Thursday

Whatever Happened To...

The former-PNB/ULH?

Remember him? Oh come on. Of course you do… from a while back??? We dated for a couple of months, then he broke up with me, popped back into my life last summer with a nice little friendship in the makings… and then he kissed me and BAM… never to be heard from again? Oh, I tried…tried to figure out what happened and never got any response. In fact, I tried as recently as a couple of weeks ago and got berated for being pessimistic that I wouldn’t hear back… and when I wrote back apologizing for thinking that he wouldn’t respond… I never heard back. Weird.

Anyway, I always wondered why he had just suddenly decided to cut me out of his life pretty much at the same time as I was starting to consider him to be quite a good friend in this town O’ Toronto… Was it a) because he kissed me after a few too many beers one night and got freaked out that I might have taken that as a sign that he was interested in me as more than a friend or b) hmmm, there isn’t a ‘b’… I’m pretty sure what happened was ‘a’… but now I KNOW there was a ‘b’.

My former-PNB cut off contact with me because he had bigger and better fish to fry. You see, unbeknownst to yours truly, he decided to quit his day job and become a famous TV personality. It’s true. Girl and I saw him last night. Actually Girl saw him and then called me and left a message something along the lines of

“Hey Bea, it’s me. Just calling to tell you that you should check out this show on the Blank Channel about these single girls and dating and ‘GASP’….”

Silence for about 10 seconds, which worried me because I thought something drastic had happened and then…

“OH MY GAWD… OH MY GAWD… I think that’s former-PNB… I’m freaking out… OH MY GAWD… CALL ME!!!!!” click.

Luckily for her there is more than one way to get a hold of Bea when she has forgotten to turn her phone on since going to the movies last Sunday (“hmmm, I wonder why nobody is calling me…”) so got a hold of me she did and lo and behold, it was indeed the former-PNB. And between laughing hysterically… because that’s what girls do… and laughing hysterically some more, I was very proud of my little ‘former’… Go PNB Go… and he was doing great, the girls all seemed to like him. Sadly I was overtaken by a fit of the giggles at about the same time that his fortunes turned… something about sex and bad breath and 4am…

And now I am sadder than ever that we don’t hang out because like,I SO, like want his autograph…

That’s it… I am writing a part just for him in my next screenplay.

Bea “Ever So Star Struck” Petty

4 comments:

TheatreChick73 said...

Ah, to oh so close to greatness....at least you can say you knew him when. And maybe even taught him a few things he might use in the show. How cool is that?!

Beatrice Petty said...

Funnily enough, because of the show, I know someone who would totally love to meet him... Oh well...

former pnb/ulh said...

OK, so I tried to "post a comment" 2 days earlier and gave up when it wasn't published (thought you rejected it) so here I am (drinks on a Monday) trying to publish once again. I love keeping up with your Blog, love reading references to the former PNB/ULH and realize since it is your blog....you have the ability to post-produce the activities in you life to suit the "Sod's Law" (just like the post-production of the W Network). Love you (I hope you know that), you are very talented and I hope you find happiness soon. I will continue reading adn enjoying your talents/experiences.

Beatrice Petty said...

Did the former-PNB just say that he loved me?