Daily Oreo Update and Other Stuff

So ends a very odd work week.

Looks like kitty will be able to come home tomorrow for the weekend. We'll see how she does not under the vet's supervision. Apparently he is impressed by her regaining some mobility in her back legs but isn't sure if she will progress any more than she already has. I say, if she has already defied the odds, she must be one strong cat. I'm hopeful. That's the end of the Oreo update for today...

On to the Speed Dating update (which sounds oddly like"allow myself to introduce... myself"...). It is now official. I suck. The deadline came and went and not one single match came back for me and although I am not surprised (nor am I even remotely offended), I do feel mildly (and by mildly, think like nano-particle small) humiliated... But I am very proud of the others who went who all had much better luck than I did. So, for next time... assuming that I a) decide to come out of the den that I shall now hibernate in until such a time that I may not suck and b) there is another 2 for 1 SD in a years' time... I will not sandwich myself between Celebrity Boyfriend Steal and Girl... Two tall and exceptionally adorable kick ass women.

If anyone is looking for me in the next little while, I will be at home... playing video games, writing letters to fictional characters and baking rice krispie squares...

And that reminds me... must try and return the Pee Pee pillow to Ikea... "It was lumpy when I took it out of the package..." all the while trying not to roll my eyes.

Bea "TGIF" Petty


Some Hopeful News

Yesterday I could not bear to put a picture of Oreo up, lest I hear shortly thereafter that she hadn't made it. Today I am decidedly more hopeful. Thanks to everyone for the good wishes and thoughts you sent. It seems to have done a world good.

So what's the status? Fairly good actually. While she still cannot really walk, she seems to have regained some movement in her back legs, and has eaten and done her business on her own... and she is as ornery as she ever is in a situation that does not want to be in. People who know Oreo know here well will laugh at what the vet said this morning... "She sure likes to complain." That she does Dr., that she does.

He also brought up the fact that she twitches from time to time and while he thought that was maybe a bi-product of what had just happened to her, I assured him that she has always had a little bit of a facial tic. The tic, coupled with the fact that she does actually swear (I kid you not, you can ask Molly, who has been at the receiving end of being called an F&*#$%^ B*&#$! on several occasions when Oreo hasn't gotten what she wants, namely a treat), the conclusion I have come to as of this morning is that my cat has Tourette's Syndrome. How lovely.

Anyway, she is not out of the woods yet but the vet is hopeful that she may be released by Saturday, maybe tomorrow if she progresses to the same degree today as she did yesterday.

Fingers Crossed.

Beatrice "a little more bounce in my step today" Petty


Some Sad News

I had every intention of writing today to inform everyone about how the Speed Dating Extravaganza that a few of us girls attended last night went.

It's funny how quickly things can change.

I woke up this morning (early thank goodness) to find the thing most precious to me lying nearly paralyzed on the floor. It turn out that my adorable Oreo, at some point in the night, suffered from what the Vet thinks was a cardiac embolism that sent a clot somewhere, which then caused paralysis in the lower half of her body... or something along those lines. Truth be told, I was half listening, and my ears only perked up when I heard the prognosis, which isn't good.

If she responds to treatment within the next 12 hours, she may live. If she does not, she will have to be put down. That's assuming of course, that that is the only issue. It's about a 50-50 chance he says.

Sorry to be a downer. I was really looking forward to today's posting and generously spelling out the Do's and Dont's of the silliness of Speed Dating... such as, don't go with 3 other friends when there are only 3 decent guys because it is inevitable that you will all have the same "yes" list and then it could just get awkward... or don't sit right after someone who works at the same place as you... or do make sure that you get an extra beer before the thing starts... or that 5 minutes can seem like an eternity or a blink of an eye...Things of that nature.

It's funny how quickly things can change.

Bea "a little less spring in my step today" Petty


Poetry for a Tuesday

Let's see if you can guess how my commute went this morning:

Ode to Transit
Leave for work early
Buses leave people behind
I think we should move

On a different note, perhaps tomorrow I will present my first ever SpeedDateKu as Girl and I and some of her peeps will be attending our first ever Speed Dating extravaganza. Although there is always the possibility, however slight, that one of us might actually meet someone interesting, I think the consensus is that it is the most ridiculous thing ever. The events this evening are scheduled to unfold thusly:

"The women will choose a table & the men will rotate tables every five minutes when the whistle is blown. You will indicate on your reply card after each date whether or not you would like to exchange contact information with that person by checking "yes" or "no."

It's just that easy... yes... or no...

I must admit that I have this fear that the numbers won't be even and that I will be sitting alone at my "table" for much of the event, forever being skipped over by the assortment of gentlemen in attendance. For this reason, I will bring a book or a deck of cards perhaps, to play solitaire. Maybe I'll head home and grab one of my new pillows and take a nap on my table... bring a stick so that the guy can poke me if/when he sits... or maybe someone will have a Gameboy or something I can borrow.

Stay tuned for all the juicy deets!

Beatrice "sometimes I don't know what the hell I am thinking" Petty


Recipe For Disaster

Beatrice + Egg Rolls + shot of tequila = Yikes x (Molly being woken out of a dead sleep + Molly cleaning the bathroom)

Thanks Molly!!!

IKEA... It's Good for What Ails You

With gift cards in hand, the roomie and I made the long trek to IKEA yesterday. We almost never made it. I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but there are some days when being on the road can be severely dangerous to one's health/life/sanity. I can't even count how many encounters of the close kind we had while driving. I am convinced that the only people who chose to leave the safety and comfort of their homes yesterday (the two of us excluded of course, because, while I do not always show the most amount of sense and can be quite non-sensical at times... Molly is ALWAYS on the ball) were the ones with the least amount of sense and regard for their own lives.

At any rate, we made it and the shopping began. I won't go into all the details about our time in IKEA, except to say that eating at IKEA rocks. Is there any other place on the planet where you can get a spaghetti and meatballs meal with garlic bread and non-stop pop for 4$s? I don't think so...

So what was on the shopping list? Bedding, bedding and more bedding. New pillows, sheets, pillowcases, duvet covers. It was super fabulous. My new pillow is divine and there is nothing sweeter than brand new sheets.

New Pillows, sheets, pillowcases, duvet cover = $150
Getting a good night's sleep in one's new pillows, sheets, pillowcases, duvet cover = priceless

Did I have a good night's sleep... finally... (we bout of insomnia at the mo')... um, not really... but at least I was cozy and comfy while tossing and turning. I feel good about tonight... fingers crossed!



Interactive Friday

Hello Everyone,

So as not to leave you in suspense, my date with GTTA went well. Really nice guy, lots in common etc... Jury is out as to whether there was chemisty. There was and there wasn't if you catch my drift... I'll see what the 8 Ball has to say... although so far, it has proven itself to be an untrustworthy little bugger...

So here's my next dilemma, which is not a dilemma per say... more that I need some reinforcement that I am not a horrible human being... Here's the sitch.

A while back, when I was still on Lalalalalife, I started chatting to a guy who I had dismissed as a "time waster" which was fine because, well, I've given up that particular battle. He smiled at me. He was older... like 40, which was OK... I'm not ageist, but I do prefer to date within my own age group if you know what I mean. Based on past experiences, 40 has the potential to be a tad too old for me, but I have an open mind so... Anyway, we started chatting. That was about a month ago and he has now finally gotten around to asking to meet up. Here is the story thus far, with todays illuminations listed in points 3 through 5:

1) He says he does some sort of marketing manager job thingy full time. He also has a part time sales job at an establishment that sells bed and bath accessories. A 40 year old man working in a bed and bath accessory store scares me. I don't know why. It just does. Don't judge me.

2) He stopped talking to me for about a week. I thought he had gone for good. When a person who talks to you everyday suddenly disappears for weeks at a time, it can mean one of several things. A) they forgot how to turn their computer on or B) that they decided to go on vacation at the last minute and did not mention it or C) that they have been out gallivanting around with people of the opposite sex. Assuming that people very rarely forget something as basic as turning their computer on and that most people are genuinely excited about vacations and do their best to rub everyone's noses in it... Anyway, this is neither here nor there, but it illustrates that I have not really been top of mind.

3) In addition to him perhaps losing the mental ability to turn on his computer, it turns out that he is also dyslexic and/or can't read period. Finally admitting to the fact after a month that you are not, in fact, 40 years old, but that you accidentally set the date wrong and are actually 44 years old seems a little farfetched. This is especially the case when you admittedly only date women 15+ years your junior.

4) Oh, and by the way, I know I did not mention that I have a teenage son, but I'm mentioning it now 'cause I thought you should know.

5) Sensing that perhaps I could be rattled by his additional number of years on the planet/ poor math/typing skills, coupled with having a teenage son, his next task was to convince me that he was good "BF" material. I am willing to believe this, and told him as much however... and this is proof positive that sometimes it is best to quit while you are continue on and attempt to further convince me of your BF material-ness by detailing that you date girls my age ALL the time and they are ALL fine with him being the age he is, and that they ALL agree that he IS good "BF" material just causes me to shake my head. Because if ALL these significantly younger girls have no problem with his age and they ALL agree that he IS good BF material...

So here's my quandary... Am I a bad person for not wanting to meet up with this fella?

There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas-- probably in Tennessee that says-- fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again.


Turning Over a New Leaf

It is the first day of Autumn today... hurray!!! Although, it would feel much more like my favorite season if it weren't 28 bazillion degrees out. It's been such a warm September that the leaves have no clue that they are supposed to be turning all pretty and orange. Stupid leaves...

Speaking of stupid... In my haste to assume that all guys have the potential to be jerks, it turns out that I should have given GTTA the benefit of the doubt and not been so quick to dismiss him. We are re-scheduled for this evening. Will it turn out OK? Who knows, but he is still keen to meet me despite the fact that he now knows about my flair for the dramatics. I can't help it if I am a black and white sort of person... grey is hard for me sometimes.

But I have to say that I am impressed at the patience that GTTA has shown towards me. Bea needs someone patient... very, very patient... What a great virtue. I will certainly do my best to follow the wise advice given to me by said GTTA yesterday, which was to chill out.

Yes, I need to chill out.



Why 3 Strikes?

When you can declare someone out in 2?

After the second "I'm really sorry I wasn't around this weekend so we could hook up/I have to rush off to Burlington tonight so I'll have to postpone (who the hell EVER has to "rush off" to Burlington at the last minute... seriously) I would like to strike (no pun intended) any mention of the Gay-Travel Travel Agent from the record if I may.

I would really like to know if there are actually any guys out there who:

a) are not Time Wasters
b) say they want to date and meet someone great but who are NOT quote too busy unquote to actually date and meet someone great (this excuse is bullkaka, but this is neither time nor the place for that discussion).
c) can spell
d) can handle a person as amazing as I am... that's right, I'm smrt, funny, not wall-eyed, I'm a damn good cook, I colour INSIDE the lines. True, my catwalk needs a little work, I hate shaving my legs in the winter and I am a little too obsessed with British culture for my own good, but I give good foot massages AND well... other things that cannot be discussed in good society.



Shocking News

Been a while, I know. I was trying to put off the inevitable for as long as possible so that you all might think that I was actually cool.

I am not.

Re: the film fest bash from last Thursday. Regardless of whether it may or may not have been an actual party put on by the movie, or whether or not it was a shameless publicity stunt pulled by the club, the fact remains that the roomie and I were not cool enough to have gotten in. It needs not be said that Girl and her good friend, Celebrity Boyfriend Stealer were cool enough to get in.

Actually, truth be told, I was more than happy to have not gotten in (although at the time I was most displeased) as I was able to have a much more productive Friday than otherwise predicted. Hurray! And all was not lost as I now have a kick-ass date outfit... which I may wear on Wednesday's September filling quota date with a Gay Travel Agent.

OK, he's not gay (or so he insists, but it wouldn't be the first time the old girl has been has been hoodwinked by a fella)... but he does own a travel agency specializing in gay-friendly travel... or would that make him a Gay-Travel Travel Agent... I guess I could just call him a Travel Agent... not nearly as much fun though. Stay tuned for news on that front...



Toronto International Film Festival: Days 7 and 8

Lucky for all of you, Beatrice does not pay heed to legal injunctions delivered via blog comment from judges on American trash TV... it'll take much more than that to scare this old girl.

That being said, there has not been much news on the Film Fest front for the past two days so visiting celebs have been safe... What can I say... Good TV takes priority over gallivanting around Yorkville in search of the beautiful and famous... I'm not a very good stalker am I? Anyhoo, with Rockstar and Dance shows behind me for this week, I am free to pick up where I left off. And then some.

Although I am still reeling from the fact that one of Girl's friends... I'll call her "Celebrity Boyfriend Stealer" or CBS for short... attended a soiree last night with none other than one of Bea's favorites-- the mostest adorablest Mr. Gerard Butler... and then taunted me with the pictures... evil... ahem... but that is neither here nor there...

What was I saying?

Right... As I was so excited for CBS and the fact that she got to meet the person that the roomie and I have as our wallpaper on the computer at home... I thought that it would be fun to meet some new friends too. As such, some of the peeps will be making our way to a Film shindig this evening at one of the Festival hotspots. And I won't even be stalking as I am pretty sure that when you are on the guest list you can't be considered a stalker. Of course, it is entirely possible that Ray Liotta will not feel the same way as I follow him around throughout the evening asking him such questions as:

Were you really eating a brain in that movie Hannibal?

Did you know that I make you kick the crap out of hookers whenever I play Grand Theft Auto: Vice City?

You know, the usual questions one asks when one attends these events. Stay tuned for the details...

Bea... gettin' my Fest on... Petty


Toronto International Film Festival: Day 6

Actually, these events happened yesterday on Day 5 and while they are decidedly unspectacular, I feel it is my duty to post them nonetheless.

Whilst discussing what we (Girl and I) would do if we came face to face with any one of the bazillion celebs in town, we passed Scott Thompson formerly of Kids in the Hall. He walked by, unaccosted by both of us. I think I knew right then and there that I would not have the guts to actually go up to someone... I mean, if I cannot bother a not uber well known Canadian celeb then what chance do I have of stopping someone known and beloved around the globe. Had I had a little bit of liquid courage in me??? Well, that would be one thing.

Note to self. Start drinking at 3pm so I can be nice and toasted when I get off work at 5pm.

Cut to.... the Four Seasons, where it has been estimated that 75% of all the patrons are there for the Festival. Can anyone guess how hard it is to blend in with a bunch of people who all take themselves way too seriously when you are wearing a backpack? It's pretty difficult. Now, can anyone guess how difficult it would have been to snap a photo of Woody Harrelson while loitering in the lobby after having just articulated to the doorman that you were not waiting in the lobby for the sole purpose of hoping to catch a glimpse of someone decidedly more glamorous than oneself, but were in fact waiting for a "friend" who was "staying" in the "hotel"? Add to that, the fact that in order to look less suspicious, I "pretended" to make a "phone call" to our "friend" who was "staying" in the "hotel"... and NO, Mr. Doorman, we do not know what floor our "friend" is "staying" on, thank you very much... Hello??? That is why we are waiting in the lobby??? I have no patience for stupidity...

You've won this round Woody Harrelson...

So, we left because we were about 2.5 seconds from getting asked to leave, and that would have just been extremely embarrassing (as opposed to telling this story to all of you... which, in my opinion, is only mildly/somewhat embarrassing) and walked around the side of the hotel where, lo and behold... Ethan Hawke emerged from the lobby whence we had just been standing. There are a few things that you should know about Ethan Hawke. One, he smokes. Two, he drinks Gatorade. Three, he is very short. He is also less pretentious than some other celebs, favouring instead to take a taxi than a limousine... but as that is not even as remotely interesting as the fact that he likes Gatorade...

Oh, and then I saw Rachel McAdams walking down the street.

The End of Day 5 of the TIFF. Day 6 update to come as soon as events unfold.



Toronto International Film Festival: Day 5

Some random thoughts:

Orlando Bloom is entirely too popular for his own good. Susan Sarandon looks great. Joe Wright, the director of Pride and Prejudice is both adorable and very funny. Cameron Crowe, director of Elizabethtown is neither adorable or funny. Liza Minelli is short. When the Taste of Toronto Food Festival is taking place right next to where you are waiting in line for 3 hours, suddenly, waiting in line for 3 hours does not seem so bad. Bono looks quite comfortable wandering the streets of Toronto without an entourage. Sometimes it is better to be the second to last person let in from the Rush line than to actually get tickets. Colin Firth is not the best Mr. Darcy ever. When you see a drunk girl on the street car at 1 am and they are hiccupping so badly that their entire body shakes, you know that it is only a matter of time before they yak. Ray Liotta is tall. Vincent Pastore from the Sopranos has a large head. Orlando Bloom can actually do more than wield a sword and kill pirates. When trying to get her attention, some people choose to scream "Donna" as opposed to "Ma"donna. Tall people should let short people go in front of them on the red carpet so that everyone can have a chance to see. Jedi Mind Tricks work when attempting to be among the last 10 people let in to see a movie. Keira Knightly is very, very thin.

For roomie's take on the movies themselves, head to her blog... she is a much better at that sort of thing than I am...

Stay tuned for updates from the TIFF... BP style!


As If Further Proof Was Needed...

The obligatory "self-taken" shot. Notice the lack of uniformity. I would also like to direct your attention to the serious lack of judgment used in the placement of bodies. Or so it would seem...

Of course it is plainly obvious that we had another person with us that night. As if the picture as is is not proof enough, we luckily have the technology to see what perhaps might be hidden to the naked eye.

Using his elfin powers of stealth and invisibility, the fourth member of our little group was able to party into the wee hours of the night known only to us.

I wasn't going to publish this photo out of respect for the privacy of my new best friend, but Girl and Girl-part-deux were unrelenting. It was un-believable. Anyway, I checked with said new best friend and he said he was fine with me posting it, so here you go.

Beatrice... Slowly losing grip with reality and loving it... Petty


Why Alcohol and Digital Cameras Don't Mix...

Case in point. This picture was taken by Girl at a place downtown that I will refer to here as BH.**

**(I choose not to endorse this particular establishment... I'm sorry, but any place that does not have a line-up and makes you wait around for minutes on end as you wave your business card in hopes of attracting one of the bouncers who are completely preoccupied with letting in scantily clad women and/or groups of compulsively sniffing men with no obvious signs of a cold. Man, it was lucky that we work in a cool place which tends to impress people at the very mention of it. I shudder to think what would happen if you worked for, say a company that manufactured toilets or kitty litter or something along those lines... anyway...)

I was busy getting some bevvies at the time this was taken, but I gathered from the kerfuffle when I returned that it was a pretty important picture. What hindsight has to say about it... I guess I'll leave it for Girl to inform us.

It was good to get out on the town and I did have fun. More importantly, it served the purpose of reinforcing that I am just way to old for that sh*t. Seriously. Crowded bar, expensive drinks, crappy music... all things that I can live without surely. Now don't get me wrong, I love going out but I just don't enjoy being the Bar Star I once was. I am now far more of a "pub" girl, a "lounge" girl even.

And I am certainly more down with going to a place where even just the tiniest fraction of the men are dressed a little differently from one another. I swear, the first guy to wear a striped button-up shirt untucked with jeans should have copyrighted that look. I was tempted to go up to up and shake the hand of any one of the half-dozen or so guys in the whole place who were brave enough to go against the norm and boldly wear a t-shirt and jeans... or heaven forbid, non-striped button up shirt with jeans. I'm all for conforming to society, but if you are going out to a club to potentially meet people, does it not seem logical to try and stand out from the crowd? Just a little bit?

What I am trying to say is that a little bit of individuality never hurt anyone. Maybe a hat? A little flower on your collar perhaps? Face done up in KISS make-up? Doesn't have to be over the top you know, just something subtle is all I ask.

Remind me who you are again? The guy with the white shirt with blue stripes right? No? That's right, you were the guy with the white shirt and pink stripes... my mistake.

Bea... just want to be me... Petty


The Treachery of the 8-Ball

OK people, so here's the scoop. I've alluded to the fact that I started conversing with an English chappie a while back. It turned out that he was going to be in Toronto on business in early September. Yippee. He was a really nice guy. We had lots in common. He was funny, smart, successful, not to bad to look at... all the ingredients Bea looks for in her manwich, if you will.

So the getting to know each other from a distance began in earnest and after a while he began referring to me as darling, text messaging me telling me he couldn't wait to meet me etc... You know, the usual. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a teeny bit looking forward to him coming either. Romanian moonshine aside, Bea's love life has been a tad dry these days and I thought, hey... could be a fun week, no harm no foul... At any rate, I bought into the whole thing, hook line and sinker...

For a while anyway...

However, not being completely and utterly half-witted I did allow myself to recognize that something was amiss. Granted, it took me three weeks, but there you have it. It began the friday before last, a week before his arrival. Now, I hate being suspicious... I strive to trust people and the things that they tell me but if someone starts avoiding answering questions and/or changes the subject entirely, only someone who IS, in fact, completely and utterly half-witted would not raise their eyebrows. When he didn't know anything about his itinerary, I became open to the possibility that he was not coming. But as he continued to spout his "I don't take care of those details, my secretary does" mantra, I could almost believe it. Sufficed to say, due to the fact that I was not entirely sure he was coming at all, I became much less excited about him coming... at all.

I knew DEFINITELY that he wasn't coming two days prior to his alleged arrival. When you STILL don't know the details of your flight... "after lunch sometime" hardly qualifies as knowing the details and then start babbling about getting Visas yadda yadda yadda then Dude, just admit it... you aren't coming. Oh, and while you are at it, don't get mad at me when I question whether you are coming or not. Telling me that British people need a Visa when coming to Canada is just not true. I happened to have known this already (it's a long story, but I happen to know a fair bit about the immigration system in our country), but when it took me 2.5 seconds to confirm it on the internet... what I'm getting at is that someone who was actually flying to Canada in two days time would know that they do not need a Visa. So that is when I definitely knew he was not coming... Yes, I was a little disappointed, but it was not wholly unexpected as I had been somewhat thinking along that line myself for a while anyway.

And so, yesterday was the big day. Girl, bless her, was optimistic until the end... Something about me feeling silly when he calls when he arrives in Toronto... but I didn't even need to wait until then. Still open to the possibility that I had completely and utterly misread all my signs and that my instincts had been way off (as we all know, this happens to me frequently, so I am ALWAYS open to the possibility of this happening), I knew that the question would be answered once and for all the moment I turned my computer on at work. If he was online... he was obviously not on a flight bound for Canada. Sometimes I hate being right.

The following is the unedited msn conversation that followed, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent. I have to give him credit... he kept the charade up to the very last. He's a gifted little nut job, I'll give him that.

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
so... when you are not "away"... I'd love to pick your brain...

Big-Fat Lying Idiot says:
Big Fat Lying Idiot has left for the airport, I'm using his computer when he is away. He will kill me for this, but who are you?

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
no worries...

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
no one important

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
tell me, if he has you on his list you must be someone

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
tell me

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
tell me

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
don't make me call his mobile

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
... seriously... no one. i'll catch up with him later

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
too late I already called, he leaves late afternoon, you are a canadian chick who loves british guys

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
lucky for you, I'm american and we are way hotter than brits!

Jennifer... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
agreed americans have the potential to be very hot

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
I am way hotter than Big Fat Lying Idiot

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
do you have a picture you can send me? (** feel I need to mention here that this is where Molly told me to play along with his madness**)

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
I am sure I do

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
what sort of picture do you want?

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
are you looking for a hot yank you can spank?

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
... i dunno, you were the one who said you were hot...

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
not particularily...

Big Fat Lying Idiotsays:
whatever baby!

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
actually, i think i'll just stick with candian guys from no on thanks...

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
less apt to fuck with a gal's mind

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
and i guess being on Big Fat Lying Idiot's computer logs you on to Beautiful People automatically as well

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
might want to be careful on that front... he may not appreciate being set up by a yank while he is gone

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
what is beautiful people, I saw Suzie playing with that earlier?

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
a place where seemingly very shallow and insecure people go to meet other shallow and insecure people... i went on as a joke, but it turns out the joke was on me... so hysterically funny...

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
what was the joke?

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
oh you know... the same old story... guy meets girl... guy tells girl he's coming into town for business... guy spends month wooing said girl... guy turns out to be totally insane etc...

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
it was a very funny joke

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
is this you?

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
is the guy Big Fat Lying Idiot? what did he do to be insane,

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
are you really going to keep this up forever?

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
but he is on the way to canada as we speak

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
why don't you call him?

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
excellent... then maybe i'll see him while he is here

Beatrice... Have ye heard the legend of the fruit ... says:
are you kidding... long distance during the day

Big Fat Lying Idiot says:
toronto people are misers!!

And... cut. I felt that was the logical end to the conversation. A few things struck me as odd while it was taking place. Did you pick up on them? I'll give you a moment to go back and find them. Think you've figured them out? Ok... here they are.

1) If BFLI was going to "kill" this person who was said he was not BFLI for using his computer, he was sure quick to call BFLI and tell him as much.
2) In all of history, I do not think an american has EVER referred to him or herself as a "yank". As far as I know, only British people call Americans "yanks"... but I could be mistaken on this point.
3) If you are using your bosses' computer (which he will supposedly kill you for using anyway) and you are talking to someone on his msn list who "must be someone because he has you on his list"... I hardly think that it is appropriate to ask me 4 lines into the conversation whether or not I am "looking for a hot yank I can spank" or telling me that you are "way hotter than BFLI". Is it not possible that I might be a business aquaintance?

Phew... so there you have it. An interesting little adventure to say the least. Am I glad it happened? No. Does it restore my faith that there might actually be decent and normal guys out there? Again, no. Do I feel like and idiot? Yes. But what's done is done and it cannot be changed... but just once, I would like Sod to take the day off. Maybe if we all pitched in, we could collect enough money to send him on a vacation for a couple of weeks. What do you say?



Ponies and Butterflies

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Thank you for your time,