Today is "be frank and possibly offend some people" day on BP.
I had an interesting Saturday night. I had a couple of different functions that I had the option of attending, but was kind of in the mood to just chill out and watch the several discs of The Family Guy that I had rented and eat the delicious chinese food that I had left over from my birthday night. Long story short, my portly and bald Englishman from Wednesday was going to stay home and order chinese food as well... but as I already HAD lots of chinese food left over... Well, he came over.
Anyhoo... you know how things happen... a little bit of MSG... a little bit of wine... a little bit of Family Guy... a little bit of rum... throw in the artist from down the halls' blowout...
And now a little trip to the recent past... After Oreo died, I was in a weird place. With the roomie happily in relationshipland and usually at our place with him, I just kind of felt lost, unhappy, an intruder in my own home etc... And so I turned to the person who was offering me some attention. Ugh. But it was what it was and it was all good. Except for one thing that is...
So, this particular gentleman is a big guy... a tall guy... 6'4"-ish... and no, it was not the former PNB who has since completely disappeared from my life to never be heard from again... nope, it was the "I say IT professional but I really am a security guard at the zoo" guy from while back. Anyway, one expects a big guy, to be, well, big and not, say, the size of a child's thumb. But that's what it was and I am not afraid to admit that I was mildly disappointed. And as much as I would like to say that it ain't how big it is, it's how you use it, I cannot, for in addition to there not really being much there to speak of, he was also unable to "get it up" as they say. Too bad, but not so sad.
Saturday night. Again, it was what it was... and just because I am in no mood to seriously want to date anyone right now doesn't mean that I should deny myself the pleasures of the carnal variety right? I once went 4 years... in the prime of my life no less, without partaking and I swore that I would not let it happen again, so I am not. Plain and simple! I'm sorry if that shocks you.
Well, imagine my surprise when I discovered that my mini-Austin Powers was... um... let's just say that in some areas, he is not so mini. Oddly enough, it reminded me of that scene in Austin Powers with Mini-Me, where Mini-Me uses his you-know-what as a tripod... It was EXACTLY like that. Needless to say that it will be some time before I forget about/not feel the after effects of my chinese-food-Austin Powers inspired evening and morning... wink wink.
I guess my fortune cookie was right... I DO love chinese food. That is the last time I will doubt a random fortune contained in a baked good... for the rest of my life.