So, here's another question to throw out at any male who might happen to stumble across this little slice of heaven I call Beatrice Petty... In particular, those who may be familiar with the world of online dating and playing the "let's chat incessantly over msn for weeks on end and never actually meet" game.
When chatting to a girl, does asking her what she is wearing and what her measurements are two sentences into the very first msn conversation EVER work? I'm just curious, because, like... ew.
BP
Tuesday
And Now For Something Completely Different
Just so y'all don't think that I have turned into some crazy basketball fiend... Let us switch channels shall we? And I do meant that literally...
Of course, not really dating much these days leaves me loads of time for something much more rewarding... TV. You know, I used to be kind of ashamed to admit that I loved watching TV. It is kind of one of those things that I think most people secretly do enjoy, but god forbid you should admit it to those around you lest people think you are a couch potato or whatever other negative connotation comes with being an avid TV watcher. Don't get me wrong, I don't watch any and every show out there and it's usually just on as background noise. In fact, I can count on one hand the shows that I watch faithfully: House, America's Next Top Model (go ahead and laugh... I freaking love that show), American Idol, Simpsons if I can, Family Guy I have seen all of... jeez, what else. The rest I pretty much usually catch by accident. The other good shows I wait for on DVD and watch commercial-free.
More often than not, I tune in to the History Channel and see what's on... and somehow I always manage to come to shows that count down things... things such as the world's top 10 fighter jets, or tanks, or bombers... why feel compelled to know what the worlds best amphibious attack vehicle is is beyond me, but I never once claimed that I was not the world's biggest geek... Another favorite is the one about the worst jobs in history... again, geek... but there you have it.
Anyway, got off on a bit of a tangent there, as the whole point of my posting today was supposed to be about American Idol and not the world's best excavator...
So, Idol, right. Am I the only one finding this year kind of ho-hum? True, there is some pretty good talent AND they don't all sound like Justin Timberlake/ Brittany wannabees this year, but I still get the "didn't I see this exact same thing last year? The year before? The year before that?" I guess I keep tuning in because Simon is particularly nasty this year and he has been fun to watch. And it's always a gas to try and guess just what substance Paula is on... playing drinking games with Randy-- you drink whenever he says "Dawg", "Dog Pound", "Yo" "Yo Dawg" (take two drinks when he says this), "What's up?", "You really brought it", "Man" and "You know what? I really like you." Now that I think about it, that's pretty much the only reason for tuning in...
Of course, not really dating much these days leaves me loads of time for something much more rewarding... TV. You know, I used to be kind of ashamed to admit that I loved watching TV. It is kind of one of those things that I think most people secretly do enjoy, but god forbid you should admit it to those around you lest people think you are a couch potato or whatever other negative connotation comes with being an avid TV watcher. Don't get me wrong, I don't watch any and every show out there and it's usually just on as background noise. In fact, I can count on one hand the shows that I watch faithfully: House, America's Next Top Model (go ahead and laugh... I freaking love that show), American Idol, Simpsons if I can, Family Guy I have seen all of... jeez, what else. The rest I pretty much usually catch by accident. The other good shows I wait for on DVD and watch commercial-free.
More often than not, I tune in to the History Channel and see what's on... and somehow I always manage to come to shows that count down things... things such as the world's top 10 fighter jets, or tanks, or bombers... why feel compelled to know what the worlds best amphibious attack vehicle is is beyond me, but I never once claimed that I was not the world's biggest geek... Another favorite is the one about the worst jobs in history... again, geek... but there you have it.
Anyway, got off on a bit of a tangent there, as the whole point of my posting today was supposed to be about American Idol and not the world's best excavator...
So, Idol, right. Am I the only one finding this year kind of ho-hum? True, there is some pretty good talent AND they don't all sound like Justin Timberlake/ Brittany wannabees this year, but I still get the "didn't I see this exact same thing last year? The year before? The year before that?" I guess I keep tuning in because Simon is particularly nasty this year and he has been fun to watch. And it's always a gas to try and guess just what substance Paula is on... playing drinking games with Randy-- you drink whenever he says "Dawg", "Dog Pound", "Yo" "Yo Dawg" (take two drinks when he says this), "What's up?", "You really brought it", "Man" and "You know what? I really like you." Now that I think about it, that's pretty much the only reason for tuning in...
Monday
Let Down by Porn...
Porno that is.
So the Zags totally defeated... which totally sucked. Sucked so much that I threw my hands up in disgust and cried aloud in my loft "Damn You, Damn you to HELL March Madness... and your little dog too!!!" Or something like that. Anyway, thoroughly disgusted with the horrifying turn of events that I had seen unfold before mine virgin eyes, and left only with Florida of all teams making it to the championship game, I vowed then and there to throw in the towel and never again subject myself to dizzying highs and the depressingly low lows that is NCAA basketball- ever.
Ah, but you see, that's where I was wrong. It's Florida. Florida is and always was the key to my goal of world domination... my ace in the whole as it were. Little Florida, who for shits and giggles I had going to the final 2 only to lose against Gonzaga, decided to turn the tables on us all. Me most of all for, due to circumstances that only the Universe can understand, I went from thinking that I was out to being close to winning it all baby. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
It comes down to this: April Fool's Day. How very apropos. It's Florida against some uber low-ranked team who got this far for reasons that nobody can figure out. I think it has something do to with the full moon, a pentacle, naked people, and orgy and a whole lot of chanting, but we are not here to discuss the possible rampant use of sorcery and witchcraft in college basketball... It all comes down to one semi-final game and me and one other person. If Florida wins... I take it all baby!!! If Florida does not win well... a) I will launch a protest for the winning team's use of trickery in the tournament. I might possibly try and claim that their players are not really human at all, but zombies because man, zombies just go like stink and it would explain pretty much everything... anyway, haven't decided that yet... and b) I'll probably just kind of get over it pretty quickly and say to myself over and over again that I really didn't need new summer shoes anyway... but mostly just get over it.
Go Gators Go
So the Zags totally defeated... which totally sucked. Sucked so much that I threw my hands up in disgust and cried aloud in my loft "Damn You, Damn you to HELL March Madness... and your little dog too!!!" Or something like that. Anyway, thoroughly disgusted with the horrifying turn of events that I had seen unfold before mine virgin eyes, and left only with Florida of all teams making it to the championship game, I vowed then and there to throw in the towel and never again subject myself to dizzying highs and the depressingly low lows that is NCAA basketball- ever.
Ah, but you see, that's where I was wrong. It's Florida. Florida is and always was the key to my goal of world domination... my ace in the whole as it were. Little Florida, who for shits and giggles I had going to the final 2 only to lose against Gonzaga, decided to turn the tables on us all. Me most of all for, due to circumstances that only the Universe can understand, I went from thinking that I was out to being close to winning it all baby. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
It comes down to this: April Fool's Day. How very apropos. It's Florida against some uber low-ranked team who got this far for reasons that nobody can figure out. I think it has something do to with the full moon, a pentacle, naked people, and orgy and a whole lot of chanting, but we are not here to discuss the possible rampant use of sorcery and witchcraft in college basketball... It all comes down to one semi-final game and me and one other person. If Florida wins... I take it all baby!!! If Florida does not win well... a) I will launch a protest for the winning team's use of trickery in the tournament. I might possibly try and claim that their players are not really human at all, but zombies because man, zombies just go like stink and it would explain pretty much everything... anyway, haven't decided that yet... and b) I'll probably just kind of get over it pretty quickly and say to myself over and over again that I really didn't need new summer shoes anyway... but mostly just get over it.
Go Gators Go
Thursday
Go Gozags!
FINALLY,
After three very long days, March Madness is about to kick off again for the weekend. Do I actually give a hoot about basketball-- college or pro-- at any other time of the year? No. Did I pretend that I liked watching the Raptors a while back in order to impress the former PNB? Um... yes... sigh... the things we do for love. But the NCAA College Basketball Championships? A whole other ball game... pun intended! I, am like SO within striking distance of like, totally winning our office pool. Like totally. Just kidding, but I am holding my own.
Everyone, meet Adam Morrison aka Porno.
He is the star player on the team that I have taking it all. Why did I pick Gonzaga-- the only one in my pool to have picked a 3rd-ranked team, let alone the 'Zags? I should think that would be obvious. The name just rolls off the tongue don't it? It's so much fun to say. Gonzaga. C'mon, say it with me:
Gon...
Za...
Ga...
Gonzaga.
Now say again, but this time in a Dart Vader voice... Gonzaaaaaaaaaaga.
See? It's super fun.
The other great thing about the Gozags is Porno. I kid you not (sadly the picture just doesn't do him justice), this guy looks like he is straight out of a 1970's skin flick, with his crazy 'stache and floppy hair. I feel dirty just watching him play. At any moment I anticipate the familiar bow-chickie--bow-bow porn melody to burst forth from the TV. It hasn't happened... not yet... but when it does...
bow-chickie-bow-bow... chickie-bow-bow
Go Gonzaga!!!
Bea "I've got the MADNESS!!!" Petty
After three very long days, March Madness is about to kick off again for the weekend. Do I actually give a hoot about basketball-- college or pro-- at any other time of the year? No. Did I pretend that I liked watching the Raptors a while back in order to impress the former PNB? Um... yes... sigh... the things we do for love. But the NCAA College Basketball Championships? A whole other ball game... pun intended! I, am like SO within striking distance of like, totally winning our office pool. Like totally. Just kidding, but I am holding my own.
Everyone, meet Adam Morrison aka Porno.
He is the star player on the team that I have taking it all. Why did I pick Gonzaga-- the only one in my pool to have picked a 3rd-ranked team, let alone the 'Zags? I should think that would be obvious. The name just rolls off the tongue don't it? It's so much fun to say. Gonzaga. C'mon, say it with me:
Gon...
Za...
Ga...
Gonzaga.
Now say again, but this time in a Dart Vader voice... Gonzaaaaaaaaaaga.
See? It's super fun.
The other great thing about the Gozags is Porno. I kid you not (sadly the picture just doesn't do him justice), this guy looks like he is straight out of a 1970's skin flick, with his crazy 'stache and floppy hair. I feel dirty just watching him play. At any moment I anticipate the familiar bow-chickie--bow-bow porn melody to burst forth from the TV. It hasn't happened... not yet... but when it does...
bow-chickie-bow-bow... chickie-bow-bow
Go Gonzaga!!!
Bea "I've got the MADNESS!!!" Petty
Wednesday
Need Input
OK... Neville Train Conductor... wrote back... responded to e-mail re: watch... reply... follows... no idea what means...
Subject line: Forgetting items to come back...
Thought I lost watch...thanks for heads up..Thursday or Friday might work for me to swing by....plus tournament is on those days.....see if any of those days work for you.... P.S.....On call...so day by day
So, my question to everyone is... WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN? In particular, those who can speak man-speak might be pretty helpful in this case.
Does the reference to the "tournament" (March Madness) imply that he wants to do more than stop by quickly and pick up his watch? And what of his subject line? I am sure it's a bit of a joke, after all he does have some semblance of a sense of humour, but is it possible that he is trying to say that he left "forgot" his "items" so that he would have "to come back?"
Yeah, I know... entirely too much time spent trying to figure out what this means... welcome to the Wonderful World of Neville Train Conductor. This is kind of what it has been like since the beginning. It is kind of like the Wonderful World of Disney, but without the seven dwarves.
Help. Anyone.
Bea "don't speak man-tongue" Petty
Subject line: Forgetting items to come back...
Thought I lost watch...thanks for heads up..Thursday or Friday might work for me to swing by....plus tournament is on those days.....see if any of those days work for you.... P.S.....On call...so day by day
So, my question to everyone is... WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN? In particular, those who can speak man-speak might be pretty helpful in this case.
Does the reference to the "tournament" (March Madness) imply that he wants to do more than stop by quickly and pick up his watch? And what of his subject line? I am sure it's a bit of a joke, after all he does have some semblance of a sense of humour, but is it possible that he is trying to say that he left "forgot" his "items" so that he would have "to come back?"
Yeah, I know... entirely too much time spent trying to figure out what this means... welcome to the Wonderful World of Neville Train Conductor. This is kind of what it has been like since the beginning. It is kind of like the Wonderful World of Disney, but without the seven dwarves.
Help. Anyone.
Bea "don't speak man-tongue" Petty
Tuesday
Adding a Bit of Zing to my Day!
As you may or may not know, I have a job that has something to do with the Olympics in Canada. I have never been afraid to be open about this for fear that my colleagues might somehow find out how completely ridiculous my life is... for they already know it and embrace it... so it is all good.
Anyway, 99% of my job is ho-hum-dee-dum quite unexciting but on more than a few occasions I do get to interact with some of our athletes. On those occasions I become like a little giddy school girl, especially when I get to a chance to speak with some of my favorite Olympic boyfriends. I don't know why, but it always seems to makes my day a lot more fun. Today has been a Brad Gushue day, who I want to just eat up like pudding... A big heaping bowl of chocolate pudding...
Hmmm..... pudding... Gotta go... lunch time...
Anyway, 99% of my job is ho-hum-dee-dum quite unexciting but on more than a few occasions I do get to interact with some of our athletes. On those occasions I become like a little giddy school girl, especially when I get to a chance to speak with some of my favorite Olympic boyfriends. I don't know why, but it always seems to makes my day a lot more fun. Today has been a Brad Gushue day, who I want to just eat up like pudding... A big heaping bowl of chocolate pudding...
Hmmm..... pudding... Gotta go... lunch time...
Monday
Blasts from the Pasts
Another St. Paddy's Day has come and gone and as usual it totally rocked. It is the one night of the year where you can talk to complete strangers and not have them look at you like you are trying to rob them. The one night of the year where complete strangers will buy you a pint and expect nothing back in return... God Bless the Irish...
Anyway, so it was fun. I ran into the Irish people from last year who were once again whooping it up, though this time sans my Wall-eyed Irishman who has long since been back in the Old Country. Phew. I was worried that I might have seen him, which would have greatly hindered my plans of hanging with the other Irish folk should they have been there... which they were... and so I did... hang with them... and then I went home... and went to bed... and got up the next day... and felt pretty good despite drinking my weight in Guinness (Guinnesses? Guinnessi?)... and not having eaten a damn thing all night... cut to Saturday night.
So, everyone remember my disappearing-reappearing Train Conductor right? Oh come on, sure you do. He's the one who writes me every few months or so:
Bea... Train Conductor... hope all is well... working lots... off this weekend... beers maybe...let me know if works... talk soon... Train Conductor.
And then I don't hear from him for about 2 months and then I get:
Bea... Train Conductor... hope you are well... not in town this weekend... beers next weekend... talk soon... Train Conductor.
etc... etc... etc... So that has been going on consistently since last August... last AUGUST people. And I kept playing along simply because I thought it was hilarious and because I have a sick sense of humour. I was trying to keep it going until August because if I was still getting emails like that a year after having only ever met him once, I was going to just howl because honestly... WTF?
Anyway, oddly enough he was really quite serious about getting together this time and I was like, whatever, I got nothing better going on and also, I really wanted to watch basketball on the weekend and watching it with someone else is always more fun AND he offered to pay for Chinese food, and ciders so when I added it all up, it came to like 30 points in favour of him coming over which I thought was a nice round number so I said what the hell, sure.
It was an interesting evening to say the least. He is not as good-looking as I remembered him to be... still cute, but in more of a Neville Longbottom kind of way... and it's funny because after the games were over he really, really wanted to watch Harry Potter so we did, and he reminded me so much of Neville Longbottom... you know... adorable but in a horribly dorky and awkward kind of way... that he is no longer Train Conductor in my mind anymore, he is Neville Longbottom and that he will remain for ever and all time.
We had fun... not THAT kind of fun...wink wink... but a good time nonetheless and despite getting the "I'll call you later in the week to see how your weekend is looking" standard goodbye if I actually GET that phone call I will be flabbergasted. However, throwing a monkey-wrench into the machinery that I am sure was to have us meeting again sometime mid-October-ish was the fact that he left his watch at my place. As a train conductor, one could assume that a watch is quite an important accessory, second only to the conductor's hat.
Gotta go... lots of work... will let everyone know if calls... Bea.
Anyway, so it was fun. I ran into the Irish people from last year who were once again whooping it up, though this time sans my Wall-eyed Irishman who has long since been back in the Old Country. Phew. I was worried that I might have seen him, which would have greatly hindered my plans of hanging with the other Irish folk should they have been there... which they were... and so I did... hang with them... and then I went home... and went to bed... and got up the next day... and felt pretty good despite drinking my weight in Guinness (Guinnesses? Guinnessi?)... and not having eaten a damn thing all night... cut to Saturday night.
So, everyone remember my disappearing-reappearing Train Conductor right? Oh come on, sure you do. He's the one who writes me every few months or so:
Bea... Train Conductor... hope all is well... working lots... off this weekend... beers maybe...let me know if works... talk soon... Train Conductor.
And then I don't hear from him for about 2 months and then I get:
Bea... Train Conductor... hope you are well... not in town this weekend... beers next weekend... talk soon... Train Conductor.
etc... etc... etc... So that has been going on consistently since last August... last AUGUST people. And I kept playing along simply because I thought it was hilarious and because I have a sick sense of humour. I was trying to keep it going until August because if I was still getting emails like that a year after having only ever met him once, I was going to just howl because honestly... WTF?
Anyway, oddly enough he was really quite serious about getting together this time and I was like, whatever, I got nothing better going on and also, I really wanted to watch basketball on the weekend and watching it with someone else is always more fun AND he offered to pay for Chinese food, and ciders so when I added it all up, it came to like 30 points in favour of him coming over which I thought was a nice round number so I said what the hell, sure.
It was an interesting evening to say the least. He is not as good-looking as I remembered him to be... still cute, but in more of a Neville Longbottom kind of way... and it's funny because after the games were over he really, really wanted to watch Harry Potter so we did, and he reminded me so much of Neville Longbottom... you know... adorable but in a horribly dorky and awkward kind of way... that he is no longer Train Conductor in my mind anymore, he is Neville Longbottom and that he will remain for ever and all time.
We had fun... not THAT kind of fun...wink wink... but a good time nonetheless and despite getting the "I'll call you later in the week to see how your weekend is looking" standard goodbye if I actually GET that phone call I will be flabbergasted. However, throwing a monkey-wrench into the machinery that I am sure was to have us meeting again sometime mid-October-ish was the fact that he left his watch at my place. As a train conductor, one could assume that a watch is quite an important accessory, second only to the conductor's hat.
Gotta go... lots of work... will let everyone know if calls... Bea.
Wednesday
Wassup?
No posting in a while... sorry... That is mostly due to nothing really happening to speak of. True, I could talk about the 3 men I have in my life right now, but I won't. I could also talk about the fact that the world seems to be going to hell in a handbasket lately, but I won't. I could talk about how much fun it is now that March Madness is back starting tomorrow, but I won't. The following is a list of other things that I COULD talk about, but I won't:
Hugh (my devil cat or Laurie... stupid House not being on this week)
American Idol (Let's just give the damn prize to that bald rocker guy already)
Paris Hilton (Will she ever go away?)
More annoying people cracking gum (How can they not know?)
St. Paddy's Day this Friday(How excited am I?)
The Beautiful South (Jennifer, Alison, Phillippa, Sue...)
Short, bald Englishmen with unusually large...
Disappearing and reappearing train conductors
Men with the same name as that girl from Contact and Flight Plan
Centipedes
Pretty skirts (am particularly fond of the one I am wearing today)
The hilarious hippies from The Amazing Race (love those guys!)
My oh-so-clean workspace
Pride and Prejudice AND Harry Potter both out on DVD (that's un-possible)
Dill pickle Crispy Minis (why oh why do they make your tongue hurt?)
Time actually going backwards today
Guinness (the beer, not Sir Alec)
Public washroom etiquette
etc
etc
etc
Aren't you glad I posted?
Hugh (my devil cat or Laurie... stupid House not being on this week)
American Idol (Let's just give the damn prize to that bald rocker guy already)
Paris Hilton (Will she ever go away?)
More annoying people cracking gum (How can they not know?)
St. Paddy's Day this Friday(How excited am I?)
The Beautiful South (Jennifer, Alison, Phillippa, Sue...)
Short, bald Englishmen with unusually large...
Disappearing and reappearing train conductors
Men with the same name as that girl from Contact and Flight Plan
Centipedes
Pretty skirts (am particularly fond of the one I am wearing today)
The hilarious hippies from The Amazing Race (love those guys!)
My oh-so-clean workspace
Pride and Prejudice AND Harry Potter both out on DVD (that's un-possible)
Dill pickle Crispy Minis (why oh why do they make your tongue hurt?)
Time actually going backwards today
Guinness (the beer, not Sir Alec)
Public washroom etiquette
etc
etc
etc
Aren't you glad I posted?
I Don't Want to Alarm You...
But I think a mad scientist moved into the loft across the hall last night. I distinctly heard the sounds of several gurneys being rolled in, as well as the clank of test tubes and Bunsen burners... and possibly what may or may not have been the limping gait of a deformed assistant. I definitely heard maniacal laughter, of that I am sure.
I am afraid... very, very afraid.
Bea
I am afraid... very, very afraid.
Bea
Tuesday
The Great Debate
Gum vs. Cigarettes
The age old question... which is more annoying to the world at large? Let us take a look shall we?
Gum vs. Cigarettes... on the bus. Seeing as how you are no longer permitted to smoke on public transportation, gum is the hands down winner at being more annoying in this case. True, the smell while sitting next to someone who took their final puff the second prior to getting on the bus is not super pleasant but believe you me... it is much easier to ignore that then the incessant squishsquishsgquishsquish that accompanies an inconsiderate gum chewer. I will also mention here the act of cracking your gum every 2.5 seconds as if you were having a mini-war of independence in your mouth. I for one do not like war, whether it be over in Iraq or in your mouth... so please take the time to stop and remember... Gum is meant to be neither seen nor heard. Gum 1, Cigarettes 0.
Gum vs. Cigarettes... in the great outdoors. Being unable to smoke indoors anymore, smokers now have no choice but to smoke outside and while some clearly have the "it's a free country and I can smoke where I damn well please if you are concerned about second hand smoke then move your baby somewhere else bitch" attitude, many are very, very considerate... especially for those of us who have an allergy to the smoke. I am not a huge fan of smoking (cigarettes anyway... wink wink), but smokers have just as much right to do their business outdoors as we non-smokers have to not do it and so recognizing that they have no where else to go... if offended, go stand or walk somewhere else. Gum on the other hand is a much trickier devil because while walking in public, you do not tend to see gum until it is much too late, and by too late, I mean sticking to your shoe. Stepping on a cigarette? Unless it is lit and you are in bare feet... not an issue. Gum 2, Cigarettes 0.
Gum vs. Cigarettes... while making out. I think even smokers will agree that it is much more pleasant to kiss someone who has a stick of gum in their mouth than a cigarette. Gum 2, Cigarettes 1.
Gum vs. Cigarettes... while drinking alcohol. Have you ever had a beer while chewing on a piece of wintermint gum? No? Well that's because even the most slow-witted of those amongst us know that would be gross. Nor have I smoked a cigarette while drinking a beer... OK, maybe I have but if I am at the point of smoking cigarettes then I have had too many beers to count and thus do not remember that it occurred at all and would be beyond knowing the difference between what was gross and what was not... Anyway, my point is that I have seen many, many people out there do just that, so smoking a cigarette while drinking may or may not be gross. Gum 3, Cigarettes 1
Gum vs. Cigarettes... when flirting. Scenario one: a guy sees a girl across a crowded room. Oh man, she is HOT... and she smokes... a perfect way to make my move. "Excuse me", he says to the girl, "do you think I can borrow your lighter for a sec?" "But of course" she says lovingly, "Why, let us smoke together..."" Yes, let us shall we"? he laughed jovially...and they lived happily ever after. Scenario two: a guy sees a girls across a crowded room. Oh Man, she is HOT... I guess I'll head over and make my move. "Excuse me", she says to the girl, "do you have any gum?" "Um, yes, I do, here you go" she says looking at him oddly. "Great, Thanks!" he says as he walks away, feeling like an idiot as all his friends laugh hysterically in the corner as the guy from Scenario one steps onto the scene. Gum 4, Cigarettes 1.
In conclusion, the above detailed evidence clearly proves that gum truly is a menace to society. It should be banned and banned swiftly lest it ruins one more life.
___________________________________________________
Bibliography
1) Petty, Beatrice "Bea on Subway on Tuesday Morning". March 7, 2006. Yonge/University Line Northbound
2) Petty, Beatrice "Things that have happened at some point in Bea's life" Magazine. Feb '74- Mar '06. Worldwide.
3) Petty, Beatrice "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Pub". Adapted for the screen Feb '06. Coming Summer '08 to theatres everywhere.
4) Petty, Beatrice "Black Running Shoes, Pan Flutes and Other Things Bea Finds Annoying". Work in progress. Worldwide.
The age old question... which is more annoying to the world at large? Let us take a look shall we?
Gum vs. Cigarettes... on the bus. Seeing as how you are no longer permitted to smoke on public transportation, gum is the hands down winner at being more annoying in this case. True, the smell while sitting next to someone who took their final puff the second prior to getting on the bus is not super pleasant but believe you me... it is much easier to ignore that then the incessant squishsquishsgquishsquish that accompanies an inconsiderate gum chewer. I will also mention here the act of cracking your gum every 2.5 seconds as if you were having a mini-war of independence in your mouth. I for one do not like war, whether it be over in Iraq or in your mouth... so please take the time to stop and remember... Gum is meant to be neither seen nor heard. Gum 1, Cigarettes 0.
Gum vs. Cigarettes... in the great outdoors. Being unable to smoke indoors anymore, smokers now have no choice but to smoke outside and while some clearly have the "it's a free country and I can smoke where I damn well please if you are concerned about second hand smoke then move your baby somewhere else bitch" attitude, many are very, very considerate... especially for those of us who have an allergy to the smoke. I am not a huge fan of smoking (cigarettes anyway... wink wink), but smokers have just as much right to do their business outdoors as we non-smokers have to not do it and so recognizing that they have no where else to go... if offended, go stand or walk somewhere else. Gum on the other hand is a much trickier devil because while walking in public, you do not tend to see gum until it is much too late, and by too late, I mean sticking to your shoe. Stepping on a cigarette? Unless it is lit and you are in bare feet... not an issue. Gum 2, Cigarettes 0.
Gum vs. Cigarettes... while making out. I think even smokers will agree that it is much more pleasant to kiss someone who has a stick of gum in their mouth than a cigarette. Gum 2, Cigarettes 1.
Gum vs. Cigarettes... while drinking alcohol. Have you ever had a beer while chewing on a piece of wintermint gum? No? Well that's because even the most slow-witted of those amongst us know that would be gross. Nor have I smoked a cigarette while drinking a beer... OK, maybe I have but if I am at the point of smoking cigarettes then I have had too many beers to count and thus do not remember that it occurred at all and would be beyond knowing the difference between what was gross and what was not... Anyway, my point is that I have seen many, many people out there do just that, so smoking a cigarette while drinking may or may not be gross. Gum 3, Cigarettes 1
Gum vs. Cigarettes... when flirting. Scenario one: a guy sees a girl across a crowded room. Oh man, she is HOT... and she smokes... a perfect way to make my move. "Excuse me", he says to the girl, "do you think I can borrow your lighter for a sec?" "But of course" she says lovingly, "Why, let us smoke together..."" Yes, let us shall we"? he laughed jovially...and they lived happily ever after. Scenario two: a guy sees a girls across a crowded room. Oh Man, she is HOT... I guess I'll head over and make my move. "Excuse me", she says to the girl, "do you have any gum?" "Um, yes, I do, here you go" she says looking at him oddly. "Great, Thanks!" he says as he walks away, feeling like an idiot as all his friends laugh hysterically in the corner as the guy from Scenario one steps onto the scene. Gum 4, Cigarettes 1.
In conclusion, the above detailed evidence clearly proves that gum truly is a menace to society. It should be banned and banned swiftly lest it ruins one more life.
___________________________________________________
Bibliography
1) Petty, Beatrice "Bea on Subway on Tuesday Morning". March 7, 2006. Yonge/University Line Northbound
2) Petty, Beatrice "Things that have happened at some point in Bea's life" Magazine. Feb '74- Mar '06. Worldwide.
3) Petty, Beatrice "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Pub". Adapted for the screen Feb '06. Coming Summer '08 to theatres everywhere.
4) Petty, Beatrice "Black Running Shoes, Pan Flutes and Other Things Bea Finds Annoying". Work in progress. Worldwide.
Monday
That Sh*t's Swanked
And by that, of course I am referring to Paul Haggis' Best Picture Oscar for Crash. Who knew that the unassuming balding man who I met at the Toronto International Film Festival a couple of years ago was going to become the darling of Hollywood and beat out a couple of gay cowboys?
I realized this morning that I had not managed to put up my Oscar predictions, but as I had only seen like 5 out of the any of the movies nominated for any of the awards, it would not have been much of a predictions page as it would have been me just making things up and giving the Oscars to whoever had the coolest name, or best hair or something like that. But I was going to pick Crash, I swear. It was the only of the 5 nominated I had seen so it would have won by default... and you know what they say about winning by default... fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again.
Or something like that.
Give me a break. It's Monday.
Bea
Coming up on Beatrice Petty... American Idol... does it HAVE to be on 3 days a week?
I realized this morning that I had not managed to put up my Oscar predictions, but as I had only seen like 5 out of the any of the movies nominated for any of the awards, it would not have been much of a predictions page as it would have been me just making things up and giving the Oscars to whoever had the coolest name, or best hair or something like that. But I was going to pick Crash, I swear. It was the only of the 5 nominated I had seen so it would have won by default... and you know what they say about winning by default... fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again.
Or something like that.
Give me a break. It's Monday.
Bea
Coming up on Beatrice Petty... American Idol... does it HAVE to be on 3 days a week?
Wednesday
Fancy Balls and Airports
I'm alive!!! Thank goodness...
So last Friday was this amazing Motion Ball Gala in support of Special Olympics. I decided that the best thing I could do to support this worthy cause, besides taking advantage of the free tickets that I was given, was to drink my weight in free booze and NOT actually contribute in any way financially to any number of the several fundraising events taking place throughout the venue. True, that may seem most un-philanthropic at first glance, but the fact that I was physically there in all my glory was the best way I could come up with show how much I care.
Anyway, it was super fun but the weird thing was... I know this has happened to everyone reading this on occasion... unless you have never consumed any potent potables in your hangover-free life... is that no matter how many G&Ts I drank, I couldn't actually get drunk. The disaster that this could have been was slightly abated, mostly due to the fact that I myself was not paying for the drinks... but still, that is besides the point!
Blah blah blah... did some stuff on the weekend... blah blah blah.
Now Monday was interesting, which is a pleasant change from Monday usually being the most annoying day of the week... For Monday was the day that many of our nation's finest athletes were returning to home soil and mostly all were stopping off in Toronto en-route to return from whence they came. My primary job? Make sure the Curlers got to where they needed to go amidst the throng of media and well wishers that were in attendance at the airport. My observations from this event, as well as the other athlete arrivals are as follows:
1) Gold medal winning curlers are like rockstars, especially if they are from Newfoundland.
2) The Gold medals awarded in Turin are shiny and heavy. I got to hold one. You may all bow down to me. But don't touch.
3) Brad Gushue? Adorable.
4) Don't leave Girl alone with above mentioned adorable curler.
5) It takes a long time to get from Terminal 3 to Terminal 1.
6) Some people really do have nothing better to do than to hang out at the airport all day long for a glimpse of someone... anyone.
7) 80-year old women should re-think their decision to spend 2 hours a day in a tanning bed.
8) Yowsers... some photographers are freaking gorgeous.
9) Jeffrey Buttle? Adorable... and bilingual. Who knew?
10) Holy heck Short-track speed skaters are short... oops, I mean vertically challenged. They are not unlike jockeys. Weird.
So it was a fun day of sorts. Long, but fun nonetheless. Friday is just a couple of days away and I am so stoked. Why? Because this will be the first weekend that I can remember in a long time where I will not feel like I have to be checking my work e-mail every 2.5 seconds.
Free at Last, God Almighty I am free at last!
So last Friday was this amazing Motion Ball Gala in support of Special Olympics. I decided that the best thing I could do to support this worthy cause, besides taking advantage of the free tickets that I was given, was to drink my weight in free booze and NOT actually contribute in any way financially to any number of the several fundraising events taking place throughout the venue. True, that may seem most un-philanthropic at first glance, but the fact that I was physically there in all my glory was the best way I could come up with show how much I care.
Anyway, it was super fun but the weird thing was... I know this has happened to everyone reading this on occasion... unless you have never consumed any potent potables in your hangover-free life... is that no matter how many G&Ts I drank, I couldn't actually get drunk. The disaster that this could have been was slightly abated, mostly due to the fact that I myself was not paying for the drinks... but still, that is besides the point!
Blah blah blah... did some stuff on the weekend... blah blah blah.
Now Monday was interesting, which is a pleasant change from Monday usually being the most annoying day of the week... For Monday was the day that many of our nation's finest athletes were returning to home soil and mostly all were stopping off in Toronto en-route to return from whence they came. My primary job? Make sure the Curlers got to where they needed to go amidst the throng of media and well wishers that were in attendance at the airport. My observations from this event, as well as the other athlete arrivals are as follows:
1) Gold medal winning curlers are like rockstars, especially if they are from Newfoundland.
2) The Gold medals awarded in Turin are shiny and heavy. I got to hold one. You may all bow down to me. But don't touch.
3) Brad Gushue? Adorable.
4) Don't leave Girl alone with above mentioned adorable curler.
5) It takes a long time to get from Terminal 3 to Terminal 1.
6) Some people really do have nothing better to do than to hang out at the airport all day long for a glimpse of someone... anyone.
7) 80-year old women should re-think their decision to spend 2 hours a day in a tanning bed.
8) Yowsers... some photographers are freaking gorgeous.
9) Jeffrey Buttle? Adorable... and bilingual. Who knew?
10) Holy heck Short-track speed skaters are short... oops, I mean vertically challenged. They are not unlike jockeys. Weird.
So it was a fun day of sorts. Long, but fun nonetheless. Friday is just a couple of days away and I am so stoked. Why? Because this will be the first weekend that I can remember in a long time where I will not feel like I have to be checking my work e-mail every 2.5 seconds.
Free at Last, God Almighty I am free at last!
Friday
Cant' Talk... Working
Sorry folks,
I SO did not intend to have that post about me being such a loose woman up as the first post you would see for so long, but well... that nasty work stuff again. Although, in all fairness to me, I am no longer lying awake at night stressing out about taking charge of the Curling team when they arrive back in Canada on Monday... or that I must do my best to not bitch-slap Bertuzzi when I see him... and by bitch-slap, I mean jump his bones. Did I say that? Yes I did. No wait... I am lying awake at night thinking about jumping Bertuzzi... Never mind. Shut up.
Anyway, so work has been very, very busy but I have had tonight to look forward to. Girl and I and a couple of other friends will be attending a really cool and fancy Ball this evening, so in fact, I have been lying awake all week stressing out about what to wear to it... which makes it a nice change from the usual things that normally keep me up at night... not including my devil kitten who thinks that sticking his tongue up my nose every 2.5 seconds while I am trying to sleep is a totally appropriate way to show his affection. Yuck.
And tomorrow? Sleep, glorious sleep... until I have to get up and work that is. Are the Olympics over yet?
Ciao,
Bea
I SO did not intend to have that post about me being such a loose woman up as the first post you would see for so long, but well... that nasty work stuff again. Although, in all fairness to me, I am no longer lying awake at night stressing out about taking charge of the Curling team when they arrive back in Canada on Monday... or that I must do my best to not bitch-slap Bertuzzi when I see him... and by bitch-slap, I mean jump his bones. Did I say that? Yes I did. No wait... I am lying awake at night thinking about jumping Bertuzzi... Never mind. Shut up.
Anyway, so work has been very, very busy but I have had tonight to look forward to. Girl and I and a couple of other friends will be attending a really cool and fancy Ball this evening, so in fact, I have been lying awake all week stressing out about what to wear to it... which makes it a nice change from the usual things that normally keep me up at night... not including my devil kitten who thinks that sticking his tongue up my nose every 2.5 seconds while I am trying to sleep is a totally appropriate way to show his affection. Yuck.
And tomorrow? Sleep, glorious sleep... until I have to get up and work that is. Are the Olympics over yet?
Ciao,
Bea
Monday
Chinese Fortune Cookie Says...
OK,
Today is "be frank and possibly offend some people" day on BP.
I had an interesting Saturday night. I had a couple of different functions that I had the option of attending, but was kind of in the mood to just chill out and watch the several discs of The Family Guy that I had rented and eat the delicious chinese food that I had left over from my birthday night. Long story short, my portly and bald Englishman from Wednesday was going to stay home and order chinese food as well... but as I already HAD lots of chinese food left over... Well, he came over.
Anyhoo... you know how things happen... a little bit of MSG... a little bit of wine... a little bit of Family Guy... a little bit of rum... throw in the artist from down the halls' blowout...
And now a little trip to the recent past... After Oreo died, I was in a weird place. With the roomie happily in relationshipland and usually at our place with him, I just kind of felt lost, unhappy, an intruder in my own home etc... And so I turned to the person who was offering me some attention. Ugh. But it was what it was and it was all good. Except for one thing that is...
So, this particular gentleman is a big guy... a tall guy... 6'4"-ish... and no, it was not the former PNB who has since completely disappeared from my life to never be heard from again... nope, it was the "I say IT professional but I really am a security guard at the zoo" guy from while back. Anyway, one expects a big guy, to be, well, big and not, say, the size of a child's thumb. But that's what it was and I am not afraid to admit that I was mildly disappointed. And as much as I would like to say that it ain't how big it is, it's how you use it, I cannot, for in addition to there not really being much there to speak of, he was also unable to "get it up" as they say. Too bad, but not so sad.
Cut to...
Saturday night. Again, it was what it was... and just because I am in no mood to seriously want to date anyone right now doesn't mean that I should deny myself the pleasures of the carnal variety right? I once went 4 years... in the prime of my life no less, without partaking and I swore that I would not let it happen again, so I am not. Plain and simple! I'm sorry if that shocks you.
Well, imagine my surprise when I discovered that my mini-Austin Powers was... um... let's just say that in some areas, he is not so mini. Oddly enough, it reminded me of that scene in Austin Powers with Mini-Me, where Mini-Me uses his you-know-what as a tripod... It was EXACTLY like that. Needless to say that it will be some time before I forget about/not feel the after effects of my chinese-food-Austin Powers inspired evening and morning... wink wink.
I guess my fortune cookie was right... I DO love chinese food. That is the last time I will doubt a random fortune contained in a baked good... for the rest of my life.
Toodles,
Bea
Today is "be frank and possibly offend some people" day on BP.
I had an interesting Saturday night. I had a couple of different functions that I had the option of attending, but was kind of in the mood to just chill out and watch the several discs of The Family Guy that I had rented and eat the delicious chinese food that I had left over from my birthday night. Long story short, my portly and bald Englishman from Wednesday was going to stay home and order chinese food as well... but as I already HAD lots of chinese food left over... Well, he came over.
Anyhoo... you know how things happen... a little bit of MSG... a little bit of wine... a little bit of Family Guy... a little bit of rum... throw in the artist from down the halls' blowout...
And now a little trip to the recent past... After Oreo died, I was in a weird place. With the roomie happily in relationshipland and usually at our place with him, I just kind of felt lost, unhappy, an intruder in my own home etc... And so I turned to the person who was offering me some attention. Ugh. But it was what it was and it was all good. Except for one thing that is...
So, this particular gentleman is a big guy... a tall guy... 6'4"-ish... and no, it was not the former PNB who has since completely disappeared from my life to never be heard from again... nope, it was the "I say IT professional but I really am a security guard at the zoo" guy from while back. Anyway, one expects a big guy, to be, well, big and not, say, the size of a child's thumb. But that's what it was and I am not afraid to admit that I was mildly disappointed. And as much as I would like to say that it ain't how big it is, it's how you use it, I cannot, for in addition to there not really being much there to speak of, he was also unable to "get it up" as they say. Too bad, but not so sad.
Cut to...
Saturday night. Again, it was what it was... and just because I am in no mood to seriously want to date anyone right now doesn't mean that I should deny myself the pleasures of the carnal variety right? I once went 4 years... in the prime of my life no less, without partaking and I swore that I would not let it happen again, so I am not. Plain and simple! I'm sorry if that shocks you.
Well, imagine my surprise when I discovered that my mini-Austin Powers was... um... let's just say that in some areas, he is not so mini. Oddly enough, it reminded me of that scene in Austin Powers with Mini-Me, where Mini-Me uses his you-know-what as a tripod... It was EXACTLY like that. Needless to say that it will be some time before I forget about/not feel the after effects of my chinese-food-Austin Powers inspired evening and morning... wink wink.
I guess my fortune cookie was right... I DO love chinese food. That is the last time I will doubt a random fortune contained in a baked good... for the rest of my life.
Toodles,
Bea
Thursday
Groovy Baby, Yeah!!!
Ok, so maybe portly, bald Englishman didn't say those words exactly, but it really didn't matter because no matter what came out of his mouth he still sounded exactly like Austin Powers. It was brilliant.
But of course, you know that I got the "I had a really great time I'll give you call" hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye and we all know what that means. But in the end, the evening was worth it... despite my bloated gassiness (Bea... the picture of loveliness)... for I learned that I am the greatest pool player of all time. And by "all time" I mean that I am not as hopeless as I once thought. I actually won several games last night which is a marked improvement over just being lucky to sink one ball throughout the duration of the game, which is what had been the case on previous occasions.
Alright, I'm off to get my Olympics on... and have cake... for it is my B-day after all... and I deserve to have my cake... and eat it too!
Ciao,
Birthday Bea
But of course, you know that I got the "I had a really great time I'll give you call" hug and kiss on the cheek goodbye and we all know what that means. But in the end, the evening was worth it... despite my bloated gassiness (Bea... the picture of loveliness)... for I learned that I am the greatest pool player of all time. And by "all time" I mean that I am not as hopeless as I once thought. I actually won several games last night which is a marked improvement over just being lucky to sink one ball throughout the duration of the game, which is what had been the case on previous occasions.
Alright, I'm off to get my Olympics on... and have cake... for it is my B-day after all... and I deserve to have my cake... and eat it too!
Ciao,
Birthday Bea
Wednesday
Still Deluded
Hey All,
So I managed to not have any plans for V-Day save for watching a very fabulous episode of House and talking to my Mommy... and I have also managed to not have anything planned for tomorrow's B-Day... However, I did somehow manage to wrangle up plans for tonight in the form of a date from everybody's favorite fishing site.
I'm not super stoked...
a) because I ate lunchtime Olympic-watching pizza WAY too fast and it has since made me the gassiest person on the planet... Yes, I did just say that and I am not ashamed at all. Flatulence is a natural, albeit mildly disgusting thing but BP is all about honesty so there you have it,
b) because I could care a less about actually meeting anyone right now, and last but not least,
c) because he is a short, portly gentleman with not one single strand of hair on the top of his head. Think George Costanza sans specs. Oh, and did I mention that he is just now finalizing a divorce after having been separated for two years?
So why the heck am I even bothering? Um... Did I also mentioned that he is from England?
I think that's about all I need to say.
Cheerio,
Bea
So I managed to not have any plans for V-Day save for watching a very fabulous episode of House and talking to my Mommy... and I have also managed to not have anything planned for tomorrow's B-Day... However, I did somehow manage to wrangle up plans for tonight in the form of a date from everybody's favorite fishing site.
I'm not super stoked...
a) because I ate lunchtime Olympic-watching pizza WAY too fast and it has since made me the gassiest person on the planet... Yes, I did just say that and I am not ashamed at all. Flatulence is a natural, albeit mildly disgusting thing but BP is all about honesty so there you have it,
b) because I could care a less about actually meeting anyone right now, and last but not least,
c) because he is a short, portly gentleman with not one single strand of hair on the top of his head. Think George Costanza sans specs. Oh, and did I mention that he is just now finalizing a divorce after having been separated for two years?
So why the heck am I even bothering? Um... Did I also mentioned that he is from England?
I think that's about all I need to say.
Cheerio,
Bea
Tuesday
The Day That Shall Not Be Named
Oh goody!
Valentine's Day is here once again. I've never been a big fan of the day myself. Since I have been old enough to be into the opposite sex, I seem to have developed this curious knack for always being single on Valentine's Day. Of course, there have been a few exceptions, but for some inexplicable reason, I will either break up with the person I am with just days before VD, or I will meet a great fella just days after or, as has been the case since I moved to this fine city... just not meet anyone at all. It used to frustrate me to no end but thankfully that is no longer the case as being frustrated takes up too much darn mental energy and I have decided to do my utmost to not dwell on things that take up too much of my mental energy. Here are some other things that I choose not to dwell on at the particular moment:
1) Being single period. No offence to any men out there who may be reading this, but I just do not get what goes on inside your heads sometimes. So, I have chosen to not even bother. If you want to woo a girl with incessant flattery and speak to no end about how much you want to be with her, and then turn around and throw her to the curb when she breaks down and relents to your endless attempts at physical intimacy, you go right ahead. It is not for me to try and figure out what is going on in that pretty little head of yours. All I need to do is sit back and let Karma work it's magic (I feel the need to mention briefly that the above did not happen to me... for once... this time... although I am sure at some point in my dating life it has...). For now, single is where this girl is at and not looking to meet anyone anytime soon!
2) The fact that I will be one year older in 2 days. I used to love to celebrate my birthday but I found as I started to approach a certain age that I started enjoying it less and less. In fact, it started to depress me. As thoughts of getting older and not being where I thought I would be, both personally and professionally began to constantly swirl around my brain, I found that each passing year added to that anxiety. This year, however, I have done a 180. Instead of stressing out about it... trying to figure out what the next year will bring... and even more stressful, trying to come up with a fun way to celebrate... I have decided that I am just going to let this one go. To let it pass with very little fan fair and save myself for St. Paddy's Day.
3) The past month. January was a rather difficult month for me. I found that what I really needed after Oreo died was some time alone to grieve in peace and this I was not able to get. In some ways it embittered me and what should have been a great start to the new year became a total disaster. When the roommie lost someone close to her last year, she likened herself to a rage ball... and that is probably the best way to describe it.
But then I got Hugh and that seems to have helped with filling the hole that had been created when Oreo passed. I still feel a little lost but instead of dwelling on what did happen, I am going to focus on what will happen... focus on turing this year around and getting schtuff accomplished. The past month I have been fearful of getting back to my writing, for at the exact moment that Oreo was slipping away in the loft, I was in town at a cafe with the inspiration to finish of the story that I have been working on for a few years now. I will never know if the triumphant "Ah Ha!" moment that I experienced that day with regards to the ending that I was unable to come up with for the better part of the year occurred at the exact moment that she passed, but it would have been pretty damn close. The thought that the universe gave me something very great while taking away something very dear to me has been quite difficult to deal with. I have not been able to put pencil to paper since that time for fear that it might happen again. But in the spirit of not dwelling I will get back to it forthwith. It's a finished story for crying out loud. It is why I moved to this city in the first place after all.
4) Work. Ugh... I enjoy my job, and it truly is not a difficult job at all. A monkey could do it for the most part... granted it would have to be a highly gifted monkey... but a monkey nonetheless. Anyway, with too many restless and sleepless nights caused by thoughts of work in recent months, I really need to nip this in the bud. It's not like people will die if I don't respond to a request within 2.5 seconds... or that the fate of the world hangs on whether or not I get something edited in time. Take some deep breaths and just let it all go at night... Hello meditation, goodbye night time work anxiety!
I guess that's about it. Looking back to what I read, it does not really seem like all that much actually. And definitely seems quite manageable. It's amazing how putting something down in writing and just getting it all out can work wonders for the soul.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
TTFN,
Bea
PS... speaking of rage balls, please follow the link below to what may or may not be my roommie's review of the Lord of the Rings musical that she may or may not have gone to see with her BF this past weekend. For those of you, like myself, who have entertained thoughts and or been really excited to go see this I suggest reading it from start to finish. If you still decide to go and see it, good luck... Ye be warned!
http://lotrintoronto.blogspot.com/
Valentine's Day is here once again. I've never been a big fan of the day myself. Since I have been old enough to be into the opposite sex, I seem to have developed this curious knack for always being single on Valentine's Day. Of course, there have been a few exceptions, but for some inexplicable reason, I will either break up with the person I am with just days before VD, or I will meet a great fella just days after or, as has been the case since I moved to this fine city... just not meet anyone at all. It used to frustrate me to no end but thankfully that is no longer the case as being frustrated takes up too much darn mental energy and I have decided to do my utmost to not dwell on things that take up too much of my mental energy. Here are some other things that I choose not to dwell on at the particular moment:
1) Being single period. No offence to any men out there who may be reading this, but I just do not get what goes on inside your heads sometimes. So, I have chosen to not even bother. If you want to woo a girl with incessant flattery and speak to no end about how much you want to be with her, and then turn around and throw her to the curb when she breaks down and relents to your endless attempts at physical intimacy, you go right ahead. It is not for me to try and figure out what is going on in that pretty little head of yours. All I need to do is sit back and let Karma work it's magic (I feel the need to mention briefly that the above did not happen to me... for once... this time... although I am sure at some point in my dating life it has...). For now, single is where this girl is at and not looking to meet anyone anytime soon!
2) The fact that I will be one year older in 2 days. I used to love to celebrate my birthday but I found as I started to approach a certain age that I started enjoying it less and less. In fact, it started to depress me. As thoughts of getting older and not being where I thought I would be, both personally and professionally began to constantly swirl around my brain, I found that each passing year added to that anxiety. This year, however, I have done a 180. Instead of stressing out about it... trying to figure out what the next year will bring... and even more stressful, trying to come up with a fun way to celebrate... I have decided that I am just going to let this one go. To let it pass with very little fan fair and save myself for St. Paddy's Day.
3) The past month. January was a rather difficult month for me. I found that what I really needed after Oreo died was some time alone to grieve in peace and this I was not able to get. In some ways it embittered me and what should have been a great start to the new year became a total disaster. When the roommie lost someone close to her last year, she likened herself to a rage ball... and that is probably the best way to describe it.
But then I got Hugh and that seems to have helped with filling the hole that had been created when Oreo passed. I still feel a little lost but instead of dwelling on what did happen, I am going to focus on what will happen... focus on turing this year around and getting schtuff accomplished. The past month I have been fearful of getting back to my writing, for at the exact moment that Oreo was slipping away in the loft, I was in town at a cafe with the inspiration to finish of the story that I have been working on for a few years now. I will never know if the triumphant "Ah Ha!" moment that I experienced that day with regards to the ending that I was unable to come up with for the better part of the year occurred at the exact moment that she passed, but it would have been pretty damn close. The thought that the universe gave me something very great while taking away something very dear to me has been quite difficult to deal with. I have not been able to put pencil to paper since that time for fear that it might happen again. But in the spirit of not dwelling I will get back to it forthwith. It's a finished story for crying out loud. It is why I moved to this city in the first place after all.
4) Work. Ugh... I enjoy my job, and it truly is not a difficult job at all. A monkey could do it for the most part... granted it would have to be a highly gifted monkey... but a monkey nonetheless. Anyway, with too many restless and sleepless nights caused by thoughts of work in recent months, I really need to nip this in the bud. It's not like people will die if I don't respond to a request within 2.5 seconds... or that the fate of the world hangs on whether or not I get something edited in time. Take some deep breaths and just let it all go at night... Hello meditation, goodbye night time work anxiety!
I guess that's about it. Looking back to what I read, it does not really seem like all that much actually. And definitely seems quite manageable. It's amazing how putting something down in writing and just getting it all out can work wonders for the soul.
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!
TTFN,
Bea
PS... speaking of rage balls, please follow the link below to what may or may not be my roommie's review of the Lord of the Rings musical that she may or may not have gone to see with her BF this past weekend. For those of you, like myself, who have entertained thoughts and or been really excited to go see this I suggest reading it from start to finish. If you still decide to go and see it, good luck... Ye be warned!
http://lotrintoronto.blogspot.com/
Thursday
Today is Gripe day
Hi All,
I'm not in a particularly fowl mood today. Truth be told I had a pretty decent night's sleep and work has died down for the next little while so I am able to catch up and all that jazz... True, not much from Mr. Second Date although "I've been in training all this week" could qualify as an excuse of sorts... sigh... I suppose I must make do with that.
But that doesn't mean that I don't got nuttin to complain about... Not to worry, I won't start in on the annoying girl on the bus this morning who insisted on cracking her gum the whole way to the subway station, despite all the dirty looks that everyone around her were sending her way. I've said it before and I will say it again: Cracking gum is one of the most unattractive and annoying habits that one can do in public. If you want to do it in the privacy of your own home, then so be it, just don't be surprised when your boyfriend leaves you and your dog mauls you to death...
No, my gripe today has to do with those folks who have no common sense. In my world... and granted, my world is one where asking for help is the last resort in any circumstance... hence my back going out from when I dragged my new wrought iron king-size headboard up my 45 degree inclined stairs... This is especially the case when it comes to finding information on just about anything. A small, but rather tiresome part of my job is responding to e-mails that come from people just like you through our generic e-mail address. These questions can be just about anything and can be simple or quite in-depth... a wide range. Anyway, I came to this conclusion a few minutes ago...
99% of all the questions people ask can be answered by doing a 2.5 second Google search. And so my gripe is thus...
Are people really that inept that the first thing they think of to do is to write to some anonymous person who more than likely has better things to do with their time than to answer their easy as pie questions? True, I say this as a person who would rather die than ask someone for help, but come on... If you've both managed to find our website and have the capability to send an e-mail then you must have at least an iota of a clue as to how to "search" for "things" on the "internet".
Dear Person Whose Time I Am Going To Waste,
I am wondering if you could help me find information on *insert something at random here*?
Sincerely,
Lazy Time Waster
Dear Lazy Time Waster,
I assume that your last slave died from over work so please find following a link to a site that I found after doing a search on *insert favorite search engine here*. For your information, it was the first hit that came up AND that was even AFTER I had completely mis-spelled it.
For future reference, please also find a link to *insert favorite search engine here* so that the next time you are looking for information you can do it on your own, without bothering highly important people such as myself. I can assure you that it is very rewarding when you accomplish something all on your own.
Sincerely,
The Most Important Person In The Entire World
In a perfect world...
I'm not in a particularly fowl mood today. Truth be told I had a pretty decent night's sleep and work has died down for the next little while so I am able to catch up and all that jazz... True, not much from Mr. Second Date although "I've been in training all this week" could qualify as an excuse of sorts... sigh... I suppose I must make do with that.
But that doesn't mean that I don't got nuttin to complain about... Not to worry, I won't start in on the annoying girl on the bus this morning who insisted on cracking her gum the whole way to the subway station, despite all the dirty looks that everyone around her were sending her way. I've said it before and I will say it again: Cracking gum is one of the most unattractive and annoying habits that one can do in public. If you want to do it in the privacy of your own home, then so be it, just don't be surprised when your boyfriend leaves you and your dog mauls you to death...
No, my gripe today has to do with those folks who have no common sense. In my world... and granted, my world is one where asking for help is the last resort in any circumstance... hence my back going out from when I dragged my new wrought iron king-size headboard up my 45 degree inclined stairs... This is especially the case when it comes to finding information on just about anything. A small, but rather tiresome part of my job is responding to e-mails that come from people just like you through our generic e-mail address. These questions can be just about anything and can be simple or quite in-depth... a wide range. Anyway, I came to this conclusion a few minutes ago...
99% of all the questions people ask can be answered by doing a 2.5 second Google search. And so my gripe is thus...
Are people really that inept that the first thing they think of to do is to write to some anonymous person who more than likely has better things to do with their time than to answer their easy as pie questions? True, I say this as a person who would rather die than ask someone for help, but come on... If you've both managed to find our website and have the capability to send an e-mail then you must have at least an iota of a clue as to how to "search" for "things" on the "internet".
Dear Person Whose Time I Am Going To Waste,
I am wondering if you could help me find information on *insert something at random here*?
Sincerely,
Lazy Time Waster
Dear Lazy Time Waster,
I assume that your last slave died from over work so please find following a link to a site that I found after doing a search on *insert favorite search engine here*. For your information, it was the first hit that came up AND that was even AFTER I had completely mis-spelled it.
For future reference, please also find a link to *insert favorite search engine here* so that the next time you are looking for information you can do it on your own, without bothering highly important people such as myself. I can assure you that it is very rewarding when you accomplish something all on your own.
Sincerely,
The Most Important Person In The Entire World
In a perfect world...
Wednesday
Excuses Excuses
Thanks for welcoming the little fella y'all. He really is the most adorable thing ever, albeit a total nightmare. It's been so long since I have had a kitten that I am not sure if things that he does are normal, or if he is just a total freak. I'm going with total freak because... it's just more fun.
Unfortunately for all of you, little Hugh is about all I will have to talk about over the next little while as I have decided to take a bit of a break from the world of single and looking. Why is that? I can hear you all asking. Just frustrated... once again... and I am not even blaming Sod this time... this one is pure me. It just thoroughly amazes me how I can go on two really great dates with someone, with us both having a really great time on both (or so it had appeared)... with a few stolen kisses thrown in along the way ... get my hopes up ... and then *poof* ... nothing.
Not even an "It's not you it's me" kiss off... since when did guys stop making excuses for themselves? It's so much more fun to hear things like "I really like you but...":
"I just broke up with someone a week ago and we were together for 5 years... and I realized that I am not quite over her... sorry..."
"I'm sorry, you just don't give me butterflies... I like you enough to still want to sleep with you though, I just don't actually want to put in any sort of effort... and only as long as I can keep you as my dirty little secret... and only when I feel like it..."
"I did a lot of thinking about my future and I realized that you weren't in it..."
"I have 5 other women that I am meeting this week. I'll let you know if none of them work out..."
"You remind me too much of a girl I knew in high school and HATED..."
"I can't see you anymore because I took a job in Australia..."
"And I know we have been dating for 3 months, but I can't see you anymore because I don't want to get 'involved'..."
"I can't go out with you anymore because I have to go into rehab for my gambling addiction..."
"I can't see you anymore because I find your intelligence and keen wit immasculating..."
"I can't see you anymore because my girlfriend is upstairs..."
WHERE IS MY EXCUSE DAMNIT???
I'm a good person... at least my Mommy thinks so.
Bea
Unfortunately for all of you, little Hugh is about all I will have to talk about over the next little while as I have decided to take a bit of a break from the world of single and looking. Why is that? I can hear you all asking. Just frustrated... once again... and I am not even blaming Sod this time... this one is pure me. It just thoroughly amazes me how I can go on two really great dates with someone, with us both having a really great time on both (or so it had appeared)... with a few stolen kisses thrown in along the way ... get my hopes up ... and then *poof* ... nothing.
Not even an "It's not you it's me" kiss off... since when did guys stop making excuses for themselves? It's so much more fun to hear things like "I really like you but...":
"I just broke up with someone a week ago and we were together for 5 years... and I realized that I am not quite over her... sorry..."
"I'm sorry, you just don't give me butterflies... I like you enough to still want to sleep with you though, I just don't actually want to put in any sort of effort... and only as long as I can keep you as my dirty little secret... and only when I feel like it..."
"I did a lot of thinking about my future and I realized that you weren't in it..."
"I have 5 other women that I am meeting this week. I'll let you know if none of them work out..."
"You remind me too much of a girl I knew in high school and HATED..."
"I can't see you anymore because I took a job in Australia..."
"And I know we have been dating for 3 months, but I can't see you anymore because I don't want to get 'involved'..."
"I can't go out with you anymore because I have to go into rehab for my gambling addiction..."
"I can't see you anymore because I find your intelligence and keen wit immasculating..."
"I can't see you anymore because my girlfriend is upstairs..."
WHERE IS MY EXCUSE DAMNIT???
I'm a good person... at least my Mommy thinks so.
Bea
Monday
Meet Hugh...
Soon to be the new love of my life I am sure... especially since I don't think my all day date with Mr. Second Date from Saturday will be happening again...
He's just not that into you if... *insert everything from the book here.*
Poo. But thankfully, I now have little Hugh to love and hug and kiss all over. True, he is a little furry, but so was Mr. Second Date so it's all good. And he's no Oreo... but he can actually jump up onto things... and run... and go up the stairs without hopping... and do the other things that mildly overweight cats are unable to do... and by mildly, I mean really, really, really.
Thursday
I'm Alive
I swear!
Yes, the whole Oreo thing kind of messed me up, and is still doing so to some degree. I am torn with sort of wanting to get a new cat because I miss having a little creature to welcome me when I get home... and Spaz has taken to meowing at the top of his lungs in the middle of the night looking for his friend which does not helps one's beauty sleep... but I am afraid that it might be too soon. I am sure that it will all sort itself out shortly... so let's call an end to this particular chapter in my life.
And now for something completely different...
Actually, the non-posts were caused not so much by kitty issues, but due to work being so ridiculously and insanely ridiculous. I work in the Olympic field. The Olympics are coming up in February. I took two weeks off at Christmas... I am not sure what the mathematical equation I would need to use in order to express what sort of busy-ness that actually translates to, but it might go something like this:
(Todd Bertuzzi hate mail + Flag bearer controversy) x Team Handbook disaster + Italy is far - people won't stop bugging me = stupid busy
Or something like that. This is the first day where I have actually been able to take care of things that have had to take a back seat to the above... BP included. Yay...
And on the personal life front? Funny you should ask. I decided that the best way to cheer myself up after the demise of my most beloved friend was to get off my ass and start meeting some fish. And what of it? In a nut shell...
Met a stick up his ass mini-Stephen Harper (he wore a suit to a Saturday afternoon coffee date)who I had at first thought to make a little project out of, but decided that the fact that he has never not lived with his parents and attends a "Christian-other" church (would somebody PLEASE explain to me what Christian-other entails?) every Sunday morning might conflict with certain activities that this "project" would have entailed. I never did actually meet the 45 year old man who did not see anything wrong with listing his age as 32. Am close to extracting myself from the "IT Professional" who was in actuality a security guard at the Zoo.
But... and just so you don't think that it is all bad news... I am going on a second date with a guy who I actually might be interested in. Granted, he is divorced and lives in his Mom's basement... and he doesn't actually live in Toronto... but he likes cats and Monty Python and at this point... I think you might know where I am going with that statement. Can you say "Lowered Expectations?"
I knew you could.
Later,
Bea
Yes, the whole Oreo thing kind of messed me up, and is still doing so to some degree. I am torn with sort of wanting to get a new cat because I miss having a little creature to welcome me when I get home... and Spaz has taken to meowing at the top of his lungs in the middle of the night looking for his friend which does not helps one's beauty sleep... but I am afraid that it might be too soon. I am sure that it will all sort itself out shortly... so let's call an end to this particular chapter in my life.
And now for something completely different...
Actually, the non-posts were caused not so much by kitty issues, but due to work being so ridiculously and insanely ridiculous. I work in the Olympic field. The Olympics are coming up in February. I took two weeks off at Christmas... I am not sure what the mathematical equation I would need to use in order to express what sort of busy-ness that actually translates to, but it might go something like this:
(Todd Bertuzzi hate mail + Flag bearer controversy) x Team Handbook disaster + Italy is far - people won't stop bugging me = stupid busy
Or something like that. This is the first day where I have actually been able to take care of things that have had to take a back seat to the above... BP included. Yay...
And on the personal life front? Funny you should ask. I decided that the best way to cheer myself up after the demise of my most beloved friend was to get off my ass and start meeting some fish. And what of it? In a nut shell...
Met a stick up his ass mini-Stephen Harper (he wore a suit to a Saturday afternoon coffee date)who I had at first thought to make a little project out of, but decided that the fact that he has never not lived with his parents and attends a "Christian-other" church (would somebody PLEASE explain to me what Christian-other entails?) every Sunday morning might conflict with certain activities that this "project" would have entailed. I never did actually meet the 45 year old man who did not see anything wrong with listing his age as 32. Am close to extracting myself from the "IT Professional" who was in actuality a security guard at the Zoo.
But... and just so you don't think that it is all bad news... I am going on a second date with a guy who I actually might be interested in. Granted, he is divorced and lives in his Mom's basement... and he doesn't actually live in Toronto... but he likes cats and Monty Python and at this point... I think you might know where I am going with that statement. Can you say "Lowered Expectations?"
I knew you could.
Later,
Bea
Tuesday
Hey There
Hi Folks,
It's been about 2 weeks since the little one left to go to a better place and I am finally able to talk about it without crying like a weepy little girl. I would like to thank everyone for all the well wishes that were sent. It was truly appreciated...
Anyhoo, that's about all. I just wanted all two of you who still check back that I am alive and doing well... mostly.
It's been about 2 weeks since the little one left to go to a better place and I am finally able to talk about it without crying like a weepy little girl. I would like to thank everyone for all the well wishes that were sent. It was truly appreciated...
Anyhoo, that's about all. I just wanted all two of you who still check back that I am alive and doing well... mostly.
Monday
Island Livin'
Hello All!
From the other side of the country. I made it, kitty made it. Actually, kitty did better than I did... Here's a little factoid about Bea and travel.
I am one of those rare people who ALWAYS requests an aisle seat when they travel by plane. Why? Well, for whatever reason, as soon as I wake up on the day that I am getting on a plane, my body knows and plots against me. I ask for aisle seats, not because I don't like to look out the window, but because I don't want to be "that" person. You know, the one who is constantly climbing over the other two people to go to the bathroom and times it just when they have fallen into a deep sleep. Yep, that's me when I am in the window seat. And so, as usual I request my aisle seat and get told that as I am traveling with a cat, I HAVE to take the window seat.
And that's when my body decided that not only was it going to shrink my bladder to the size of a grain of sand thus turning every drop of liquid that passed though my lips into little droplets of evil... but that it was also going to be turned into a temple... a temple dedicated to the God Gassius Methanus. All I am going to say is that my flight was NOT exactly the most fun one ever.
And now I am on a wee little island about to head into the village to plunk myself down at a little seaside cafe and let the creative juices flow. How much am I loving being on holiday? So much that to put it in writing would not do it justice.
Laters,
Bea
From the other side of the country. I made it, kitty made it. Actually, kitty did better than I did... Here's a little factoid about Bea and travel.
I am one of those rare people who ALWAYS requests an aisle seat when they travel by plane. Why? Well, for whatever reason, as soon as I wake up on the day that I am getting on a plane, my body knows and plots against me. I ask for aisle seats, not because I don't like to look out the window, but because I don't want to be "that" person. You know, the one who is constantly climbing over the other two people to go to the bathroom and times it just when they have fallen into a deep sleep. Yep, that's me when I am in the window seat. And so, as usual I request my aisle seat and get told that as I am traveling with a cat, I HAVE to take the window seat.
And that's when my body decided that not only was it going to shrink my bladder to the size of a grain of sand thus turning every drop of liquid that passed though my lips into little droplets of evil... but that it was also going to be turned into a temple... a temple dedicated to the God Gassius Methanus. All I am going to say is that my flight was NOT exactly the most fun one ever.
And now I am on a wee little island about to head into the village to plunk myself down at a little seaside cafe and let the creative juices flow. How much am I loving being on holiday? So much that to put it in writing would not do it justice.
Laters,
Bea
Thursday
A Few Observations
Now that my social life has been put on hold for the time being, as I am due to go back to the mini-island from whence I came very shortly (and I am done fishing for the time being)... this of course, assumes that the bazillion feet of snow that we are expecting over the next 24 hours does not wreak havoc with my flight like it did last year. Fingers crossed that I am flying with an airline who will not choose to go belly up 2 days before Christmas like last time... I said fingers crossed dammit!!! That's' right, both of them... Thank you.
Anyway, I've been making metal notes of various things that I have noticed. Observances if you will and I've been dying to put them down as reference for when and if I ever decide to pick up the pen and write a letter to the editor, mayor etc... I like to think of them as suggestions on how to make living in the big city better for EVERYONE. Here is one that comes up pretty much on a daily basis...
Some things should not be allowed on public transit during rush hour. Now, if anyone out there frequently uses mass transit to commute to and from work, regardless of what city you live in, I think you'll be able to relate. Here is a list of items/behaviours that make it very awkward for the rest of us to have a comfortable commute... which is practically impossible even under the best of circumstances: giant rolls of carpeting big enough to carpet your entire house, big dogs that bark, entire classrooms of students on field trips, bags of hockey equipment enough to outfit an entire team, anything sharp and pointy, eating McDonalds, a ghetto blaster cranked to the max with crappy rap music (or any other kind of music for that matter), people preaching openly about Jesus and about going to hell for your lack of enthusiasm and belief therein...
I have so many more but I feel I must away to the loft before I get caught up in snow drifts...
Yikes!
Anyway, I've been making metal notes of various things that I have noticed. Observances if you will and I've been dying to put them down as reference for when and if I ever decide to pick up the pen and write a letter to the editor, mayor etc... I like to think of them as suggestions on how to make living in the big city better for EVERYONE. Here is one that comes up pretty much on a daily basis...
Some things should not be allowed on public transit during rush hour. Now, if anyone out there frequently uses mass transit to commute to and from work, regardless of what city you live in, I think you'll be able to relate. Here is a list of items/behaviours that make it very awkward for the rest of us to have a comfortable commute... which is practically impossible even under the best of circumstances: giant rolls of carpeting big enough to carpet your entire house, big dogs that bark, entire classrooms of students on field trips, bags of hockey equipment enough to outfit an entire team, anything sharp and pointy, eating McDonalds, a ghetto blaster cranked to the max with crappy rap music (or any other kind of music for that matter), people preaching openly about Jesus and about going to hell for your lack of enthusiasm and belief therein...
I have so many more but I feel I must away to the loft before I get caught up in snow drifts...
Yikes!
Tuesday
Mr. Right Now???
... Is Mr. No Longer... unofficially anyway, but I am sure my body language was pretty loud and clear.
You know when you are supposedly interested in someone and you hang on their every word and actually give a care about what they are saying? Their thoughts, feelings, ideas, opinions etc...
Last night was kind of the opposite of that. Don't get me wrong, he is a nice guy... but I have to be honest and ask myself...
"Do I really want to hear another story about what it is like to be a night security guard at the Zoo?"
And the answer would be...
"No."
I'm kidding... sort of... not really. Actually, there are issues that run deeper than the fact that he isn't all that exciting and just won't challenge me like I need to be... fundamental issues that the two of us have spent the entire time skirting around, although we both know they are there. Issues such as one of us being a big fan of Bush... actually we are both fans of Bush although for me, being a fan of Bush entails the musical stylings of one adorable Gavin Rossdale as opposed to the president of our neighbours to the south... issues of one of us being for the war in Iraq, one against... pro-guns vs. anti-guns... pro-fundamental human rights vs. anti-fundamental human rights... you know, those sorts of happy little things.
Don't get me wrong, I am not looking for someone with the same opinions as me... as someone who loves to debate that would be awfully boring. But there are just some things that one cannot reconcile... also, I was kind of pissed that he didn't drive me home last week after our movie.
Yep, I'm a big baby.
Bea
You know when you are supposedly interested in someone and you hang on their every word and actually give a care about what they are saying? Their thoughts, feelings, ideas, opinions etc...
Last night was kind of the opposite of that. Don't get me wrong, he is a nice guy... but I have to be honest and ask myself...
"Do I really want to hear another story about what it is like to be a night security guard at the Zoo?"
And the answer would be...
"No."
I'm kidding... sort of... not really. Actually, there are issues that run deeper than the fact that he isn't all that exciting and just won't challenge me like I need to be... fundamental issues that the two of us have spent the entire time skirting around, although we both know they are there. Issues such as one of us being a big fan of Bush... actually we are both fans of Bush although for me, being a fan of Bush entails the musical stylings of one adorable Gavin Rossdale as opposed to the president of our neighbours to the south... issues of one of us being for the war in Iraq, one against... pro-guns vs. anti-guns... pro-fundamental human rights vs. anti-fundamental human rights... you know, those sorts of happy little things.
Don't get me wrong, I am not looking for someone with the same opinions as me... as someone who loves to debate that would be awfully boring. But there are just some things that one cannot reconcile... also, I was kind of pissed that he didn't drive me home last week after our movie.
Yep, I'm a big baby.
Bea
Monday
I've Found Mr. Right...
... Right Now, that is.
I've not been up to a whole heck of a lot, hence the lack of postings for the past few days however... I have seemingly met someone who seemingly seems to be interested... or so it would seem. T'was my "keep in touch" fella who is doing an excellent job at keeping on touch. We went out again last week and will again go out tonight.
Normally, this would have yours truly all very excited etc... (because like omg... Bea on a second/third date???) but I just cannot find it. There are lots of reasons most of which make me sound like a horribly shallow person.
What can I say? He misrepresented what he does for a living, and now that I know the whole truth... meh... whatever. And don't get me started on the plethora of model police cruisers he has strategically placed all around his apartment...
So I guess I like him enough to want to see him again... but if pressed to actually start something more serious? Let's just say that I am pretty sure that I know exactly how the former-PNB felt about me about the same time last year. Kind of weird the shoe being on the other foot. I don't like it. I prefer my shoes to be on the same foot that they were designed for, as opposed to walking all duck-footed.
Anyway, you've got the update and now I must get back to work, for I leave this weekend for beautiful BC and some time with the fam. I fear that Christmas just will not be as much fun last year as my Mother has dis-invited my crazy uncle from this Christmas, as well as all future ones. T'is a pity really, because... call me crazy, but doesn't every family need a drunken uncle whose gifts consist of items stolen from construction sites and garbage dumpsters at their holiday celebration? I thought so...
Laters,
BP
I've not been up to a whole heck of a lot, hence the lack of postings for the past few days however... I have seemingly met someone who seemingly seems to be interested... or so it would seem. T'was my "keep in touch" fella who is doing an excellent job at keeping on touch. We went out again last week and will again go out tonight.
Normally, this would have yours truly all very excited etc... (because like omg... Bea on a second/third date???) but I just cannot find it. There are lots of reasons most of which make me sound like a horribly shallow person.
What can I say? He misrepresented what he does for a living, and now that I know the whole truth... meh... whatever. And don't get me started on the plethora of model police cruisers he has strategically placed all around his apartment...
So I guess I like him enough to want to see him again... but if pressed to actually start something more serious? Let's just say that I am pretty sure that I know exactly how the former-PNB felt about me about the same time last year. Kind of weird the shoe being on the other foot. I don't like it. I prefer my shoes to be on the same foot that they were designed for, as opposed to walking all duck-footed.
Anyway, you've got the update and now I must get back to work, for I leave this weekend for beautiful BC and some time with the fam. I fear that Christmas just will not be as much fun last year as my Mother has dis-invited my crazy uncle from this Christmas, as well as all future ones. T'is a pity really, because... call me crazy, but doesn't every family need a drunken uncle whose gifts consist of items stolen from construction sites and garbage dumpsters at their holiday celebration? I thought so...
Laters,
BP
Wednesday
Houston, We Have a Problem...
In my last posting I included an email that the roomie received via the ichthyological dating site that we both have gotten a huge kick out of. And because I am never one to be out done by said roomie, I thought I would share my recent correspondence with our little friend from Houston.
E-mail #1
i know u i thinki saw u last night in my dream i was sleep only 7 mint and u play ur role for 3 mint--lol
please ignore my english (lol
i m from here doing textile
i just move here from houston
and u
i love hosue music in club
i m film student too
i had car accident that y i stop my study in these days hope fully i will start in jan
and u
missreply me pls
i m not stupid to tell my storybut i feel stupid to sell myself
i m for sale
+ about 30 different emoticons
E-mail #2 (written about 2.5 seconds after I read the first one)
no plan for reply
i know usendme but ur msg missiissng
reply again
E-Mail #3
R U BAD GURL BCZ BAD GURL ALWAYS NO REPLY
BAD GURLLLLLLLL
I would like to mention here that I did respond to him after his last e-mail and politely explained that it is not unusual for people who are not interested to just simply not reply. I thanked him for his interest and wished him luck... what else could I do? I actually now believe that his car accident did more than just stop his studies. Poor guy.
On a happier note, although not necessarily a more eloquent one, I am meeting with Friday's Guy for dinner and a movie tomorrow... I know, it's a school night but alas, what one must do in the name of one's social life.
TTFN,
Bea
ps... A bummer about House eh? Stupid Billboard Music Awards...
E-mail #1
i know u i thinki saw u last night in my dream i was sleep only 7 mint and u play ur role for 3 mint--lol
please ignore my english (lol
i m from here doing textile
i just move here from houston
and u
i love hosue music in club
i m film student too
i had car accident that y i stop my study in these days hope fully i will start in jan
and u
missreply me pls
i m not stupid to tell my storybut i feel stupid to sell myself
i m for sale
+ about 30 different emoticons
E-mail #2 (written about 2.5 seconds after I read the first one)
no plan for reply
i know usendme but ur msg missiissng
reply again
E-Mail #3
R U BAD GURL BCZ BAD GURL ALWAYS NO REPLY
BAD GURLLLLLLLL
I would like to mention here that I did respond to him after his last e-mail and politely explained that it is not unusual for people who are not interested to just simply not reply. I thanked him for his interest and wished him luck... what else could I do? I actually now believe that his car accident did more than just stop his studies. Poor guy.
On a happier note, although not necessarily a more eloquent one, I am meeting with Friday's Guy for dinner and a movie tomorrow... I know, it's a school night but alas, what one must do in the name of one's social life.
TTFN,
Bea
ps... A bummer about House eh? Stupid Billboard Music Awards...
Monday
"Keep In Touch..."
Was what my date from Friday said at the end of our phone conversation the next day. I was forced to reflect back on a posting I did a while ago about the etiquette on wanting to see someone again and I had to admit, "keep in touch" was one that I hadn't really come across... until now. What did it mean?
Apparently I have become much more "blunt" in the past while so instead of spending countless hours of speculation on just what exactly "keep in touch" meant... was it a "I had a lot of fun and for sure we should go out again so make sure to keep in touch" keep in touch... or was it a "I really have no desire to ever want to go out again but I am going to say keep in touch because it is a heck of a lot nicer than saying that straight out" keep in touch?
I had to know... so I asked straight out... and pleasantly enough, the answer was the former... sort of... although a more formal response I could not possible have gotten. Think business reply email...
Dear Bea; (yes, semi-column was in there)
Thank you for your e-mail. As stated on Friday I am not really looking to get involved with someone right away but if I did meet someone and it went well, I might reconsider. That being said, I would like to see you again. Perhaps we can go to Office Depot and go pen shopping, or perhaps dinner and a movie where we might have some popcorn. I might get butter or I might not. I have not yet decided. As I stated on Friday, I am not much of a butter lover but on the right bucket of popcorn, say, if it were freshly popped, I might reconsider. Keep in touch.
Sincerely,
Guy
Ok, so he did no suggest pen shopping, but it was kind of a weird email. Speaking of weird emails, Molly got this little gem the other day on that crazy ass free dating site:
hi this is me from hill
i read ur profle is nice
b4 u read my mail please ignore my english--lol
i just move here from houston
i start my textile bussienss here
i m film student too
i trance and house
and u i had a car accident that y i stop my studyin these days
i m looking nice and decent lady here--r u ?
may i knowu ?
reply must
I tried to tell her NOT to go out with him... but she just would not listen...she's a sucker for poor grammar and nonsensical ramblings. She'd have to be... she puts up with me after all.
Also, is there another Houston... like say, Houston, Turkey... or Houston, Poland? Houston, Mars? Just wondering.
Ta,
Bea
Apparently I have become much more "blunt" in the past while so instead of spending countless hours of speculation on just what exactly "keep in touch" meant... was it a "I had a lot of fun and for sure we should go out again so make sure to keep in touch" keep in touch... or was it a "I really have no desire to ever want to go out again but I am going to say keep in touch because it is a heck of a lot nicer than saying that straight out" keep in touch?
I had to know... so I asked straight out... and pleasantly enough, the answer was the former... sort of... although a more formal response I could not possible have gotten. Think business reply email...
Dear Bea; (yes, semi-column was in there)
Thank you for your e-mail. As stated on Friday I am not really looking to get involved with someone right away but if I did meet someone and it went well, I might reconsider. That being said, I would like to see you again. Perhaps we can go to Office Depot and go pen shopping, or perhaps dinner and a movie where we might have some popcorn. I might get butter or I might not. I have not yet decided. As I stated on Friday, I am not much of a butter lover but on the right bucket of popcorn, say, if it were freshly popped, I might reconsider. Keep in touch.
Sincerely,
Guy
Ok, so he did no suggest pen shopping, but it was kind of a weird email. Speaking of weird emails, Molly got this little gem the other day on that crazy ass free dating site:
hi this is me from hill
i read ur profle is nice
b4 u read my mail please ignore my english--lol
i just move here from houston
i start my textile bussienss here
i m film student too
i trance and house
and u i had a car accident that y i stop my studyin these days
i m looking nice and decent lady here--r u ?
may i knowu ?
reply must
I tried to tell her NOT to go out with him... but she just would not listen...she's a sucker for poor grammar and nonsensical ramblings. She'd have to be... she puts up with me after all.
Also, is there another Houston... like say, Houston, Turkey... or Houston, Poland? Houston, Mars? Just wondering.
Ta,
Bea
Thursday
Nothing Happened... still...
And forever more it would seem.
I had spent a good portion of the morning going between actually working and writing a post that was triggered by a dream about a certain someone who has disappeared from my life in recent months and mused over whether or not it was because of a little kiss that took place one night after probably one too many beers and that maybe he got freaked out and thought I was going to start liking him again... or something silly like that. I finished it and had to rush off to a meeting before I could post... when I came back to my desk an hour later, my computer had mysteriously closed the page and I lost the entire thing. Oddly enough, nothing else I had open was closed. I took that as a sign that posting it was not meant to be and I won't rewrite it. The Universe's way of telling me to shut the hell up I suppose...
Funny how things like work.
So today you can blame the Universe, a conference call, the internet and the 2006 Olympic Winter Games for another lameass posting... Go ahead, I have.
Ta,
Bea
I had spent a good portion of the morning going between actually working and writing a post that was triggered by a dream about a certain someone who has disappeared from my life in recent months and mused over whether or not it was because of a little kiss that took place one night after probably one too many beers and that maybe he got freaked out and thought I was going to start liking him again... or something silly like that. I finished it and had to rush off to a meeting before I could post... when I came back to my desk an hour later, my computer had mysteriously closed the page and I lost the entire thing. Oddly enough, nothing else I had open was closed. I took that as a sign that posting it was not meant to be and I won't rewrite it. The Universe's way of telling me to shut the hell up I suppose...
Funny how things like work.
So today you can blame the Universe, a conference call, the internet and the 2006 Olympic Winter Games for another lameass posting... Go ahead, I have.
Ta,
Bea
Wednesday
No News...
Is good news? Perhaps to some, but to me, no news makes for a lameass blog posting. Here is what has happened over the last couple of days. Perhaps you'll understand why I have been silent... not even anything to rant about, which I can usually count on to bail me out when nothing has really happened.
Friday Night... nothing happened.
Saturday day... had date with mini-english history soccer dude. We went to the Catherine the Great exhibit at the AGO which was cool. Conclusion #1 ... 5'8" is very little when you are used to dating guys who are 6'3" +. Conclusion #2... Must stop dating guys strictly because they could be characters from some silly British sitcom... The whole day was so inconsequential to my life that it hardy seemed worth mentioning save for in a blog about nothing happening.
Saturday night... nothing happened.
Sunday day... again, nothing happened. Oh, went into town for a bit and got annoyed at the crowds. Am destined to not have an gifts bought for people at Christmas.
Sunday night... starts with an "n" and ends with a "d"... two words... four syllables.
Monday day through to Tuesday night... I might as well just lump it all in together and stop dragging it out... with the exception of doing laundry and our internet at home conking out... Nada. Oh, and the fact that last night's episode of House was really really good...
Um... I am going to shut up now...
Bea "when did my life become so boring?" Petty
Friday Night... nothing happened.
Saturday day... had date with mini-english history soccer dude. We went to the Catherine the Great exhibit at the AGO which was cool. Conclusion #1 ... 5'8" is very little when you are used to dating guys who are 6'3" +. Conclusion #2... Must stop dating guys strictly because they could be characters from some silly British sitcom... The whole day was so inconsequential to my life that it hardy seemed worth mentioning save for in a blog about nothing happening.
Saturday night... nothing happened.
Sunday day... again, nothing happened. Oh, went into town for a bit and got annoyed at the crowds. Am destined to not have an gifts bought for people at Christmas.
Sunday night... starts with an "n" and ends with a "d"... two words... four syllables.
Monday day through to Tuesday night... I might as well just lump it all in together and stop dragging it out... with the exception of doing laundry and our internet at home conking out... Nada. Oh, and the fact that last night's episode of House was really really good...
Um... I am going to shut up now...
Bea "when did my life become so boring?" Petty
Friday
Under the Categories...
... of "Too Much Information", "Things We Did Not Need to Know About Beatrice", "Ew" and "Who Cares?" comes this little posting. You've been warned, so read on at your own risk.
It is entitled "Eau d'Aspargus"
I had asparagus for dinner last night. It was delicious, as was the chicken I made to go along with it, but as this posting is not entitled "Eau de Poulet" that is neither here nor there. So I had my dinner, it was good... and an early night to bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night as per usual... I have perhaps the WORST bladder on the entire planet and it is a very rare night that I do not wake up having to go to the bathroom. Although, last night, I am happy to say that it was not my bladder that woke me up, but the sound of a little motor humming away beside my pillow which in reality was my cat purring away happily at nothing in particular (the roomie can attest to the fact that she has the loudest purr in all the land). Most cats require stimuli in order to get their little purr motor going, but since her near brush with death, Oreo purrs for no particular reason other than because she can. It is adorable... just not when it is right in my ear... and not at 3am. But awake I was so I trudges downstairs to do my nightly business, and then...
Ew
Now, I just did a little bit of research and apparently having urine that smells like a skunk crawled inside you and died after eating asparagus is not uncommon... It's a genetic thing, like having earlobes or being completely disgusted by turnips... and apparently it's a trait that I have inherited in spades. It is definitely a trait that I could have lived without. I thank my parents for my blue eyes, and the ear lobes... rolling my tongue seems a little useless, as is being double jointed... and knowing about a genetic sensitivity to an enzyme in turnips that make them taste like turpentine would have been EXTREMELY helpful while growing up (thank you anthropology lab)...
Anyway, just a warning for those of you who may or may not ever spend time with me after I have eaten asparagus. You might want to wait a few minutes before going into the bathroom after I have been in there ... but listen, don't go blaming ME... blame my parents... for it was they, after all, who placed this curse at my feet so many years ago.
Bea "Don't they have support groups for stuff like this?" Petty
It is entitled "Eau d'Aspargus"
I had asparagus for dinner last night. It was delicious, as was the chicken I made to go along with it, but as this posting is not entitled "Eau de Poulet" that is neither here nor there. So I had my dinner, it was good... and an early night to bed.
I woke up in the middle of the night as per usual... I have perhaps the WORST bladder on the entire planet and it is a very rare night that I do not wake up having to go to the bathroom. Although, last night, I am happy to say that it was not my bladder that woke me up, but the sound of a little motor humming away beside my pillow which in reality was my cat purring away happily at nothing in particular (the roomie can attest to the fact that she has the loudest purr in all the land). Most cats require stimuli in order to get their little purr motor going, but since her near brush with death, Oreo purrs for no particular reason other than because she can. It is adorable... just not when it is right in my ear... and not at 3am. But awake I was so I trudges downstairs to do my nightly business, and then...
Ew
Now, I just did a little bit of research and apparently having urine that smells like a skunk crawled inside you and died after eating asparagus is not uncommon... It's a genetic thing, like having earlobes or being completely disgusted by turnips... and apparently it's a trait that I have inherited in spades. It is definitely a trait that I could have lived without. I thank my parents for my blue eyes, and the ear lobes... rolling my tongue seems a little useless, as is being double jointed... and knowing about a genetic sensitivity to an enzyme in turnips that make them taste like turpentine would have been EXTREMELY helpful while growing up (thank you anthropology lab)...
Anyway, just a warning for those of you who may or may not ever spend time with me after I have eaten asparagus. You might want to wait a few minutes before going into the bathroom after I have been in there ... but listen, don't go blaming ME... blame my parents... for it was they, after all, who placed this curse at my feet so many years ago.
Bea "Don't they have support groups for stuff like this?" Petty
Thursday
Three Words...
Fab
U
Lous
Yes, I am a little biased when it comes to HP. I love the books, I love the movies... I collect stamps and other memorabilia (or rather, my Mother collects these things for me... bless her)... I read Mugglenet.com on occasion... I can debate endlessly on why Snape killed Dumbledore in the last book (sorry, if you haven't read it by now I feel no responsibility for spoiling this secret)...
All that being said, I must give huge kudos to the writer and director for turning what could have been a disaster into something really great. True, lots of things were left out... they had to be. The book has over 600 pages... some things had to go and one always worries that they will get rid of all the important and juiciest bits (although I have to admit that I was always really curious about what some of the characters that they left out might look like... Ludo Bagman for one). I'll say it again...
Fab
U
Lous
U
Lous
Yes, I am a little biased when it comes to HP. I love the books, I love the movies... I collect stamps and other memorabilia (or rather, my Mother collects these things for me... bless her)... I read Mugglenet.com on occasion... I can debate endlessly on why Snape killed Dumbledore in the last book (sorry, if you haven't read it by now I feel no responsibility for spoiling this secret)...
All that being said, I must give huge kudos to the writer and director for turning what could have been a disaster into something really great. True, lots of things were left out... they had to be. The book has over 600 pages... some things had to go and one always worries that they will get rid of all the important and juiciest bits (although I have to admit that I was always really curious about what some of the characters that they left out might look like... Ludo Bagman for one). I'll say it again...
Fab
U
Lous
Wednesday
Can You Stand It?
The wait? I know I can't...
Has anyone not thought it weird that I have yet to display any excitement about the release of Goblet of Fire in theatres last Friday?
Anyone? Bueller?
I thought so...
The conversation a few weeks ago went something like this:
Cell phone rings.
Bea picks up "Hello".
Roomie answers, voice sad "Hey".
Bea "How was your dentist appointment?"
Roomie hesitates "Um, Ok"
Bea, concerned "Is everything OK?"
Roomie, bursting into tears "No, everything is NOT Ok! My life is over and I fear that you will never speak to me again"
Bea, reassuring "Now, now, it can't be all that bad. Tell me, what happened?"
Roomie sobbing "I have to get my wisdom teeth taken out"
Bea laughing "Oh silly, why do you think I would be offended that you had to get your wisdom teeth taken out? I've had mine removed. It's only natural. Most people have it done at some point or other"
Roomie "No, it's not that, it's..."
Bea "What? Tell me. I can handle it"
Roomie, hesitant "... It's just... just, that the only day the dentist can do it is on the 18th..."
Bea is silent on the other end of the line.
Roomie "Beatrice? Are you still there?"
Bea, now cold "Yes, I'm here. Can't you do it the following week?"
Roomie "No, it's that day or never. It's not like I am happy about it or anything. If I could change it I would, but I can't. I just can't ok? Please tell me you are not mad. We'll go as soon as I am better OK?"
No response from Bea
Roomie "Bea? Bea?? Say something... Please? I never meant for this to happen. If I could take it back I would. Bea?"
Beatrice, in a monotone voice "You are dead to me. DEAD TO ME..."
Click. Phone goes dead.
OK, a little (a lot... it actually went something more like "oh, that sucks, we'll just go when you are better then..."... anyway) exaggerated, but you get the idea of the tragedy that befell our household recently. Well, today is FINALLY the day... The roomie has recovered from her dental surgery enough to be able to go to see it, albeit without being able to munch on popcorn. Yes, I could have gone without her. In fact, it was an interesting view into the mind of other people... a colleague at work as well as my Computer Philosopher both suggested that I should go and then pretend that I hadn't gone... but I resisted because, I am like, the bestest friend a person could, like have, like ever...
So tonight is the night... why oh why can't it be 5 o'clock already?
Has anyone not thought it weird that I have yet to display any excitement about the release of Goblet of Fire in theatres last Friday?
Anyone? Bueller?
I thought so...
The conversation a few weeks ago went something like this:
Cell phone rings.
Bea picks up "Hello".
Roomie answers, voice sad "Hey".
Bea "How was your dentist appointment?"
Roomie hesitates "Um, Ok"
Bea, concerned "Is everything OK?"
Roomie, bursting into tears "No, everything is NOT Ok! My life is over and I fear that you will never speak to me again"
Bea, reassuring "Now, now, it can't be all that bad. Tell me, what happened?"
Roomie sobbing "I have to get my wisdom teeth taken out"
Bea laughing "Oh silly, why do you think I would be offended that you had to get your wisdom teeth taken out? I've had mine removed. It's only natural. Most people have it done at some point or other"
Roomie "No, it's not that, it's..."
Bea "What? Tell me. I can handle it"
Roomie, hesitant "... It's just... just, that the only day the dentist can do it is on the 18th..."
Bea is silent on the other end of the line.
Roomie "Beatrice? Are you still there?"
Bea, now cold "Yes, I'm here. Can't you do it the following week?"
Roomie "No, it's that day or never. It's not like I am happy about it or anything. If I could change it I would, but I can't. I just can't ok? Please tell me you are not mad. We'll go as soon as I am better OK?"
No response from Bea
Roomie "Bea? Bea?? Say something... Please? I never meant for this to happen. If I could take it back I would. Bea?"
Beatrice, in a monotone voice "You are dead to me. DEAD TO ME..."
Click. Phone goes dead.
OK, a little (a lot... it actually went something more like "oh, that sucks, we'll just go when you are better then..."... anyway) exaggerated, but you get the idea of the tragedy that befell our household recently. Well, today is FINALLY the day... The roomie has recovered from her dental surgery enough to be able to go to see it, albeit without being able to munch on popcorn. Yes, I could have gone without her. In fact, it was an interesting view into the mind of other people... a colleague at work as well as my Computer Philosopher both suggested that I should go and then pretend that I hadn't gone... but I resisted because, I am like, the bestest friend a person could, like have, like ever...
So tonight is the night... why oh why can't it be 5 o'clock already?
Monday
One Fish, Two Fish...
Red fish, blue fish... and angry fish, English fish... My how fishing is fun. Sort of... mostly... kind of.
Anyhoo, that new fabulous free dating site is interesting to say the least. There are some good fish. There must be, right? I thought there was at least one. He turned out to be completely insane as you will soon discover in the little story that follows that I have entitled.
"Not All Fish are Sane"
As many of you know, I have a little bit of a fondness for British culture. I will freely admit that to anyone... it is even written on my profile so it isn't like I went out of my way to hide it and up until this point in my life, it has not offended anyone. True, most of my friends can't relate and think that I am a little odd, but there you have it. So I meet this fish. He seems nice, normal etc... we write back and forth for quite some time and he was super keen to come with me to the Catherine the Great exhibit at the AGO... very keen.
Enter msn...
I am, really not sure how this happened, but our first msn conversation turned out to be our last one ever. It started off simply enough... with a seemingly innocent remark about the colour of my font not being the right colour for someone who like England so much... apparently, and I so did not know this, but apparently the colour of font that one uses on msn should be chosen to reflect your heritage. Font Fish's (FF) font was green to reflect his Irish heritage and he logically thought that mine should be red to reflect what he thought was my English heritage, although I was using a blue font so it's not like I wasn't using a colour that makes up the bulk of the Union Jack... anyway the "font= nationality/heritage" discussion prompted me to mention that I was, in fact, also of Irish descent and logically that should have been a good thing BUT apparently, and I did not know this either, apparently people of Irish descent are not allowed to like anything English... something about the English being the oppressors of the world and they ruined his family back in the 1850's etc... which then became all my fault somehow... because I studied British history and should have been able to go back in time to prevent the potato famine... or something like that... And then I basically became a stupid idiot because a) I studied British history and that, like, has so been done and b) History IS stupid... except for Irish history of course, because the Irish have never done nothing bad to nobody and that c) If I take a course in baseball does that make me an expert baseball player(yeah, I wasn't clear on that analogy either... if I take a course on history, does that mean that I can be a history expert? Um, yes) and d) I am a stupid idiot.
Things that I did not bring up because there seemed to no point were a) he and his family wouldn't even be in Canada were it not for the British and b) I dated an Irishman so I know more than your average hush puppy about what is going on over there so to tell that I don't know what I am talking about and that I should just shut up is not on and c) get over it. The potato famine happened 150 years ago and yes, it was very tragic but to blame the great great great great great grandchildren of those who may or may not have been a direct cause of this misfortune seems misguided and last but not least d) going to see the Catherine the Great exhibit at the AGO would have meant a brush with... gasp... history... and that didn't seem to bother him until I became the root cause of all the problems that Ireland has ever had... ever.
So that was that. I think it is safe to assume that this was the first time font colour has led to such an argument. It was funny sort of... of course, it was made even funnier because the same day that happened, I was contacted by a genuine English Fish... who is currently in the process of getting a university degree... in history. Is that not just the weirdest thing?
But all these fish may be soon extinct as I actually succeeded, for the first time in like... only GOD knows (literally), in making it to a second date with my Computer Philosopher... I know, shocking... with definite agreement that a third date would be highly amenable. Besides, I don't even like seafood.
BP
Anyhoo, that new fabulous free dating site is interesting to say the least. There are some good fish. There must be, right? I thought there was at least one. He turned out to be completely insane as you will soon discover in the little story that follows that I have entitled.
"Not All Fish are Sane"
As many of you know, I have a little bit of a fondness for British culture. I will freely admit that to anyone... it is even written on my profile so it isn't like I went out of my way to hide it and up until this point in my life, it has not offended anyone. True, most of my friends can't relate and think that I am a little odd, but there you have it. So I meet this fish. He seems nice, normal etc... we write back and forth for quite some time and he was super keen to come with me to the Catherine the Great exhibit at the AGO... very keen.
Enter msn...
I am, really not sure how this happened, but our first msn conversation turned out to be our last one ever. It started off simply enough... with a seemingly innocent remark about the colour of my font not being the right colour for someone who like England so much... apparently, and I so did not know this, but apparently the colour of font that one uses on msn should be chosen to reflect your heritage. Font Fish's (FF) font was green to reflect his Irish heritage and he logically thought that mine should be red to reflect what he thought was my English heritage, although I was using a blue font so it's not like I wasn't using a colour that makes up the bulk of the Union Jack... anyway the "font= nationality/heritage" discussion prompted me to mention that I was, in fact, also of Irish descent and logically that should have been a good thing BUT apparently, and I did not know this either, apparently people of Irish descent are not allowed to like anything English... something about the English being the oppressors of the world and they ruined his family back in the 1850's etc... which then became all my fault somehow... because I studied British history and should have been able to go back in time to prevent the potato famine... or something like that... And then I basically became a stupid idiot because a) I studied British history and that, like, has so been done and b) History IS stupid... except for Irish history of course, because the Irish have never done nothing bad to nobody and that c) If I take a course in baseball does that make me an expert baseball player(yeah, I wasn't clear on that analogy either... if I take a course on history, does that mean that I can be a history expert? Um, yes) and d) I am a stupid idiot.
Things that I did not bring up because there seemed to no point were a) he and his family wouldn't even be in Canada were it not for the British and b) I dated an Irishman so I know more than your average hush puppy about what is going on over there so to tell that I don't know what I am talking about and that I should just shut up is not on and c) get over it. The potato famine happened 150 years ago and yes, it was very tragic but to blame the great great great great great grandchildren of those who may or may not have been a direct cause of this misfortune seems misguided and last but not least d) going to see the Catherine the Great exhibit at the AGO would have meant a brush with... gasp... history... and that didn't seem to bother him until I became the root cause of all the problems that Ireland has ever had... ever.
So that was that. I think it is safe to assume that this was the first time font colour has led to such an argument. It was funny sort of... of course, it was made even funnier because the same day that happened, I was contacted by a genuine English Fish... who is currently in the process of getting a university degree... in history. Is that not just the weirdest thing?
But all these fish may be soon extinct as I actually succeeded, for the first time in like... only GOD knows (literally), in making it to a second date with my Computer Philosopher... I know, shocking... with definite agreement that a third date would be highly amenable. Besides, I don't even like seafood.
BP
Thursday
Why?
This was Bea getting onto the subway this morning. When I transfer to go north, the car is always empty as most people are heading downtown and not mid-town. It's a nice change from coming in from the west as it is usually stupid packed and it's so nice to get a little bit of breathing room.
EXHIBIT A
The joy and rapture you see on my face was short lived, for 2.5 seconds later...
EXHIBIT B
As you could tell from exhibit A, but so beautifully illustrated by yours truly with lovely yellow arrows in exhibit B, there were plenty O' seats to be had and none of them have led to me be smothered by a complete stranger.
It was truly one of the most bizarre events in my young life to date.
Bea "It must have been my animal magnetism" Petty
EXHIBIT A
The joy and rapture you see on my face was short lived, for 2.5 seconds later...
EXHIBIT B
As you could tell from exhibit A, but so beautifully illustrated by yours truly with lovely yellow arrows in exhibit B, there were plenty O' seats to be had and none of them have led to me be smothered by a complete stranger.
It was truly one of the most bizarre events in my young life to date.
Bea "It must have been my animal magnetism" Petty
Wednesday
Profile Do's and Don'ts
Bea is bored again... and we all know what happens when she gets bored... she turns to online dating (fyi, it looks as if I will be getting together again with the IT philosophizer from Saturday at some point...). But bored with Lava, I was at a loss of what to do. At a loss until I told about a new site... I won't divulge the name except to say the it has something to do with fish and plenty of them. And did I mention that is was free?
I like things that are free. Dinner last Saturday was great because it was free. Going to funky little clothing launches and induction dinners are great because they are free. Going in and renting a "guaranteed" rental in Blockbuster because it is out of stock even though you swore you would rather have your eyes gouged out than see Sisterhood of the traveling Pants is alright because it was...FREE.
So this new site... did I mention it was free... is really quite a little gem. As much as I like FREE, it does tend to bring out some very interesting folks, or so I am quickly learning... folks who would never stoop to paying $2.50 to contact someone on lava... folks who seem to have made it their life's mission to contact as many random people as possible because what the hell, you got nothing to lose because... it's FREE.
So what ARE the differences between a site where you have to fork out a subway fare to talk to someone as opposed to getting the opportunity for free? Many. There are many differences... Here are just a few observations that I have made thus far. I have entitled them:
Bea's Guide for Men on How to be Successful on a Free Online Dating Site (I know, it's rather a long title...)
1) Include a picture. If you are going to write me and ask me if I like to get spanked, at least do me the courtesy of allowing me to see the face of the person who I may or may not (probably not) allow to spank me.
2) If you are a man/male and it is quite obvious-- because you have complied with handy tip #1 and due to the large amount of facial hair you are displaying-- that you are a man/male, then there is no need to state that fact in your profile and/or email.
3) Spelling, spelling, spelling. I cannot stress this enough... along with grammar and punctuation and spacing... basically everything that you learn in elementary school. "im" is not a substitute for "I'm", "u" is not a substitute for "you" and god help you if you have already made the mistake of stating that you are a male and spell it "mail".
4) Don't copy and paste the same email to everyone. A distant acquaintance I know, who is also on it (whose name I will not mention) was contacted by a guy about 5 minutes after he had contacted me. It was EXACTLY the same, word for word... right down to the "thats a fantastic pic!your very stunning!" (quote unquote). A copy and paste can be spotted from a mile away.
5) Try to make an effort to make it remotely interesting. The following is one that I received today and although better than some of the ones I have received that simply said "wats up" or "hey" or just a name and a phone number, it still left something to be desired. It also demonstrates handy tip #4, which will become obvious shortly. Please note that I have changed some of the personal information (job, hobbies) to protect the innocent:
hi there, I just joined this site and saw your profile and wanted to say hi and would love to chat with you sometime. Drop me a line and maybe we could chat.I am a groundhog farmer. I am into cockroach racing and love Snapple. I am enjoy the positives in life and would love to get a chance to chat with you. Love the brownies comment. sounds really cute. hope to chat with you. Have a great day.
As you can see, there are a couple of things wrong with this, not the least of them is his eagerness to chat with me. Now, here's where he completely lost me... The "Love the brownies comment" comment. Nowhere does it say in my profile anything about brownies. A "Cutter Paster" all the way... Now see the important of reading a person's profile and writing a message from scratch? Although I would be lying if I did not admit that I do find msyelf more than a little curious about this "brownie comment"... If the girl who wrote it is getting people contacting her because of it, I may have to include one myself... anyone know of a "cute brownie comment" I could include to jazz things up a bit?
6) Don't write a person 10 times in the space of an hour when they haven't responded to your first e-mail. It may be FREE but FREE does not mean "FREE pass to display stalkerish behaviour". And Ye shall be blocked...
7) *added since first posted... I meant to put it, I swear... "Prefer not to say" = "Prefer not to respond to you". If your marital status is set to "prefer not to say"... Hmmm. Drinking or drug habits, "prefer not to say?"... Um... Yikes.
That's it for now. Really and truly it is amusing me to no end. Ah, the simple pleasures in life...
BP
I like things that are free. Dinner last Saturday was great because it was free. Going to funky little clothing launches and induction dinners are great because they are free. Going in and renting a "guaranteed" rental in Blockbuster because it is out of stock even though you swore you would rather have your eyes gouged out than see Sisterhood of the traveling Pants is alright because it was...FREE.
So this new site... did I mention it was free... is really quite a little gem. As much as I like FREE, it does tend to bring out some very interesting folks, or so I am quickly learning... folks who would never stoop to paying $2.50 to contact someone on lava... folks who seem to have made it their life's mission to contact as many random people as possible because what the hell, you got nothing to lose because... it's FREE.
So what ARE the differences between a site where you have to fork out a subway fare to talk to someone as opposed to getting the opportunity for free? Many. There are many differences... Here are just a few observations that I have made thus far. I have entitled them:
Bea's Guide for Men on How to be Successful on a Free Online Dating Site (I know, it's rather a long title...)
1) Include a picture. If you are going to write me and ask me if I like to get spanked, at least do me the courtesy of allowing me to see the face of the person who I may or may not (probably not) allow to spank me.
2) If you are a man/male and it is quite obvious-- because you have complied with handy tip #1 and due to the large amount of facial hair you are displaying-- that you are a man/male, then there is no need to state that fact in your profile and/or email.
3) Spelling, spelling, spelling. I cannot stress this enough... along with grammar and punctuation and spacing... basically everything that you learn in elementary school. "im" is not a substitute for "I'm", "u" is not a substitute for "you" and god help you if you have already made the mistake of stating that you are a male and spell it "mail".
4) Don't copy and paste the same email to everyone. A distant acquaintance I know, who is also on it (whose name I will not mention) was contacted by a guy about 5 minutes after he had contacted me. It was EXACTLY the same, word for word... right down to the "thats a fantastic pic!your very stunning!" (quote unquote). A copy and paste can be spotted from a mile away.
5) Try to make an effort to make it remotely interesting. The following is one that I received today and although better than some of the ones I have received that simply said "wats up" or "hey" or just a name and a phone number, it still left something to be desired. It also demonstrates handy tip #4, which will become obvious shortly. Please note that I have changed some of the personal information (job, hobbies) to protect the innocent:
hi there, I just joined this site and saw your profile and wanted to say hi and would love to chat with you sometime. Drop me a line and maybe we could chat.I am a groundhog farmer. I am into cockroach racing and love Snapple. I am enjoy the positives in life and would love to get a chance to chat with you. Love the brownies comment. sounds really cute. hope to chat with you. Have a great day.
As you can see, there are a couple of things wrong with this, not the least of them is his eagerness to chat with me. Now, here's where he completely lost me... The "Love the brownies comment" comment. Nowhere does it say in my profile anything about brownies. A "Cutter Paster" all the way... Now see the important of reading a person's profile and writing a message from scratch? Although I would be lying if I did not admit that I do find msyelf more than a little curious about this "brownie comment"... If the girl who wrote it is getting people contacting her because of it, I may have to include one myself... anyone know of a "cute brownie comment" I could include to jazz things up a bit?
6) Don't write a person 10 times in the space of an hour when they haven't responded to your first e-mail. It may be FREE but FREE does not mean "FREE pass to display stalkerish behaviour". And Ye shall be blocked...
7) *added since first posted... I meant to put it, I swear... "Prefer not to say" = "Prefer not to respond to you". If your marital status is set to "prefer not to say"... Hmmm. Drinking or drug habits, "prefer not to say?"... Um... Yikes.
That's it for now. Really and truly it is amusing me to no end. Ah, the simple pleasures in life...
BP
Tuesday
Dating Jargon 101
As you may remember, I had my November date this past Saturday. It was fun... He was much cuter than any photos I had seen , proving to me once again that you cannot judge a book by the less than ideal picture on it's cover... especially one that has been sent to you via the internet. Anyhoo...
So we dined, we walked, we talked yadda yadda yadda. A terribly nice gent. Perhaps a little nerdier than what I am used to but he had this very interesting self-taught computer geekiness infused with degree in philosophy quality that was mildly adorable. Sufficed to say, it made for some very interesting conversations... each one ending with me not really having much of a clue what he had just said, but being the master of bullshitting (thanks history degree) that I am, I covered myself well. Despite this geekiness he definitely had second date potential. Of course the fact that HE paid for dinner and wouldn't hear of me doing so did not exactly hurt. Really truly there is something to be said for that old fashioned tradition where a guy will ask you out and not make you pay for your half.
That was Saturday and have heard hide nor hair from him since, despite having received the usual "I had fun we should definitely meet up again soon". For those of you who have been lucky enough to escape the hell that is dating and find yourself happily coupled, first of all let me say Congratulations. And by Congratulations I mean damn you... kidding.... but not really.
And secondly, let me enlighten you as to what "I had fun we should definitely meet up again soon" actually means. Despite it's obvious statement to the contrary it means quite the opposite. What "I had fun we should definitely meet up again" actually means is "I kind of don't want to see you again but I am too polite to say it to your face so I am going to SAY I think we should so I can avoid any face to face conflict and then just completely ignore any attempts made by you to try and get together and hopefully you will get the hint eventually and just go away".
"I had fun we should definitely meet up again soon" is almost always followed by the other person responding along the lines of "Oh for sure". Now here's where "I had fun we should definitely meet up again soon" can actually mean "I had fun we should definitely meet up again soon". Immediately following "Oh for sure", should one hear "What is next week looking like for you?" or "How about dinner Friday", "I had fun we should definitely met up again soon" would, in fact, mean just that.
But, when "Oh for sure" is followed by "OK well I have your number" or "OK well I'll see you online", then you know that "I had fun we should definitely meet up again soon" was a load of manure... manure, although good for planting happy things like flowers and vegetables, is not a pleasant thing in the dating world... and your date in fact meant "I kind of don't want to see you again but I am too polite to say it to your face so I am going t SAY I think we should so I can avoid any face to face conflict and then just completely ignore any attempts made by you to try and get together and hopefully you will get the hint eventually and just go away".
Make sense?
Bea "Can anyone guess what the outcome of Saturday's date was?" Petty
So we dined, we walked, we talked yadda yadda yadda. A terribly nice gent. Perhaps a little nerdier than what I am used to but he had this very interesting self-taught computer geekiness infused with degree in philosophy quality that was mildly adorable. Sufficed to say, it made for some very interesting conversations... each one ending with me not really having much of a clue what he had just said, but being the master of bullshitting (thanks history degree) that I am, I covered myself well. Despite this geekiness he definitely had second date potential. Of course the fact that HE paid for dinner and wouldn't hear of me doing so did not exactly hurt. Really truly there is something to be said for that old fashioned tradition where a guy will ask you out and not make you pay for your half.
That was Saturday and have heard hide nor hair from him since, despite having received the usual "I had fun we should definitely meet up again soon". For those of you who have been lucky enough to escape the hell that is dating and find yourself happily coupled, first of all let me say Congratulations. And by Congratulations I mean damn you... kidding.... but not really.
And secondly, let me enlighten you as to what "I had fun we should definitely meet up again soon" actually means. Despite it's obvious statement to the contrary it means quite the opposite. What "I had fun we should definitely meet up again" actually means is "I kind of don't want to see you again but I am too polite to say it to your face so I am going to SAY I think we should so I can avoid any face to face conflict and then just completely ignore any attempts made by you to try and get together and hopefully you will get the hint eventually and just go away".
"I had fun we should definitely meet up again soon" is almost always followed by the other person responding along the lines of "Oh for sure". Now here's where "I had fun we should definitely meet up again soon" can actually mean "I had fun we should definitely meet up again soon". Immediately following "Oh for sure", should one hear "What is next week looking like for you?" or "How about dinner Friday", "I had fun we should definitely met up again soon" would, in fact, mean just that.
But, when "Oh for sure" is followed by "OK well I have your number" or "OK well I'll see you online", then you know that "I had fun we should definitely meet up again soon" was a load of manure... manure, although good for planting happy things like flowers and vegetables, is not a pleasant thing in the dating world... and your date in fact meant "I kind of don't want to see you again but I am too polite to say it to your face so I am going t SAY I think we should so I can avoid any face to face conflict and then just completely ignore any attempts made by you to try and get together and hopefully you will get the hint eventually and just go away".
Make sense?
Bea "Can anyone guess what the outcome of Saturday's date was?" Petty
Friday
Switching Gears
OK, yesterdays posting was a wee personal so enough of that for a while...
I was reading the paper (the free Metro that you get on the TTC) this morning on the way to work as I always do... Cover story blah, blah,blah... Oh good, another person got shot... Politicians did something dumb, again... more people blown up in the middle east, super... blah, blah, blah business... Yay, the Canucks are still kicking ass in the Northwest Division (will refrain from thinking anything bad about the loser Leafs)... Ah, Entertainment section... my old friend, it took me so long to get to you.
Something written in this morning's entertainment section actually made scoff in disgust... out loud. People looked at me wondering what I was on so early in the morning but the joke is one them because I don't start drinking until at LEAST 11am... but that's not for here.
So I was vocally disgusted by the review given to the new Pride and Prejudice movie being released in theatres today... the one with Keira Knightly. Having seen and LOVED it at the TIFF a few months back, I've been waiting for it to come out so I can see it again. For those of you saw the BBC mini series with Colin Firth from a few years ago and thought to yourselves that there is no possible way that anything could top it, or that there could be no one else to play Mr. Darcy other than CF, join the club because that's what the roomie and I thought when we went and saw it. We went and saw it specifically because we thought it could not be better and were interested in seeing just how NOT better it was.
We were like so wrong.
It was fabulous. Without going into the details, it was just as good, albeit shorter, than the BBC rendition... in some ways it was better, the reasons for which I will not detail here for those of you who want to go see it (all the guys I KNOW are already in line buying tickets for tonight's show...), but what I will say is that unlike the BBC version, the two leads had this AMAZING chemistry throughout the whole movie. God bless Colin Firth, but you have to admit that he does have a "wet fish" quality to him... What I am trying to say is that if you take anything away from this new version, it is passion--the passion between the two leads was outstanding. I got goose pimples. I have them now even.
Fast forward to present day... They have a review of the movie in the Metro. The guy only gave it 3 out of 5... like whatever, it won't be to everyone's taste so I can live with that... blah blah blah... script is good, actors are good... blah blah blah... DISAPPOINTING LACK OF CHEMISTRY BETWEEN KNIGHTLY AND MCFADDEN...
Cue extremely vocal display of disgust from Bea.
It was only then that I noticed the title of the review as "Chemistry lacks in Pride's prize pair"... don't judge... I'm usually half asleep until 10am and 3 coffees later.
So, a challenge for you folks... Should the mood strike you and you go and see the movie (as you should)... I'd like to hear your thoughts on this (cue quotation fingers) "reviewer's" take on the movie. Personally I do not think that this Norman fellow would know "passion" if it jumped up and bit him square in the... well, in a place where it wouldn't be nice if anything bit you there... think groin area... ouch.
Bea
I was reading the paper (the free Metro that you get on the TTC) this morning on the way to work as I always do... Cover story blah, blah,blah... Oh good, another person got shot... Politicians did something dumb, again... more people blown up in the middle east, super... blah, blah, blah business... Yay, the Canucks are still kicking ass in the Northwest Division (will refrain from thinking anything bad about the loser Leafs)... Ah, Entertainment section... my old friend, it took me so long to get to you.
Something written in this morning's entertainment section actually made scoff in disgust... out loud. People looked at me wondering what I was on so early in the morning but the joke is one them because I don't start drinking until at LEAST 11am... but that's not for here.
So I was vocally disgusted by the review given to the new Pride and Prejudice movie being released in theatres today... the one with Keira Knightly. Having seen and LOVED it at the TIFF a few months back, I've been waiting for it to come out so I can see it again. For those of you saw the BBC mini series with Colin Firth from a few years ago and thought to yourselves that there is no possible way that anything could top it, or that there could be no one else to play Mr. Darcy other than CF, join the club because that's what the roomie and I thought when we went and saw it. We went and saw it specifically because we thought it could not be better and were interested in seeing just how NOT better it was.
We were like so wrong.
It was fabulous. Without going into the details, it was just as good, albeit shorter, than the BBC rendition... in some ways it was better, the reasons for which I will not detail here for those of you who want to go see it (all the guys I KNOW are already in line buying tickets for tonight's show...), but what I will say is that unlike the BBC version, the two leads had this AMAZING chemistry throughout the whole movie. God bless Colin Firth, but you have to admit that he does have a "wet fish" quality to him... What I am trying to say is that if you take anything away from this new version, it is passion--the passion between the two leads was outstanding. I got goose pimples. I have them now even.
Fast forward to present day... They have a review of the movie in the Metro. The guy only gave it 3 out of 5... like whatever, it won't be to everyone's taste so I can live with that... blah blah blah... script is good, actors are good... blah blah blah... DISAPPOINTING LACK OF CHEMISTRY BETWEEN KNIGHTLY AND MCFADDEN...
Cue extremely vocal display of disgust from Bea.
It was only then that I noticed the title of the review as "Chemistry lacks in Pride's prize pair"... don't judge... I'm usually half asleep until 10am and 3 coffees later.
So, a challenge for you folks... Should the mood strike you and you go and see the movie (as you should)... I'd like to hear your thoughts on this (cue quotation fingers) "reviewer's" take on the movie. Personally I do not think that this Norman fellow would know "passion" if it jumped up and bit him square in the... well, in a place where it wouldn't be nice if anything bit you there... think groin area... ouch.
Bea
Thursday
Breaking the Cycle
I was thinking last night... about many things as usual... at some point I must have been thinking about poisonous carrots, unicorns and deserted islands because I had a CRAZY dream incorporating all three last night... anyway... that's not for here.
So I was thinking, as a person prone to insomnia is apt to do... stupid active mind. Anyway, with nary an exciting love match to dwell on at the moment my stupid active mind wandered to past exciting love matches. For what purposes? Who knows, it just did.
At any rate, my mind led me to a place where I thought back to what had gone wrong, or more to the point, what I had done wrong... and not just with relationships ended by the other person, but by ones ended by me. The one common denominator in all of them was that they these relationships were dominated by "excuses" in one form or another. And not excuses put forth by others necessarily, excuses that I made, to justify the behaviour of others and even my own feelings. The conclusion that I came to? No more excuses!!! You can't help the way you feel, just as others cannot help the way they feel. What you can do is live life on your terms and making excuses is letting others have the control whether they are aware of it or not. Most likely the latter.
If you have to make excuses, then something isn't right. In the realm of relationships, if the person is right for you and vice versa, excuses should not be necessary. The following are some examples of excuses I have made and/or been the victim of and have been both the excuse-er and the excuse-ee at one point in time or another.
"He/she wants to spend time with me, but he/she's so busy"
Bull crap. If a person wants to spend time with you, then he/she will make the time. Anything less then obviously you are not anywhere near this persons' priority and it would be best to move on to someone who will may you their priority, otherwise you'll be spending the next who knows how long making excuses for their other behaviour. Somewhat related but not really is a new person in your life (ahem... lavaperson) who just can never seem to find the time to meet up with you... "I don't know what to say, work/I've just never been this busy ever but..." I have used this excuse only when I had too many guys on the go. This excuse coming from me could just as well have read "... but as soon as I am done meeting the other 16 people who I have more interest in AND if none of them work out, I'll give you a call." Nice Karma Bea...
"He/She isn't committing because they have been single for a long time and are afraid to give up their independence"
A personal favorite of mine as it was one that I used for many a month when it came to the former-PNB... as some of my friends here can attest to (thanks for being too nice to give me a shake and tell me I was being an idiot). I used this excuse to fool myself into believing that his lack of commitment/ not wanting to spend very much time with me could not have possibly been that he was NOT interested in me (I am way too adorable after all)... he just had some inner issues to deal with and once they were sorted things would be all roses and puppy dogs. I was an idiot, it's true, but I am super glad it happened because I learned that the excuse only served to drag a hopeless situation on longer than it should have and I will never again accept anything less than what I deserve. Even the staunchest of bachelors/bachelorettes will willingly give up their single lives when the right person comes along.
"He/She isn't smothering me, he/she just loves me. I just need some more time"
Another one I used on myself and again it made a hopeless situation drag on for longer than it should have. It's a very bad feeling when you realize that your partner's feelings towards you are far stronger than yours will ever be. You may love me, but when the thought of you touching me makes me shudder, more time is not the answer. And even more time? Definitely not the answer. And even more time after that... You get the idea. Lesson learned Universe.
Of course there are even more excuses people use to justify the behaviour of others and they can be pretty bad. Physical and emotional abuse are things that I have yet to come across (knock on a GIANT piece of wood), but my expert experience from having watched many a day time talk show is that the abusee excuses the behaviour of the abuser (It was my fault, I got him/her angry...) and thus perpetuates the cycle.
anyway, I didn't want to get so terribly dark... This is all just part of my personal growth. Admitting it is the first step to recovery after all. Break the cycle.
Ta
Wednesday
A Tad Busy Today...
So this is going to be brief. In a nutshell, the launch last night was really fun. There was indeed free booze to be had as well as a gift bag (adorable scarf and toque), models fainting, you know, the usual... And the food, or lack thereof? Meh... something to be desired. I enjoyed the popcorn I made when I got home (just in time for House yay) much more...
Mmmm... popcorn...
Mmmm... popcorn...
Tuesday
The 5 o'clock News
I have some exciting news. And I have some not so exciting news. I will leave it up to you to decide which is which.
The first news is that tonight I will be hobnobbing with a variety of folks at the unveiling of the Team Canada clothing launch. Am I excited? Not really. After all, I was already hobnobbing with high-performance sports movers and shakers last week at the Canada Sport Hall of Fame induction. However, rumours have it that there are gift bags to be had, and after a looooooooooooong day at work with no internet where I was forced to endure a whole day of actually doing WORK and as such would be just as happy heading home and curling up in front of my best friend TV and watching House... breath... the gift bag (and free food and booze) calls and away to the launch I must.
The other news? It's official... I have a November quota-filler for this Saturday. Am I excited? Not really. He is hardly my type and he already has one strike against him in that he disappeared once (no, it isn't the "I literally toot my own horn disappearing and reappearing time waster" from yesterday's posting... who is not to be confused with the "I literally" guy as the horn tooter literally does toot a horn (literally) as opposed to the "I literally" guy repeatedly saying that he "literally" did something when he clearly did not "literally" do it... just want to be clear on that) and randomly came back about a week ago (literally)... Definitely seems to be a "theme" in my love life of late and not one that I am particularly fond of.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE themes. Theme tunes? Love them... The Family Guy theme... It seems today, that all you see... Love it. Theme parks? Disneyland, the happiest place on earth? Love it. Decorating one's room in the theme of My Little Pony? Love, love, love it...
Anyway, there you have it. Some news, such that it is...
Later Potaters,
Bea
The first news is that tonight I will be hobnobbing with a variety of folks at the unveiling of the Team Canada clothing launch. Am I excited? Not really. After all, I was already hobnobbing with high-performance sports movers and shakers last week at the Canada Sport Hall of Fame induction. However, rumours have it that there are gift bags to be had, and after a looooooooooooong day at work with no internet where I was forced to endure a whole day of actually doing WORK and as such would be just as happy heading home and curling up in front of my best friend TV and watching House... breath... the gift bag (and free food and booze) calls and away to the launch I must.
The other news? It's official... I have a November quota-filler for this Saturday. Am I excited? Not really. He is hardly my type and he already has one strike against him in that he disappeared once (no, it isn't the "I literally toot my own horn disappearing and reappearing time waster" from yesterday's posting... who is not to be confused with the "I literally" guy as the horn tooter literally does toot a horn (literally) as opposed to the "I literally" guy repeatedly saying that he "literally" did something when he clearly did not "literally" do it... just want to be clear on that) and randomly came back about a week ago (literally)... Definitely seems to be a "theme" in my love life of late and not one that I am particularly fond of.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE themes. Theme tunes? Love them... The Family Guy theme... It seems today, that all you see... Love it. Theme parks? Disneyland, the happiest place on earth? Love it. Decorating one's room in the theme of My Little Pony? Love, love, love it...
Anyway, there you have it. Some news, such that it is...
Later Potaters,
Bea
Monday
It's a Beautiful Day
Gorgeous Day (or at least it started off that way) in the Big Smoke today and with it comes some revelations. Perhaps the biggest of which is that I think (not positive mind you) that I may want to get out there and start dating again. How I am going to go about doing this without the help of an oft mentioned on-line dating site? That is the main question. And of course, by "help" I mean train wreck, disaster, bane of existence, evil incarnate... take your pick. So hopefully some juicier postings will be available in the near future...
I'm fed up that the only guy in my life right now is my August (I think August) quota-filler who disappeared and then came back out of the blue a month later. The last 2 months have consisted of a plethora of 2 line emails-- among them, some of the little gems word for word that follow:
Good to hear Oreo is doing well....maybe later in week...hook up....busy this weekend....football and all that...talk to ya..Time Waster
Sorry for not getting back to you on the party....working too much. Just so you know, been giving you the horn while going by your place.... So, how's Oreo? Reply when can...Time Waster
Well, good to here kitty is alive...going to older brothers tonight..parents are in town...b-o-r-i-n-g...well talk to you soon ...Time Waster
Ya...just found out parents coming up sat. e-mail tomorrow...home all day....have off...Time Waster...
Yes, yes, I have been playing along for the past couple months... The social experimenter in me couldn't help it. I finally decided to put an end to it by explaining to him what was NOT (bea was a bad girl... so sue me... but she isn't stupid... guys just don't come back for no reason at all) going to happen when and if I ever got more than a "working too much, parents coming to town, busy with football this weekend" email. Sufficed to say I have not heard back although it seems that he actually has been abusing his engineer (he drives trains or something) privileges like he says he has and blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaring the horn as he passes ye olde loft. If not him, then it would seem that he has instructed all his train buddies to do so when they pass because all I can say is Dear Lord... I think the roommie-- who was (un)fortunate enough to be an ear-witness to such an event yesterday--put it best when she said something along the lines of... "I guess it's sweet and all... but tell him to STOP".
Here's hoping that I can meet someone who doesn't toot his own horn...
BP
PS. Long-time BP readers will already know the story of my stalker, but for those of you who do not... or if you just want to see the fabulous art work added by the boys at e-closure, check out my contribution to the site.
I'm fed up that the only guy in my life right now is my August (I think August) quota-filler who disappeared and then came back out of the blue a month later. The last 2 months have consisted of a plethora of 2 line emails-- among them, some of the little gems word for word that follow:
Good to hear Oreo is doing well....maybe later in week...hook up....busy this weekend....football and all that...talk to ya..Time Waster
Sorry for not getting back to you on the party....working too much. Just so you know, been giving you the horn while going by your place.... So, how's Oreo? Reply when can...Time Waster
Well, good to here kitty is alive...going to older brothers tonight..parents are in town...b-o-r-i-n-g...well talk to you soon ...Time Waster
Ya...just found out parents coming up sat. e-mail tomorrow...home all day....have off...Time Waster...
Yes, yes, I have been playing along for the past couple months... The social experimenter in me couldn't help it. I finally decided to put an end to it by explaining to him what was NOT (bea was a bad girl... so sue me... but she isn't stupid... guys just don't come back for no reason at all) going to happen when and if I ever got more than a "working too much, parents coming to town, busy with football this weekend" email. Sufficed to say I have not heard back although it seems that he actually has been abusing his engineer (he drives trains or something) privileges like he says he has and blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaring the horn as he passes ye olde loft. If not him, then it would seem that he has instructed all his train buddies to do so when they pass because all I can say is Dear Lord... I think the roommie-- who was (un)fortunate enough to be an ear-witness to such an event yesterday--put it best when she said something along the lines of... "I guess it's sweet and all... but tell him to STOP".
Here's hoping that I can meet someone who doesn't toot his own horn...
BP
PS. Long-time BP readers will already know the story of my stalker, but for those of you who do not... or if you just want to see the fabulous art work added by the boys at e-closure, check out my contribution to the site.
Friday
Beatrices' So Far So Good Day
Don't got nuthin' to say. Just wanted to make it so that my bad day yesterday was not the first thing that came up... I'm over it.
So far, today has gone well... In fact, it is zipping by. It's one thing when a Monday goes by really quickly, but when a Friday does? Man, that's better than... Well, I'm not exactly sure what it's better than... but it's better than something.
Any thoughts?
So far, today has gone well... In fact, it is zipping by. It's one thing when a Monday goes by really quickly, but when a Friday does? Man, that's better than... Well, I'm not exactly sure what it's better than... but it's better than something.
Any thoughts?
Thursday
Beatrice's Bad Day
Sorry folks... really, really wanted to tell you about the fun time Girl and I had at the Canada Sports Hall of Fame induction dinner last night... but I can't...
... Because I am about 2.5 seconds from quitting... or being fired... or getting yelled at again. I hate being yelled at. Being yelled at reminds me of my Dad (who I love very, very much as he is the best Dad ever) who only ever raised his voice when my brother and I did something really, really bad... or at least when we maybe did something somewhat bad but the pain in his back was so intolerable that he sort of took it out on us. It happened very, very rarely but when it did... man oh man, you had better duck because when that bag of frozen peas came soaring at you from across the kitchen, they came bloody fast. And when that bag of peas missed you... because you are young and have the reflexes of a fox... and hit the wall behind you instead... well, that wasn't fun either because, although your Dad might have thrown the peas in the first place, you can rest assured that he won't be cleaning them up... and do know how many peas come in a full bag of frozen peas? I do. There are a lot. A lot of frozen peas in a full bag of frozen peas... and they get everywhere because they are round little suckers... and you had better clean them while they are still frozen because once they defrost, they get all mushy and stick to everything... so your best bet is for you and your brother to keep a straight face and clean it up, as your Dad slams the door to go for a walk so he can cool down without throwing anymore frozen food(s) at the children and/or the wall... and then go and play some video games and wait for your Dad to come back and apologize...
... Except in this instance there were no peas... and my brother is all the way in Vancouver... and I HIGHLY doubt that the CEO, peas or no peas, is going to come back and apologize for yelling at me for no reason.
I want my Daddy.
... Because I am about 2.5 seconds from quitting... or being fired... or getting yelled at again. I hate being yelled at. Being yelled at reminds me of my Dad (who I love very, very much as he is the best Dad ever) who only ever raised his voice when my brother and I did something really, really bad... or at least when we maybe did something somewhat bad but the pain in his back was so intolerable that he sort of took it out on us. It happened very, very rarely but when it did... man oh man, you had better duck because when that bag of frozen peas came soaring at you from across the kitchen, they came bloody fast. And when that bag of peas missed you... because you are young and have the reflexes of a fox... and hit the wall behind you instead... well, that wasn't fun either because, although your Dad might have thrown the peas in the first place, you can rest assured that he won't be cleaning them up... and do know how many peas come in a full bag of frozen peas? I do. There are a lot. A lot of frozen peas in a full bag of frozen peas... and they get everywhere because they are round little suckers... and you had better clean them while they are still frozen because once they defrost, they get all mushy and stick to everything... so your best bet is for you and your brother to keep a straight face and clean it up, as your Dad slams the door to go for a walk so he can cool down without throwing anymore frozen food(s) at the children and/or the wall... and then go and play some video games and wait for your Dad to come back and apologize...
... Except in this instance there were no peas... and my brother is all the way in Vancouver... and I HIGHLY doubt that the CEO, peas or no peas, is going to come back and apologize for yelling at me for no reason.
I want my Daddy.
Tuesday
On the Way to Work...
So, this morning's commute had me on ye olde 168 Symington on the way to the subway station... I hesitate to say as per usual because of late I have gone out of my way to "run late" while getting ready in the morning so that the roomie will drive me to the subway on her way to work... Truth be told, taking the bus in the morning raises my blood pressure to dangerously high levels. Also, running late is something that just comes naturally to me so... anyway.
This morning, like most mornings (although I somehow managed to snag a seat at the front almost as soon as I got on) had the bus stupid full up at the front but fairly vacant at the back. The driver was not one to actually give a care, so while everyone waiting at the next stops could have conceivably been able to board and not been left behind, he made no effort to ask people to move back... and as we all know, people will not move back on their own accord AND as we did not have that adorable mentally challenged girl on the bus to remind people both to move to the back and remove their backpacks AND as my idea of using tasers, as of today, has not had the degree of support I would have liked... dozens or so people were left behind to wait in the rain.
Like, whatever... this happens all the time and I should be used to it. I am... mostly... although I find it hard to not let my empathy get the better of me. Anyway, we finally arrive at the station and I made my way to the front to leave by those doors and prepared myself to say "Thank You" to the bus driver as I always do if I given the chance to leave by way of the front. I was prepared for a "you're welcome", which is the typical answer, or even a "have a nice day", or even a "thank you" in return... I was also prepared for the non-response which I get sometimes, which I mostly take for the bus driver being too shocked that someone actually thanked them instead of yelling at them, or shooting them, which seems to be happening of late in Toronto... but today, I got a response that I was wholly unprepared for. In response to my "Thank You Mr. Bus Driver Man, for picking me up and guiding me to safely to the subway station where I can begin the next leg of my journey on the way to work", I received a "Good Luck" in reply.
Good Luck
Good Luck with what? Good Luck with my commute? Good Luck with my day? Good Luck with my love life? Good luck with finding an outfit for the Canada Sports Hall of Fame induction dinner tomorrow? Good Luck with...life?
Well... if the bus driver wished it... so mote it be.
Bea "rushing out to by that winning lottery ticket" Petty
This morning, like most mornings (although I somehow managed to snag a seat at the front almost as soon as I got on) had the bus stupid full up at the front but fairly vacant at the back. The driver was not one to actually give a care, so while everyone waiting at the next stops could have conceivably been able to board and not been left behind, he made no effort to ask people to move back... and as we all know, people will not move back on their own accord AND as we did not have that adorable mentally challenged girl on the bus to remind people both to move to the back and remove their backpacks AND as my idea of using tasers, as of today, has not had the degree of support I would have liked... dozens or so people were left behind to wait in the rain.
Like, whatever... this happens all the time and I should be used to it. I am... mostly... although I find it hard to not let my empathy get the better of me. Anyway, we finally arrive at the station and I made my way to the front to leave by those doors and prepared myself to say "Thank You" to the bus driver as I always do if I given the chance to leave by way of the front. I was prepared for a "you're welcome", which is the typical answer, or even a "have a nice day", or even a "thank you" in return... I was also prepared for the non-response which I get sometimes, which I mostly take for the bus driver being too shocked that someone actually thanked them instead of yelling at them, or shooting them, which seems to be happening of late in Toronto... but today, I got a response that I was wholly unprepared for. In response to my "Thank You Mr. Bus Driver Man, for picking me up and guiding me to safely to the subway station where I can begin the next leg of my journey on the way to work", I received a "Good Luck" in reply.
Good Luck
Good Luck with what? Good Luck with my commute? Good Luck with my day? Good Luck with my love life? Good luck with finding an outfit for the Canada Sports Hall of Fame induction dinner tomorrow? Good Luck with...life?
Well... if the bus driver wished it... so mote it be.
Bea "rushing out to by that winning lottery ticket" Petty
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