Thursday

All the World's a Stage

Or so said some famous playwright dude a few hundred years ago. He must have been on the patio of the Madison when he made that observation. The former–PNB, the roomie, her AG and I had not been on the patio for 20 minutes before an interesting character started pounding on the bar to get everyone’s attention. Satisfied that he the attention of all, he embarked upon a path on which there would be no return. I will regale you with the details in a moment, but first, some observations of my own are in order.

Asking your girlfriend of 5 years to marry you in public requires a lot of courage (or stupidity depending on who you ask). If you are going to go out on a limb and publicly declare your love and devotion to your significant other, please keep the following in mind:

8 When proposing, please ensure that your sunglasses are off.

8 Try to have a ring. If you do not have one (ie. it’s a spur of the moment thing), do not go into detail about how you are too poor to afford a ring.

8 Wait until she has said yes before you get the waiter to take a picture of the happy newlyweds to be.

8 Try to find out beforehand whether your girlfriend has been sleeping with your best friend, who just happens to be sitting at the table with you.

Yikes.

So Dude went into this long spiel about being in love… blah, blah, blah, only to be told once he went down on one knee that his girlfriend of 5 years had been sleeping with the corn-braided fella sitting at the same table.

It was a scene right out of a movie. So much so that no one on the patio knew whether to take the whole incident seriously. One guy even went so far as to pipe in “She did you too?” while Dude was ranting about his girlfriend “doing” his friend. His reaction, which was decidedly angry and genuine, led me to believe that the whole thing was for real. As did the continuation of his ire as he was being escorted off the premises by another friend. The entire affair was over as fast as it started, but it left a good 30 people all asking the same question:

“Did that just happen?”

Oh yeah, and some other funny things happened too. Gotta love Wednesday nights at the Maddy!

Bea

10 comments:

Cascadia said...

Holy crap! Are you serious? Were these people sober? Wow, all I can say is wow!

wee said...

Hahaha - that's awesome!

lornStar said...

did you happen to listen in on how to contact this dirty scandulous girl in question?? :P

LuckySpinster said...

holy mother of god.

i am so jealous. i can't believe you saw that. see, i'd be taking notes, wanting to incorporate the scene into my next play.

omigodomigodomigodomigod.

Beatrice Petty said...

LMAO:

Lornstar... sorry dude, she's taken... by the corn-braided gentleman I referred to. And if that guy was her type, you wouldn't stand a chance. Besides, she was not remotely your type of twinkie.

LS: we were doing exactly that. With 3 writers as witness to the scene, we couldn't just let it go. It was brilliant!

former pnb said...

Some other key points...

It started out as an impromptu karaeoke with a "brown eyed girl" serenade, then asking for the attention from the patio (to which he already had). Then, the non-use of profanity, fist swinging and beer tossing led me to believe that this was not quite true to form. And lastty, after all this embarassment on the girl's part on how she has been "doing" this broke-ass long-haired hippie as well as his well-stocked, corn-rolled guy friend, and letting the entire patio in on her shenanigans...she continued to just stand there afterwards in the midst of gawking strangers while being somewhat comforted (you would think she would have bolted, wanting some "private time", after a public display like that).

But it was a joy to witness...

East Coast Alaskan Girl, Retired said...

i echo ls: holy mother of god.

my jaw is still on the floor and i think my eyebrows are permanently raised in a crazy arch.

wow.

looking forward to seeing it in a short story, novel, or play sometime soon!

theGuywiththeHat said...

When I read this entry, I thought to myself "That's wonderful. Bea is working on her writing again and, she's inventing some really creative stuff...." I'm still not sure whether to blieve it or not :)

You should propose doing a reality tv show based out of there. You could make big $'s for the idea.

Beatrice Petty said...

Why do I get the feeling that people think I made this up??? I swear to god, I didn't...

Actually, the thought of doing a reality show around this type of scenario did cross my mind. Every week a troupe of actors would go to a different place and create scenes... It would be interesting to see how far you could push the envelope. The funniest part of the night was seeing the reactions of the patons, us included.

Cascadia said...

You should! The funniest thing I have been to was a Xmas party where the serving staff were part of an improv group. I got yelled at for ogling my waitress's boyfriend. I didn't know what the hell was going on! It was great...