Tuesday

Now Who's the Big Girls Blouse?


Bohemian Me
Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
It is with great frustration that I make this posting. For 2 days I searched for a nice picture of a casual Bohemian/Gypsy/Hippy chic outfit... to no avail.

I was ORIGINALLY going to make this big announcement about my look for the upcoming warmer months--

(that it was going to be that funky bohemian/gypsy chic and go into detail about how I can now be proud of having grown up on a hippy island on the west coast and unleash the inner bohemian that I was always afraid of showing the world until now etc...)

Instead, this posting will now highlight the fact that after 2 days of searching for cool new outfits, I now have a pile of paperwork the size of the gaping exit wound that my mojo made when it hurled itself out of my body, on my desk. It's already fallen over once, and if someone had not happened by shortly thereafter, who knows what might have become of me.

On an unrelated matter, tonight I have a date... with the roomie... at nightcourt, so she can dispute a traffic ticket. It's the hottest date I have had in a while. Damn you Napolean Dynamite!!!

BP

9 comments:

mollyblogger said...

As you long as you don't look like the floozy in the picture when you come to the courthouse.... then we're okay.

Just kidding. You can look like the floozy.

Beatrice Petty said...

Maybe me looking a little whoreish might help your case? Did you think of that? The judge (male or female) could be so distracted by the less than moral-looking woman sitting in the front row...

"yeah, yeah, whatever, you're free to go"

Damn I'm good! I should start a "how to win in court" consulting business.

Anonymous said...

A woman walks into the store and purchases the following: 1 small box of detergent
1 Bar of soap
3 individual servings of yogurt
2 oranges
1 stick of women’s deodorant.
She then goes to the check out line.

Cashier: Oh, you must be single
Woman: You can tell that by what I bought?
Cashier: No, you're fucking ugly!!!

Beatrice Petty said...

Hey Mr/Ms. Anonymous... Glad to see that bitter and angry people read my blog.

Thank you very much for your kind suggestion that me being hoplessly single is due to an unfortunate outward appearance.

Could THAT be the X-Fatcor I have been missing? Could it be that Naploean Dynamite is NOT to blame for my mojolessness? Have I really been in denial all this time? Could it be the large, hairy growth on my cheek? Or the purple unihorn growing out of my forehead perhaps? Weird, I always thought that guys were into the sh*t.

Ponderous. Very ponderous indeed.

mollyblogger said...

People with that much inner rage really need to be put to sleep. The world would be so much better off.

Beatrice Petty said...

Not only am I an ugly freak, but apparently I seemed to have lost a few bain cells over the course of the night. X-Fatcor... sounds like a weightloss drug.

Cascadia said...

Holy crap - if anon knew you, he/she would know you are so far from ugly. Holy crap, you are one of the prettiest people I know. You have amazing eyes that totally sparkle. Just my two cents....

Beatrice Petty said...

Cass,

..sniff, sniff... I'm all teary. You're a doll!

Cascadia said...

Not a doll, just telling the truth!