Zebras and Metros and Suits, Oh My!

So, last night was the big singles shindig at Holt Renfrew. I had no expectations other than to have a bit o' fun... and fun it certainly was.

Mixture crowd

We arrived to the red-carpeted entrance of Holt Renfrew to find the party in full swing. One quick glance around the venue and I quickly thought... Yep, uh huh... lots of Metros.

Lots and lots of Metros and Suits, but a much more diverse crowd than I expected. People of all ages. And it was packed... with all the girls making the rounds of the cosmetic department to collect all the free samples to be had. Lots and lots of samples. I will not have to buy perfume for the next decade... thanks Holt Renfrew! The boys tended to loiter around the bar... It truly was a great place to hold a party. In fact, I see this as being the new way to shop, period. You get the girls doing their girlie shopping with the men no longer having to park it on the bench looking bored to tears... just drop your man off at the bar, and you can shop merrily along your way. No promises as to what state your man will be in when you return, but I'll bet that he will be a lot less annoyed that you spent 500$ on those new shoes. I digress.

The ticket got us a few free Bacardi sponsored drinks, and while I am never one to turn down free drinks, I feel it is my duty to warn the public about a certain Bacardi bottled cocktail that was on the menu last night. If you are EVER offered... even for free, a Bacardi Light Pear Cooler... Run Away! Flee to the hills!!! I still can't get the taste of aspartame out of my mouth and I am always afraid of products that claim to be one flavour (pear) but in reality are a different one all together (apple). There... ye be warned.

So, with drinks in our hands, we made the "sample" circle tour which ended up bringing us to the Lavalife Lounge. Here you got to play spin the bottle with complete strangers. Of course, no kissing because that would have been wrong, but you did pick a card with an activity on it. Girl got to play Jenga with some dude while I played 20 questions with some other dude whose name I can't remember. It was fun, but I found the photographer who must have spent an entire role of film documenting this oh so exciting game of 20 questions to be mildly distracting. As was the CityTV camera pointed at the two of us for several minutes.

"So, do you like... stuff?"

Yikes. Sadly, there was no love match made for either of us. Next.

As we continued our adventures in Sampleland, we ended our tour with Girl running into an acquaintance of hers. But not just any acquaintance folks... a real live celebrity.

donovan bailey

Unless you really, really have never watched the Olympics. Or have been living in a cave for the last 10 years, then you know who Donovan Bailey is. For those of you reading this who do not live in the Great White North... Donovan is arguably one of our country's greatest sports superstars. At least, that's what he will tell you. But seriously folks. For a brief moment back in the 1990's, Donovan Bailey showed the world that Canada could actually win medals at the Summer Olympics. Now, I did say brief... I don't want to talk about Athens... I get that enough at work.

So despite the fact that Donovan is married, he was there with a bunch of friends. It totally makes sense. If you, as a single guy, want to attract some cute girls, what better than to bring someone famous. Like flies to honey. We went over and hung out with that crowd for a while. It was hysterical. DB is a pretty nice guy. He is also quite a cheeky monkey too as it turns out-- he loves to have fun with his celebrity. And it is here that I will segway into the funniest part of the night (and no, it was not when DB's friend spilled his drink all down the front of his nice green shirt and looked around to see if anyone noticed. Dude, everyone that looks at you will notice the large wet spot on your shirt).

Like every other person at this thing, this chick walked up to talk to "Donovan".

Chickie : "Hi, do you remember me? I live in Oakville?" (DB lives in Oakville)

DB: "Um, no, sorry"

Chickie "Are you sure? I met you when you were hanging out with Donovan Bailey"

DB, barely able to keep from laughing "Really? I met you WITH Donovan Bailey?"

Chickie "Yeah, the two of you. How is Donovan? Is he here? Do you see him often?"

(At this point I should mention that the small group around DB, yours truly included, were laughing hysterically. Chickie was so oblivious to her stupidity)

DB: "Yeah, I see him quite a bit."

Chickie "Oh well, here's my card. Can you give it to him when you see him, and tell him I say Hi?"

DB: "I will certainly tell Donovan that you said Hi".

Whoa. So that is that story. They didn't stick around too much longer, and in truth neither did we. It was super fun, but in reality, I didn't see a whole lot of people "mixturing". It just wasn't the right environment, in my opinion; the mood was all wrong, the lights too bright... If I had truly gone with the intention of meeting someone, I think I would have been disappointed. But as I had no expectations on that front, I was tickled pink that I was able to experience it. One weird thing? There were several people there doing Tarot Card readings. Seemed like an odd addition to this type of event with this particular crowd.

And so here is the part where I swallow my pride. Here is a pic of me and Girl taken just as we were leaving. Somehow it made it onto the official photo page of the event... which is like, "yikes"... but what can you do when you live in a shoe?


Sufficed to say, I am a wee bit tired today and anticipate being even more tired tomorrow as I am scheduled to make an appearance at The Phoenix tonight to catch the album cover of U2's Joshua Tree. Now, if only I could stop yawning.



Capitaine said...

Great story Bea! Thanks for making me smile and laugh today.

girl said...

It was fun times Bea! Glad I could share the experience with you!!

Cascadia said...

Oh my god - I want to go with you the next time one of those things is happening! It sounded like a hoot!

theGuywiththeHat said...

Great party pic! I thought I remember your icon pic being less orange. I KNEW you weren't really an umpa lumpa :)

I'm glad you had a good time.

LuckySpinster said...

You're so fabulous! The story about DB is hiLArious.

Beatrice Petty said...

Thanks Guys,

It was a really fun evening.

Always happy to put myself in silly situations for your amusement.