Fistly I need to apologize for Saturday.....I worked till 4 and when i
returned to my locker downstairs Much to my dismay My locker amongst others
had been broken into......Well ya see In my locker was my backpack the
contents included my cell my wallet, my ipod etc....So I was stuck...I had
no way of contacting you....I put your number in my cell phone and didnt
write it down....So I couldn't call....I was gonna just show up at your
place however I didnt want to seem creepy. I had to go tot he police
depatment to file a report as well as with the hospital security. so My day
wasn't a good one. Im glad to see however that your day turned out pretty
darn good!! Well If you still wish to chat with me which i hope you
do.....Get back to me

This was the guy I was supposed to have gone out with on Friday. Kind of a long story right now (we did meet on Friday but...) and I just hate doing shite on the computer on the weekend so I will fill y'all in tomorrow. I just found this to be too funny for words... Copied and pasted verbatim.

My favorite is the mispelling of "firstly" with "fistly".

"sigh... anyone normal out there? Anyone at all?" Petty

PS. The Gators won... That gives me $160 to put towards something uber fun... like shoes... or bills. Yay.


Cascadia said...

Is there anyone normal out there? No, no, I don't think there is. I think we are all just freaks....the trick is to find the freak that matches up with your inner freak and go from there. Doesn't make it anymore easy does it?

Anonymous said...

Fistly, beautiful double entendre! The bad grammar/spelling/lying was amazing. The only excuse I can think of was that he just got back from the Guinness Olympics.

mollyblogger said...

Okay, you have to believe me when I tell you this... NO LIE. I once went on a date who told me this EXACT same story, when he and I first started going out. He used it as an excuse as to why we couldn't hook up that day.

Maybe there's some kind of handbook out there for wankers, with pre-fabricated excuses to get out of any given situation, while still appearing sympathetic and worthwhile...

I mean, what are the odds? Not that you'd want to date this guy anyway... his lack of Mastery of capitalization leads One to believe that he may not Be the sharpest knife in The drawer.

Beatrice Petty said...

Anonymous... would you mind taking back that comment about Guinness?

To associate Guinness with a guy who lied about his height (I will call you "mini-idiot) as well as having two children from a marriage that he is still officially in, let alone the other weird stuff he did... is an insult to that great beer. Thank you very much.