The Doctor Is In

the doctor is in

Just off the cyber-presses folks... I was requested to post this... to see what my peeps had to say on the matter:

" i've got a "situation", lol, here. i think i told you, every morning i see this girl who i think is beautiful at the gym. i also talked to her about a month ago on i emailed her asking her if she knew who i was, she said yes, she knew me from the gym, but she was just starting to date a guy seriously who she had been with off an on for like 6 months or something. she's not on match anymore, but she stares at me at the gym all the time. today i was on the stepper and she was a few over from me, and she just kept looking over at me. finally i kind of glared at her, we made eye contact, but she just kind of looked at me with this blank look on her face. then she came and did situps right beside me. i just want to say to her, you had your chance girl. i dont know if she's single now or not, and b/c i talked to her on match i feel awkward seeing her. i don't know what to do, what to say. help, lol!!!"

A little background... this is a guy... a friend of a friend. I have seen a picture of him... granted he was on a webcam wearing a wifebeater, but I won't hold it against him. Anyway, he was pretty cute, but he is also kind of shy.

And seeing how... in the words of my former-PNB... I am so very fond of having opinions about things... I would like to give my two cents on his pickle of a predicament.

Dear Mr. Morning Gym Guy...

You should ABSOLUTELY talk to her... a little "Hey. So and so right? Remember me? We met yaddayaddayadda?". Girls really like it when guys talk to them in real life situations... especially cute guys. If you are shy, all the better. Girls can sense when a guy is shy and we (at least I) find it very attractive when they have enough confidence to strike up a conversation. It doesn't matter if we are single or not... we still like it when cute boys talk to us.

Assume that she is still dating her fella... bonus if she isn't, but at least that way you won't be totally bummed if the first thing out of her mouth is "I have a boyfriend"... which is possible if she is a total b*tch... in which case, now you know and you don't have to waste any more of your valuable workout time thinking of her. But based on what you wrote, it sounds like she is hoping that you make the first move. Some girls are old fashionned that way. Of course, if I always waited for a guy to strike up a conversation with me, I'd be waiting until the cows came home.

Girls don't stare at guys we are not interested in (unless there is an inappropriate use of spandex involved... you're not wearing spandex shorts at the gym are you???) and we certainly do not sidle up to do sit-ups next to a boy after having stared at him from afar if we don't find attractive in some way.

In short, you got nothing to lose... except perhaps, for a momentary loss of ego... which will always come back. And if it doesn't turn out in your favour, to quote my favorite "Office-ism"...



PS. Let us know how it turns out!


mollyblogger said...

Okay, I have to completely disagree... I realize that I may be unlike most girls who go to the gym to wear minimal amounts of clothing and pretend to work out, whilst gossiping and flirting with everyone and anyone. I go to the gym to work out. I go to sweat. I am genuinely HORRIFIED when guys strike up conversations with me at the gym because come on... I'm in my sweats, my hair's a disaster and my face is the colour of ketchup. No thanks.

Maybe this chicka's not ignoring him, just focusing on her workout and want to keep her social life online? Maybe she's just as shy as he is. I don't know... but either way. The gym is NOT the ideal place for making a first move.

Tell him to try his luck with her in other places. She'll probably be much more responsive... and reassure him that it's probably JUST as awkward for her to have someone glaring at her while she's trying to get her work on. Tell him to ease up on the glaring. That's a biggie.

Beatrice Petty said...

I muchly disagree with the roomie...

It is my gym going experience (not the ymca or all girls' gym going experience that is) that there is a large segment of the population who DO go to the gym for the purpose of meeting people...

Um... have you forgotten about Fitness World? People dressed up more to go workout at that place than I do when I go out to a nightclub for crying out loud.

Besides... are you going to tell me, that if you were at the Y, looking all stinky and gross and a cute boy came up and started talking to you, that you wouldn't come home and be all "OMG, a totally cute boy just came up and started talking to me... and... did I say he was cute?"

I think that if a guy can still think that a girl is beautiful when she is dripping with sweat... Well, that must be love... or something kind of like that.

theGuywiththeHat said...

I could throw a total different spin on it. What if the on-again-off-again isn't exactly ON like she thought (hoped for)? What if she noticed the serious-relationship-guy checking out some other really hot girl? I bet she could use a good dose of viatamin F, Flirting, especially from a cute boy.

He should talk to her. I don't mean start off with a pick-up line. Just a "Hello" and some idle chit-chaty comment and see what happens. He should definitely NOT glare at her. It looks bad not only to her but anyone else that sees that.

If she's a total be-yatch then, he can at least have the closure of "Thank GAWD I didn't go out with her."

If she's nice and not dating then, maybe. If not, he could develop a good friendship. All girls have at least one cute friend, cousin, brother's wife's sister, co-worker, ... If she's a really nice person and a really good friend then, she'll try to hook him up. Or, at least come over and water the plants while he's out of town. Or, maybe be there to give him advice like "Don't let her know that I told you this but, I overheard that really cute blond/brunette/red head talking in the locker room and, she thinks you are REALLY hot."

Beatrice Petty said...

GWTH: You and your girl "friends"... don't any of them try to set YOU up?

theGuywiththeHat said...

Yes they do. My girl "friend" K was the BEST wingman I've ever seen! I'd never get away with a line like "You don't know me but, I think you're really hot. And, I'd like to get to know you." But, she could say "You don't know me but, I've got this cute friend that thinks you are really hot and, he'd like to meet you." They'd ask who. She'd point me out. They'd say "Tell him my name is <fill in name here> and that he has to do the rest...." But, she and I recently tried to date. It didn't work out. We are still great friends but, that made things "weird". It will take a while to get back to "normal."

My friend T-dog (who is a girl and is not a "dog" at all) sees me as some potential therapist/boyfriend. She picks up "stray" people all the time and takes them under her wing. One of her techniques is to intro girls to me to see if I can "fix" them. That has yet to work out :)

Barbie wants me to meet a "nice girl" which is why she wants me to go to church with her :)

Shady wants to find someone who is perfect. She has too high of an opinion of me and finds major faults with all the potentials before she introduces them to me. She's moving to Edmonton in a few weeks. I don't think she'll manage to hook me up before she leaves but, you never know.

I've noticed that guys tend to be a lot like Shady. It's like hooking up their girl "friends" is like hooking up their BABY sister: the boy that is "good enough" for them hasn't been born yet and probably never will be. I'll admit that we tend to be overprotective.