Carrying on from the roomie's (formerly known as Mollyblogger) vow to go on one date a month... I filled my August quota by heading on a lunch date last Friday with the most boring guy alive...
It was weird. We had some food, and some drinks... and spent the goodly part of a couple of hours talking about me. How it happened, I do not know, but this guy never, ever seemed to want to talk about himself. It was one question about me after another and even when I would stop and say "And what about you? What is your favorite movie, book, cartoon, cheese, brand of shoe etc...", somehow he would skirt the question and start back at me. It was weird.
But it did get me thinking that sometimes a guy can never win. To be honest, what happened Friday had never happened to me before. The usual complaint that I have from a date is that they seemed to talk only of themselves. Take the "I literally" guy for example. The "I literally" guy literally never shut up about himself... and were I to have believed everything that he literally said that he literally did... well, let's just say that I am pretty sure that he never "literally" went to the moon, or "literally" has never not lived at home with his parents. What I do know is this. I "literally" barely got 2 words out the entire evening. Literally.
So, typically, one has the opposite problem as the one first mentioned. The date where the guy seems "literally" quite uninterested in anything about you. I've heard many girls say, on many occasions, something to effect that "he never really asked me anything about me blah blah blah..." or "he asked me questions but then related everything I said back to him". I like to call that the "This one time, at band camp..." scenario. Don't get me started about when the conversation turns to previous Lava-experiences. That's the death blow right there. You both might as well pack the evening in right there because it ain't gonna happen from there on in. But back to what I was originally talking about...
It's true. That is very typically the way a date goes. Very rarely do you get that balance where both parties are equally as interested in what the other person has to say. If I don't have to pretend that I am interested in what you are saying, but ACTUALLY am interested in what you are saying... Man, that shit's bananas... B A N A N A S. Literally. But alas... 99.999% of the time that doesn't happen.
But of the reverse... when the guy wants only to know about you, and you alone? Hmmm. Undecided. It could be good I suppose... if the guy actually asks you questions that you are remotely interested in answering. I'm not going to lie to you folks. Beatrice likes to talk. I can talk for hours and hours and hours... the sound of my voice is like the sweet, sweet whisperings of a Poplar tree, swaying gently in a warm spring breeze. Had Boring McYawn from Friday asked me questions that were interesting to answer, things might have been different. Sadly, it is my belief that asking me such things as "what kind of cat food is your cats' favorite" and "what do you think of the public transportation system in Toronto" are about as boring for you to hear as they are for me to tell.
So ladies and gents, I guess what I am trying to say is this. Be careful what you wish for.
PS. We should all congratulate Girl for being voted beautiful by the other beautiful people already deemed beautiful on BeautifulPeople.net. She is now officially a beautiful and card carrying member of BeautifulPeople.net. I am so happy for her... and by happy, of course, I mean jealous and bitter.