Tuesday

Must Like Cats

My poor kitty.



She had the kitty blahs last week. She just did not have the spunk that she normally has. It made me sad. When humans are feeling blue or are under the weather, we are capable of expressing as much. We can let others know how best to make us feel better, whether that be making some chicken noodle soup, or giving us a back rub... although I will always take a back rub... no need to feel sick for that to happen.... in fact, back rubs are the primary motivation behind my desire to meet my "hitherto unknown and probably non-existent" soul mate.

Anyway, animals are obviously not capable of speech such that we can understand so Oreo was unable to say such things as "I really don't feel like water right now, but a nice little saucer of milk would be swell". To which I would reply "I'm sorry sweetie, but milk makes your bum stinky". To which she would reply using one of them many expletives that she is capable and so fond of uttering.

So instead, she just kind of moped. She didn't really eat, didn't really drink, she just kind of languished, almost as if she were in mourning for some lost love. Today, however, she is feeling 100% back to normal, and I truly believe that she was indeed, in mourning for a lost love. And I have a pretty good idea what that lost love was.

It was tuna.

The former-PNB was over on Sunday and remarked that we live in a crazy house. What, with the roomie's cat running around sounding like a French police car with it's siren blaring, and my cat swearing like a sailor and scratching the crap out of anything within reach... it does seem like that sometimes. Especially when you are the first one to come home after work. Being the first one home means that you are practically mauled by two very loud cats shouting the mantra "Tuna, Tuna, Tuna, Tuna, Tuna" over and over again until it drives you to insanity. And boy, you had better make darn sure you give them that there tuna before you have even taken your shoes off lest the cries go from "Tuna, Tuna, Tuna" to "TUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAA, TUUUUUUUUUUUNAAAAAAAA, TUUUUUNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAA". It's frightening. Think French police car and French ambulance both at the same time wailing tunatunatunatuna over and over again. Let me just say that I have been on the phone with more than one person upon arriving home who have made the remark "What the Hell is that?", or something along those lines. Oh, and just so that you think that the other loftmate doesn't get it just because they came home later, the tuna mongers have no qualms about trying to trick them into giving them more tuna. Don't worry, we rarely fall for it... little bastards.

What am I getting at? I don't know, got side tracked. No wait, I remember. Tuna. So, we ran out of tuna last week which was, coincidentally about the same time that Oreo's funk started. The roomie picked up some tuna yesterday which was, coincidentally about the same time that Oreo got out of her funk. Once coincidence... OK, I could buy that it was just that, a coincidence. But two? I think not... My cat lamented for a week because she didn't have tuna. It's the only explanation. I was worried for a week over tuna. As god as my witness, I shall never eat tuna again!

Beatrice "not a big deal because I never really ate tuna anyway" Petty

7 comments:

mollyblogger said...

It's like crack to them... I can't explain it.

I noticed that my little guy actually cuddled ALL night with me. Because I gave him Tuna.

Weirdos.

TheatreChick73 said...

Poor abused kitties...no tuna for a week. I just may have to call PETA or the SPCA or something on you guys!

Yeah right...

When I first got my Roxie, she refused to eat anything other than tuna. I fed it to her for a month, twice a day. It was a battle of wills to get her off that habit (for her own health) but I triumphed!

Gotta take the successes where ya can folks!

PS: Thanks for the linkage BTW!

former pnb said...

I am glad that you no longer have an inactive pussy...the whining was a little unbearable.

And oh, glad to hear about your cat too.

Beatrice Petty said...

Now, now, former-pnb, mind what you say lest people get the wrong idea and think that you have actually come to your senses and realized that I am all that and a bag of chips ;)

Re: Tuna is kitty crack... Tuna is the only human food that Spaz (Molly's cat) will eat so it makes sense that he would pout. My cat, on the other hand will anything she can get her paws on. I will never know the full list, but some of her faves include: eggs (in any form), mushrooms, milk, cereal, booze (specifically white russians), any meat, sauces, cheese, dairy products in general, cat treats (any variety), garbage off the floor, her own fur, bugs, plants etc...

Anonymous said...

Totally off topic, but bea, don't you wish every lavaguy were as honest as this...check out STABTHEDRAMA in the dating section. It is the perfect profile, very honest!

Beatrice Petty said...

Hey anon...

Folks like that fall under the "honest, but still only looking for nookie" category and therefore you have to be cool with that. There are more than a few on Lava, and not just in intimate encounters, who are looking for a third person to add to their little duet (I believe Girl has had that experience... not to mention girls who smile at other girls and boy/boys etc...) All the power to them. And yes, if only everyone was that honest!

PS. That wasn't you was it?

Kc said...

Funny about the tuna! In my house it is the chant of "LEASH LEASH LEASH!" Skeeter must be put on his leash and let out to the patio within .3 nanoseconds of someone walking in the door or he will punish you by throwing up on command, usually right where you will step in it.

What a great little fellow