Monday

Wingman-ternship Extended!

Just picked up my ticket to Mixture, a happenin' singles event next Wednesday night at Holt Renfrew. For those of you unfamiliar with Holt Renfrew, let me 'splain to you what it is all about.

If you make less than 500,000$ a year, you will not be able to afford most things sold there. Chances are, you will not be able to afford the things on sale for half price. My one experience at HR was going there with a friend a few months ago. She had a 50$ gift card and hoped to pick up a pair of gloves. She came out empty handed. Why? Because there was not a single pair of gloves to be had under 50$. I, of course, gravitated to the 50% off bin in the aisle where I my eye caught this very pretty little green sequined scarf. "Ooh, half off", I thought to myself. Um... yeah... half off at 450$ is not really my idea of a freaking bargain. I promptly dropped said item lest my sweaty fingers stain the fabric and I was obliged to purchase it. That day, I discovered a whole other world. A world where people have so much money that they can afford to purchase a little flimsy scarf for 900$. A scarf that 3 months later, is now decidedly out of fashion.

Back to the event. Despite being asexual at the moment and thus having no desire to meet a boy, which works well with the mojolessness as I fly under the radar of the opposite sex anyway, I decided to play wingman to a friend of mine. If I was really truly desirous of meeting my soul mate at this particular time, I would never, in a million years, attend this function. For a few reasons.

1) I am skeptical of any guy who would actually go to a singles mixer in the cosmetics department of one of the world's most expensive department stores.
2) The boys who will attend this event will be full on Metrosexual. Of that I am certain. With the exception of my token metro BF Orlando, I am not really keen on men who are prettier than me.
3) I am afraid if I touch something and it breaks, that I will have to take out a loan just to pay for it. Heaven forbid if I break it and it is full price.

Anyway, I am pretty excited. It should be a fun study of human sexuality. My ticket also gets me 15$ off a minimum purchase of 50$ in the cosmetic department. I'm hoping that there is some nail polish on sale. For 50$, that nail polish better be some fanfreakingtastically long lasting nail polish.

Oh, did I mention that there is free booze?

TeeHee

6 comments:

mollyblogger said...

I had a look and just HAVE to pass... although I agree it would make for a hell of a story and probably a good laugh after the fact, I (like yourself) am not a fan of boys who hang out in the cosmetic department of ANY store, much less a f*ing expensive one like Holt Renfrew. Unless they're drag queens. I LOVE drag queens. All attitude and no accountability, what's not to love? But no, I wouldn't date a drag queen either. Unless he was hetero, and hot, and had a really big... um... anyway.

Where were we?

Beatrice Petty said...

Can you be a hetero drag queen? Apologies for my ignorance in this matter.

Cascadia said...

I love Holt Renfrew! But, like you, only to look. It is quite the experience! I am sure you will have fun at your shindig.....how can you go wrong with free booze...

Capitaine said...

Well, I just learned there were such things as $900 scarves. How insane! That world is so far from mine. In the last year, the only new clothes I bought were from MEC. The rest came from Value Village (or Le village des valeurs, as it’s called here), and my good friend Bea. I love the clothes you gave me last year. You rock!!! I’m wearing your jeans skirt today for the first time this spring. I love it! Yep, you heard me, I love wearing skirts. I guess people do change!

Have fun at the single party! Try not to break anything!

mollyblogger said...

Sure you can be a hetero drag queen. Just because I've never met one, doesn't mean they don't exist.

Beatrice Petty said...

Welcome to the dark side C.

Now if only Molly would come over... she looks dead sexy in skirts ;)