Tuesday

Sunshine, Stolen...

I won't go into the details about last night as the roomie summed it up quite nicely, but I will say that already my super fun week is turning out be be super-er and fun-er that I had originally thought. For those not in the know of Canada's music scene (and NO, that was not a pun, thank you very much), we were fortunate enough to have seen one cool dude in concert last night, up close and intimate. Moka Only, formerly of Swollen Members and LEN, performed an impromptu warm up for the soon to be happening Canada wide tour of his new album. It was neato mosquito. Just one of the many interesting that happen in the Big Smoke when you know the right people.

And now back to our regular programming...

And by regular programming, I mean boys. I am seriously beginning to wonder whether all boys have become seriously lacking in the brains department of late... of course you know I am referring to everyone's favorite online dating site. Why I am still on it??? I must be a glutton for punishment. At any rate, if any guy happens to stumble across this site and said guy just happens to be in datingsville... here are some tips that you might find handy.

1) Do NOT start off an instant message by saying "nice pussy"... does not make a favorable first impression... fyi.
2) In addition, if a girl unequivocally states that she hates instant messages and to please, pretty please DO NOT contact her by this means... try NOT sending her an instant message. Again, first impressions... I personally, will assume that you cannot read. Call me picky, but being able to read is an important quality I look for in any PNB (potential new boyfriend).
3) If you do not live even remotely close, ie... if you live on the other side of the country/ a completely different country, please do not bother. You might buy into the whole "love knows no borders" bull crap, but I do not. If I can't hop on the TTC to meet you, then you live too far! Besides, I can hardly believe that there is not one single cute girl who lives in NY et al.
4) So, you actually read my profile and sent me an email instead of an IM and I grudgingly added you to my msn because, why the hell not... Please try to NOT get me mixed me with the dozen or so other girls that you are also talking to ( I do NOT work in finance dammit!). Apologizing by saying that you were probably "really drunk" at the time is not a very good excuse. And if the time that we spoke was in fact 10 o'clock in the morning, the "really drunk" excuse is so much more than just an excuse... that's called alcoholism Dude. Yikes.
5) And finally... if you attempted to contact someone once (ie. smiling etc..) and they have said thanks but no thanks, or blocked you entirely, deleting your profile and making a totally different one and then contacting them again is not going to endear them to you. True story... I had a dream last night that I had a stalker. This morning, when I logged on to LL, I had an IM (yep, an IM) from a guy whom I have blocked on several occasions in the past. I don't want to be mean, but I'm pretty sure I saw him in a zombie movie once, playing one of the zombies. Thanks but no thanks!

Beatrice "I just want to meet a normal guy at least once in my life" Petty

8 comments:

mollyblogger said...

Well Ms. Bea "I just want to meet a normal guy at least once in my life" Petty...

Aren't we being a tad too demanding here?

Lowered expectations, man. It's the only way to go.

Beatrice Petty said...

Lowered expectations I can deal with. After all, who can forget the wall-eyed Irishman???

But Zombie Stalkers??? I'm not that desperate.......

yet.

theGuywiththeHat said...

I just know that you are going to find a litterate, sober at 10am, keep which girl is which straight in his head, non-IM'ing guy in the TO area who will hold back on the "nice pussy" comment until he actually knows that for a fact :) Those are pretty high standards but, you are worth it.

mollyblogger said...

Well you are holding a cat in your profile picture.

Maybe he genuinely thought you had a - ahem- nice pussy(cat)?

LuckySpinster said...

hold out 'til you get what you want. life is too short to spend it on renovations.

lornStar said...

orrrrrrr... you can go out and meet people in real life... let's say... for example.. the way i do it!.. or get hooked up by friends of friends... or meet someone at the library.. or starbucks.. (not tim horton's though.. don't lower the bar that much).. or at a concert.. or a ballet... or a video store... now i am not saying i have NEVER picked up a girl off the net.. BUT the last time i did that was a long time ago.. and i dated her for FOUR MONTHS.. and that psycho ended up stalking me for FOUR YEARS!!! so .. never again for me... god.. what i am writing? i must be REALLY DRUNK!!

lornStar

p.s. nice pussy! :P

Beatrice Petty said...

Sorry Lornstar,

Knowing that guys like you await us single gals out in real life makes us much less enthusiastic about dating, period...

I repeat... just one normal guy. It's all I ask.

lornStar said...

you ain't gonna get much more normal than me... in real life anyways... and your other choices are A) become a lesbian or B) become ASEXUAL ... or become an asexual lesbian.. whatever you think may work best for you.
:)