And by hump day, I do not mean literally of course... the end to my involuntary vow of celibacy would be far too much to ask...
No, I mean mid-week... Wednesday. Normally I dislike Wednesdays, far more than Mondays which for some unexplained reason fly by so quickly that I feel the work day is over almost as soon as I've sat down with my morning coffee. But Wednesdays... ugh... just AWFUL. Wednesdays are usually the days when I look at the clock at say 10am because I feel that surely it must be close to 1pm but no, it is only 10am. And then I look back at the clock like 3 hours later but it is only like 10:05am and then at like 10:30am I am starving because in my mind it is now like 3pm and I haven't like eaten and I'm like all grumpy and GOD FORBID you come and ask for something... not unless you have invented some sort of device to make time move at a moderately decent pace... because in that case MAYBE, just maybe I might consider giving you that back massage and de-lousing your children.
Anyway, so that's a typical Wednesday for me. But today, I got a chance to blow this popsicle stand for a few hours and attend the Sports Media Canada Awards luncheon, which sounds boring and would have been boring were it not for the fact that we had a former Maple Leafs hockey player sitting at our table (who will remain unnamed but knowing that he wears a giant cowboy hat with a picture of himself on the front of it should give you an idea as to what he is like) who by noon was mildly inebriated and regaling us with stories about virgins and panties and water beds. Good Times...
And I did learn a few things, in addition to getting a kick ass lunch. Chief among them that Gary Bettman, commission for the NHL is really quite a little man... from now on, I will refer to him as mini-Gary Bettman. Pinball Clemens of the Argos is also short but so completely adorable. People can have very unusual body shapes, as was proved by one of the owners of the Argos... not sure which one... the young one. People with big heads make good broadcasters. Prescription medication and wine don't mix. Not safe to assume that all 300 people at a luncheon can and will eat salmon for the main course. 2 and a half hours is a long time to be sitting without a bathroom break.
A few more hump days like today and I might have to re-think my whole opinion of them.