1) A mostly full corked bottle of wine on the kitchen countertop is (apparently) very tempting to a kitty who is apt to get up to mischief when left alone all day )and when not alone but that’s not for here)
2) When a mostly full and not very tightly corked bottle of red wine is knocked over by a mischievous cat, it’s contents may spill all over the kitchen
3) When red wine has been spilled all over a white kitchen countertop and left to sit for several hours, the red wine will stain the white countertop (but not the white refrigerator or the microwave if you can believe THAT)
4) When red wine that has been spilled all over a white kitchen countertop has had it’s fill of staining said countertop, it will move on to bothering the cream coloured ceramic tile floor
5) When red wine that has been spilled all over a white kitchen countertop and then further spilled onto the cream coloured ceramic tile floor, it will stain said floor if left for hours
6) The grout between ceramic tile is VERY porous and absorbs liquids quickly and with great enthusiasm (not really a red wine fact, but now you know a little more about grout than you did this morning)
7) When red wine that has been spilled all over a white kitchen countertop and then further spilled onto the cream coloured ceramic tile floor and left for hours, the grout between those tiles will for ever and all time be the same colour as the red wine that had been spilled all over the white kitchen countertop by a mischievous cat
8) A mischievous cat who spills red wine may take great pleasure in watching his owner try and clean it off of white countertops, cream coloured ceramic tiled floors and previously neutral coloured grout, but he will not help you do it
9) After cleaning red wine that has been spilled all over a white kitchen countertop and then further spilled onto the cream coloured ceramic tile floor and left for hours, with the grout between those tiles for ever and all time the same colour as the red wine that had been spilled all over a white kitchen countertop by a mischievous cat, all you really want to do is have a glass of red wine
10) Wanting a glass of red wine after cleaning red wine that has been spilled all over a white kitchen countertop and then further spilled onto the cream coloured ceramic tile floor and left for hours, with the grout between those tiles for ever and all time the same colour as the red wine that had been spilled all over a white kitchen countertop by a mischievous cat but then NOT being able to have one because all your red wine has been spilled all over a white kitchen countertop and then further spilled onto the cream coloured ceramic tile floor and left for hours, with the grout between those tiles for ever and all time the same colour as the red wine that had been spilled all over a white kitchen countertop by a mischievous cat is SURPRISINGLY annoying
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