Dear Mr (s). Anonymous (es)

Hi folks. You may or may not have deduced that the Mr. Anonymous from a while back was none other than the former-PNB himself. But don't worry, I so completely offended him with my honesty and forthrightedness, that the odds that he is actually still reading my blog are slimmer than this guy I saw at the AGO yesterday... It's true, I couldn't look away. He turned and were it not for the fact that he had the great mound of long bushy hair (which I think he keeps to add some weight to his body so he doesn't get blown away in the wind), he would have damned near disappeared. What I am trying to say is that, more so after this weekend than ever before, Bea is in dire need of advice, preferably from the male point of view, as my confusion vis a vis that gender has increased exponentially. Hence why I have the addressed to ALL the Mr. Anonymous's out there... This plea for help goes out to any and all men out there. Here goes:

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Dear Mr. Anonymous,

Once again, the Universe decided to remind Bea that happiness in love was just not in the cards for her right now. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sad, or bitter, or any other decidedly negative emotion right now, but I am frustrated. So VERY frustrated. I really and truly just DO NOT understand where men are coming from, I really don't.

A little background might be in order. Furtherto yesterday's posting regarding Garrett, it is now certain that it was not just the cold that was dampening his enthusiasm. It's true, I received the "I think you are super cool and I really, really like you but..." (actual words) email last night. I have to say that I was more than a little shocked. After all, this was the guy who had spent most of last week sending me horoscopes and other such emails and calls convincing me how MFEO we were. It freaked me out a little bit actually. But hey, he seemed cool, so I thought I would give it a shot. And so give it a shot I did, and I played it cool. I totally let him lead the way, only allowing myself to pick up on what he was putting out there. Despite my best intentions of not getting my hopes up or having any expectations, Garrett practically had us moving in together next week. What was a girl to do? Exit Garrett, stage left.

And what of Tim? At this point I really don't care. A terrible attitude, I know, but it's about all I am capable of right now.

So, Mr. Anonymous('s), I guess this is what I need to know is... What's the deal? Seriously. What am I doing wrong? Playing the "I'm really interested" card hasn't worked for me but neither have "I'm as cool as a cucumber" or "Let's see where this goes as friends". I'm running out of ideas here and am starting to take things personally. I've never thought myself to be completely unfortunate in the looks department, nor have I thought I was lacking in personality either. What is it that guys are looking for that I just don't have? Don't get me wrong, I have no regrets nor am I pining over the "what might have beens" from the last few months... It's just an honest to goodness complete lack of a clue about what goes on in the brains of men. Any and all advice/comments will be much appreciated.

Beatrice (so clueless) Petty
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OK, so that's over and done with. Tonight is the Oscars. I trust you will all be watching. I am looking forward to another week and am hopeful that the Universe might throw something good out at me. And if it doesn't? I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Cheerio,
Moi