Bea's Official Guide to Summer in Toronto

24 degrees here in the Big Smoke today. It feels like summer is here. Yay.

Actually, summer felt like it had arrived yesterday. I have the roomie to thank for her spontaneous "I need to get the feck onto a patio for some drinks" suggestion yesterday afternoon. Brilliant. And I guess this as good a time as any to mention that the "former-PNB/ULH" has popped back into Bea's life. He joined us on the Madison patio last evening. It was fun... like old times actually. Who knew? You can all wish him a nice "welcome back" if you like. He has put up with a lot of guff from the old girl these past few months.

Last night, I learned lots of things... such as, there are many, many, many sexual terms that I was not aware of. The outcome of this little knowledge session, was that I also learned that there are many, many, many sexual activities that a person can participate in that I have nary the desire to ever, ever, ever experience. A "dutch oven" is one thing, but if anyone ever, EVER attempts a "dirty sanchez" on me, OR a "donkey punch", I will kill you. I don't care if I go to prison for the rest of my life.


So, the Madison Avenue pub is this really cool pub downtownish Toronto with one of the sweetest patios ever. It about equals the Sticky Wicket's roof top patio in Victoria. No volleyball court, but hey... when did I EVER play volleyball at the Wicket? Wait, I did once... nevermind.

What I am trying to articulate is thus:

The Madison Avenue Pub makes it into Bea's Official Guide to Summer in Toronto as the best afterwork patio on which to enjoy a few drinks... that is, until I get bored of it and move onto another establishment. What can I say, I have a short attention span.



mollyblogger said...

It was a good patio... good company too. I especially liked when I started drawing X-Rated diagrams and the guy next to me was all googly-eyed, looking over my shoulder and stuff.

Also, include in your guide a note that asking the bitter waiter about his last "vacation" might result in billing $5 wings as $17.99. Way to go, ULH!

Beatrice Petty said...


I don't want to sit in Bill's section again. He has issues with pleasantness. And addition.

LuckySpinster said...

don't know what a dutch oven is. don't wanna know.

i dated a clown who talked about donkey punches all the time. in bed. hiLArious. i donkey-punched his ass to the kerb.

i'm blaming JLo for my gnats.

Anonymous said...

anything happen (reduction) with the $17 wings?

go carrie!!!

Beatrice Petty said...

In the end, UHL redeeemed himself (both Molly and I are convinced that his attempt at trying to be friendly with the waiter who was apparently having "personal issues" was the cause of the million dollar wing charge) by pointing out to Bill that there was an error on our bill. The price of the wings dropped from 17$ to 5$.

Crisis averted.