wet kitten

wet kitten
Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
This is Oreo getting a bath. Unlike most cats, she actually enjoys the "getting wet" aspect of the bath but for some reason, as yet to be determined by a feline psychotherapist, she has real issues with the drying phase. And of course, being an impatient little beeyatch doesn't help... the dryer is your friend little one. Unfortunately you can't see it in this picture... and of course the battery HAD to die... but the fat cat really isn't as fat as she appears in full fur. And the cutest little chicken legs... adorable. Enough about the cat, let's get down to the good stuff.

Re: The Stalker or-- as my former-PNB has fondly nicknamed him-- the VDP (very disturbing penis). He called 4 times on Sunday. Luckily, at the very last minute, I got asked to "help my roomate out on the set of reality show pilot"... ** wink, wink**... working very late you understand. Actually, I would have loved to have helped out but that is neither here nor there. Starting today, Ash is in Amsterdam for 4 days so I have little bit of a reprieve. But on the advice of another former-PNB, I am looking into a personal alarm device... stalker aside, it is probably a good idea for a single girl in the big city to have anyway.

Now, onto a completely different, and much more pleasant (sort of)... subject. My Birthday. It's coming up. Very soon. Not looking forward to it per say, but oh well... what can I do? Nothing, except maybe attempt to forget about the whole thing by drowning my grief in booze... Don't EVEN get me STARTED on Valentine's Day.

Oh, and we are having a party. February 19th... Super Loft... Be there or be square.


Lazy Sunday

Best boss ever
Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
Howdy folks,

Now, I know you are all dying to hear the stalker update so here goes. He called yesterday... and I answered, silly me. I did a great job at bullshitting about the wonderful Friday night I spent in the company of some "friends from Oakville"...

Ah, Ian and Tracy, if only you knew how many times you've covered my ass...

Dinner and a movie etc... In reality, I relaxed at home, but I figured that would be much more fun than to be sitting in one of the more expensive restaurants in Toronto, afraid for my life. Back to the phone call. So, Saturday evening came along, still at home relaxing after an exciting day of dunging out the loft. I knew it was him but... and you can stop me if you think I am wrong people... I don't think that this guy is going to go away just because I don't answer my phone. In fact, I think that would just make him more crazy. So I answered it, blah blah blah... Did I want to meet for drink Sunday afternoon?

And then, it happened. I couldn't think. My mind was SCREAMING... so loud in fact that I was sure it could be heard at the other end of the phone... it was screaming "THINK... THINK OF SOMETHING YOU IDIOT... ANYTHING... HANG UP.... RUN... THINK!!!!!!!!!!"

But I couldn't. I thought of a million great excuses as soon as I got OFF the phone, but all that came out was "Um, yeah, that might be a possibility. I have a lot of errands to run but I'll give you a call when I am done".

If you know me, you know that I like to talk... a lot. The universe is having a very big laugh at my expense. Anyway, I've got it all figured out so not to worry peeps, Ol'Bea will remain safe and sound in the comforts of the super loft today. Might pick up some pepper spray tomorrow.




Ok, it's official, I have a stalker... or the makings of one at least. The following is a copy of the email I received this morning from Ash. Have you ever had the feeling that sometimes you should be careful what you wish for?

Hi there,
well i feel the need to appologise for my reaction and opinion about yesterdays issue,i made my self lool like a fool and a closed minded person however i have experienced an incident in my life where i lost a close friend of mine that had a bisexual boyfriend who transfered Hiv to her and sadly she passed away last year, however it seems like everytime something bad happenes to me i blame everyone around me for it like what i did when my father died i blamed my whole family for it.
i believe its not fair to blame homosexuals for what happened to her but believe me jennifer its so hard to lose a friend.again i thank you for opening my eyes to this subject again, i needed to rethink about it.
however i was really happy that we met and talked ,i felt like we shared alot in common, so i really would love to see you again and maybe u can know and see more aspects of me and for that i went ahead and reserved a table for us tonite at the 360 restaurant (its the rotating restaurant at the top of the cn tower) i heard its beautiful there,i have never been there and would love to take you there.
however if you feel like not going i will totally understand,but i really feel the need to clear this up and make it up to u, you are an awsome girl,very intelligent and i love the way you think and i dont want to lose you.

For those of you who don't live in Toronto, the 360 restaurant is the at the top of the CN Tower. At 50$ a pop for an entree, it is hardly a place that you take someone whom you consider to be just a casual acquaintance.

And now, if you would be so kind as to allow Old Beatrice to prattle on, I would like address a few of the comments he made:
1) "A lot in common": In reality, we had very little in common... unless you include that we have both enjoyed doing the horizontal mambo in our past relationships... but if having that in common is your most important pre-requisite when forming romantic attachements... I think Yikes about sums that up.
2) LOVE x 3: Call me crazy, but using the word "love" 3 times in one e-mail to someone you've just met is pretty much"on the cat"...
3) "I don't want to lose you": I don't even know what to say about this one except that "Dude, you never had me!" It is IMPOSSIBLE to lose something that you never had. It's as ridiculous as me saying "I don't want to lose that million dollars, or the llama"... but I never had a million dollars... or a llama, so how could I make that statement without sounding crazy. I couldn't, and therein lies my point.

And Jeff... if you are reading ... I blame you for all of this!

Petty Out.


Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
Say Hi to Tony everyone. I dreamt about him last night. What it means remains to be determined by my personal dream Guru Dee. Liam Neeson was also there... Could my subconcious have picked two more random celebrities? I think not.

Anyway, that's not what the Yikes in the title was referring to. No, the Yikes refers to my "date" from last night. Again, date isn't the word. I was meeting up with a person who I was under the "impression" (and yes, those are quotation fingers) had just "moved" to "Toronto"... I thought I was being a nice person. I was a lttle worried, based on some comments he made on the phone, that he wasn't necessarily understanding that I wasn't looking to get into a relationship at this moment... but Bea being the nice person that she is thought she would at least meet this recent arrival to the big city... and I figured perhaps I could score some Fefe Dobson tickets at some point... I know, bad Bea.

It started off OK. He's had an interesting life... family moved to Egypt when he was young, Dad killed in a motorcycle accident, ran away back to Canada at age 14, hasn't seen family since... the usual... I was mildly uncomfortable with his line of questionning at times... But that's just prudish old me. I'm not comfortable talking about my favorite sexual positions with complete strangers... sue me.

And then somehow, out of the blue, he just casually mentionned that he was mildy homophobic. I was kind of shocked because he seemed so open and liberal about everything--from sex to politics. And when I say mildy homophobic, what I really meant was extraordinarily homophobic... Think "1985" homophobic... Think "gay men having sex with monkeys is the reason why AIDS exists". Sufficed to say I was horrified.

Yikes is an understatement. And now I am afraid.



Beatrice The Wunderkind!!!

Betrachten Sie Beatrice. Sie spricht ___________.
En nu spreekt Beatrice het ___________. Dat is zeer grappig!
Beatrice aprendeu como falar diversas línguas, _________, numa questão de minutos.
С тех пор когда сделал Beatrice выучьте __________?
Beatrice aprendió en el tiempo casi igual que ella aprendió __________.
그리고Beatrice은 한국어를...___________.

Can you guess which languages Beatrice can speak?

Beatrice Petty - Artiste Extraordinaire!!!

Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
Do you like my picture? I drew it myself. Don't be jealous of my extraordinary artistic talents... It demeans us both.

So, anyway... how is everyone doing? I hope this posting finds you all well on this extraordinarily frigid day in the Big Smoke. And speaking of extraordinary... I find it extraordinarily bizarre how my legs can still feel the freezer burn from last night, from having walked just two blocks in the above mentioned extraordinarily cold winter weather. How extraordinary indeed!

So, my date with Vince went well. It was about what I expected except that he is much shorter than I thought. And his head was extraordinarily undersized. I'm not sure that I could consider being romantically involved with someone whose head is so much smaller than my own. I mean, I don't have an unusually large head do I? I suppose that it isn't something that would normally come up in conversation though.

"So, Beatrice, I really like you, but... well, it's about your head"

So I guess only time will tell whether or not a friendship will develop with Mini-Vinny. A nice guy, but there is that whole cat/cheese/wine thing... Very important factors when choosing friends. I mean, I could live with 2 out of the 3... say, cats and wine and no cheese or; wine and cheese without the cat or; maybe even cheese and cats, no wine. Actually, scratch that... the wine is pretty much essential, as is the cat. The cheese, I suppose, I could live without. Sigh.

So tonight I meet the Rockstar...Ash. I'm pretty sure he is really young... he's also American... and an extraordinarily atrocious speller. Yikes. Stay tuned for that tale.

Extraordinarily Yours,


A Little Spooky

Alright, now that the whole "PNB was never a PNB" affair is over and I've been able to catch my breath... Let me fill you in on the latest. Yes, believe it or not, I was able to function in other aspects of my life this past weekend.

So, Saturday... Right. Without going into all the details, the roomie and I sort of came to the conclusion that we could both benefit from a little help from the "Universe". And so we asked the "Universe" for help. And boy did it listen. The first sign came knocking on the door... literally... with an invite from the guy down the hall to attend his b-day party. We went and now it would seem that Dee has picked up a swarmy little parasite named Rod. I call him Todd... My little joke. Nothing beats coming home from work only to be accosted in the hallway by Mini-Stalker. On a happier note, we'll see on Friday how her date goes with cutie PA... a much more welcome prospect I can assure you.

As for me? Well, now that Bea no longer has any potentials waiting in the wings, and no longer being on the crack cocaine that was Lavalife, I've decided to finally meet up with a very nice guy who stuck around for a very long time, despite being repeatedly blown off for greener pastures. That's tonight. I've got no hopes or expectations... All I know is that I don't have to cook tonight... I really don't feel like cooking tonight.

And just when you think that the "Universe" didn't throw me an unexpected bone... For I was starting to be jealous of Dee's ability to attract the most random of men... No more than 30 minutes after leaving Jeff's I found myself at the Dundas West station waiting for Ye Olde 168 Symington when a guy... a complete stranger just starts up a conversation. Of course Petty, with the mind set of a) guys kind of suck and b) complete strangers coming up and talking to you in Toronto is not on... was of course not really the most enthusiastic of conversation partners...

But this fellow... Ash is is name... just wouldn't give up. Under the auspices of inviting me to a gig happening in a few weeks time... Oh, I guess I should mention here that he is a musician who plays in Fefe Dobson's band... I didn't know who that was but apparently she's kind of big... He asked for my email and I gave it to him. He promptly emailed me first thing this morning and, despite me explaining about where my head space is at this particular moment re: the whole relationship thing... he is DESPERATE to meet up with me. Will it backfire? Have I now attracted my own "Universe-throwing the good in with the bad-LMAO" mini stalker? Only time will tell.

Stay Tuned...

And like the Ballerina...

Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
Beatrice has done a 180... of sorts. Of all the possible scenarios that I had come up with about how the meeting with the former-PNB was going to go down, I had never imagined that it would go the way it did.

I went there expecting to discover how I could have been so wrong in thinking that he had truly cared about me... to have my feelings validated in some way... to be reassured that yes, he did care, but that sometimes feelings change blah, blah, blah... Honestly, I really didn't know what to expect. After all, I was treading in new waters... the dumpee so rarely gets the opportunity to have the final say... at least not in person. But here I was, laying it all on the line.

Over the course of the nearly 2 hour exchange, which was much more 2 sided than I thought it would be, the end results were as follows:

1) Yes, Jeff did like me, at first. And then, when it got to the point where he had to make a choice to take it to the next level... it just wasn't there for him. And, being the honest and nice guy that he is, he felt it was better to end it than to have my heart even more broken later on.
2) It turns out that my feelings for him were no where near what I thought they were. I can hear the *gasps* escaping form your mouths. It's true.

It turns out... after much reflection about what I was really going to miss about the PNB, and some spot-on dream analysis by my personal psychologist Dee... that somehow I had turned Jeff into a sort of Mini Ian/Kelly, and that what I was really looking for in him was not a romantic relationship, but a bond à la the one I have with the above mentioned fellas who have since moved on and started new bonds/families of their own. How's that for deep? I still have some shit to deal with on this front, but I think... and hope, that my former PNB is now an NF (new friend)... something that I am definitely in need of in this town.


And now I need to come up for air!



Feeling Much Better Today Thanks

Howdy Folks,

Now, before you all start complaining to yourselves about the decidedly morose tone that this blog has taken on these past few days, and that from now on you will only hear me bewailing over the loss of the PNB... let me reassure that this is not the case. Granted, today's posting will feature the above mentioned former-PNB, as tonight I will get the chance to have my say in person. Primarily, the questions I want to address are 1) how is it possible that he didn't find me to be the adorable person that I am and 2) Why has no one given this boy an Academy Award for Best Actor?

Oh, and just to prepare you for tomorrow's posting... You lucky people will all find out how the whole thing went down. Perhaps I can be an inspiration to all the women out there who have found themselves in the same predicament. After all... how often do we get a chance to confront the person who has hurt us? As big a jerk as Jeff has turned out to be, I must give him a little bit of credit for being man enough to allow me have my say.

On a completely different... but somewhat related note... I have a date of sorts for tomorrow. This was a person who I have been in contact with for the past month or so and despite the repeated attempts to blow him off, he is still keen to meet me. I feel that there has to be a reason for him still being in my life... But don't worry children, this is not a rebound thing... I truly feel that this is a "meeting a new friend" thing. After all, I could not possibly seriously date a fellow with a cat allergy, who doesn't like cheese and drink, even like wine. If you know me, even in the slightest, you know that these are three of my favorite things. Sufficed to say, the former-PNB enjoyed all of these things as much as I did. Too bad he liked these things more than me... bastard.

Stay tuned for the continuation of "Tales from a Broken Heart" by Beatrice Petty...


PS. And yes, I realize that am being OVERLY DRAMATIC about the entire affair.



Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
What can I say, except that I am no less sad than I was 3 days ago. And, that despite an entire weekend of reflection and lamenting, I am still no closer to being ready to let go of the PNB. It needs to be done-- this I know-- but like many difficut things in this world... it is easier said than done.

The answer to the main question is still waiting to be unearthed-- which is, how I could possibly have been so convinced, so sure that he felt one way... when he really felt another. So confused.

I was told by someone wise a while back that I should listen to my heart re: the PNB... let his actions point to the truth. This I did-- to distaterous consequences so it would seem. That will teach me to open my heart and emotions. Being cold and distant, living in my protective emotional shell seemed to have worked so well in the past, so why did I have to go and do things differently this time? Stupid Beatrice.

And if I sound bitter... I suppose I am. Without going into all the details, there was a part of me that felt that I had found "The One" ... hence why I am finding it hard to let go.

I am open to suggestions on how to deal with all of this. One of the explanations that Jeff gave me was that it was obvious that I liked him more than he liked me. The irony is that it took this to happen for me to examine how I truly felt. How interesting is that?

Petty Out


The Dropping of the Other Shoe

It's official folks... The PNB is no more... The bomb dropped yesterday when... writing an email to get some reassurance about the whole coupling, the tables turned and instead of reassurance I got the old... "I like you, but..."

After a very sad night of being consoled by my fabulous roommate... and a healthy dose of The Office, Beatrice has learned her lesson-- true love for her is not meant to be... At least not with this particular PNB... So sad. It'll take me a while to get over it... to try to comprehend how I could have been so completely wrong in my interpretation of the signs... and of course, it isn't going to help my belief in my oft stated opinion that guys are complete jerk-offs. But I'll get over it. In the meantime... I am accepting donations for the Beatrice Petty "Help Restore the Faith in True Love" Fund. All proceeds will go towards buying me material things to make me feel better such as clothes, jewelry, shoes and the like. What is it they say about the therapeutic effect of shopping? I don't know... On second thought, send any donations to the Red Cross and help people who actually need it. Bea is a big girl.



And another bad scan...

Sorry... This is one of those moments where the people who truly love me should tell me that I should never go onto American Scanner Idol... because I suck... and yes, I AM dressed like a hoochey mamma today.

Another photo of the loft, this one taken from Dee's staircase just before Christmas. Just felt I had to qualify that... in case you thought we had a Christmas tree up all year round.


Worst Scanner Ever

Super loft from entrance
Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
But it gives you the general idea. This is "The Loft". Ain't it purdy?
Dear God,

It's me, Petty.

Why are there so many Toronto Raptor's games? You have the scheduled every other day or night... sometimes every night... for 7 months out of the year.

Why you be hatin' on me like that?

Hell... Thy name is 168 Symington

Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
My back went out this morning. Why? Because once again, my stupid bus was stupid full of stupid people. It was about half full this morning when I got on, with most of the people jammed onto the first half of the vehicle. I made my way down towards the back, pushing through the people too dumb to realize that if only they moved to the back they would a) have more room to stand and not be packed in like sardines and b) more people could get on the bus. But alas, this was not the case, and I weathered through several "tsks" and looks of disgust before I reached the wide open space of the back of the bus.

And then, I thought at first it was some sort of mirage... that my eyes were deceiving me due to the slightly later than normal bedtime the night before... but no, there were actually some seats available. Holy Crap. So I sat and it was good... very good. Until the next stop that is, when Fatty McFat decided to squeeze in next to me and cross his arms... A SEVERE violation of my personal space. I was left with no other option than to twist my upper body away from this vicious and completely undeserved attack. And of course, I coudn't get up, because by this time, the bus was so completely full, that even the retards who wouldn't move down to begin with had been forced to the back. No more wide open spaces for Bea.

And then, it happened... two stops away from the Dundas West subway station. My lower back...I felt it go... the pain was excruciating. It was all I could do to not scream out and smack the guy who had inserted his fat ass next to me. And so began another day in the Big Smoke.

Oddly enough, the whole experience reminded me of something that came up while watching American Idol with Dee. It boggled my mind just a wee bit that there were so many people who truly had no idea that they were the worst singers ever. And to argue with the judges when told this fact... "But my friends and family told me I have the greatest voice ever"... Of course they will say that... because they hate you. If they really cared they would have told you that you sound like a chipmunk on helium... oh, and while you are at it, dressing like a hoochey mamma isn't going to make your voice sound better.

I feel confident that my friends like me enough to tell me when I suck at something... not that I actually do... but if I did, I'm sure they would tell me... Lord knows my Mom has no trouble telling me when she thinks I suck. I love you Mom.

I guess what I am trying to say is that some people could really benfit from a nice healthy dose of insecurity... I'm just putting that out there...



Grumpy Pylon

That's me in a nut shell today folks. As lovely as minus 33 degrees feels first thing in the morning, standing like a sardine in both a bus and a subway car is much, much worse. I need to find some way to withdraw into some sort of fantasy world... A world full of Orlando Blooms and Gerard Butlers, with perhaps a few Judes and Ewans thrown in... for shits and giggles. Ah, if only Bea Petty hadn't given up Being Petty.

So, the weekend was nice--quiet, but nice. The Big K meister was in town Friday night which would normally have entailed us all going out and getting hammered... . As it turns out, apparently we are now a bunch of lameasses. We couldn't EVEN do a late movie. How pathetic was that? I'm almost embarrased to write about it, but this blog is all about the truth... and I am determined to write nothing but the truth, no matter how painful it is.

Anyhoo, Saturday was even more lame as the PNB... blaming a basketball head wound for his all day headache instead of the beers and scotches he had consumed the night before whilst bowling... "It's not a hangover"... Yeah, right... wanted a night to himself in his pad. So, that left Petty at home all by her lonesome. I did have a wonderful time though... introducing myself to The Office... which is getting funnier the more I watch. And of course, I did get my Orlando (and PNB) fix on Sunday for the Golden Globes so it's all good. I did learn something though... I bruise easily when tickled. See, I told you this blog was all about honesty.

Oh, and another thing??? My cat had gas this weekend... under the covers of all places. It freaked me out. So much so, that I present:

The Fat Cat FartKu

Wee Wee Kitty, ppphht
Did that sound come from your butt?
'Scuse Me would be nice

That is all,


The Pumpkin Spice Latte that saved my life...

Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
OK... So, where to start? I guess I'll just say it... Beatrice was a bad girl last night.

Out at the Resevoir Lounge for the Puppets Who Kill wrap party, Bea and Dee spent the evening hobnobbing with the cast and crew of said show. Dee with one boy in particular. Well, as you all know, I am the nicest person in the entire world and knowing that Dee wanted some time to get to know her little PA, I had to make myself scarce... which is kind of hard to do when you don't actually know anybody. So, what was a girl to do???

Enter Captain Paul in his fancy red pants. I'm a little puzzled how someone could be so wasted yet remain vertical and even swing dance. I guess that's why he's the Captain. Anyway, left in the company of Captain Paul for the evening... I just kind of went with the flow... it just seemed easier to let him give me a few kisses than to make the effort to talk to someone else... Besides, it's not like I could get away... I tried that but he kept popping back up... kind of like a bad penny. Eventually Dee showed back up... a succesful evening from what I understand... and we were able to get the hell out of there. Sufficed to say today I feel like crap but am much improved since my visit to Starbucks... Hence the subject line of this posting.

There you have it. Judge me if you will, but the whole Captain Paul affair has left me with some interesting thoughts-- which I will now share you with you.

First off, I love kissing... It's fun and it's easy. I've never really been picky about who I kiss... I'll kiss pretty much anyone, especially after more than a few martinis. I've been told that I am a good kisser and I guess I've had good luck with even my most random kissing partners... Until last night that is.

Unfortunatley, when it comes to kissing, Captain Paul just didn't cut it. In fact, he was so TERRIBLE that I was feeling slightly nauseous... and NO, I was not THAT drunk. It's official... I kissed someone who was so bad that it made me want to puke. Yikes!

But... is it possible that, as clueless as he is, I am so attracted to my PNB that I am no longer attracted to other people? Hence the desire to vomit in Captain Paul's mouth. Hmmm... a very interesting thought indeed.



Stupid Prince

Stupid Prince
Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.

So, if you even remotely know Petty, you know that I am a huge Anglophile. You may even be aware that I am a Monarchist. (That's right Martin... I'm keeping my eye on you...) But you definitely know that I am an enormous History fanatic/geek/afficionado.

Is it just me or is there something earily reminiscent of Harry's choice of costume at a recent soiree. While I think that the hole affair has likely been blown way out of proportion... I do find it worth bringing up that Harry's Great Uncle Edward... you know, the one who abdicated the throne to marry the american divorcee Wallis Simpson... was a huge supporter of the Nazi's and their policies (so was Joe Kennedy for that matter--the patriarch of america's staunchest democratic family... go figure). Petty did a whole paper on the intimate relationship between Edward and Hitler... Thank goodness that floozy came along or else we might, even now, be goose-stepping our way to work instead of taking the TTC.

And was there NO ONE around that might have suggested that the theme of his costume might, in the slightest way, be offensive to one or two people?

"Hey Harry, dude. Er... You really think that that costume is a good idea? Like, millions of people died at the hands of Nazis. Why don't you wear one of your crowns or something... go as a Prince?"

"No way man, the red band goes with my hair."

Stupid, Stupid Prince

You can come... If you want...

Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.

That's exactly what you want to come out of your PNB's mouth... And that reminds me of a book I got for Christmas-- given by my Dad of all people. "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys" is really quite informative and definitely entertaining... Where was this book a few months ago I'd like to know? Anyway, I am thinking that there are guys out there that are not necessarily not into you... it's just that they are that clueless... especially single child, lifelong bachelor ones... Whoa and Yikes!

So, an exciting week so far, with the best yet to come. Got my hair cut yesterday... ooh... so curly. I love it. And tonight I have a wrap party for Puppets who Kill which Dee... the rockingest person ever... invited me to. And the KS man is in town until Saturday. Won't see him tonight but am looking forward to tying one on tomorrow with da boyz.

You know, Petty was just thinking about how funny it is that I see some people much more now that I have moved to Toronto. As opposed to Vic. where NOTHING ever really happened, and there was a never a reason to go unless visiting people, Toronto always has stuff going on. Of course when I say "some people", I am really only referring to KS who comes here for business frequently. No one else has really made any effort to visit. Oh, and there is actually a person that lives in Toronto who I see less/never now that I live here so... not sure what the logic behind that one is... hmmmm... Forget what I just said.


You are SOOOOOO lucky;
I'm as patient as a saint...
Patience running out :{



The Cat Who Ate Toronto!!!

Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
Ok, I won't lie to you... this is perhaps the worst I have ever looked in a photo but I couldn't resist putting it up because of how adorable the Wee-Wee Cat looks. And I know what you are all thinking ("holy crap that cat is fat" or maybe... "hey, it's Little Shamu" or, "eat much fatty?")... but before you actually say it out loud, she is VERY sensitive about her appearance and her clumsiness. Laughing at her or insulting her will only make things worse.

And in other news, my bag finally came yesterday. I feel that I have scarred to Fedex guy for life. I doubt he has ever delivered anything to anyone so excited... I stopped short of giving him a kiss and a... well, you can use your imagination on that one. Anyway, I am very relived. I feel like my life can finally get back to a normal routine. I'd like to thank everyone for all their support during this difficult time. And if you didn't support me, well then... you should be ashamed of yourselves... turning your back on Petty when she needed you the most. You Bastards!

At least my sweetie was there for me. Actually, he's kind of driving me crazy. He sells real estate and from what I understand, January is a very slow month for sales. So, he spends his days doing errands and trying to keep himself occupied. Now he's run out of things to do and he's gone crazy!!! Literally. I need to give him some things to do during the day... any thoughts?



Dear Diary

Dear Diary
Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
It has been two weeks since I last saw any sign of my possessions. I fear that all is lost, but I must not give up hope. I must think of my baby-- My Wee-Wee Cat who I believe, in a sweet, albeit misguided attempt to sympathize with my discontentedness, has taken to urinating all over my goose down duvet. Oh Wee-Wee Cat, please leave the lamentation to me.

Diary, I would like to believe that there is still a possibility that my treasures might arrive back to me post haste, but having been thwarted in all previous attempts to trace them... Alas, there is not much left to do but wait.

Oh, if only Sir Retardo Crossroads McCourier had not been given the responsibility of looking after my valise. I take little comfort in the knowledge that many other innocent and hauntingly beautiful young women were put in the same compromising situation.

And Lord Federal, of Expressshire... Do your promises mean nothing? You promised that day, under the old oak tree, that you would come through and deliver unto me my package before yesterday was o'er. And then it was this morn'. And then the afternoon. And now the eve is almost upon us and I have nothing. Not even a tissue with which I might dry mine eyes. Sigh.

Yours Sorrowfully,


New Do

Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
Petty needs help with a new hairstyle... Any thoughts? And no bees!


Best Gift Ever!!!

Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.

As you may or may not know, good old Beatrice is a simple gal... gets excited about the little things in life... like National Geographic map suppliments, getting phone calls at Christmas from a certain PNB... who DIDN'T actually phone... bastard... What, they don't have phones in Santa Monica??? Heehee, it's all good, he got his comeupance...

Anyway, back to how beautiful and simple I am... Just before Petty embarked on her whirlwind trip back to SSI, my roomate and I did our little gift exchange thang... I opened mine and got so excited that it was a purse... because I needed a purse... but then... OH MY... this was not just any purse folks... Once and for all, I had honest to god proof, that I Beatrice Petty, was indeed... the wife... of Orlando Bloom.

It's a FACT... the purse says so... Mrs. Bloom... sigh... That'll teach Jeff for not calling at Christmas...

But as great as that gift was... it was, in fact, a gag gift... my real gift was something way too extravagant that I will not mention here, except to say that Dee, you spent way too much!!! But I love you for it.

Anyhoo... no word on the luggage yet... Where is Obi Wan when you need him... he's my only hope at the moment.



Has Anyone Seen This Bag???

Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.

Perhaps my bag doesn't look EXactly like this adorable one, but at this point, I'll take anything. The update on the lost luggage sitch is this... The courier company seems to have "misplaced" my very large bag. They phoned on Saturday... supposedly ready to deliver it but, because they got my cell's voice mail... they didn't attempt to deliver it to the address they had.

Wait... it gets better. When I phoned back to say..."hey, I got your message, I'm so happy that you'll finally be delivering my bag today... and I'm very sorry, my cell is dead because it has taken so long to get my bag and my charger is inside it... but I am home... so come on by..."... I was told that I wouldn't be getting it that day because they were no longer in my area. I then said "Hey, no worries... I'll be home all day tomorrow, let me give you my home number that actually works so you can call ahead..."...

"I'm sorry, we can only call the number that Air Canada has given us"

"OK............. But seeing as how you told me that you will not deliver the bag unless you've spoken to someone, and I've just told you that the phone number you have will not work because the phone is dead and, you won't take a new number.... By that logic, you will always try the cell, not get an answer, and never deliver the bag???"


"OK... that is retarded!"

"Hold Please".... click

This account of the last few days of Bea's life has been brought to you by Thank you for your support.

On a different note... my adorable PNB Jeff (potential new boyrfiend for those un-cool people) got home late Sunday and took me out for dinner and a movie last night... It was amazing. Just what Ol' Petty needed to take her mind off the missing bag. I also got christmas gift from him... which, at this point, is the only one I have in my possession. A really nice watch... um... sort of... But hey, It's the thought that counts right?

Hasta la Vista



Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.

OK Everyone...

I am going to try this again. New Year's resolution and all that jazz.

So what's new with good Old Petty you might be wondering. Well??? The answer is not a whole heckofalot. Without going into details about the whole Jetsgo=No go fiasco that was my getting out to BC, and the I hate Air Canada who lost my luggage coming back from BC debacle... Christmas was great. I forgot how green BC is. Oh, and it doesn't smell like garbage.

Lavalife update? Ok... I am seeing someone--I think. He sells real estate and has a cat named Oliver. He's also introduced me to The Family Guy. Perhaps one of the funniest shows EVER. Whatever happens with Jeff... because God knows how much luck I have with men... Don't even get me started on the guy who I just met for coffee... OK, so I met another guy even though I am seeing someone... but Jeff is out of town and I'm not 100% that he's not seeing other people and he didn't even call me at Chritmas even thouhg we were both on the Westcoast... Shut up ok??? Anyway... I just discovered just how big a snob I am... So sue me, I don't think that a 40 year old guy who lives with his mom SHOULD be proud that he is about to get a raise to 13$ an hour. I CAN'T EVEN... Anyway, back to The Family Guy... I will always be indebted to Jeff for introducing me to... UH OH

So, what's new with everyone. Keeping busy? As per usual, I spent the first day of the new year nursing a hangover. It's over now, but the couch is looking pretty darn inviting.