A Sliding Scale...
With yesterday's list of unsuccessful potential new relationships still fresh on my mind, I have now begun to think about what I am really and truly looking for in a partner. Sadly, this I still do not know, but with a few more names soon to be added to the list by the end of the week-- be they good or bad-- I have started to evaluate what might initially attract me to certain people in the first place.
With that in mind, I present to you Bea's Sliding Scale for Men. Of course it's all in fun. I'd like to think that I am slightly less persnickety in reality... perhaps not. Here it goes, in no particular order, with each entry a score out of ten-- 10 being "oh my god, I have NO CHOICE but to go out with this guy and 1 being "all thngs being equal, I'd rather stay home and clean the kitty litter":
1) Being British - 10. I know...I am crazy, but I've said it before and I'll say it again... slap an English accent on pretty much anybody, and I'm all over it.
2) Being Tall - 7-8. You'll have to have at least one other quality that I find attractive but being tall is a pretty good start. Sadly, being under say... 5'7"... you are going to go out of your way to impress me. I'm a horrible person.
3) Sense of humour - 10. I like to laugh, but it isn't all that easy to make me do so. There are only a few people in my life that can make me laugh on any given day. If you can engage me in a phone conversation that has me rolling around in hysterics... you might was well call the chapel right now!
4) A "Take Charge" attitude - 8. If you are dying to meet me... and you make that obvious... I'm impressed. even if I was hesitant to meet you at first. It's nice to feel wanted.
5) Being Educated - 6. I prefer a guy who has more education than me. In my experience, men who have just high school under their belt tend not to hold my interest in a conversation as well. And while there have been a few exceptions... my friend Doug, for example... I have found that a majority of fellas who haven't gone on to pursue higher education tend to be more closed minded and are just not as into the exploration of the mind as I would like. Of course, it doesn't necessarily follow that having a good education makes you more intelligent either... That's why it gets a 6. If you like Jeopardy... all the better. And yes, I find Ken Jennings very attractive!
6) Being passionate about something - 8. I'm not picky about what you are passionate about... except maybe if your passion is an severe and illogical case of homophobia... I just want you to have something. A 10 goes to the guy who is keen to introduce them to me.
7) Being interested about ME - 7. I don't expect everything to be all about me when I first meet someone... but it is really cool when a guy is just so excited to find out what makes me tick. As this is a journey that I myself am traveling on right now... anything that will cause me to examine this is always great. So while it isn't the all deciding factor when decided whether to meet someone... if it ends up happening... Kudos to the guy!
8) Physical Appearance - 7. Of course, physical appearance is very subjective so this is a very difficult one to judge. Quite frequently I've been not impressed with the way a guy looks upon first appearance but upon closer examination, his other great qualities come shining through. Other times, someone reminds me of someone famous that I fnd attactive. It's all very random. For example, I smiled at Jeff because the picture he had up reminded me of Mr. Big from Sex and the City. Of course, he looked absolutely nothing like that in person... but he other qualities that were attractive... see entrys #2, #3 and #5. Of course, I have been smiled at by some very attractive men only to read more about them and discover that their entire lives are devoted to attaining a level of physical perfection that would make Brad Pitt jealous. It's all about balance.
9) Being Successful - 1 or 10. Another hard one to answer. Not being at the pinnacle of financial and professional success (not yet anyway) myself, it seems rather unfair that this is a quality that I use to judge a potential partner. A part of me feels AWFUL that I do. Please let me qualify this, if I may. I would not describe myself as a materialistic person. I don't strive to make money so that I can buy my clothes in expensive stores, or purchase the most stylish car on the road... and I am not looking for that in someone else either. Success is more than just money... being happy in your job, regardless of what you pull down a year, is wonderful and very appealing. All things being equal, financial success is last thing I look at, but I do have a bottom line. I am not super impressed by a 40 year old guy who lives at home with his mother... Don't get me wrong... I don't expect you to own your own place, or even to not have a roomate... Altruistic as it may be... I just think there is something odd about a grown man living with his parents. A car isn't necessary... I don't have one so I don't expect you to either. And I don't expect you to spend your money on me like it's going out of style... that just makes me uncomfortable... I guess what I am trying to say is that on the right guy success can be very, very sexy!
10) The common interests we share - 5. Of course it's important, but I don't expect us to have every little thing in common. I am the person I am today because of the diversity if interests among my friends. That being said, there are a few things that I view to be fairly crucial in the realm of similarities. You don't have to own a cat... but you must be a cat person. A dog person is OK too, as long as there is also room for loving animals of the feline persuasion. I believe that there are fundamental differences between dog people and cat people... and I have met many a dog person who loathes cats... Why? I have no idea, but I could not possibly enter into any serious coupling with a person who thinks that my cat is the spawn of Satan. Of course I am allowed to think that way, but your are not! I think you get the picture. Of course, I am open to being introduced to new interests... within reason of course. Please see entry #6 re: homophobia.
So there you have it... reading back what I wrote, it would seem that my perfect mate is a Hugh Grant/Steven Hawking/Jim Carrey/Richard Branson hybrid... Am I being too picky? Of course, you do understand that having written this, the Universe is going to throw me the complete opposite: a 5'2" high school drop out who lives in his Mom's basement and makes his living as a dog catcher. But true love is true love and if this is the bone the Universe throws at me... I say bring it on!