Tuesday

Lavarant

So, I'm still on Lavalife. Why? I have no idea, as I have not been contacted by anyone of interest for many a week (give or take a month or two) now. And neither have I actually seen anyone that I would like to contact. It works great, because I am too lazy right now to actually go out on a date and make any such effort.

Anyway... I'm still on. I still check almost everyday... It really is like crack cocaine on many levels...

Oh my god... did someone smile at me? no one smiled at me... my life is over... oh my god, someone just smiled at me... and he's cute... oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GAWD...

Completely retarded but there you have it. Even at the peak of my Lavappeal, I never really liked to spend oodles of time on the site. With that in mind, almost as soon as I went back on after the PNB-Gate, I changed my profile to say NO INSTANT MESSAGES. Nice and explicit. One of my profiles politely asks "no IMs pretty, pretty please". Again, explicit.

So this morning... I check after a few day absence. Lo and behold I have an Instant Message. An instant message from a guy saying "Hey, I really liked your profile". I find this interestingly interesting because, if he said he liked my profile then logic should dictate that he had actually read my profile. AND, if he had actually read my profile, he would have seen that I didn't want to be messaged. AND, just to make the whole thing even more exasperating, it was an IM from a guy who I had already been contacted by several months ago who just kind of *poof* disappeared. No tears shed on that front... it just reinforces, sigh, that I don't get guys.

And just when you thought this story was over, today I have had no less that 3 other IMs from lavaboys:

"Hi" (says Bob who has tried to contact me on half a dozen occasions with nary a response)

"Great Profile. Can I see your backstage" (says the 48 years old with NO pictures at all)

"How was your weekend?" (says the guy who mentions the word "fit" nad about 8, 000 times in his one paragraph profile)

Since when does NO not mean no? Where have all the guys who read gone? Anyone? Bueller? Echo...

Bea

5 comments:

theGuywiththeHat said...

Is lavalife a virtual meat-market bar/club? Sounds like it. Gets back to my old "why girls seem to like jerks" theory. It's mostly the guys who don't know what "considerate" means that are most likely to make an approach on their own. I don't think it's that they can't read. They just don't care. "Nice guys" are usually too shy to try on their own. Is there any such thing as lava-wingmen?

If you're a playa then, the meat market scene is the right place to be. I'd say be agressive. As the saying goes "It's better to be the hammer than the nail."

If you're not a go-through-men-like-so-many-chocolate-candies, type then, the meat market scene isn't the place to be. Where? I have no idea. And, I've been asked MANY times (as if I'd know where they keep all the good guys). The only place I've heard of that works is "church" but, that's just creepy.

Take consolation in the fact that you're obviously not alone. My recent viewing of the "Big Chill," I was reminded the most quoted lines in that movie: the one where Meg says "They're either married or gay. And, if they're not gay then, they've just broken up with the most wonderful woman in the world. Or, they've just broken up with a bitch who looks just like me."

Just some random thoughts...

Beatrice Petty said...

LOL...

I am so not a "playa"... at least not right now. When I first went on lava... which is and is not a meat market... hard to explain... anyway, when I first went on, I dated like a fool and did go through guys like so much chocolate. All that did was make me really exhausted through lack of sleep. And since Jeff, I've been dating sporadically, but haven't really felt the need to put in the effort. Hence why I don't even know why I am bothering with the whole online dating thing right now. In the past it was a source of amusement and got me out of the house... now I would prefer to stay in and do my own thing.

Re: guys who read but just don't care. Yikes. I think I might switch teams if that's the case. But seriously, if that's the case then I guess it's a good thing as I won't waste my time on someone who "doesn't care"... If I am too lazy to make an effort with even a nice guy right now, then a jerk is far out of my radar.

Ta

Girl said...

They're with the guys that IM you saying you both have so much in common when your profile clearly states how much you dislike camping and the winter and bald headedness and they play every winter sport in the book, camp every weekend and sport the 'Mr. Clean' look. One cannot use Lava and Reading in the same sentence.

Beatrice Petty said...

Haha...

That's funny!

Beatrice Petty said...

May 12th, 4:30pm

Another IM. This time from a guy in Chicago. He thinks I am HOT. He wants to come up from Chicago for a weekend of hot lovin'.

Thanks for coming out!