Red fish, blue fish... and angry fish, English fish... My how fishing is fun. Sort of... mostly... kind of.
Anyhoo, that new fabulous free dating site is interesting to say the least. There are some good fish. There must be, right? I thought there was at least one. He turned out to be completely insane as you will soon discover in the little story that follows that I have entitled.
"Not All Fish are Sane"
As many of you know, I have a little bit of a fondness for British culture. I will freely admit that to anyone... it is even written on my profile so it isn't like I went out of my way to hide it and up until this point in my life, it has not offended anyone. True, most of my friends can't relate and think that I am a little odd, but there you have it. So I meet this fish. He seems nice, normal etc... we write back and forth for quite some time and he was super keen to come with me to the Catherine the Great exhibit at the AGO... very keen.
I am, really not sure how this happened, but our first msn conversation turned out to be our last one ever. It started off simply enough... with a seemingly innocent remark about the colour of my font not being the right colour for someone who like England so much... apparently, and I so did not know this, but apparently the colour of font that one uses on msn should be chosen to reflect your heritage. Font Fish's (FF) font was green to reflect his Irish heritage and he logically thought that mine should be red to reflect what he thought was my English heritage, although I was using a blue font so it's not like I wasn't using a colour that makes up the bulk of the Union Jack... anyway the "font= nationality/heritage" discussion prompted me to mention that I was, in fact, also of Irish descent and logically that should have been a good thing BUT apparently, and I did not know this either, apparently people of Irish descent are not allowed to like anything English... something about the English being the oppressors of the world and they ruined his family back in the 1850's etc... which then became all my fault somehow... because I studied British history and should have been able to go back in time to prevent the potato famine... or something like that... And then I basically became a stupid idiot because a) I studied British history and that, like, has so been done and b) History IS stupid... except for Irish history of course, because the Irish have never done nothing bad to nobody and that c) If I take a course in baseball does that make me an expert baseball player(yeah, I wasn't clear on that analogy either... if I take a course on history, does that mean that I can be a history expert? Um, yes) and d) I am a stupid idiot.
Things that I did not bring up because there seemed to no point were a) he and his family wouldn't even be in Canada were it not for the British and b) I dated an Irishman so I know more than your average hush puppy about what is going on over there so to tell that I don't know what I am talking about and that I should just shut up is not on and c) get over it. The potato famine happened 150 years ago and yes, it was very tragic but to blame the great great great great great grandchildren of those who may or may not have been a direct cause of this misfortune seems misguided and last but not least d) going to see the Catherine the Great exhibit at the AGO would have meant a brush with... gasp... history... and that didn't seem to bother him until I became the root cause of all the problems that Ireland has ever had... ever.
So that was that. I think it is safe to assume that this was the first time font colour has led to such an argument. It was funny sort of... of course, it was made even funnier because the same day that happened, I was contacted by a genuine English Fish... who is currently in the process of getting a university degree... in history. Is that not just the weirdest thing?
But all these fish may be soon extinct as I actually succeeded, for the first time in like... only GOD knows (literally), in making it to a second date with my Computer Philosopher... I know, shocking... with definite agreement that a third date would be highly amenable. Besides, I don't even like seafood.