So I have a date of sorts tonight. Some red flags up because he seems like a super busy guy which is the last thing I need. I swear that if it takes you a month just to find a spare bit of time to meet someone, you should re-examine your choice to date. I also kind of got the feeling that when he suggested meeting tonight at 8:30, which is FAAAAR later than my usual dating threshold for a weeknight, I got the impression that it was sort of an “if it’s not tonight then it ain’t gonna happen” kind of a deal. Under normal circumstances this would have caused me to come back with a “nobody buts baby in a corner” response. The only saving grace is that he was willing to come up to me, which almost never happens, and as I figured I could make the effort to walk the minute it will take from the door to my apartment to the door of the pub, I made to decision to go ahead with it. Of course all of this was before I got ickly sickles this week because of the metarded Toronto weather, which is murder on my sinuses at the best of times. I still might cancel… I haven’t decided.
Something on the boy front did happen this morning, and it kind of made me laugh. I’ve sort of been chatting on and off with this guy for a few weeks now. Not with any interest in it progressing any further than maybe possibly meeting at some point if it ever was convenient, as he lives far, far away in the not so magical land of Pickering. I refuse to think romance about anyone who lives in the burbs. If I had a car it would be one thing, but I’m just not in a suburbia frame of mind so it just makes little sense to bother. He’s also a full-time single dad. The fact that I will even talk to someone with a child is quite a new phenomenon for me. If I am not in the surburbia frame of mind then I am most certainly not in the under-age dependants one either. However, since my whole dating life has gone from shooting for the moon to sifting through the recycling bin, I can only chalk this development up to trying to not be so picky when it comes to who I will consent to date. I’ve gone from dating only tall and handsome men, to agreeing to go out with short and balding but yet still never married or mit babies ones… to being ok with divorcees… and now not fleeing to the high hills if they are so unlucky to be saddled with little mouths to feed that are not covered in fur. Harsh but there you have it.
So this guy lived no where near me and was a full-time dad to a 4 year old daughter. But our correspondence was sporadic at best and I could really have cared to increase it. Until this week. This week he has been oh so communicative. Always quick to say hi the moment I come online with Hi Cutie, Hi Sexy, I missed you… and other thoroughly genuine and not necessarily appropriate greetings. Cut to yesterday. I was at home feeling ick in the afternoon when he came online while he was at wok. We talked, about nothing in particular and he alluded to wanting to get together this weekend. I was like whatever. As I’m not up to a whole lot so it could have worked. Until we began a discussion about the United Nations.
Yep, the UN. Now, I will be the first to argue that there are problems with the UN. Although a great idea in theory at the time it was created, it is somewhat outdated. And it really only works if all of your members are on the same page. But when your most powerful member country… ahem, the US… decides to do whatever the hell it wants, the rest of the world be damned… that’s when the UN becomes a bit of a joke on the worldwide stage. That being said I think the UN is a great forum for discussing world issues, such as poverty, children and helping out in natural disasters… but you could easily come up with a more streamlined and efficient way of doing the same things… Anyway this is neither the time nor the place to debate to usefulness of such a body as the UN…
So the UN discussion eventually led to a comment along the lines of… “I can’t wait to sit down and debate this issue with you over a few beers.” Sure, why not… which then led to the comment from him of “Of course you know that will mean we’ll end up in bed together.”
Well, actually, I did not know that.
There are many things that could happen on a date that would maybe lead to one thing or another. Discussing the UN is not usually one that comes to mind. At any rate, I got his meaning, shrugged it off with a laugh, even though he kept bringing it up. Luckily it was 5 and he has to leave work and I needed to give Hugh tuna so it ended with an “I’ll talk to you later tonight”. Ok.
Cut to this morning… ‘Hey Bea, did you get my e-mail?” Nope, I’m on ghetto messenger and I haven’t checked this morning. So I check, and sure enough there is this email sitting happily in my inbox:
“Hey Bea. I wanted to talk with you about this tonight but you were off to bed. I want to tell you, up front, that things have changed in my life recently. For reasons that are my own, I've decided to reconcile with my former wife as it's in the best interest of myself and my daughter. I wanted to be honest with you.
I wish you all the luck and i enjoyed chatting with you.”
And the he spent the next 10 minutes apologizing for hurting me. It was all I could do to not laugh hysterically.
But here’s my quandary. When someone says ‘recently’, what does that entail exactly? Isn’t there some sort of cut off when using that word to refer to something that has happened? When I refer to something that has happened to me recently, my frame of reference usually leans towards the “last week/ over the last month” kind of time frame. A few days at the very least. As in “I recently went to my first soccer match”, I recently went to a housewarming party or “I recently saw Spiderman 3 and it was the worst movie EVER!” There was not more than 4 hours between wanting to shag me in front of the entire UN Security Council and writing the email telling me he was reconciling with his wife. To me that is not so much “recent’ as it is “right this second.”
To illustrate my point… if I had blogged about the footie game as soon as I had come home, it would have sounded like “OMG, I just got home from seeing my first big soccer game”, or “This party I just went to” or “I just the Spiderman 3 matinee and was so horribly offended by the whole thing that I want wash my eyes out with acid”… I think you get the picture.
Or maybe it’s just me…