When is reality like a Deep Thought???

I found this while perusing the entertainment section on In case you have been living in a hole for the past few months (I have and even I know), this is a reference to The Apprentice... not my favorite but good for a few laughs... I mean, it's no Joe Millionaire...

"When was an apprentice ever made the president of a company right away? And how can 15 people be fired when they were never hired in the first place? Those are questions that may never be answered."

The person who wrote this has obviously NEVER watched a single episode of a reality TV show. Since when does any of it make sense?

That is all,



FINALLY.... I have some exciting news. I am making the leap to join civilization in the big city. Yeppers, I am moving to Toronto, Ontario, Canada, North America, Western Hemisphere, Earth, Inner Solar Sysytem, Solar System, Orion Arm, Milky Way Galaxy, Local Cluster... well, you get the picture.

Although I am sad that I won't be joining my comrades at the Fort this Summer there are way too many things that I want to accomplish in the next few years and I can't do it in Victoria. If being stuck on this rock for the past couple of months has been good for anything, it has certainly allowed me to do an uber amount of soul searching. I searched and searched and searched and came to the realization that what I was looking for was NOT in Victoria--never has been and never will be. Too bad, so sad. Is it in Toronto? Who knows, but I'm willing to give it a go. But there are many people I will miss a lot. Maybe you all will come to your senses one day and get the heck out. Just joking. While it is not the place for me, based on how big it is getting, it must be doing something right. This is the last complaint you will hear from me on this matter, but wait... I feel this deserves a little something more... a Victu perhaps?

Ode to the Garden City

Small, small, waaaaaay to small
But aren't the flowers lovely?
Can't wait to get out!

T'is not my best to be sure, but I can't be on EVERYDAY people! What do you expect from me? I'm not perfect you know!

Later Skaters,



Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing?

Oh Jack Handey, you slay me. Thanks Wee!


Howdy all!

Not anything super exciting to report today, except to inform everyone that I have embarked on a new reading. How gay did that sound????!!???? Pretty gay! Since I recently followed my own RRDJ in purchasing and beginning Underworld by Graham Hancock I have come to the conclusion that all the painting I have been doing has killed a lot of my brain cells--the book makes my brain hurt. As I now have the intelligence of a 12-15 year old, I have decided to embark on a literary adventure targeted to that age group. What I REALLY want is to read the next Harry Potter but seeing as how that is not possible I thought "hey, maybe there is something else out there like it". And there just might be. Artemis Fowl is billed as a 12 year old criminal mastermind, rich and genius. Judging by the large type and unthickness of the book itself, I should be done it a week at the most. I know, I know, I hear you all laughing, but it has something called a LEPrecon Unit and faeries. I can't resist them! Shut up!

And while we are on the subject of books, I am reminded of the fact that I have not come up with a RRDJ for some time. And like my most recent Honku, this newest RR was inspired by someone else. My friend Dee sent me an e-mail with a Deep Thought by Jack Handey. Freaking hilarious! This is the one she sent: If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute
thing to tell him is
"God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying,
another cute thing to
tell him is "Probably because of something you did." It reminded me that I used to have a bunch of the books and that I practically peed my pants every time I read them. My friend Wee can attest to that. So is my RRDJ Jack Handey's Deep Thoughts???? Um...yes, sort of. Actually, I am really going for humour books in general.

I wonder whatever happened to my Letters from a Nut by Ted L. Nancy. Not heard of Ted L. Nancy? Shame on you. He is probably the craziest person on the face of the earth... crazy in the good sense, not like Dubbya or Hitler.

Dear MS. Ramey:

Thank you very much for answering my letter concerning the haunted sponge I bought from a Ralphs store. Ralphs has been and always will be the only store I shop in for my food and sponge needs.

In your letter to me you said that I would be hearing from the supplier of this songe. I have not heard from them. And this sponge is bad.

Can someone from Ralphs come and get this sponge from me? This sponge is out to get me. I am afraid.

After I got your letter I went down to my basement and locked that sponge in a steel box and put a chain around that box. Then I wrapped that box in tape and put a shackle around that. Then I boarded up the basement door with over 1000 nails. Then I put a manacle on that door. Then I went upstairs to my room to get a good nights sleep.

At about 3 o'clock in the morning I woke up and looked down. That sponge was right by my bed. I am scared. Please help me.

Also, do you sell Brillo at your store?

When will I hear from the supplier? I need to know. Thank you for your reply.


Ted L. Nancy

Really, really funny stuff. I'll have to see if I can find the books and/or pick up the new ones. Anyway, the RRDJ is Humour books. We can all stand to laugh a little more! I think so anyway.



Happy start of Easter long weekend everyone!

I trust everyone is doing well!?! I, for one, am dismayed at the lack of comments left by the visitor(s) to my blog. As I very much do not want to believe that no one is reading it... I am going to think deep down in my wee little heart that the reason no one is commenting is that there is a lack of content to be commented on!!! I am thinking I lost you all with my laments about living in the land of Nod. Well "Mr. and Mss'sssss think you are so superior because you all lead more exciting lives than me"... that is all in the past. Welcome to the new and improved Be Petty, where all your dreams will come true... just joking... here's hoping you find things a bit more interesting from now on.

The first order of business today... poetry. You seen them, read them, loved them and screamed for more... yes, I write about my Honkus. You may have noticed that of late, I have not really posted any... the last being one that was actually inspired NOT by yours truly. Being stuck in the middle of nowhere means that I have not done a whole lot of driving recently. This leaves me thinking... does that mean that I must give up the haiku form of poetry forever more? Or at least until an event of the driving nature occurs? To that I say No, no no!!! For those who know me well, you will have noticed that I have many, many pet peeves. And you know what this means??? There is a whole wide world out there and enough fodder for honku-like poems to fill up the large cavity that is Dubbya's rear! Think of the possibilities folks! And if you have any suggestions re: pet peeves, let me know because chances are I share your annoyance. On that note,here goes my very first ........................................................... Politiku...... My apologies to KS and everyone else who has faith in our democratic system:

Politiku #1

Did I vote for that?
I wanted to keep my job.
Cabin in the woods...

That is all,