Bea Swallows her Pride

Hi. Still reeling from the fact that there are actually people reading this little project O'Mine, I feel compelled to address a comment that was made on a posting a few days ago.

Dear Mr. Anonymous,

Thank you for your comments. It is always great to have a male perspective thrown into the mix. I do realize that this blog does tend to be very femalecentric. But hey, I am a girl, so that is not going to change anytime soon.

First off, let me say that you are 100% correct... told you that there would be some pride swallowing going on. My intention was never to come across as "the victim", because I really don't feel that way with the way things turned out. When writing of such things in the future I will choose my words a little better. The "accountability greatly helping in the success of a relationship" comment has me more confused though. Am I to be held accountable because someone decided on his own that he no longer wished to see if the relationship could be successful? I don't remember having had any say in the matter. But then again, Bea's short-term memory isn't what it used to be.

Re: Checking Lava mail vs. actually going on dates. Once again Mr. Anonymous, you are absolutely correct. I feel bad that it happened and I know mentionning that the "dates" were not dates per say but were "meeting up with potential people to hang out with in the city who knew BEFORE I met up with them that I wasn't interested in dating"... deep breath... in no way excuses that behaviour. Had I known that a certain someone wasn't checking his Lava every day so he could meet and go out with other people... perhaps I might have done things differently. Unfortunately, I assumed that the only possible explanation for someone doing this was because they WERE actively seeking other people to meet and date. And you know what they say when you assume something... That's right, I mad asses of us both. My mistake and I have received my comeupance in a big way.

And further to point #6 (and all the points actually) in the blog of contention... It was not my intention to crucify or even criticize the actions anyone in particular. Well, maybe the gangbang hot tub dude because he was a prick (his name is Mike fyi)... Anyway, as per a discussion that was had a while back, the checking of the Lavalife was never really a big deal to me... Honestly. Of course I didn't know for sure, but I suspected that the PNB wasn't seeing anyone else. And I didn't press him to go off, because I thought I was being a casual, cool, collected, patient (and dead sexy) PNG... not wanting to cut off something I saw to be a symbolic link to his old bachelor self. I realize that I did not articulate this in the entry, so Cascadia if you are reading... Only you know what your heart can and cannot handle. I was lucky enough to have met someone whom I trusted implicitely, who always came through when he said he would, and always treated me with great respect.

And so, Mr. Anonymous... if you are reading, thank you once again for your thoughts. I would just like to mention here that while things didn't work out as one had once hoped they would... I had a great time in the adventure nonetheless. I felt so contented and comfortable when we were together, and still do on a somewhat different level. You always made me feel very special and I thank you for that.

Beatrice "a little more humble" Petty


Anonymous said...

For you Beatrice, as well as your loyal fans...what I meant about accountability and it's relation to a successfull relationship is: In any relationship (all the highs and lows in everyday, ongoing moments), I feel that the best way to resolve any issues/arguments is to make an effort to "look in the mirror" and find out if there needs to be any self-correctiveness AS WELL AS working out the differences with your PNB/PNG. By taking the stance of "I'm Right, he's a Bastard" is not the way to an understanding relationship (at least that's how I see it).

Beatrice Petty said...

Thank You Mr. Anonymous.

Once again your insights have proved to be bang on. I agree completely and look forward being held accountable and "looking in the mirror" when I actually make it to the "understanding relationship" level. Until, I must muddle my way through the oh-so-close-but-no-cigar-how-could-I have-been-so-naive relationships that seem to come my way.

And for the record... I am about half right... and you are not a bastard.

:) Bea