Show and Tell

Day two without the WC… Am starting to lose all hope... Am seeing soccer balls around every corner… Peoples heads have now been replaced by curious round white sphere with black squares… out of their mouths the only words I hear nothing but FIFA FIFA FIFA FIFA… to which my only reply is CROUCH Crouch CROUCH Crouch CROUCH? And then I start doing the most bizarre robot dance… people at work are starting to look at me funny…

And in other news, just because I can, here are some pictures. I thought you would enjoy seeing the ghetto senior’s home that my balcony now looks on to…I miss the trains... and how every so often, when the smog dissipates ever so slightly, I can see the top of the city’s largest phallus that some people call the CN Tower. Also, a picture of my baby… My how he has grown.



So You Think You Can...

Lucky for all of you there is no WC for two whole days. I know... a tragedy of extraordinary magnitude... but what's a girl to do?

Anyway, so here I am right now. Watching my favorite 'Let's make some other useless person famous' show "So You Think You Can Dance"... when I see an ad for something even more ridiculous.

America's Got Talent.

Yeah, the girl who can shoot a bow and arrow with her feet while doing a handstand deserves to win a million dollars. Like fer sure dude.

And then it occurred to me.

ALL of these shows are this ridiculous. Every single one of them!

And yet I watch. Oh yes I watch. OK, so I won't watch America's Got Talent... or American Inventor... Yikes, that's about it. I'll admit I am a huge SYTYCD fan. I watch the Idol shows, but channel surf an awful lot, unless a cute boy is singing... The Apprentice, Amazing Race... head hung in shame cough Surreal Life if the occasion calls for it...

America's Next Top Model, Canadian version ONLY because it is filmed, like, where I grew up and in a "Hey, I think I was passed out there once with my friends throwing pennies at me one night" kind of way... God help us if they do any film shoots at UVic because the for sure I will be enjoying it in a "I WAS passed out there and tied to a bench thanks to Kopps/ Hey I stole a table from that place and carried it all the way back to residence only to get busted by campus security and claim that we just "happened" to "find" a table 1km away from where it actually lived/ got a stupid RED card and almost kicked out of rez because of my adorable albeit a bit precocious when she's drunk l'ilb friend Wee" kind of way... I digress.

Good Times.

Oh yeah... re: reality shows... Let's get back to the golden age of TV shall we? That's right, the 1970's...

The world needs more Love Boat.

That's my story and I am sticking to it.


PS. Go England!


Help Me


My name is Beatrice and I am a football-aholic.

Right now, I am about 5 minutes away from quitting my job and watching soccer full-time.

I love it.

I can't get enough of it.

Hockey, baseball, figure skating and... gulp... dare I say, even the Olympic Games can all kiss my arse... you name it, they all suck compared to the "Beautiful Game".

It's pretty bad.

It's really bad.


And by bad, I mean good...

Good in a "I'm completely obsessed, totally need to get a life and may just start dating again just to distract myself from Peter Crouch" way that is.

So, um... what was I saying?

Oh yeah...




Is for horses...

So, really and truly my life is the FIFA World Cup right now. Other than work being crazy busy, putting my new digs together and trying to re-activate my social life that is. Oh, don't get excited, there's nothing going on on the love front, thus ensuring that 2006 is decidedly neither the Summer, nor the Year of Love when it comes to the old girl. Like, whatever...

And so, like YAY ENGLAND. They keep pulling wins out of their arses, all the while saying that they have more to give... so, like WHEN will they show more? Seriously, this is a question I would like answered. How do you decide that you are going to "give more"... or that we "can do better"... or that "we have not shown our full potential", "still have not been our very best"... etc, etc, etc...

Anyway, YAY England... but suck it up boys... and... ahem... coach of the English team... Where the eff was Crouch today? That's all I have to say on this matter.

And just because I can... here are my current favorite commercials. The crab is kinda random, but you know, so is life.



Still got the Fever


Bea has finally moved. It’s been 2 days and already I am LOVING it. 10 minutes to work is a beautiful thing.

One thing I am not loving is having no TV until tomorrow… so off to a pub to watch the Hockey Game tonight… and thankfully England did not play this weekend.

Speaking of England, words cannot express how huge of a crush I now have on Peter Crouch. It was one thing when he was just a tall and awkward English footballer… But there are so many other attributes to go along with his talents on the field.

Allow me to introduce Peter Crouch, Robot Dance Master:

Is their nothing sexier than a guy doing the robot? I thought not.

Bea “never, ever let me go to England” Petty


Besides the fact that Blogger has been mildly cheesing me off, not a whole lot going on except organizing my move for Saturday, trying to figure out what is going on with a job that I got re-offered but is way beneath my potential and talents and watching the World Cup. Of those three, guess which has been my favorite?

The thing that I have been enjoying the most? Besides being in awe of watching some of nature's finest specimens dance the delicate ballet we call football. Um... yeah, you all know me too well. Why I've been enjoying simply watching the above mentioned specimens of course. They could be standing around the field chewing bubble gum and I would be enthralled.

Watching football/soccer is like watching the pages of a GQ magazine come to life. At this point, I have so many FIFA boyfriends that they cannot be counted on two hands plus a foot. It's a darn good thing that I don't work for FIFA or that the organization is not run by women... Did I say darn good thing? I'll take that back. I think a field full of shirt-less, totally ripped, hot and sweaty men running around for 90 minutes is just what the world needs. That's my story and I am sticking to it...

And just because I can, here are some of my FIFA favorites.

L'il Aussie Hero

Adorable Crouch... can Head like a master... the ball that is!!! Did I mention he is 6'7"?

Ah, Zidane... How could you not love a guy who wears golden shoes?

We all know how I feel about Michael Owen

This is Joe. Bea likes Joe.

And for some reason, despite his high voiced metrosexuality, I was still going to include a pic of Beckham... Because he is pretty freaking adorable... But Blogger wouldn't let me, I took that as a sign.

Go England!


I've Got a Fever

World Cup fever... and this time there is more than just a cowbell that can cure it.

Blogger's been down for me for a couple days... which is probably a good thing because that means that no one could make any comments... because if they had, I am sure someone would have pointed out that I am CLEARLY an idiot.

2 years ago, there was no World Cup. It was the Euro Cup of something like that. How the hell was I supposed to know the difference? But this latest development has me a wee bit frightened. For if Toronto went nuts when it was simply this tournament, a lesser tournament if you will... how will the next month unfold? I can tell you that there was not a seat in the pub we went to at lunch to watch the first match…

Ok, I am sorry but I have to get this off my chest. Feel free to go to a publican house by yourself and only order a water… but when you are taking up a table of 6 so you can watch the game and drink said water and there is a group of 6 who need a table and plan on ordering more than just free nourishment… at least have some consideration for the servers who would much prefer to serve people who will give them tips… and go sit with one of the other 5 guys sitting on their own drinking water and taking up entire tables. It’s an outrage, and OUTRAGE I tell you!

Anyway, I have nothing exciting to report in the least, but thought I would preemptively point out my error before someone else did... Who knew that I could actually be wrong about something? Weird.

Go England!



Thy name is Michael Owen. Who needs King Beckham of the Metrosexuals when you have MO…

World Cup Soccer is once again upon us and proving once again that betting on sports is the one things that unites the working folk… das office is doing another pool à la March Madness. I think we all know who the old girl will be rooting for in Group B… Merry Olde England of course. They have a pretty good chance of making it past the first round. Not that that would make any difference as to whether I would pick them to do so, but there you have it.

Now, people out West, and I should know because I was once one of them, really don’t follow World Cup Soccer all that much. I think we may have some vague inkling as to when it is on, but only in so far as that pubs tend to be a bit more crowded on a Tuesday than they usually are. But other than that, soccer fever is pretty much non-existent. Imagine my shock when I moved to Toronto in 2004 just as that year’s tournie was kicking off (OMG, I’ve been here 2 years… my how time flies… Happy Anniversary to me). I also just so happened to have moved into a predominantly Portuguese neighbourhood, and for those people living in cities where not a large population of ex-pat Portuguese exists, there are no people who love their ‘football’ more…

Let me take you back to 2004 if I may. T’wasn’t into the whole tournament so much. I was mostly jumping from couch to couch until the loft was ready and looking for a job. You know, fun things of that nature, but when I did finally move into da’ hood I noticed the jubilant nature of the folks living therein. “What a happy bunch” I remembered thinking. Happy indeed for Portugal was kicking in the tournament and one could scarcely come or go in the evening without seeing everyone and their dog sitting outside on their front porches waving flags or hugging their neighbours. Also impossible to miss was the honking of flag-adorned cars around our little block after a victorious Portugal vs. whatever losing team. This was my first introduction into the world of the Portuguese football fans… Needless to say when away I went for the Canada Day long weekend with no access to a TV or radio to hear the outcome of the Portugal vs. Greece final, I was anxious to get home to see whether or not I would be able to sleep that night. I did not need to wait until I returned home to find out what the outcome had been.

For just as the triumphant Portuguese fans would stream out into the streets when their team was victorious, so too would they react when not. I am hear to tell you folks that I still have yet to recover from the complete and utter display of sadness and melancholy… the disappointment people, that had befallen my hitherto jubilant friends. People were sitting on their porches, heads hanging down, shaking in disbelief…Neighbours were comforting other neighbours, some crying, some not…There was no need to rush back home to hear the outcome, it was there in plain site. Oh, the humanity. Needless to say over on the Greek side of town, known as The Danforth, where I discovered that my life had been incomplete until I tasted Saganaki… oh, the wonder of fried cheese… the mood was decidedly more euphoric.

Cut to this year and while I am in the midst of a move, and possibly looking for new employment… meaning that sadly not much has changed in two years… that still does not mean that I don’t give a care… and of course, when there is money involved, I can give a care about just about anything… And give a care I do.

Want to know a few other things I give a care about?

1) England

2) Rooting for England the World Cup as they may have a chance to make it past the second round

3) Not having to root for England in the aforementioned predominantly Portuguese neighbourhood where a) there is nowhere to actually watch any games except those little speak easies that most crack-whores will not even enter and b) if there were any respectable establishments in which to watch the matches the fact that I am NOT rooting for Portugal would most decidedly cause me no small degree of bodily harm

4) I work next door to what is the place to go for English football… at any time if the year. I never knew that a place like this existed, but it’s the sort of establishment that opens itself up to hard-core ex-pat British football fans up 6am on a Saturday morning so that those fans, who, being British after all, have more than likely been out drinking until the wee hours of the morning but STILL will wake up at 5am in order to get there early to make sure that get a seat… and a beer… for 6am… on a Saturday. Anyway, so I work right next door… It’s perfect.

5) Soccer Hotties. Second only to… hmmm… actually, soccer players are second to no one. Soccer Hotties.

Bea “Hooligan in disguise” Petty


A Funny Thing Happened...

On the way to posting today... I'll post what I wrote today tomorrow... but sadly, just as I was getting ready to go online... I was unexpectedly and more than mildly sickened by the news that I was totally screwed over by work today...

In a nutshell, I was so screwed over that IF by such fortunate happenstance I actually get offered the position that I was already offered but which has now been demoted and being posted externally so that I now have to apply and interview for like any random idiot who has not been in a higher level position with said organization for the past few years... that truly there is no chance that I could possibly work for an organization who would treat a valued employee in this manner.

I take comfort in the fact that once I leave no one will have an iota of a clue as to how things work there. I know that sounds odd and really conceited... but note to employers... try not to only have a contract employee be the only one who actually knows how to make your organization function... I'm just sayin'.

Stay tuned for today's tomorrow post: a hilarious commentary on the FIFA World Cup championship... whose work pool I am in... but will likely not even be around to reap the rewards of victorious participation therein.

Bea "Back to BC with my tail between my legs? Perhaps" Petty


My Kingdom for a...

Life is pretty quiet for the old girl these days. With pretty much every friend/acquaintance in town now in couples-ville, I am basically on my own right now. It’s not a huge issue as I enjoy my alone time and I am busy getting organized for ye olde move… which cannot come soon enough in my books.

And not that I think that the moment I move to my new little neighbourhood that I will magically have all the things that I am missing right now… but allow me to present the following example:

Yesterday was a great day. I woke up and the sun was shining…my creative juices were flowing so I started to do some writing. I took a break for lunch and turned the TV on only to discover that History was just starting to show the entire Band of Brothers series from start to finish. Being a huge WW2/ History nerd, I had wanted to see this for a very, very long time. Some people get excited for soap operas, American Idol or The Apprentice… I get excited for 10-part WW2 mini-series’...

Anyway, so started to watch I did and got totally engrossed in like 2.5 seconds… So engrossed, in fact, that I had completely forgotten that I needed to get the most basic of all human necessities… Toilet Paper. I knew last week that I was running a wee bit low and had forgotten to pick some up before the weekend… and then Saturday came and went sans shopping for TP… and by the time Sunday came around, the situation was quite dire. When I realized that I had finally run out, I accepted the fact that I was going to miss a bit of my l’il program and off I went to the store.

6:30pm… First store? Closed. Second store? Closed. Stores that were actually open? No toilet paper. I went into the bakery and bought a little brownie so that a) I wouldn’t feel bad for using the washroom and b) wouldn’t feel bad for stealing a whole whack of toilet paper. I’m pretty sure God will smite me at some point and that the 2nd lowest level of hell is reserved solely for Toilet Paper Stealers such as myself and that I will spend the rest of eternity in said place with no access to toilet paper as a punishment… But for now, I'll just have to live with it.

So my POINT is that while moving to civilization will not bring me my hearts desires (well, it will, but not without some effort on my part), at least I will have access to TP 24 hours a day, 7 days a week…

Bea "thank god it's Monday, I mean it... thank you god... I'm going shopping today... I'll replace the TP if you want... don't smite me, pretty please..." Petty


Survey Says...


As I am always happy to earn extra cash without having to actually do anything for it, I’ve been doing these online survey thingies for a while… Ipsos-Reid and others like that. Rarely do you get paid for taking the survey… although I have had my fair share of 5$ cheques, let me tell you… but the idea that maybe if the universe sees fit I may just win the monthly draw that participation in said surveys makes one eligible for, is too good to pass up.

These surveys come in all shapes and sizes and subjects… cars, clothing brands, various other products. Hands down my most favorite-est would be the one I just did.

How many times in the past 2 months have you participated in a Market Research study for the following:

Oatmeal: Never Once Twice Don’t Know

Well, never having been given the pleasurable opportunity to participate in a Market Research study of oatmeal in my hitherto un-oatmeal-survey-filled life, let alone the last two months, of course I had to answer NEVER. However, words cannot express my excitement of being asked to FINALLY participate in one.

Unfortunately, our story has a most sad ending. For just as I had gotten into my oatmeal surveying frame of mind, I was informed by the oatmeal surveying people that their oatmeal surveying quota had already been filled. Blast.

If you hurry, you too just might be able to catch a fleeting glimpse of the survey to end all surveys:

Bea “strangely craving oatmeal” Petty

Movin' on Up...

... To the east side. Literally. By about half a block. In about 2 weeks, I will be moving to the most adorable little place, which will put me, literally, within a 3-minute walk to a movie theatre, my favorite grocery store, a Chapters, a LCBO, and many, many other purveyors of useful goods and services. Literally. I think this will be a nice change from being a 15 minute walk to the most ghetto mall in all of Toronto.

Yay, I won’t be unemployed and on the streets this summer. yay.