Cant' Talk... Working

Sorry folks,

I SO did not intend to have that post about me being such a loose woman up as the first post you would see for so long, but well... that nasty work stuff again. Although, in all fairness to me, I am no longer lying awake at night stressing out about taking charge of the Curling team when they arrive back in Canada on Monday... or that I must do my best to not bitch-slap Bertuzzi when I see him... and by bitch-slap, I mean jump his bones. Did I say that? Yes I did. No wait... I am lying awake at night thinking about jumping Bertuzzi... Never mind. Shut up.

Anyway, so work has been very, very busy but I have had tonight to look forward to. Girl and I and a couple of other friends will be attending a really cool and fancy Ball this evening, so in fact, I have been lying awake all week stressing out about what to wear to it... which makes it a nice change from the usual things that normally keep me up at night... not including my devil kitten who thinks that sticking his tongue up my nose every 2.5 seconds while I am trying to sleep is a totally appropriate way to show his affection. Yuck.

And tomorrow? Sleep, glorious sleep... until I have to get up and work that is. Are the Olympics over yet?



Chinese Fortune Cookie Says...


Today is "be frank and possibly offend some people" day on BP.

I had an interesting Saturday night. I had a couple of different functions that I had the option of attending, but was kind of in the mood to just chill out and watch the several discs of The Family Guy that I had rented and eat the delicious chinese food that I had left over from my birthday night. Long story short, my portly and bald Englishman from Wednesday was going to stay home and order chinese food as well... but as I already HAD lots of chinese food left over... Well, he came over.

Anyhoo... you know how things happen... a little bit of MSG... a little bit of wine... a little bit of Family Guy... a little bit of rum... throw in the artist from down the halls' blowout...

And now a little trip to the recent past... After Oreo died, I was in a weird place. With the roomie happily in relationshipland and usually at our place with him, I just kind of felt lost, unhappy, an intruder in my own home etc... And so I turned to the person who was offering me some attention. Ugh. But it was what it was and it was all good. Except for one thing that is...

So, this particular gentleman is a big guy... a tall guy... 6'4"-ish... and no, it was not the former PNB who has since completely disappeared from my life to never be heard from again... nope, it was the "I say IT professional but I really am a security guard at the zoo" guy from while back. Anyway, one expects a big guy, to be, well, big and not, say, the size of a child's thumb. But that's what it was and I am not afraid to admit that I was mildly disappointed. And as much as I would like to say that it ain't how big it is, it's how you use it, I cannot, for in addition to there not really being much there to speak of, he was also unable to "get it up" as they say. Too bad, but not so sad.

Cut to...

Saturday night. Again, it was what it was... and just because I am in no mood to seriously want to date anyone right now doesn't mean that I should deny myself the pleasures of the carnal variety right? I once went 4 years... in the prime of my life no less, without partaking and I swore that I would not let it happen again, so I am not. Plain and simple! I'm sorry if that shocks you.

Well, imagine my surprise when I discovered that my mini-Austin Powers was... um... let's just say that in some areas, he is not so mini. Oddly enough, it reminded me of that scene in Austin Powers with Mini-Me, where Mini-Me uses his you-know-what as a tripod... It was EXACTLY like that. Needless to say that it will be some time before I forget about/not feel the after effects of my chinese-food-Austin Powers inspired evening and morning... wink wink.

I guess my fortune cookie was right... I DO love chinese food. That is the last time I will doubt a random fortune contained in a baked good... for the rest of my life.



Groovy Baby, Yeah!!!

Ok, so maybe portly, bald Englishman didn't say those words exactly, but it really didn't matter because no matter what came out of his mouth he still sounded exactly like Austin Powers. It was brilliant.

But of course, you know that I got the "I had a really great time I'll give you call" hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye and we all know what that means. But in the end, the evening was worth it... despite my bloated gassiness (Bea... the picture of loveliness)... for I learned that I am the greatest pool player of all time. And by "all time" I mean that I am not as hopeless as I once thought. I actually won several games last night which is a marked improvement over just being lucky to sink one ball throughout the duration of the game, which is what had been the case on previous occasions.

Alright, I'm off to get my Olympics on... and have cake... for it is my B-day after all... and I deserve to have my cake... and eat it too!

Birthday Bea


Still Deluded

Hey All,

So I managed to not have any plans for V-Day save for watching a very fabulous episode of House and talking to my Mommy... and I have also managed to not have anything planned for tomorrow's B-Day... However, I did somehow manage to wrangle up plans for tonight in the form of a date from everybody's favorite fishing site.

I'm not super stoked...

a) because I ate lunchtime Olympic-watching pizza WAY too fast and it has since made me the gassiest person on the planet... Yes, I did just say that and I am not ashamed at all. Flatulence is a natural, albeit mildly disgusting thing but BP is all about honesty so there you have it,

b) because I could care a less about actually meeting anyone right now, and last but not least,

c) because he is a short, portly gentleman with not one single strand of hair on the top of his head. Think George Costanza sans specs. Oh, and did I mention that he is just now finalizing a divorce after having been separated for two years?

So why the heck am I even bothering? Um... Did I also mentioned that he is from England?

I think that's about all I need to say.



The Day That Shall Not Be Named

Oh goody!

Valentine's Day is here once again. I've never been a big fan of the day myself. Since I have been old enough to be into the opposite sex, I seem to have developed this curious knack for always being single on Valentine's Day. Of course, there have been a few exceptions, but for some inexplicable reason, I will either break up with the person I am with just days before VD, or I will meet a great fella just days after or, as has been the case since I moved to this fine city... just not meet anyone at all. It used to frustrate me to no end but thankfully that is no longer the case as being frustrated takes up too much darn mental energy and I have decided to do my utmost to not dwell on things that take up too much of my mental energy. Here are some other things that I choose not to dwell on at the particular moment:

1) Being single period. No offence to any men out there who may be reading this, but I just do not get what goes on inside your heads sometimes. So, I have chosen to not even bother. If you want to woo a girl with incessant flattery and speak to no end about how much you want to be with her, and then turn around and throw her to the curb when she breaks down and relents to your endless attempts at physical intimacy, you go right ahead. It is not for me to try and figure out what is going on in that pretty little head of yours. All I need to do is sit back and let Karma work it's magic (I feel the need to mention briefly that the above did not happen to me... for once... this time... although I am sure at some point in my dating life it has...). For now, single is where this girl is at and not looking to meet anyone anytime soon!

2) The fact that I will be one year older in 2 days. I used to love to celebrate my birthday but I found as I started to approach a certain age that I started enjoying it less and less. In fact, it started to depress me. As thoughts of getting older and not being where I thought I would be, both personally and professionally began to constantly swirl around my brain, I found that each passing year added to that anxiety. This year, however, I have done a 180. Instead of stressing out about it... trying to figure out what the next year will bring... and even more stressful, trying to come up with a fun way to celebrate... I have decided that I am just going to let this one go. To let it pass with very little fan fair and save myself for St. Paddy's Day.

3) The past month. January was a rather difficult month for me. I found that what I really needed after Oreo died was some time alone to grieve in peace and this I was not able to get. In some ways it embittered me and what should have been a great start to the new year became a total disaster. When the roommie lost someone close to her last year, she likened herself to a rage ball... and that is probably the best way to describe it.

But then I got Hugh and that seems to have helped with filling the hole that had been created when Oreo passed. I still feel a little lost but instead of dwelling on what did happen, I am going to focus on what will happen... focus on turing this year around and getting schtuff accomplished. The past month I have been fearful of getting back to my writing, for at the exact moment that Oreo was slipping away in the loft, I was in town at a cafe with the inspiration to finish of the story that I have been working on for a few years now. I will never know if the triumphant "Ah Ha!" moment that I experienced that day with regards to the ending that I was unable to come up with for the better part of the year occurred at the exact moment that she passed, but it would have been pretty damn close. The thought that the universe gave me something very great while taking away something very dear to me has been quite difficult to deal with. I have not been able to put pencil to paper since that time for fear that it might happen again. But in the spirit of not dwelling I will get back to it forthwith. It's a finished story for crying out loud. It is why I moved to this city in the first place after all.

4) Work. Ugh... I enjoy my job, and it truly is not a difficult job at all. A monkey could do it for the most part... granted it would have to be a highly gifted monkey... but a monkey nonetheless. Anyway, with too many restless and sleepless nights caused by thoughts of work in recent months, I really need to nip this in the bud. It's not like people will die if I don't respond to a request within 2.5 seconds... or that the fate of the world hangs on whether or not I get something edited in time. Take some deep breaths and just let it all go at night... Hello meditation, goodbye night time work anxiety!

I guess that's about it. Looking back to what I read, it does not really seem like all that much actually. And definitely seems quite manageable. It's amazing how putting something down in writing and just getting it all out can work wonders for the soul.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!


PS... speaking of rage balls, please follow the link below to what may or may not be my roommie's review of the Lord of the Rings musical that she may or may not have gone to see with her BF this past weekend. For those of you, like myself, who have entertained thoughts and or been really excited to go see this I suggest reading it from start to finish. If you still decide to go and see it, good luck... Ye be warned!


Today is Gripe day

Hi All,

I'm not in a particularly fowl mood today. Truth be told I had a pretty decent night's sleep and work has died down for the next little while so I am able to catch up and all that jazz... True, not much from Mr. Second Date although "I've been in training all this week" could qualify as an excuse of sorts... sigh... I suppose I must make do with that.

But that doesn't mean that I don't got nuttin to complain about... Not to worry, I won't start in on the annoying girl on the bus this morning who insisted on cracking her gum the whole way to the subway station, despite all the dirty looks that everyone around her were sending her way. I've said it before and I will say it again: Cracking gum is one of the most unattractive and annoying habits that one can do in public. If you want to do it in the privacy of your own home, then so be it, just don't be surprised when your boyfriend leaves you and your dog mauls you to death...

No, my gripe today has to do with those folks who have no common sense. In my world... and granted, my world is one where asking for help is the last resort in any circumstance... hence my back going out from when I dragged my new wrought iron king-size headboard up my 45 degree inclined stairs... This is especially the case when it comes to finding information on just about anything. A small, but rather tiresome part of my job is responding to e-mails that come from people just like you through our generic e-mail address. These questions can be just about anything and can be simple or quite in-depth... a wide range. Anyway, I came to this conclusion a few minutes ago...

99% of all the questions people ask can be answered by doing a 2.5 second Google search. And so my gripe is thus...

Are people really that inept that the first thing they think of to do is to write to some anonymous person who more than likely has better things to do with their time than to answer their easy as pie questions? True, I say this as a person who would rather die than ask someone for help, but come on... If you've both managed to find our website and have the capability to send an e-mail then you must have at least an iota of a clue as to how to "search" for "things" on the "internet".

Dear Person Whose Time I Am Going To Waste,

I am wondering if you could help me find information on *insert something at random here*?

Lazy Time Waster

Dear Lazy Time Waster,

I assume that your last slave died from over work so please find following a link to a site that I found after doing a search on *insert favorite search engine here*. For your information, it was the first hit that came up AND that was even AFTER I had completely mis-spelled it.

For future reference, please also find a link to *insert favorite search engine here* so that the next time you are looking for information you can do it on your own, without bothering highly important people such as myself. I can assure you that it is very rewarding when you accomplish something all on your own.

The Most Important Person In The Entire World

In a perfect world...


Excuses Excuses

Thanks for welcoming the little fella y'all. He really is the most adorable thing ever, albeit a total nightmare. It's been so long since I have had a kitten that I am not sure if things that he does are normal, or if he is just a total freak. I'm going with total freak because... it's just more fun.

Unfortunately for all of you, little Hugh is about all I will have to talk about over the next little while as I have decided to take a bit of a break from the world of single and looking. Why is that? I can hear you all asking. Just frustrated... once again... and I am not even blaming Sod this time... this one is pure me. It just thoroughly amazes me how I can go on two really great dates with someone, with us both having a really great time on both (or so it had appeared)... with a few stolen kisses thrown in along the way ... get my hopes up ... and then *poof* ... nothing.

Not even an "It's not you it's me" kiss off... since when did guys stop making excuses for themselves? It's so much more fun to hear things like "I really like you but...":

"I just broke up with someone a week ago and we were together for 5 years... and I realized that I am not quite over her... sorry..."

"I'm sorry, you just don't give me butterflies... I like you enough to still want to sleep with you though, I just don't actually want to put in any sort of effort... and only as long as I can keep you as my dirty little secret... and only when I feel like it..."

"I did a lot of thinking about my future and I realized that you weren't in it..."

"I have 5 other women that I am meeting this week. I'll let you know if none of them work out..."

"You remind me too much of a girl I knew in high school and HATED..."

"I can't see you anymore because I took a job in Australia..."

"And I know we have been dating for 3 months, but I can't see you anymore because I don't want to get 'involved'..."

"I can't go out with you anymore because I have to go into rehab for my gambling addiction..."

"I can't see you anymore because I find your intelligence and keen wit immasculating..."

"I can't see you anymore because my girlfriend is upstairs..."


I'm a good person... at least my Mommy thinks so.