XXX-tra Good Topic

Without going into the details, I had the… pleasure is not the right word… the satisfaction? No, that’s not right either. Let’s just say the opportunity came up for the old girl to watch a movie with some pretty hardcore pornographic content a short while ago. It actually brought me back to my university days when our residence building would all go to the video store… yep, videos, because DVDs did not yet exist… and rent a selection of adult movies… Foreskin Gump… Classic.

Anyway, so the occasion presented itself and being ever the good sport, I said hey, why the heck not. On went the movie, whose name I cannot remember for the life of me, except I think it might have been “Big Jugs” or something along those lines. And sure, the movie had it’s moments of excitement but I have some observations if I may…

Now, it could have just been that movie in particular but one thing that I noticed was that the camera was never on the guys face. Were they enjoying it? No idea, because I just couldn’t see. Even during the money shots, you never saw their faces. I like watching men’s faces during the deed. Not that I think we women are any different, but men somehow manage to come up with these mugs that look completely hysterical. It takes all my effort not to laugh… because that would be highly inappropriate… but I do look, and enjoy... and secretly laugh nonetheless.

And I know that pretty much the entire thing is phony but do the directors and actors REALLY expect me to believe that the woman is enjoying herself as much as she is vocalizing that she is?

‘Oh, that’s it… bleep me, bleep me with your big blank… bleep me harder… Oh God, yeah… Oh bleep… that’s it, bleep my blank with your big, hard, blank. Oh yeah, it feels soooo good… Ah, bleep… BLEEP MY BLANK, BLEEP ME… HARDER… Oh yeah, I’m going to blank… oh, oh, OH, OH, OH… BLEEEEEEP’

I’m sorry, but as someone who enjoys bleeping, there is just no possible way that anyone going on and on and on like that is actually really, really enjoying it all that much. To me, it speaks to over-compensating just a wee bit. Granted, it is possible that these girls (and other vocalizing types) are multi-taskers to an extraordinary magnitude, but I for one, am usually concentrating too hard on one thing:

Blanking.

And so to go on and on and on at length about your ‘blank’ in my ‘blank’… I would just plain lose concentration… and then the whole exercise becomes completely pointless… because nothing puts Bea in a fouler mood than the guy blanking and not her. I guess I am just the most selfish person in the entire world. So be it.

Bea ‘This blank is your blank’ Petty