Excuse Me...

Originally uploaded by Beatrice Petty.
But has anyone ever told you that you look like Hugh Laurie?

"Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" be damned. Last night I attended a "Six Degrees of Separation" singles party at this place called Laide. They have pornographic movies playing on the wall. Despite being mostly asexual these days, I attended the event for a few reason.

1) It got me out of the house.
2) There was a slight chance that something blogworthy MIGHT happen.
3) I promised a friend that I would meet her there and I had no way to get a hold of her to bail.

So I went, and I stumbled upon a whole little subculture that I knew existed-- after all, I have been on Lavalife for many months now-- but had never been thrust into to such a degree. A lounge filled with nothing but horny single people there for one purpose: To meet the man/woman of his/her dreams.

It was packed... filled mostly with metros and suits, but there was a pretty good mix of all sorts of people. Now, being a plank of wood at this particular moment, none of these fellas were drawing my attention in any way shape of form... except one that is... I'll get to that in a bit.

But my friend J was doing really well for herself... some Lawyer dude who reminded us of our "overloaded with personality" friend Timmy, but without the adorable freckles seemed very sweet on her. But man o' man, it was like pulling TEETH to get this girl to go talk to him after he went back to his friends...

Bea says "Just walk past him on the way to the bathroom. He's right on the way. You don't even have to say anything, just do a walk by. He'll stop YOU"

"But I don't have to go to the bathroom" replies J

"That's not the point J. I'll tell you what, if you walk past him "on your way to the bathroom" and he DOESN'T stop you to talk to you, I'll buy you a Kinky Kitty martini at 14 bucks a pop" urges Bea

"I just don't know. He knows where I am sitting, he should come over" J says, whining slightly.

"Guys are dense sometimes. If you are so sure that he won't talk to you, you should at least be excited at the free martini... C'mon J, you can doo eet!!!"

This exciting exchange went back and forth for the next half hour before she reluctantly agreed that she had nothing to lose. Long story short... I never did buy J that martini. Her and her corporate lawyer chatted for the rest of the night AND he walked us to the subway when we left. I can't even believe how much I rule!!!

As for me, well, planks of wood are hardly built for flirting... but I did go up to my guy just before I left and uttered the very words with which I began this posting.

"Excuse Me, but has anyone ever told you that you look like Hugh Laurie?" says Bea innocently

He wasn't impressed. Oops.

On to the next adventure...



LuckySpinster said...

You totally rule!

I'm excited my dating probabion ends April 29, that's this Friday! Funny, I didn't really miss dating. I missed kissing, but I didn't miss dating.

Cascadia said...

Wow - what a hoot! I think that is a great pick-up line, maybe I will use it. On a guy who looks like Hugh Laurie......or maybe a guy who doesn't...

Beatrice Petty said...


Use the "Hugh Laurie" line wisely. I found out last night the hard way that a large percentage of the population does NOT find Hugh Laurie attractive in any way.

The guy I talked to was actually friends with the guy that J met. While walking to the subway, I casually mentioned that this is what I had said to his friend, to which he replied:

"Isn't he that guy from that Dr. show who walks with a limp, is all wrinkled and is addicted to drugs?"

Um, yeah.

Cascadia said...

Hahahahahahha! A limp is kinda hot isn't it? My god, what is wrong with me today? I am fantisizing about 67 year old men and guys will limps. Yikes, all I can say is yikes.

mollyblogger said...

Bea, you ARE a fantastic wing-(wo)man... You can fly with me anytime. I only hope one day I can also lend a wing.

mollyblogger said...

p.s. as per our earlier discussion.... I would do "Gregory House" (Hugh Laurie's character on House but not Hugh Laurie. I'm really turned on by the character's deep and unrelenting cynicism. Damn it's hot.