Here is my daily love horoscope:
Things are going to get a little weird soon, but you can cope easily and even thrive.
Things are going to get a little weird SOON? Well thank god I have been warned because I truly did not think that my love life could get any weirder. I'm thinking that my next date will be with an alien... a Zeta Reticulan perhaps... no wait, maybe it will be a cool alien like a Vulcan or a Wookie...
And because today is like the slowest day of work EVER... The only thing I have to do for the rest of the day is send a 3 line e-mail to a colleague, which I am trying to stretch out for as long as possible just in case someone decides to visit my work space, so it looks like I am actually doing some work... Anyway, I decided to see what other sites had to say about the world's most wonderful sign- Aquarius. Sadly, it was all very ho-hum.
Until I came across AskMen.com that is. Here is their advice to Aquarian men this week:
Try not to be overly generous.
Interesting. This might explain why it has been an uber long time since a man was overly generous with me. I mean, if this is the advice that men are being given then it is no stretch of the imagination that they would also get advice like:
- If you go out on a date and like the girl, make sure you DON'T call until after the following Christmas.
- During sex, make sure that you get off before she is even close.
- Never pay for dinner. Girls hate that.
- If you meet a girl this week, try to only stare at her boobs. If possible, call her by the wrong name throughout the evening.
- Your strip club addiction is sure to impress.
- Just for fun, make up a story about your locker getting broken into and all your things stolen.
- Spelling mistakes are the key to a woman's heart.
- If you are 44 years old and want to meet a younger woman, just lie and say that you are 32. That always works. Always.
- You'll never do better than the amazing girl you just met, but make sure you spend the rest of your life trying anyway.
- If you like a girl either never ask to see her more than once a week or ask to see her every night. Nothing in moderation.
Luckily, I expect things to change pretty soon. After all things will be getting "a little weird" for me. I sure hope I will be able to cope with getting a call from a guy when he SAYS he is going to call, having my dinner paid for and the guy NOT staring at my boobs and actually having a guy please ME in bed for once.
Gosh, it's been so long since I have "thrived"... I'd like to again... and it had better be soon. This "coping" is growing wearisome and quite frankly, very boring. One can only come up with so many "coping" scenarios before one is just unable to enjoy "coping" any longer.
Like my mother always said, bless her: "Coping by oneself is all well and good, but there comes a time in one's life when we all need a good "thriving" from a person of the opposite sex"... or same sex, if that's your bag.
Bea "aren't pseudo-sciences wonderful?" Petty