And so, to sponge off of the ideas of The Roomie, who had originally sponged off the subconcious of Yours Truly... The attached image would seem to represent my love life at the present... or at least my perception of it. I must warn you, that despite the gratuitous shot of meat, the contents contained in this entry are a little more philisophical than what you have normally come to expect from Bea.
But before I delve into the psychology behind this revelation, an update on the Stalker is in order I think. So, it would seem that Ash is "leaving the country" next month. Why? I have no idea. Where to? Again, no clue. Do I care? Well yes...in so far as that I care that he will be out of the country and no longer down the street stalking me. He really, really, really wants to see me "one last time" before he leaves. The thought occured to me that maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt and grab a beer with him as per his request... But then that thought made me sick to my stomach. What could we possibly talk about?
"Ash, it was really great knowing you... Thanks so much for stalking me. It was really appreciated and made me feel very special and loved. Keep up the good work"
Cuckoo. Anyway, that's the update on that front... now back to the meat.
So, I had this dream last night. In essence, it had me coveting 2 slabs of juicy steak, of which I had taken the extra effort of picking out so that they would be just right. I was so excited to eat these steaks... on a side note... I must have been really hungry (or horny, which will make sense shortly). Anyway, I was so excited. I put the first steak down, and as I turned to get the other steak to put on the Barbi... THE HORROR... my first, perfect steak was gone. I was so upset... I yelled at the redneck chickie who was attending to the BBQ, but in her opinion, a steak was a steak was a steak and I should just get over it and pick another one. And then I woke up.
In many ways, this dream represents the TITANIC growth my emotional self has taken over the past few months, specifically with regards to relationships/boys and how I view them. Without going into too much detail, I used to confuse "I really like you, let's be together forever and ever" with "I get along with you, and I have no other prospects at this time, so we might as well date". I also confused "I like you Bea, but you are not 100% what I am looking for, nothing personal you understand, so let's call it a day before you get really hurt" with "You are digusting and no one in their right mind would ever want to be with you".
Sorry to have been so blunt, but there you have it. Anyhoo, what I am trying to say is that since I first began the Lavaffair, I have now done a complete 180. I am no longer willing to settle for "I think you are so-so... let's be together forever" because, I know now that I actually deserve "You are the only person I could see myself spending the rest of my life with"... and that's just fine with me thank you very much.
So, back to the meat... Since the loss of the PNB, whom I must give some credit for the exponential period of growth I have experience over these past few weeks, my concious mind (and heart) has embraced the fact that there are so many other fish in the sea. It was only a matter of time before my subconcious joined the party. Of course, I hate fish so my dream self would never actually allow me to dream about said seafood, so instead it chose some nice juicy steaks to represent the metaphor-- and in my humble opinion, even more appropriate considering the subject. Get it? Meat representing men? I told you there would be a sexual aspect to the whole thing!
So, while there is still a part of me who has some growing to do... hence why I was so upset at the loss of what I considered to be a "perfectly chosen" steak... The trailer trash BBQ lady really had it right when she told me to get over it and pick another steak already. Thank you Trailer Trash Lady!
Later,
BP
Tuesday
Monday
Drum Roll Please...
The Mailman's name is Peter. He is very adorable. Did I already mention that? I must say that the little flutter I got in the pit of my stomach was more than a little welcome after the crappy morning I had had up until then. Stupid 168 Slumington bus... Here are some observations from this morning that I wish to share with y'all:
1) I don't like talking in the morning. I'm not a morning person people. Accept it.
2) I don't like the smell of Garlic first thing in the morning. It makes me want to throw up.
3) I don't like talking to strange men at bus stops. Why? Well, after the whole Ash affair... Also, see observation #1.
I give kudos to the bus driver though... he was getting everyone onto that bus come hell or high water. And he said "Thank You... Have a nice day!" Favorite bus driver ever! But man... if there was ever a day for some CSBF to make one feel better...
Speaking of CSBF... an interesting weekend on that front. I have a new friend, hitherto to be called the NF. Anyway, hanging out with the NF... it was all good. Very nice, very comfortable... two friends sharing some laughs, and some wine. Anyway, throughout the evening, the concept of CSBFs came up... but, being a complete metard at times, I kind of wasn't picking up what was being putting down. And seeing as how it was never directed at me specifically... I was sort of confused. It wasn't until the next day that I thought to myself "Hmmm... did that actually happen?" But again, still not 100% sure.
And would I? I never have before... so what are the rules? I mean, do I get to participate in the decision making process? What if I decide that I want some nookie? Can I call up and say "hey, let's get together"? Take today for example... I had a rough morning... I'm feeling a little randy... I could do with a little bit o' pleasure this evening... Or is it strictly up to the guy to decide when it is convenient for him? And what of any semblance of actual friendship? Once you embark on this adventure, is it then possible to really, truly remain friends? Or will the assumption always be there that any sort of friendly get-togethers will always lead to sex? And what happens when either person starts seeing someone else? Can you then go back to being "just friends"? It's very confusing... But at the same time it is all very exciting...
Anyway, I welcome any thoughts, comments, advice etc... on this matter. Like I said, it's a new one for me... and one that I am not entirely convinced I didn't make up in my head... I was Petty after all this weekend. Maybe I never left the loft... sigh...Only time will tell I suppose.
TTFN,
Bea
1) I don't like talking in the morning. I'm not a morning person people. Accept it.
2) I don't like the smell of Garlic first thing in the morning. It makes me want to throw up.
3) I don't like talking to strange men at bus stops. Why? Well, after the whole Ash affair... Also, see observation #1.
I give kudos to the bus driver though... he was getting everyone onto that bus come hell or high water. And he said "Thank You... Have a nice day!" Favorite bus driver ever! But man... if there was ever a day for some CSBF to make one feel better...
Speaking of CSBF... an interesting weekend on that front. I have a new friend, hitherto to be called the NF. Anyway, hanging out with the NF... it was all good. Very nice, very comfortable... two friends sharing some laughs, and some wine. Anyway, throughout the evening, the concept of CSBFs came up... but, being a complete metard at times, I kind of wasn't picking up what was being putting down. And seeing as how it was never directed at me specifically... I was sort of confused. It wasn't until the next day that I thought to myself "Hmmm... did that actually happen?" But again, still not 100% sure.
And would I? I never have before... so what are the rules? I mean, do I get to participate in the decision making process? What if I decide that I want some nookie? Can I call up and say "hey, let's get together"? Take today for example... I had a rough morning... I'm feeling a little randy... I could do with a little bit o' pleasure this evening... Or is it strictly up to the guy to decide when it is convenient for him? And what of any semblance of actual friendship? Once you embark on this adventure, is it then possible to really, truly remain friends? Or will the assumption always be there that any sort of friendly get-togethers will always lead to sex? And what happens when either person starts seeing someone else? Can you then go back to being "just friends"? It's very confusing... But at the same time it is all very exciting...
Anyway, I welcome any thoughts, comments, advice etc... on this matter. Like I said, it's a new one for me... and one that I am not entirely convinced I didn't make up in my head... I was Petty after all this weekend. Maybe I never left the loft... sigh...Only time will tell I suppose.
TTFN,
Bea
Friday
Mailman Came...
Mailman went, his name still unknown. I'm such a chicken. And this is true on so many levels I am discovering... The stalker called last night... I'm afraid to talk to him. Why? Because I hate confrontation... especially confrontations with crazy people. The roomie says that I am going to have to physically tell him to fuck off as he isn't going to get it otherwise. I know she's right but for now, I am going to live in the little fantasy world I have created... the one where he'll will actually interpret the fact that the reason I am not returning his phone calls/ didn't want to go out for dinner or drinks/plainly stated on several occasions that I don't want to date him is that I well... I think you get the picture. I am open to any other options as long as they don't involve me having to actually talk/see him in any way. I could take out an ad on a bus I suppose...
Anyway... we'll see. I think I've got it figured out though... You see, it just so happens that while Ash was in Amsterdam... "I got back together with the guy I was dating" *wink, wink*... I didn't, of course... but he doesn't need to know that. After careful consideration I think that it's the only way out... Sorry Jeff... don't mean to drag you into this whole sordid affair... but, well... you may as well be good for something at this point.
And in other matters that do not pertain to me per say... Today I am stupid tired. Why? Because I am the nicest person in the entire world. I hope the roomie remembers that, dishes or no dishes this morning, I sacrificed a good night's sleep and endured the excrutiating agony of being the 5th wheel... all in the name of her lovelife. So, while I will be spending the weekend alone... once again... sigh... she'll be out gallivanting with a new PNB. Poor Beatrice, but Yay Molly!!!
Thursday
So Bored...
Is it me, or was my blog much more interesting when I had the PNB to whine about? Admittedly, the stalker did lend some drama for a few days, but since he has been in Amsterdam, there has been a decided lack of action on that front... Not that I am complaining mind you.
Well, it may interest you to know that I have an new PNC (potential new crush)... on The Mailman. That's right, you heard me! He pops by the COC everyday to deliver the mail, always with a smile on his face. And he's VERY tall, which I have now come to the conclusion is a VERY important factor when forming any sort of romantic attraction. Anyway, he is very tall, very nice, very adorable and, I have come close on several occasions over these past few weeks of taking the bold step of asking his name. I figured it was the most logical first step to starting any relationship... unless...
You meet a guy in a bar when you are really, really wasted and you spend the whole night making out with him, and you give him your number, and when he calls you have no idea who he is or what he is talking about... body shots... whatever... so you phone your best friend to see if this guy is full of shit only to discover that you were indeed guilty of participating in said tequila body shots, and playing tonsil hockey with the above mentionned unknown fella all night on the dance floor... Good Times...
Anyway, I think I've about got the nerve up to ask, but... and I think this is the Universe having yet ANOTHER laugh at my expense... this past week there has ALWAYS been someone around when he shows up... Thanks Universe.
Stay Tuned,
BP
PS... Maybe I should mention that the picture attatched to this entry is not my Mailman. I'm not that desperate... yet.
Well, it may interest you to know that I have an new PNC (potential new crush)... on The Mailman. That's right, you heard me! He pops by the COC everyday to deliver the mail, always with a smile on his face. And he's VERY tall, which I have now come to the conclusion is a VERY important factor when forming any sort of romantic attraction. Anyway, he is very tall, very nice, very adorable and, I have come close on several occasions over these past few weeks of taking the bold step of asking his name. I figured it was the most logical first step to starting any relationship... unless...
You meet a guy in a bar when you are really, really wasted and you spend the whole night making out with him, and you give him your number, and when he calls you have no idea who he is or what he is talking about... body shots... whatever... so you phone your best friend to see if this guy is full of shit only to discover that you were indeed guilty of participating in said tequila body shots, and playing tonsil hockey with the above mentionned unknown fella all night on the dance floor... Good Times...
Anyway, I think I've about got the nerve up to ask, but... and I think this is the Universe having yet ANOTHER laugh at my expense... this past week there has ALWAYS been someone around when he shows up... Thanks Universe.
Stay Tuned,
BP
PS... Maybe I should mention that the picture attatched to this entry is not my Mailman. I'm not that desperate... yet.
Wednesday
Seriously Displeased!
Stupid George Bush and his stupid State of the Union address... pre-empting Alias. I watch one program... ONE PROGRAM... all week... Why I oughtta...
John Kerry would have never made HIS State of the Union address on a Wednesday. Nope, he would have done it on Friday or something. There is NEVER anything good on TV on Friday. And it's not like we don't KNOW what state the union is in. It is very plainly and stupidly obvious... the union is not in a good place right now... and I DON'T think that Alias needed to have been pre-empted JUST to tell us something that we already know. Hmph!
Thank you for your time,
Beatrice (missing her favorite program) Petty
John Kerry would have never made HIS State of the Union address on a Wednesday. Nope, he would have done it on Friday or something. There is NEVER anything good on TV on Friday. And it's not like we don't KNOW what state the union is in. It is very plainly and stupidly obvious... the union is not in a good place right now... and I DON'T think that Alias needed to have been pre-empted JUST to tell us something that we already know. Hmph!
Thank you for your time,
Beatrice (missing her favorite program) Petty
Tuesday
ffftf ftttf ffffftt!
First off, let me say a big Happy Birthday to Pauly Shore!!!
You may be asking yourselves... can Bea have picked a more random celebrity to acknowledge today? I mean, there are loads of other celeb birthdays today... celebs whom I am a much bigger fan of... Terry Jones of Monty Python for example... I love that guy... Lisa Marie Presley??? Boris Yeltsin??? OK, so maybe Pauly isn't all that random...
Anyway, it may seem odd that Pauly Shore is even on the brain...But it isn't, not really. Last night the Roomie and I rented "Pauly Shore is Dead", the newest offering from said comedian. The review? If you are Pauly's biggest fan you will certainly, probably, most likely enjoy it somewhat. Even if you are not the biggest fan ever, you'll probably get a few chuckles... My take on the whole "mockumentary" however, is that one should be in a slightly altered state of mind while watching. In other words... It's a "baker" folks, plain and simple. If you like this style of movie, I suggest sticking with those put out by Christopher Guest... whose birthday, oddly enough, is in 4 days time... Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffmann, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind... all very funny... Sorry Pauly. Thanks for coming out though!
On the stalker front... no real news... He did phone me from Amsterdam last night which was a little frightening. Thank goodness Pauly was there to take my mind off things.
Oh, and to the person who left that crazy rant on yesterday's posting... In answer to your question... Chocolate gives me a headache, but I won't say no to Kahlua. Should you wish to send a Valentine's Day gift... or a birthday one for that matter, please contact me directly for details on where best to send said gift(s). Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.
Regards,
Bea
You may be asking yourselves... can Bea have picked a more random celebrity to acknowledge today? I mean, there are loads of other celeb birthdays today... celebs whom I am a much bigger fan of... Terry Jones of Monty Python for example... I love that guy... Lisa Marie Presley??? Boris Yeltsin??? OK, so maybe Pauly isn't all that random...
Anyway, it may seem odd that Pauly Shore is even on the brain...But it isn't, not really. Last night the Roomie and I rented "Pauly Shore is Dead", the newest offering from said comedian. The review? If you are Pauly's biggest fan you will certainly, probably, most likely enjoy it somewhat. Even if you are not the biggest fan ever, you'll probably get a few chuckles... My take on the whole "mockumentary" however, is that one should be in a slightly altered state of mind while watching. In other words... It's a "baker" folks, plain and simple. If you like this style of movie, I suggest sticking with those put out by Christopher Guest... whose birthday, oddly enough, is in 4 days time... Spinal Tap, Waiting for Guffmann, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind... all very funny... Sorry Pauly. Thanks for coming out though!
On the stalker front... no real news... He did phone me from Amsterdam last night which was a little frightening. Thank goodness Pauly was there to take my mind off things.
Oh, and to the person who left that crazy rant on yesterday's posting... In answer to your question... Chocolate gives me a headache, but I won't say no to Kahlua. Should you wish to send a Valentine's Day gift... or a birthday one for that matter, please contact me directly for details on where best to send said gift(s). Thank you for your cooperation in this matter.
Regards,
Bea
Monday
wet kitten
This is Oreo getting a bath. Unlike most cats, she actually enjoys the "getting wet" aspect of the bath but for some reason, as yet to be determined by a feline psychotherapist, she has real issues with the drying phase. And of course, being an impatient little beeyatch doesn't help... the dryer is your friend little one. Unfortunately you can't see it in this picture... and of course the battery HAD to die... but the fat cat really isn't as fat as she appears in full fur. And the cutest little chicken legs... adorable. Enough about the cat, let's get down to the good stuff.
Re: The Stalker or-- as my former-PNB has fondly nicknamed him-- the VDP (very disturbing penis). He called 4 times on Sunday. Luckily, at the very last minute, I got asked to "help my roomate out on the set of reality show pilot"... ** wink, wink**... working very late you understand. Actually, I would have loved to have helped out but that is neither here nor there. Starting today, Ash is in Amsterdam for 4 days so I have little bit of a reprieve. But on the advice of another former-PNB, I am looking into a personal alarm device... stalker aside, it is probably a good idea for a single girl in the big city to have anyway.
Now, onto a completely different, and much more pleasant (sort of)... subject. My Birthday. It's coming up. Very soon. Not looking forward to it per say, but oh well... what can I do? Nothing, except maybe attempt to forget about the whole thing by drowning my grief in booze... Don't EVEN get me STARTED on Valentine's Day.
Oh, and we are having a party. February 19th... Super Loft... Be there or be square.
Re: The Stalker or-- as my former-PNB has fondly nicknamed him-- the VDP (very disturbing penis). He called 4 times on Sunday. Luckily, at the very last minute, I got asked to "help my roomate out on the set of reality show pilot"... ** wink, wink**... working very late you understand. Actually, I would have loved to have helped out but that is neither here nor there. Starting today, Ash is in Amsterdam for 4 days so I have little bit of a reprieve. But on the advice of another former-PNB, I am looking into a personal alarm device... stalker aside, it is probably a good idea for a single girl in the big city to have anyway.
Now, onto a completely different, and much more pleasant (sort of)... subject. My Birthday. It's coming up. Very soon. Not looking forward to it per say, but oh well... what can I do? Nothing, except maybe attempt to forget about the whole thing by drowning my grief in booze... Don't EVEN get me STARTED on Valentine's Day.
Oh, and we are having a party. February 19th... Super Loft... Be there or be square.
Sunday
Lazy Sunday
Howdy folks,
Now, I know you are all dying to hear the stalker update so here goes. He called yesterday... and I answered, silly me. I did a great job at bullshitting about the wonderful Friday night I spent in the company of some "friends from Oakville"...
Ah, Ian and Tracy, if only you knew how many times you've covered my ass...
Dinner and a movie etc... In reality, I relaxed at home, but I figured that would be much more fun than to be sitting in one of the more expensive restaurants in Toronto, afraid for my life. Back to the phone call. So, Saturday evening came along, still at home relaxing after an exciting day of dunging out the loft. I knew it was him but... and you can stop me if you think I am wrong people... I don't think that this guy is going to go away just because I don't answer my phone. In fact, I think that would just make him more crazy. So I answered it, blah blah blah... Did I want to meet for drink Sunday afternoon?
And then, it happened. I couldn't think. My mind was SCREAMING... so loud in fact that I was sure it could be heard at the other end of the phone... it was screaming "THINK... THINK OF SOMETHING YOU IDIOT... ANYTHING... HANG UP.... RUN... THINK!!!!!!!!!!"
But I couldn't. I thought of a million great excuses as soon as I got OFF the phone, but all that came out was "Um, yeah, that might be a possibility. I have a lot of errands to run but I'll give you a call when I am done".
If you know me, you know that I like to talk... a lot. The universe is having a very big laugh at my expense. Anyway, I've got it all figured out so not to worry peeps, Ol'Bea will remain safe and sound in the comforts of the super loft today. Might pick up some pepper spray tomorrow.
Ciao,
:)
Now, I know you are all dying to hear the stalker update so here goes. He called yesterday... and I answered, silly me. I did a great job at bullshitting about the wonderful Friday night I spent in the company of some "friends from Oakville"...
Ah, Ian and Tracy, if only you knew how many times you've covered my ass...
Dinner and a movie etc... In reality, I relaxed at home, but I figured that would be much more fun than to be sitting in one of the more expensive restaurants in Toronto, afraid for my life. Back to the phone call. So, Saturday evening came along, still at home relaxing after an exciting day of dunging out the loft. I knew it was him but... and you can stop me if you think I am wrong people... I don't think that this guy is going to go away just because I don't answer my phone. In fact, I think that would just make him more crazy. So I answered it, blah blah blah... Did I want to meet for drink Sunday afternoon?
And then, it happened. I couldn't think. My mind was SCREAMING... so loud in fact that I was sure it could be heard at the other end of the phone... it was screaming "THINK... THINK OF SOMETHING YOU IDIOT... ANYTHING... HANG UP.... RUN... THINK!!!!!!!!!!"
But I couldn't. I thought of a million great excuses as soon as I got OFF the phone, but all that came out was "Um, yeah, that might be a possibility. I have a lot of errands to run but I'll give you a call when I am done".
If you know me, you know that I like to talk... a lot. The universe is having a very big laugh at my expense. Anyway, I've got it all figured out so not to worry peeps, Ol'Bea will remain safe and sound in the comforts of the super loft today. Might pick up some pepper spray tomorrow.
Ciao,
:)
Friday
UH OH
Ok, it's official, I have a stalker... or the makings of one at least. The following is a copy of the email I received this morning from Ash. Have you ever had the feeling that sometimes you should be careful what you wish for?
Hi there,
well i feel the need to appologise for my reaction and opinion about yesterdays issue,i made my self lool like a fool and a closed minded person however i have experienced an incident in my life where i lost a close friend of mine that had a bisexual boyfriend who transfered Hiv to her and sadly she passed away last year, however it seems like everytime something bad happenes to me i blame everyone around me for it like what i did when my father died i blamed my whole family for it.
i believe its not fair to blame homosexuals for what happened to her but believe me jennifer its so hard to lose a friend.again i thank you for opening my eyes to this subject again, i needed to rethink about it.
however i was really happy that we met and talked ,i felt like we shared alot in common, so i really would love to see you again and maybe u can know and see more aspects of me and for that i went ahead and reserved a table for us tonite at the 360 restaurant (its the rotating restaurant at the top of the cn tower) i heard its beautiful there,i have never been there and would love to take you there.
however if you feel like not going i will totally understand,but i really feel the need to clear this up and make it up to u, you are an awsome girl,very intelligent and i love the way you think and i dont want to lose you.
Ash
For those of you who don't live in Toronto, the 360 restaurant is the at the top of the CN Tower. At 50$ a pop for an entree, it is hardly a place that you take someone whom you consider to be just a casual acquaintance.
And now, if you would be so kind as to allow Old Beatrice to prattle on, I would like address a few of the comments he made:
1) "A lot in common": In reality, we had very little in common... unless you include that we have both enjoyed doing the horizontal mambo in our past relationships... but if having that in common is your most important pre-requisite when forming romantic attachements... I think Yikes about sums that up.
2) LOVE x 3: Call me crazy, but using the word "love" 3 times in one e-mail to someone you've just met is pretty much"on the cat"...
3) "I don't want to lose you": I don't even know what to say about this one except that "Dude, you never had me!" It is IMPOSSIBLE to lose something that you never had. It's as ridiculous as me saying "I don't want to lose that million dollars, or the llama"... but I never had a million dollars... or a llama, so how could I make that statement without sounding crazy. I couldn't, and therein lies my point.
And Jeff... if you are reading ... I blame you for all of this!
Petty Out.
Ok, it's official, I have a stalker... or the makings of one at least. The following is a copy of the email I received this morning from Ash. Have you ever had the feeling that sometimes you should be careful what you wish for?
Hi there,
well i feel the need to appologise for my reaction and opinion about yesterdays issue,i made my self lool like a fool and a closed minded person however i have experienced an incident in my life where i lost a close friend of mine that had a bisexual boyfriend who transfered Hiv to her and sadly she passed away last year, however it seems like everytime something bad happenes to me i blame everyone around me for it like what i did when my father died i blamed my whole family for it.
i believe its not fair to blame homosexuals for what happened to her but believe me jennifer its so hard to lose a friend.again i thank you for opening my eyes to this subject again, i needed to rethink about it.
however i was really happy that we met and talked ,i felt like we shared alot in common, so i really would love to see you again and maybe u can know and see more aspects of me and for that i went ahead and reserved a table for us tonite at the 360 restaurant (its the rotating restaurant at the top of the cn tower) i heard its beautiful there,i have never been there and would love to take you there.
however if you feel like not going i will totally understand,but i really feel the need to clear this up and make it up to u, you are an awsome girl,very intelligent and i love the way you think and i dont want to lose you.
Ash
For those of you who don't live in Toronto, the 360 restaurant is the at the top of the CN Tower. At 50$ a pop for an entree, it is hardly a place that you take someone whom you consider to be just a casual acquaintance.
And now, if you would be so kind as to allow Old Beatrice to prattle on, I would like address a few of the comments he made:
1) "A lot in common": In reality, we had very little in common... unless you include that we have both enjoyed doing the horizontal mambo in our past relationships... but if having that in common is your most important pre-requisite when forming romantic attachements... I think Yikes about sums that up.
2) LOVE x 3: Call me crazy, but using the word "love" 3 times in one e-mail to someone you've just met is pretty much"on the cat"...
3) "I don't want to lose you": I don't even know what to say about this one except that "Dude, you never had me!" It is IMPOSSIBLE to lose something that you never had. It's as ridiculous as me saying "I don't want to lose that million dollars, or the llama"... but I never had a million dollars... or a llama, so how could I make that statement without sounding crazy. I couldn't, and therein lies my point.
And Jeff... if you are reading ... I blame you for all of this!
Petty Out.
Yikes
Say Hi to Tony everyone. I dreamt about him last night. What it means remains to be determined by my personal dream Guru Dee. Liam Neeson was also there... Could my subconcious have picked two more random celebrities? I think not.
Anyway, that's not what the Yikes in the title was referring to. No, the Yikes refers to my "date" from last night. Again, date isn't the word. I was meeting up with a person who I was under the "impression" (and yes, those are quotation fingers) had just "moved" to "Toronto"... I thought I was being a nice person. I was a lttle worried, based on some comments he made on the phone, that he wasn't necessarily understanding that I wasn't looking to get into a relationship at this moment... but Bea being the nice person that she is thought she would at least meet this recent arrival to the big city... and I figured perhaps I could score some Fefe Dobson tickets at some point... I know, bad Bea.
It started off OK. He's had an interesting life... family moved to Egypt when he was young, Dad killed in a motorcycle accident, ran away back to Canada at age 14, hasn't seen family since... the usual... I was mildly uncomfortable with his line of questionning at times... But that's just prudish old me. I'm not comfortable talking about my favorite sexual positions with complete strangers... sue me.
And then somehow, out of the blue, he just casually mentionned that he was mildy homophobic. I was kind of shocked because he seemed so open and liberal about everything--from sex to politics. And when I say mildy homophobic, what I really meant was extraordinarily homophobic... Think "1985" homophobic... Think "gay men having sex with monkeys is the reason why AIDS exists". Sufficed to say I was horrified.
Yikes is an understatement. And now I am afraid.
Beatrice
Anyway, that's not what the Yikes in the title was referring to. No, the Yikes refers to my "date" from last night. Again, date isn't the word. I was meeting up with a person who I was under the "impression" (and yes, those are quotation fingers) had just "moved" to "Toronto"... I thought I was being a nice person. I was a lttle worried, based on some comments he made on the phone, that he wasn't necessarily understanding that I wasn't looking to get into a relationship at this moment... but Bea being the nice person that she is thought she would at least meet this recent arrival to the big city... and I figured perhaps I could score some Fefe Dobson tickets at some point... I know, bad Bea.
It started off OK. He's had an interesting life... family moved to Egypt when he was young, Dad killed in a motorcycle accident, ran away back to Canada at age 14, hasn't seen family since... the usual... I was mildly uncomfortable with his line of questionning at times... But that's just prudish old me. I'm not comfortable talking about my favorite sexual positions with complete strangers... sue me.
And then somehow, out of the blue, he just casually mentionned that he was mildy homophobic. I was kind of shocked because he seemed so open and liberal about everything--from sex to politics. And when I say mildy homophobic, what I really meant was extraordinarily homophobic... Think "1985" homophobic... Think "gay men having sex with monkeys is the reason why AIDS exists". Sufficed to say I was horrified.
Yikes is an understatement. And now I am afraid.
Beatrice
Thursday
Beatrice The Wunderkind!!!
Betrachten Sie Beatrice. Sie spricht ___________.
En nu spreekt Beatrice het ___________. Dat is zeer grappig!
Beatrice aprendeu como falar diversas línguas, _________, numa questão de minutos.
С тех пор когда сделал Beatrice выучьте __________?
Beatrice aprendió en el tiempo casi igual que ella aprendió __________.
그리고Beatrice은 한국어를...___________.
Can you guess which languages Beatrice can speak?
Betrachten Sie Beatrice. Sie spricht ___________.
En nu spreekt Beatrice het ___________. Dat is zeer grappig!
Beatrice aprendeu como falar diversas línguas, _________, numa questão de minutos.
С тех пор когда сделал Beatrice выучьте __________?
Beatrice aprendió en el tiempo casi igual que ella aprendió __________.
그리고Beatrice은 한국어를...___________.
Can you guess which languages Beatrice can speak?
Beatrice Petty - Artiste Extraordinaire!!!
Do you like my picture? I drew it myself. Don't be jealous of my extraordinary artistic talents... It demeans us both.
So, anyway... how is everyone doing? I hope this posting finds you all well on this extraordinarily frigid day in the Big Smoke. And speaking of extraordinary... I find it extraordinarily bizarre how my legs can still feel the freezer burn from last night, from having walked just two blocks in the above mentioned extraordinarily cold winter weather. How extraordinary indeed!
So, my date with Vince went well. It was about what I expected except that he is much shorter than I thought. And his head was extraordinarily undersized. I'm not sure that I could consider being romantically involved with someone whose head is so much smaller than my own. I mean, I don't have an unusually large head do I? I suppose that it isn't something that would normally come up in conversation though.
"So, Beatrice, I really like you, but... well, it's about your head"
So I guess only time will tell whether or not a friendship will develop with Mini-Vinny. A nice guy, but there is that whole cat/cheese/wine thing... Very important factors when choosing friends. I mean, I could live with 2 out of the 3... say, cats and wine and no cheese or; wine and cheese without the cat or; maybe even cheese and cats, no wine. Actually, scratch that... the wine is pretty much essential, as is the cat. The cheese, I suppose, I could live without. Sigh.
So tonight I meet the Rockstar...Ash. I'm pretty sure he is really young... he's also American... and an extraordinarily atrocious speller. Yikes. Stay tuned for that tale.
Extraordinarily Yours,
Bea
So, anyway... how is everyone doing? I hope this posting finds you all well on this extraordinarily frigid day in the Big Smoke. And speaking of extraordinary... I find it extraordinarily bizarre how my legs can still feel the freezer burn from last night, from having walked just two blocks in the above mentioned extraordinarily cold winter weather. How extraordinary indeed!
So, my date with Vince went well. It was about what I expected except that he is much shorter than I thought. And his head was extraordinarily undersized. I'm not sure that I could consider being romantically involved with someone whose head is so much smaller than my own. I mean, I don't have an unusually large head do I? I suppose that it isn't something that would normally come up in conversation though.
"So, Beatrice, I really like you, but... well, it's about your head"
So I guess only time will tell whether or not a friendship will develop with Mini-Vinny. A nice guy, but there is that whole cat/cheese/wine thing... Very important factors when choosing friends. I mean, I could live with 2 out of the 3... say, cats and wine and no cheese or; wine and cheese without the cat or; maybe even cheese and cats, no wine. Actually, scratch that... the wine is pretty much essential, as is the cat. The cheese, I suppose, I could live without. Sigh.
So tonight I meet the Rockstar...Ash. I'm pretty sure he is really young... he's also American... and an extraordinarily atrocious speller. Yikes. Stay tuned for that tale.
Extraordinarily Yours,
Bea
Wednesday
A Little Spooky
Alright, now that the whole "PNB was never a PNB" affair is over and I've been able to catch my breath... Let me fill you in on the latest. Yes, believe it or not, I was able to function in other aspects of my life this past weekend.
So, Saturday... Right. Without going into all the details, the roomie and I sort of came to the conclusion that we could both benefit from a little help from the "Universe". And so we asked the "Universe" for help. And boy did it listen. The first sign came knocking on the door... literally... with an invite from the guy down the hall to attend his b-day party. We went and now it would seem that Dee has picked up a swarmy little parasite named Rod. I call him Todd... My little joke. Nothing beats coming home from work only to be accosted in the hallway by Mini-Stalker. On a happier note, we'll see on Friday how her date goes with cutie PA... a much more welcome prospect I can assure you.
As for me? Well, now that Bea no longer has any potentials waiting in the wings, and no longer being on the crack cocaine that was Lavalife, I've decided to finally meet up with a very nice guy who stuck around for a very long time, despite being repeatedly blown off for greener pastures. That's tonight. I've got no hopes or expectations... All I know is that I don't have to cook tonight... I really don't feel like cooking tonight.
And just when you think that the "Universe" didn't throw me an unexpected bone... For I was starting to be jealous of Dee's ability to attract the most random of men... No more than 30 minutes after leaving Jeff's I found myself at the Dundas West station waiting for Ye Olde 168 Symington when a guy... a complete stranger just starts up a conversation. Of course Petty, with the mind set of a) guys kind of suck and b) complete strangers coming up and talking to you in Toronto is not on... was of course not really the most enthusiastic of conversation partners...
But this fellow... Ash is is name... just wouldn't give up. Under the auspices of inviting me to a gig happening in a few weeks time... Oh, I guess I should mention here that he is a musician who plays in Fefe Dobson's band... I didn't know who that was but apparently she's kind of big... He asked for my email and I gave it to him. He promptly emailed me first thing this morning and, despite me explaining about where my head space is at this particular moment re: the whole relationship thing... he is DESPERATE to meet up with me. Will it backfire? Have I now attracted my own "Universe-throwing the good in with the bad-LMAO" mini stalker? Only time will tell.
Stay Tuned...
BP
Alright, now that the whole "PNB was never a PNB" affair is over and I've been able to catch my breath... Let me fill you in on the latest. Yes, believe it or not, I was able to function in other aspects of my life this past weekend.
So, Saturday... Right. Without going into all the details, the roomie and I sort of came to the conclusion that we could both benefit from a little help from the "Universe". And so we asked the "Universe" for help. And boy did it listen. The first sign came knocking on the door... literally... with an invite from the guy down the hall to attend his b-day party. We went and now it would seem that Dee has picked up a swarmy little parasite named Rod. I call him Todd... My little joke. Nothing beats coming home from work only to be accosted in the hallway by Mini-Stalker. On a happier note, we'll see on Friday how her date goes with cutie PA... a much more welcome prospect I can assure you.
As for me? Well, now that Bea no longer has any potentials waiting in the wings, and no longer being on the crack cocaine that was Lavalife, I've decided to finally meet up with a very nice guy who stuck around for a very long time, despite being repeatedly blown off for greener pastures. That's tonight. I've got no hopes or expectations... All I know is that I don't have to cook tonight... I really don't feel like cooking tonight.
And just when you think that the "Universe" didn't throw me an unexpected bone... For I was starting to be jealous of Dee's ability to attract the most random of men... No more than 30 minutes after leaving Jeff's I found myself at the Dundas West station waiting for Ye Olde 168 Symington when a guy... a complete stranger just starts up a conversation. Of course Petty, with the mind set of a) guys kind of suck and b) complete strangers coming up and talking to you in Toronto is not on... was of course not really the most enthusiastic of conversation partners...
But this fellow... Ash is is name... just wouldn't give up. Under the auspices of inviting me to a gig happening in a few weeks time... Oh, I guess I should mention here that he is a musician who plays in Fefe Dobson's band... I didn't know who that was but apparently she's kind of big... He asked for my email and I gave it to him. He promptly emailed me first thing this morning and, despite me explaining about where my head space is at this particular moment re: the whole relationship thing... he is DESPERATE to meet up with me. Will it backfire? Have I now attracted my own "Universe-throwing the good in with the bad-LMAO" mini stalker? Only time will tell.
Stay Tuned...
BP
And like the Ballerina...
Beatrice has done a 180... of sorts. Of all the possible scenarios that I had come up with about how the meeting with the former-PNB was going to go down, I had never imagined that it would go the way it did.
I went there expecting to discover how I could have been so wrong in thinking that he had truly cared about me... to have my feelings validated in some way... to be reassured that yes, he did care, but that sometimes feelings change blah, blah, blah... Honestly, I really didn't know what to expect. After all, I was treading in new waters... the dumpee so rarely gets the opportunity to have the final say... at least not in person. But here I was, laying it all on the line.
Over the course of the nearly 2 hour exchange, which was much more 2 sided than I thought it would be, the end results were as follows:
1) Yes, Jeff did like me, at first. And then, when it got to the point where he had to make a choice to take it to the next level... it just wasn't there for him. And, being the honest and nice guy that he is, he felt it was better to end it than to have my heart even more broken later on.
2) It turns out that my feelings for him were no where near what I thought they were. I can hear the *gasps* escaping form your mouths. It's true.
It turns out... after much reflection about what I was really going to miss about the PNB, and some spot-on dream analysis by my personal psychologist Dee... that somehow I had turned Jeff into a sort of Mini Ian/Kelly, and that what I was really looking for in him was not a romantic relationship, but a bond à la the one I have with the above mentioned fellas who have since moved on and started new bonds/families of their own. How's that for deep? I still have some shit to deal with on this front, but I think... and hope, that my former PNB is now an NF (new friend)... something that I am definitely in need of in this town.
Whoa.
And now I need to come up for air!
Bea
I went there expecting to discover how I could have been so wrong in thinking that he had truly cared about me... to have my feelings validated in some way... to be reassured that yes, he did care, but that sometimes feelings change blah, blah, blah... Honestly, I really didn't know what to expect. After all, I was treading in new waters... the dumpee so rarely gets the opportunity to have the final say... at least not in person. But here I was, laying it all on the line.
Over the course of the nearly 2 hour exchange, which was much more 2 sided than I thought it would be, the end results were as follows:
1) Yes, Jeff did like me, at first. And then, when it got to the point where he had to make a choice to take it to the next level... it just wasn't there for him. And, being the honest and nice guy that he is, he felt it was better to end it than to have my heart even more broken later on.
2) It turns out that my feelings for him were no where near what I thought they were. I can hear the *gasps* escaping form your mouths. It's true.
It turns out... after much reflection about what I was really going to miss about the PNB, and some spot-on dream analysis by my personal psychologist Dee... that somehow I had turned Jeff into a sort of Mini Ian/Kelly, and that what I was really looking for in him was not a romantic relationship, but a bond à la the one I have with the above mentioned fellas who have since moved on and started new bonds/families of their own. How's that for deep? I still have some shit to deal with on this front, but I think... and hope, that my former PNB is now an NF (new friend)... something that I am definitely in need of in this town.
Whoa.
And now I need to come up for air!
Bea
Tuesday
Feeling Much Better Today Thanks
Howdy Folks,
Now, before you all start complaining to yourselves about the decidedly morose tone that this blog has taken on these past few days, and that from now on you will only hear me bewailing over the loss of the PNB... let me reassure that this is not the case. Granted, today's posting will feature the above mentioned former-PNB, as tonight I will get the chance to have my say in person. Primarily, the questions I want to address are 1) how is it possible that he didn't find me to be the adorable person that I am and 2) Why has no one given this boy an Academy Award for Best Actor?
Oh, and just to prepare you for tomorrow's posting... You lucky people will all find out how the whole thing went down. Perhaps I can be an inspiration to all the women out there who have found themselves in the same predicament. After all... how often do we get a chance to confront the person who has hurt us? As big a jerk as Jeff has turned out to be, I must give him a little bit of credit for being man enough to allow me have my say.
On a completely different... but somewhat related note... I have a date of sorts for tomorrow. This was a person who I have been in contact with for the past month or so and despite the repeated attempts to blow him off, he is still keen to meet me. I feel that there has to be a reason for him still being in my life... But don't worry children, this is not a rebound thing... I truly feel that this is a "meeting a new friend" thing. After all, I could not possibly seriously date a fellow with a cat allergy, who doesn't like cheese and drink, even like wine. If you know me, even in the slightest, you know that these are three of my favorite things. Sufficed to say, the former-PNB enjoyed all of these things as much as I did. Too bad he liked these things more than me... bastard.
Stay tuned for the continuation of "Tales from a Broken Heart" by Beatrice Petty...
BP
PS. And yes, I realize that am being OVERLY DRAMATIC about the entire affair.
Howdy Folks,
Now, before you all start complaining to yourselves about the decidedly morose tone that this blog has taken on these past few days, and that from now on you will only hear me bewailing over the loss of the PNB... let me reassure that this is not the case. Granted, today's posting will feature the above mentioned former-PNB, as tonight I will get the chance to have my say in person. Primarily, the questions I want to address are 1) how is it possible that he didn't find me to be the adorable person that I am and 2) Why has no one given this boy an Academy Award for Best Actor?
Oh, and just to prepare you for tomorrow's posting... You lucky people will all find out how the whole thing went down. Perhaps I can be an inspiration to all the women out there who have found themselves in the same predicament. After all... how often do we get a chance to confront the person who has hurt us? As big a jerk as Jeff has turned out to be, I must give him a little bit of credit for being man enough to allow me have my say.
On a completely different... but somewhat related note... I have a date of sorts for tomorrow. This was a person who I have been in contact with for the past month or so and despite the repeated attempts to blow him off, he is still keen to meet me. I feel that there has to be a reason for him still being in my life... But don't worry children, this is not a rebound thing... I truly feel that this is a "meeting a new friend" thing. After all, I could not possibly seriously date a fellow with a cat allergy, who doesn't like cheese and drink, even like wine. If you know me, even in the slightest, you know that these are three of my favorite things. Sufficed to say, the former-PNB enjoyed all of these things as much as I did. Too bad he liked these things more than me... bastard.
Stay tuned for the continuation of "Tales from a Broken Heart" by Beatrice Petty...
BP
PS. And yes, I realize that am being OVERLY DRAMATIC about the entire affair.
Monday
sadness
What can I say, except that I am no less sad than I was 3 days ago. And, that despite an entire weekend of reflection and lamenting, I am still no closer to being ready to let go of the PNB. It needs to be done-- this I know-- but like many difficut things in this world... it is easier said than done.
The answer to the main question is still waiting to be unearthed-- which is, how I could possibly have been so convinced, so sure that he felt one way... when he really felt another. So confused.
I was told by someone wise a while back that I should listen to my heart re: the PNB... let his actions point to the truth. This I did-- to distaterous consequences so it would seem. That will teach me to open my heart and emotions. Being cold and distant, living in my protective emotional shell seemed to have worked so well in the past, so why did I have to go and do things differently this time? Stupid Beatrice.
And if I sound bitter... I suppose I am. Without going into all the details, there was a part of me that felt that I had found "The One" ... hence why I am finding it hard to let go.
I am open to suggestions on how to deal with all of this. One of the explanations that Jeff gave me was that it was obvious that I liked him more than he liked me. The irony is that it took this to happen for me to examine how I truly felt. How interesting is that?
Petty Out
The answer to the main question is still waiting to be unearthed-- which is, how I could possibly have been so convinced, so sure that he felt one way... when he really felt another. So confused.
I was told by someone wise a while back that I should listen to my heart re: the PNB... let his actions point to the truth. This I did-- to distaterous consequences so it would seem. That will teach me to open my heart and emotions. Being cold and distant, living in my protective emotional shell seemed to have worked so well in the past, so why did I have to go and do things differently this time? Stupid Beatrice.
And if I sound bitter... I suppose I am. Without going into all the details, there was a part of me that felt that I had found "The One" ... hence why I am finding it hard to let go.
I am open to suggestions on how to deal with all of this. One of the explanations that Jeff gave me was that it was obvious that I liked him more than he liked me. The irony is that it took this to happen for me to examine how I truly felt. How interesting is that?
Petty Out
Saturday
The Dropping of the Other Shoe
It's official folks... The PNB is no more... The bomb dropped yesterday when... writing an email to get some reassurance about the whole coupling, the tables turned and instead of reassurance I got the old... "I like you, but..."
After a very sad night of being consoled by my fabulous roommate... and a healthy dose of The Office, Beatrice has learned her lesson-- true love for her is not meant to be... At least not with this particular PNB... So sad. It'll take me a while to get over it... to try to comprehend how I could have been so completely wrong in my interpretation of the signs... and of course, it isn't going to help my belief in my oft stated opinion that guys are complete jerk-offs. But I'll get over it. In the meantime... I am accepting donations for the Beatrice Petty "Help Restore the Faith in True Love" Fund. All proceeds will go towards buying me material things to make me feel better such as clothes, jewelry, shoes and the like. What is it they say about the therapeutic effect of shopping? I don't know... On second thought, send any donations to the Red Cross and help people who actually need it. Bea is a big girl.
Later,
BP
It's official folks... The PNB is no more... The bomb dropped yesterday when... writing an email to get some reassurance about the whole coupling, the tables turned and instead of reassurance I got the old... "I like you, but..."
After a very sad night of being consoled by my fabulous roommate... and a healthy dose of The Office, Beatrice has learned her lesson-- true love for her is not meant to be... At least not with this particular PNB... So sad. It'll take me a while to get over it... to try to comprehend how I could have been so completely wrong in my interpretation of the signs... and of course, it isn't going to help my belief in my oft stated opinion that guys are complete jerk-offs. But I'll get over it. In the meantime... I am accepting donations for the Beatrice Petty "Help Restore the Faith in True Love" Fund. All proceeds will go towards buying me material things to make me feel better such as clothes, jewelry, shoes and the like. What is it they say about the therapeutic effect of shopping? I don't know... On second thought, send any donations to the Red Cross and help people who actually need it. Bea is a big girl.
Later,
BP
Thursday
And another bad scan...
Sorry... This is one of those moments where the people who truly love me should tell me that I should never go onto American Scanner Idol... because I suck... and yes, I AM dressed like a hoochey mamma today.
Another photo of the loft, this one taken from Dee's staircase just before Christmas. Just felt I had to qualify that... in case you thought we had a Christmas tree up all year round.
TTFN!
Another photo of the loft, this one taken from Dee's staircase just before Christmas. Just felt I had to qualify that... in case you thought we had a Christmas tree up all year round.
TTFN!
Hell... Thy name is 168 Symington
My back went out this morning. Why? Because once again, my stupid bus was stupid full of stupid people. It was about half full this morning when I got on, with most of the people jammed onto the first half of the vehicle. I made my way down towards the back, pushing through the people too dumb to realize that if only they moved to the back they would a) have more room to stand and not be packed in like sardines and b) more people could get on the bus. But alas, this was not the case, and I weathered through several "tsks" and looks of disgust before I reached the wide open space of the back of the bus.
And then, I thought at first it was some sort of mirage... that my eyes were deceiving me due to the slightly later than normal bedtime the night before... but no, there were actually some seats available. Holy Crap. So I sat and it was good... very good. Until the next stop that is, when Fatty McFat decided to squeeze in next to me and cross his arms... A SEVERE violation of my personal space. I was left with no other option than to twist my upper body away from this vicious and completely undeserved attack. And of course, I coudn't get up, because by this time, the bus was so completely full, that even the retards who wouldn't move down to begin with had been forced to the back. No more wide open spaces for Bea.
And then, it happened... two stops away from the Dundas West subway station. My lower back...I felt it go... the pain was excruciating. It was all I could do to not scream out and smack the guy who had inserted his fat ass next to me. And so began another day in the Big Smoke.
Oddly enough, the whole experience reminded me of something that came up while watching American Idol with Dee. It boggled my mind just a wee bit that there were so many people who truly had no idea that they were the worst singers ever. And to argue with the judges when told this fact... "But my friends and family told me I have the greatest voice ever"... Of course they will say that... because they hate you. If they really cared they would have told you that you sound like a chipmunk on helium... oh, and while you are at it, dressing like a hoochey mamma isn't going to make your voice sound better.
I feel confident that my friends like me enough to tell me when I suck at something... not that I actually do... but if I did, I'm sure they would tell me... Lord knows my Mom has no trouble telling me when she thinks I suck. I love you Mom.
I guess what I am trying to say is that some people could really benfit from a nice healthy dose of insecurity... I'm just putting that out there...
BP
And then, I thought at first it was some sort of mirage... that my eyes were deceiving me due to the slightly later than normal bedtime the night before... but no, there were actually some seats available. Holy Crap. So I sat and it was good... very good. Until the next stop that is, when Fatty McFat decided to squeeze in next to me and cross his arms... A SEVERE violation of my personal space. I was left with no other option than to twist my upper body away from this vicious and completely undeserved attack. And of course, I coudn't get up, because by this time, the bus was so completely full, that even the retards who wouldn't move down to begin with had been forced to the back. No more wide open spaces for Bea.
And then, it happened... two stops away from the Dundas West subway station. My lower back...I felt it go... the pain was excruciating. It was all I could do to not scream out and smack the guy who had inserted his fat ass next to me. And so began another day in the Big Smoke.
Oddly enough, the whole experience reminded me of something that came up while watching American Idol with Dee. It boggled my mind just a wee bit that there were so many people who truly had no idea that they were the worst singers ever. And to argue with the judges when told this fact... "But my friends and family told me I have the greatest voice ever"... Of course they will say that... because they hate you. If they really cared they would have told you that you sound like a chipmunk on helium... oh, and while you are at it, dressing like a hoochey mamma isn't going to make your voice sound better.
I feel confident that my friends like me enough to tell me when I suck at something... not that I actually do... but if I did, I'm sure they would tell me... Lord knows my Mom has no trouble telling me when she thinks I suck. I love you Mom.
I guess what I am trying to say is that some people could really benfit from a nice healthy dose of insecurity... I'm just putting that out there...
BP
Tuesday
Grumpy Pylon
That's me in a nut shell today folks. As lovely as minus 33 degrees feels first thing in the morning, standing like a sardine in both a bus and a subway car is much, much worse. I need to find some way to withdraw into some sort of fantasy world... A world full of Orlando Blooms and Gerard Butlers, with perhaps a few Judes and Ewans thrown in... for shits and giggles. Ah, if only Bea Petty hadn't given up Being Petty.
So, the weekend was nice--quiet, but nice. The Big K meister was in town Friday night which would normally have entailed us all going out and getting hammered... . As it turns out, apparently we are now a bunch of lameasses. We couldn't EVEN do a late movie. How pathetic was that? I'm almost embarrased to write about it, but this blog is all about the truth... and I am determined to write nothing but the truth, no matter how painful it is.
Anyhoo, Saturday was even more lame as the PNB... blaming a basketball head wound for his all day headache instead of the beers and scotches he had consumed the night before whilst bowling... "It's not a hangover"... Yeah, right... wanted a night to himself in his pad. So, that left Petty at home all by her lonesome. I did have a wonderful time though... introducing myself to The Office... which is getting funnier the more I watch. And of course, I did get my Orlando (and PNB) fix on Sunday for the Golden Globes so it's all good. I did learn something though... I bruise easily when tickled. See, I told you this blog was all about honesty.
Oh, and another thing??? My cat had gas this weekend... under the covers of all places. It freaked me out. So much so, that I present:
The Fat Cat FartKu
Wee Wee Kitty, ppphht
Did that sound come from your butt?
'Scuse Me would be nice
That is all,
B
That's me in a nut shell today folks. As lovely as minus 33 degrees feels first thing in the morning, standing like a sardine in both a bus and a subway car is much, much worse. I need to find some way to withdraw into some sort of fantasy world... A world full of Orlando Blooms and Gerard Butlers, with perhaps a few Judes and Ewans thrown in... for shits and giggles. Ah, if only Bea Petty hadn't given up Being Petty.
So, the weekend was nice--quiet, but nice. The Big K meister was in town Friday night which would normally have entailed us all going out and getting hammered... . As it turns out, apparently we are now a bunch of lameasses. We couldn't EVEN do a late movie. How pathetic was that? I'm almost embarrased to write about it, but this blog is all about the truth... and I am determined to write nothing but the truth, no matter how painful it is.
Anyhoo, Saturday was even more lame as the PNB... blaming a basketball head wound for his all day headache instead of the beers and scotches he had consumed the night before whilst bowling... "It's not a hangover"... Yeah, right... wanted a night to himself in his pad. So, that left Petty at home all by her lonesome. I did have a wonderful time though... introducing myself to The Office... which is getting funnier the more I watch. And of course, I did get my Orlando (and PNB) fix on Sunday for the Golden Globes so it's all good. I did learn something though... I bruise easily when tickled. See, I told you this blog was all about honesty.
Oh, and another thing??? My cat had gas this weekend... under the covers of all places. It freaked me out. So much so, that I present:
The Fat Cat FartKu
Wee Wee Kitty, ppphht
Did that sound come from your butt?
'Scuse Me would be nice
That is all,
B
Friday
The Pumpkin Spice Latte that saved my life...
OK... So, where to start? I guess I'll just say it... Beatrice was a bad girl last night.
Out at the Resevoir Lounge for the Puppets Who Kill wrap party, Bea and Dee spent the evening hobnobbing with the cast and crew of said show. Dee with one boy in particular. Well, as you all know, I am the nicest person in the entire world and knowing that Dee wanted some time to get to know her little PA, I had to make myself scarce... which is kind of hard to do when you don't actually know anybody. So, what was a girl to do???
Enter Captain Paul in his fancy red pants. I'm a little puzzled how someone could be so wasted yet remain vertical and even swing dance. I guess that's why he's the Captain. Anyway, left in the company of Captain Paul for the evening... I just kind of went with the flow... it just seemed easier to let him give me a few kisses than to make the effort to talk to someone else... Besides, it's not like I could get away... I tried that but he kept popping back up... kind of like a bad penny. Eventually Dee showed back up... a succesful evening from what I understand... and we were able to get the hell out of there. Sufficed to say today I feel like crap but am much improved since my visit to Starbucks... Hence the subject line of this posting.
There you have it. Judge me if you will, but the whole Captain Paul affair has left me with some interesting thoughts-- which I will now share you with you.
First off, I love kissing... It's fun and it's easy. I've never really been picky about who I kiss... I'll kiss pretty much anyone, especially after more than a few martinis. I've been told that I am a good kisser and I guess I've had good luck with even my most random kissing partners... Until last night that is.
Unfortunatley, when it comes to kissing, Captain Paul just didn't cut it. In fact, he was so TERRIBLE that I was feeling slightly nauseous... and NO, I was not THAT drunk. It's official... I kissed someone who was so bad that it made me want to puke. Yikes!
But... is it possible that, as clueless as he is, I am so attracted to my PNB that I am no longer attracted to other people? Hence the desire to vomit in Captain Paul's mouth. Hmmm... a very interesting thought indeed.
Bea
Out at the Resevoir Lounge for the Puppets Who Kill wrap party, Bea and Dee spent the evening hobnobbing with the cast and crew of said show. Dee with one boy in particular. Well, as you all know, I am the nicest person in the entire world and knowing that Dee wanted some time to get to know her little PA, I had to make myself scarce... which is kind of hard to do when you don't actually know anybody. So, what was a girl to do???
Enter Captain Paul in his fancy red pants. I'm a little puzzled how someone could be so wasted yet remain vertical and even swing dance. I guess that's why he's the Captain. Anyway, left in the company of Captain Paul for the evening... I just kind of went with the flow... it just seemed easier to let him give me a few kisses than to make the effort to talk to someone else... Besides, it's not like I could get away... I tried that but he kept popping back up... kind of like a bad penny. Eventually Dee showed back up... a succesful evening from what I understand... and we were able to get the hell out of there. Sufficed to say today I feel like crap but am much improved since my visit to Starbucks... Hence the subject line of this posting.
There you have it. Judge me if you will, but the whole Captain Paul affair has left me with some interesting thoughts-- which I will now share you with you.
First off, I love kissing... It's fun and it's easy. I've never really been picky about who I kiss... I'll kiss pretty much anyone, especially after more than a few martinis. I've been told that I am a good kisser and I guess I've had good luck with even my most random kissing partners... Until last night that is.
Unfortunatley, when it comes to kissing, Captain Paul just didn't cut it. In fact, he was so TERRIBLE that I was feeling slightly nauseous... and NO, I was not THAT drunk. It's official... I kissed someone who was so bad that it made me want to puke. Yikes!
But... is it possible that, as clueless as he is, I am so attracted to my PNB that I am no longer attracted to other people? Hence the desire to vomit in Captain Paul's mouth. Hmmm... a very interesting thought indeed.
Bea
Thursday
Stupid Prince
Ok,
So, if you even remotely know Petty, you know that I am a huge Anglophile. You may even be aware that I am a Monarchist. (That's right Martin... I'm keeping my eye on you...) But you definitely know that I am an enormous History fanatic/geek/afficionado.
Is it just me or is there something earily reminiscent of Harry's choice of costume at a recent soiree. While I think that the hole affair has likely been blown way out of proportion... I do find it worth bringing up that Harry's Great Uncle Edward... you know, the one who abdicated the throne to marry the american divorcee Wallis Simpson... was a huge supporter of the Nazi's and their policies (so was Joe Kennedy for that matter--the patriarch of america's staunchest democratic family... go figure). Petty did a whole paper on the intimate relationship between Edward and Hitler... Thank goodness that floozy came along or else we might, even now, be goose-stepping our way to work instead of taking the TTC.
And was there NO ONE around that might have suggested that the theme of his costume might, in the slightest way, be offensive to one or two people?
"Hey Harry, dude. Er... You really think that that costume is a good idea? Like, millions of people died at the hands of Nazis. Why don't you wear one of your crowns or something... go as a Prince?"
"No way man, the red band goes with my hair."
Stupid, Stupid Prince
So, if you even remotely know Petty, you know that I am a huge Anglophile. You may even be aware that I am a Monarchist. (That's right Martin... I'm keeping my eye on you...) But you definitely know that I am an enormous History fanatic/geek/afficionado.
Is it just me or is there something earily reminiscent of Harry's choice of costume at a recent soiree. While I think that the hole affair has likely been blown way out of proportion... I do find it worth bringing up that Harry's Great Uncle Edward... you know, the one who abdicated the throne to marry the american divorcee Wallis Simpson... was a huge supporter of the Nazi's and their policies (so was Joe Kennedy for that matter--the patriarch of america's staunchest democratic family... go figure). Petty did a whole paper on the intimate relationship between Edward and Hitler... Thank goodness that floozy came along or else we might, even now, be goose-stepping our way to work instead of taking the TTC.
And was there NO ONE around that might have suggested that the theme of his costume might, in the slightest way, be offensive to one or two people?
"Hey Harry, dude. Er... You really think that that costume is a good idea? Like, millions of people died at the hands of Nazis. Why don't you wear one of your crowns or something... go as a Prince?"
"No way man, the red band goes with my hair."
Stupid, Stupid Prince
You can come... If you want...
Nice.
That's exactly what you want to come out of your PNB's mouth... And that reminds me of a book I got for Christmas-- given by my Dad of all people. "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys" is really quite informative and definitely entertaining... Where was this book a few months ago I'd like to know? Anyway, I am thinking that there are guys out there that are not necessarily not into you... it's just that they are that clueless... especially single child, lifelong bachelor ones... Whoa and Yikes!
So, an exciting week so far, with the best yet to come. Got my hair cut yesterday... ooh... so curly. I love it. And tonight I have a wrap party for Puppets who Kill which Dee... the rockingest person ever... invited me to. And the KS man is in town until Saturday. Won't see him tonight but am looking forward to tying one on tomorrow with da boyz.
You know, Petty was just thinking about how funny it is that I see some people much more now that I have moved to Toronto. As opposed to Vic. where NOTHING ever really happened, and there was a never a reason to go unless visiting people, Toronto always has stuff going on. Of course when I say "some people", I am really only referring to KS who comes here for business frequently. No one else has really made any effort to visit. Oh, and there is actually a person that lives in Toronto who I see less/never now that I live here so... not sure what the logic behind that one is... hmmmm... Forget what I just said.
PNB-Ku
You are SOOOOOO lucky;
I'm as patient as a saint...
Patience running out :{
Ta,
BP
That's exactly what you want to come out of your PNB's mouth... And that reminds me of a book I got for Christmas-- given by my Dad of all people. "He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys" is really quite informative and definitely entertaining... Where was this book a few months ago I'd like to know? Anyway, I am thinking that there are guys out there that are not necessarily not into you... it's just that they are that clueless... especially single child, lifelong bachelor ones... Whoa and Yikes!
So, an exciting week so far, with the best yet to come. Got my hair cut yesterday... ooh... so curly. I love it. And tonight I have a wrap party for Puppets who Kill which Dee... the rockingest person ever... invited me to. And the KS man is in town until Saturday. Won't see him tonight but am looking forward to tying one on tomorrow with da boyz.
You know, Petty was just thinking about how funny it is that I see some people much more now that I have moved to Toronto. As opposed to Vic. where NOTHING ever really happened, and there was a never a reason to go unless visiting people, Toronto always has stuff going on. Of course when I say "some people", I am really only referring to KS who comes here for business frequently. No one else has really made any effort to visit. Oh, and there is actually a person that lives in Toronto who I see less/never now that I live here so... not sure what the logic behind that one is... hmmmm... Forget what I just said.
PNB-Ku
You are SOOOOOO lucky;
I'm as patient as a saint...
Patience running out :{
Ta,
BP
Wednesday
The Cat Who Ate Toronto!!!
Ok, I won't lie to you... this is perhaps the worst I have ever looked in a photo but I couldn't resist putting it up because of how adorable the Wee-Wee Cat looks. And I know what you are all thinking ("holy crap that cat is fat" or maybe... "hey, it's Little Shamu" or, "eat much fatty?")... but before you actually say it out loud, she is VERY sensitive about her appearance and her clumsiness. Laughing at her or insulting her will only make things worse.
And in other news, my bag finally came yesterday. I feel that I have scarred to Fedex guy for life. I doubt he has ever delivered anything to anyone so excited... I stopped short of giving him a kiss and a... well, you can use your imagination on that one. Anyway, I am very relived. I feel like my life can finally get back to a normal routine. I'd like to thank everyone for all their support during this difficult time. And if you didn't support me, well then... you should be ashamed of yourselves... turning your back on Petty when she needed you the most. You Bastards!
At least my sweetie was there for me. Actually, he's kind of driving me crazy. He sells real estate and from what I understand, January is a very slow month for sales. So, he spends his days doing errands and trying to keep himself occupied. Now he's run out of things to do and he's gone crazy!!! Literally. I need to give him some things to do during the day... any thoughts?
Bea
And in other news, my bag finally came yesterday. I feel that I have scarred to Fedex guy for life. I doubt he has ever delivered anything to anyone so excited... I stopped short of giving him a kiss and a... well, you can use your imagination on that one. Anyway, I am very relived. I feel like my life can finally get back to a normal routine. I'd like to thank everyone for all their support during this difficult time. And if you didn't support me, well then... you should be ashamed of yourselves... turning your back on Petty when she needed you the most. You Bastards!
At least my sweetie was there for me. Actually, he's kind of driving me crazy. He sells real estate and from what I understand, January is a very slow month for sales. So, he spends his days doing errands and trying to keep himself occupied. Now he's run out of things to do and he's gone crazy!!! Literally. I need to give him some things to do during the day... any thoughts?
Bea
Tuesday
Dear Diary
It has been two weeks since I last saw any sign of my possessions. I fear that all is lost, but I must not give up hope. I must think of my baby-- My Wee-Wee Cat who I believe, in a sweet, albeit misguided attempt to sympathize with my discontentedness, has taken to urinating all over my goose down duvet. Oh Wee-Wee Cat, please leave the lamentation to me.
Diary, I would like to believe that there is still a possibility that my treasures might arrive back to me post haste, but having been thwarted in all previous attempts to trace them... Alas, there is not much left to do but wait.
Oh, if only Sir Retardo Crossroads McCourier had not been given the responsibility of looking after my valise. I take little comfort in the knowledge that many other innocent and hauntingly beautiful young women were put in the same compromising situation.
And Lord Federal, of Expressshire... Do your promises mean nothing? You promised that day, under the old oak tree, that you would come through and deliver unto me my package before yesterday was o'er. And then it was this morn'. And then the afternoon. And now the eve is almost upon us and I have nothing. Not even a tissue with which I might dry mine eyes. Sigh.
Yours Sorrowfully,
Beatrice
Diary, I would like to believe that there is still a possibility that my treasures might arrive back to me post haste, but having been thwarted in all previous attempts to trace them... Alas, there is not much left to do but wait.
Oh, if only Sir Retardo Crossroads McCourier had not been given the responsibility of looking after my valise. I take little comfort in the knowledge that many other innocent and hauntingly beautiful young women were put in the same compromising situation.
And Lord Federal, of Expressshire... Do your promises mean nothing? You promised that day, under the old oak tree, that you would come through and deliver unto me my package before yesterday was o'er. And then it was this morn'. And then the afternoon. And now the eve is almost upon us and I have nothing. Not even a tissue with which I might dry mine eyes. Sigh.
Yours Sorrowfully,
Beatrice
Friday
Wednesday
Best Gift Ever!!!
So,
As you may or may not know, good old Beatrice is a simple gal... gets excited about the little things in life... like National Geographic map suppliments, getting phone calls at Christmas from a certain PNB... who DIDN'T actually phone... bastard... What, they don't have phones in Santa Monica??? Heehee, it's all good, he got his comeupance...
Anyway, back to how beautiful and simple I am... Just before Petty embarked on her whirlwind trip back to SSI, my roomate and I did our little gift exchange thang... I opened mine and got so excited that it was a purse... because I needed a purse... but then... OH MY... this was not just any purse folks... Once and for all, I had honest to god proof, that I Beatrice Petty, was indeed... the wife... of Orlando Bloom.
It's a FACT... the purse says so... Mrs. Bloom... sigh... That'll teach Jeff for not calling at Christmas...
But as great as that gift was... it was, in fact, a gag gift... my real gift was something way too extravagant that I will not mention here, except to say that Dee, you spent way too much!!! But I love you for it.
Anyhoo... no word on the luggage yet... Where is Obi Wan when you need him... he's my only hope at the moment.
Mwa
As you may or may not know, good old Beatrice is a simple gal... gets excited about the little things in life... like National Geographic map suppliments, getting phone calls at Christmas from a certain PNB... who DIDN'T actually phone... bastard... What, they don't have phones in Santa Monica??? Heehee, it's all good, he got his comeupance...
Anyway, back to how beautiful and simple I am... Just before Petty embarked on her whirlwind trip back to SSI, my roomate and I did our little gift exchange thang... I opened mine and got so excited that it was a purse... because I needed a purse... but then... OH MY... this was not just any purse folks... Once and for all, I had honest to god proof, that I Beatrice Petty, was indeed... the wife... of Orlando Bloom.
It's a FACT... the purse says so... Mrs. Bloom... sigh... That'll teach Jeff for not calling at Christmas...
But as great as that gift was... it was, in fact, a gag gift... my real gift was something way too extravagant that I will not mention here, except to say that Dee, you spent way too much!!! But I love you for it.
Anyhoo... no word on the luggage yet... Where is Obi Wan when you need him... he's my only hope at the moment.
Mwa
Tuesday
Has Anyone Seen This Bag???
OK,
Perhaps my bag doesn't look EXactly like this adorable one, but at this point, I'll take anything. The update on the lost luggage sitch is this... The courier company seems to have "misplaced" my very large bag. They phoned on Saturday... supposedly ready to deliver it but, because they got my cell's voice mail... they didn't attempt to deliver it to the address they had.
Wait... it gets better. When I phoned back to say..."hey, I got your message, I'm so happy that you'll finally be delivering my bag today... and I'm very sorry, my cell is dead because it has taken so long to get my bag and my charger is inside it... but I am home... so come on by..."... I was told that I wouldn't be getting it that day because they were no longer in my area. I then said "Hey, no worries... I'll be home all day tomorrow, let me give you my home number that actually works so you can call ahead..."...
"I'm sorry, we can only call the number that Air Canada has given us"
"OK............. But seeing as how you told me that you will not deliver the bag unless you've spoken to someone, and I've just told you that the phone number you have will not work because the phone is dead and, you won't take a new number.... By that logic, you will always try the cell, not get an answer, and never deliver the bag???"
"Yes"
"OK... that is retarded!"
"Hold Please".... click
This account of the last few days of Bea's life has been brought to you by Ihateaircanadajestgocrossroadscourier.com. Thank you for your support.
On a different note... my adorable PNB Jeff (potential new boyrfiend for those un-cool people) got home late Sunday and took me out for dinner and a movie last night... It was amazing. Just what Ol' Petty needed to take her mind off the missing bag. I also got christmas gift from him... which, at this point, is the only one I have in my possession. A really nice watch... um... sort of... But hey, It's the thought that counts right?
Hasta la Vista
Perhaps my bag doesn't look EXactly like this adorable one, but at this point, I'll take anything. The update on the lost luggage sitch is this... The courier company seems to have "misplaced" my very large bag. They phoned on Saturday... supposedly ready to deliver it but, because they got my cell's voice mail... they didn't attempt to deliver it to the address they had.
Wait... it gets better. When I phoned back to say..."hey, I got your message, I'm so happy that you'll finally be delivering my bag today... and I'm very sorry, my cell is dead because it has taken so long to get my bag and my charger is inside it... but I am home... so come on by..."... I was told that I wouldn't be getting it that day because they were no longer in my area. I then said "Hey, no worries... I'll be home all day tomorrow, let me give you my home number that actually works so you can call ahead..."...
"I'm sorry, we can only call the number that Air Canada has given us"
"OK............. But seeing as how you told me that you will not deliver the bag unless you've spoken to someone, and I've just told you that the phone number you have will not work because the phone is dead and, you won't take a new number.... By that logic, you will always try the cell, not get an answer, and never deliver the bag???"
"Yes"
"OK... that is retarded!"
"Hold Please".... click
This account of the last few days of Bea's life has been brought to you by Ihateaircanadajestgocrossroadscourier.com. Thank you for your support.
On a different note... my adorable PNB Jeff (potential new boyrfiend for those un-cool people) got home late Sunday and took me out for dinner and a movie last night... It was amazing. Just what Ol' Petty needed to take her mind off the missing bag. I also got christmas gift from him... which, at this point, is the only one I have in my possession. A really nice watch... um... sort of... But hey, It's the thought that counts right?
Hasta la Vista
Saturday
ANGELIC ME
OK Everyone...
I am going to try this again. New Year's resolution and all that jazz.
So what's new with good Old Petty you might be wondering. Well??? The answer is not a whole heckofalot. Without going into details about the whole Jetsgo=No go fiasco that was my getting out to BC, and the I hate Air Canada who lost my luggage coming back from BC debacle... Christmas was great. I forgot how green BC is. Oh, and it doesn't smell like garbage.
Lavalife update? Ok... I am seeing someone--I think. He sells real estate and has a cat named Oliver. He's also introduced me to The Family Guy. Perhaps one of the funniest shows EVER. Whatever happens with Jeff... because God knows how much luck I have with men... Don't even get me started on the guy who I just met for coffee... OK, so I met another guy even though I am seeing someone... but Jeff is out of town and I'm not 100% that he's not seeing other people and he didn't even call me at Chritmas even thouhg we were both on the Westcoast... Shut up ok??? Anyway... I just discovered just how big a snob I am... So sue me, I don't think that a 40 year old guy who lives with his mom SHOULD be proud that he is about to get a raise to 13$ an hour. I CAN'T EVEN... Anyway, back to The Family Guy... I will always be indebted to Jeff for introducing me to... UH OH
So, what's new with everyone. Keeping busy? As per usual, I spent the first day of the new year nursing a hangover. It's over now, but the couch is looking pretty darn inviting.
Ciao,
Beatrice
Thursday
How much fun did I have at E's wedding last week??? Most fun ever. It had been so long since all of the old gang had been together... basically a night of drinking, smoking, laughing, toasting, crying etc... anything besides sleeping. And who knew that E was like the most romantic guy ever? Not me! Just amazing!
Enough about that... let's get back to me!
Ok, remember Lavalife? Sometimes I wish I could forget. ...but...Here's the update. The crazy guy from last week turned out to be kind of a flake when it came to me. Still absolutely adorable, but he's not into me really and so that makes me not really into him. We may or may not turn into friends, I guess only time will tell.
As for my British cop... we were supposed to have gone out last Monday, but he got "called into work for an overtime shift". Yeah, right... and monkeys are flying out of my ass as I type. We are supposedly rescheduling-- his parents are visiting from England right now. Don't fret my pretties, I'll update you if anything further happens. So, back to Monday... Already being in the mindset of going out on a date, I got in touch with another guy who I had kind of been blowing off as I was seeing how things turned out with either of the two S's. We went out, he bought me dinner... very nice, very short, very bald (not that there is anything wrong with that... so far only one of my PNBs has had a full head of hair). Yikes.
I guess that brings us to Tuesday... actually Monday night (after my date) ended up chatting with a bloke who had emailed me on Lava... Another Brit if you can believe it? I can't. What are the freaking odds that 2 English expats are both interested in me... I feel like I've died and gone to Petty heaven... Anyway, this one is a chemist, PhD... So, back to Tuesday. We went out, had some drinks and omg, most adorable guy EVER! Had a great time... too bad he's already kind of dissed me. But again, I'll have to see what transpires in the near future. Not sure if I'm cut out for all these dizzying highs, and awful lows.
I guess this is where I should insert a LavaKu. Never wanting to disapoint, here you go:
Hey, thanks for the smile
Too bad you're a Freak Monkey
I'll be blocking you
Until next time kiddies...
Petty Out!
Enough about that... let's get back to me!
Ok, remember Lavalife? Sometimes I wish I could forget. ...but...Here's the update. The crazy guy from last week turned out to be kind of a flake when it came to me. Still absolutely adorable, but he's not into me really and so that makes me not really into him. We may or may not turn into friends, I guess only time will tell.
As for my British cop... we were supposed to have gone out last Monday, but he got "called into work for an overtime shift". Yeah, right... and monkeys are flying out of my ass as I type. We are supposedly rescheduling-- his parents are visiting from England right now. Don't fret my pretties, I'll update you if anything further happens. So, back to Monday... Already being in the mindset of going out on a date, I got in touch with another guy who I had kind of been blowing off as I was seeing how things turned out with either of the two S's. We went out, he bought me dinner... very nice, very short, very bald (not that there is anything wrong with that... so far only one of my PNBs has had a full head of hair). Yikes.
I guess that brings us to Tuesday... actually Monday night (after my date) ended up chatting with a bloke who had emailed me on Lava... Another Brit if you can believe it? I can't. What are the freaking odds that 2 English expats are both interested in me... I feel like I've died and gone to Petty heaven... Anyway, this one is a chemist, PhD... So, back to Tuesday. We went out, had some drinks and omg, most adorable guy EVER! Had a great time... too bad he's already kind of dissed me. But again, I'll have to see what transpires in the near future. Not sure if I'm cut out for all these dizzying highs, and awful lows.
I guess this is where I should insert a LavaKu. Never wanting to disapoint, here you go:
Hey, thanks for the smile
Too bad you're a Freak Monkey
I'll be blocking you
Until next time kiddies...
Petty Out!
Friday
So the big news is......................
Drum role please.............................
I am back in the dating scene (sorry D if you are reading this... just got bored of hanging with the 2 people I know in this town). Yes, it's true... my rubber arm was twisted and I signed up last week on Lavalife. What can I say about it except that it is pretty much the most hysterical thing that I have ever done. It's like going shopping, but for men (and or women, depending on your prefence). For those of you unfamiliar with how it works... let me present to you Lavalife 101.
The first thing you do is write a profile of yourself. And you better make it good because this is peoples' first impression of you. A picture is a necessity because no one will really give your profile a glance if you don't have one... no matter how well written it is. And then the shopping begins. You basically "browse" for the type of guy you are looking for and then scroll through the hundreds available. When you see someone you like, you send them a smile. If they are into you, they send you a smile back, or an mail, or an IM... whatever strikes their fancy. And vice versa. And then, if you don't think they are too freaky, you give them your msn or whatever you happen to use for a personal email and then.... well, you get the picture.
And have I had any luck... you may be asking yourselves? Perhaps. While there a many, many, many freaky people on LL, there are also some nice ones. I had my very first date last night actually. We had some great chemistry on msn and over the phone and I have to say theat he was WAY cuter than any of the pictures that he had sent me... That reminds me, I must tell him that the pics didn't do him any justice and he should think of changing them... or maybe I won't. Would that be evil? Anyway, he was very nice, extremely funny... would love to hang with him again and get to know him a little more. But I guess the important question is whether he thought the same. Didn't hear from him today so I am thinking I greatly offended him in some way. Was it my big fat ass? Perhaps?
But you know what? No worries. Got a few other cuties waiting on the back burner... including a very adorable police officer who just moved here from the UK. Can anyone say "Dream Guy"??? In fact, I have a phone date with him tonight. And of course there are others. Stay tuned to Petty's One Lavalife to Live for future updates.
That's it for now,
Ta
PS. Anyone watch the last debate? Too funny!
Drum role please.............................
I am back in the dating scene (sorry D if you are reading this... just got bored of hanging with the 2 people I know in this town). Yes, it's true... my rubber arm was twisted and I signed up last week on Lavalife. What can I say about it except that it is pretty much the most hysterical thing that I have ever done. It's like going shopping, but for men (and or women, depending on your prefence). For those of you unfamiliar with how it works... let me present to you Lavalife 101.
The first thing you do is write a profile of yourself. And you better make it good because this is peoples' first impression of you. A picture is a necessity because no one will really give your profile a glance if you don't have one... no matter how well written it is. And then the shopping begins. You basically "browse" for the type of guy you are looking for and then scroll through the hundreds available. When you see someone you like, you send them a smile. If they are into you, they send you a smile back, or an mail, or an IM... whatever strikes their fancy. And vice versa. And then, if you don't think they are too freaky, you give them your msn or whatever you happen to use for a personal email and then.... well, you get the picture.
And have I had any luck... you may be asking yourselves? Perhaps. While there a many, many, many freaky people on LL, there are also some nice ones. I had my very first date last night actually. We had some great chemistry on msn and over the phone and I have to say theat he was WAY cuter than any of the pictures that he had sent me... That reminds me, I must tell him that the pics didn't do him any justice and he should think of changing them... or maybe I won't. Would that be evil? Anyway, he was very nice, extremely funny... would love to hang with him again and get to know him a little more. But I guess the important question is whether he thought the same. Didn't hear from him today so I am thinking I greatly offended him in some way. Was it my big fat ass? Perhaps?
But you know what? No worries. Got a few other cuties waiting on the back burner... including a very adorable police officer who just moved here from the UK. Can anyone say "Dream Guy"??? In fact, I have a phone date with him tonight. And of course there are others. Stay tuned to Petty's One Lavalife to Live for future updates.
That's it for now,
Ta
PS. Anyone watch the last debate? Too funny!
Sunday
I'm here,
Been a while, I know, but hey, I never made any promises. Oh wait, I did. Oops.
So, the TIFF is over... so sad. Saw my little Legolas. Saw Mr. Darcy. My life is complete..... JK, althought it was pretty neat. But it is all over and done with and despite the complete lack of sleeping action that took place during the festival I wish that it was still going on. Most fun... ever!
And so, what has replaced it, you may be asking yourselves? You guessed it, the US Presidential Race. As you know-- that is unless you are just some random person who doesn't know me from Adam and stumbled upon this blog by accident-- I am a history freak and of late, I find myself fixated to world events that will be looked on by future generations as "history". It is my belief, and I am somewhat knowledgable in this area... It is my belief that in following these elections, I am watching History in the making. And do not fear, there is a PresidentialKu included in this entry.
So, of course I am a Kerry supporter. It's possible that I am more of a fan of his stepson, but I have yet to figure that one out. It's also possible that I subscribe to the slogan "Anyone but Bush" more than supporting Kerry himself, but again... Oddly enough, I do think that hotty stepson aside, Kerry is actually worthy of the office based on his own merits. And if I hear "wishy-washy" or "flip-flop" one more time. They're right up there with "shock and awe". Remember that one from the attack on Iraq... I don't hear the Kerry/Edwards campaign using the phrase "dumbass" and "metard"... They are far too classy, but it would be SO appropriate.
Ode to Kerry
Oh, that you might win
Once more, sanity down south
Tell Chris to ring me
Ode to Bush
We know, it's HARD work
Attacking the wrong country
Poor little toadey
Two'Kus for the price of one.
I'm outtie
Been a while, I know, but hey, I never made any promises. Oh wait, I did. Oops.
So, the TIFF is over... so sad. Saw my little Legolas. Saw Mr. Darcy. My life is complete..... JK, althought it was pretty neat. But it is all over and done with and despite the complete lack of sleeping action that took place during the festival I wish that it was still going on. Most fun... ever!
And so, what has replaced it, you may be asking yourselves? You guessed it, the US Presidential Race. As you know-- that is unless you are just some random person who doesn't know me from Adam and stumbled upon this blog by accident-- I am a history freak and of late, I find myself fixated to world events that will be looked on by future generations as "history". It is my belief, and I am somewhat knowledgable in this area... It is my belief that in following these elections, I am watching History in the making. And do not fear, there is a PresidentialKu included in this entry.
So, of course I am a Kerry supporter. It's possible that I am more of a fan of his stepson, but I have yet to figure that one out. It's also possible that I subscribe to the slogan "Anyone but Bush" more than supporting Kerry himself, but again... Oddly enough, I do think that hotty stepson aside, Kerry is actually worthy of the office based on his own merits. And if I hear "wishy-washy" or "flip-flop" one more time. They're right up there with "shock and awe". Remember that one from the attack on Iraq... I don't hear the Kerry/Edwards campaign using the phrase "dumbass" and "metard"... They are far too classy, but it would be SO appropriate.
Ode to Kerry
Oh, that you might win
Once more, sanity down south
Tell Chris to ring me
Ode to Bush
We know, it's HARD work
Attacking the wrong country
Poor little toadey
Two'Kus for the price of one.
I'm outtie
Tuesday
Hey Peeps,
I guess I should say a big hello to those of you who are actually checking back now and again to see if I have been updating. And of course I haven't been. It's been ages and I am sorry. I promise to be a little more diligent from now on although.... I think I already promised that once already and nothing really came of it. I would hate to be known as someone who breaks promises so maybe I will just say that I will try to be more diligent from now on. But, yet, at the same time, I make a point of following the wise advice of the Jedi Master, which is to do or do not, there is no try. OK, how about this. I will update this whenever I can/feel like it/have something to say/am bored/all of the above. Does that sound satisfactory? I thought so.
Now, what the heck has been going on with Toronto me? The following should give you a general picture of what my life has been like over the past month... give or take. These are in no particular order.
1) Started a job with the Canadian Olympic Committee. Pretty cool
2) Co-wrote an novel from start to finish in 3 days and entered it into a contest to get it published... I think that is wicked cool!
3) Started a production company with my friend Dee: Shadow Play Productions. Check it out.
4) Had my cat Oreo flown out. A wee bit of a challenge to get two cats to get along.
5) Volunteered/ am volunteering with the Toronto International Film Festival. Pretty much the most fun I have had... ever... and I worked for Club Med, people!
6) Got to see Orlando Bloom... In person. That's right, in the flesh. And... got to meet the director of his movie. And..... his rep. Is he as cute as he is in his photos and movies... yep. (I also saw Ben Mulroney the other day but in no way do I actually count that as a celeb sighting.)
7) Met the head producer of a big production company here in Toronto who has agreed to look at some of my stuff. Yippee!
8) Watched the Olympics--one of the best comedies I have seen in a long time. Someone should sign that Canadian team to a sitcom deal. I am thinking something like Friends, but with more flips. Oh, and also co-composed an alternative version of our national anthem: No Canada, We really, really suck, Can't win a medal, Who knows why the ......." etc, etc.
8) A bunch of other stuff that I can't remember right now because I am so tired from being uber volunteer and having a cat who doesn't let me get any sleep at night!
But before you start saying out loud... "Wow, that Petty sure has a great life in the Big Smoke", there are still some things that have yet to sort themselves out. Here they are, once again, in no particular order.
1) Psycho landlord had a huge freakout on my head for NO reason whatsoever. He is fucking nuts! And I don't mean that in the "KS, gun-loving, devil-voice doing, over-smoking" kind of way-- I mean certifiable like "you really belong in Eric Martin on some heavy meds for the rest of your life" kind of crazy. He is not allowed back into our loft and...
2) While that is a good thing on so many levels, it means that our construction has now come to a grinding halt because Dee and I have just been too busy to get someone else in here to finish it off. Poo.
3) Love life? We don't need no stinking love life?
4) Petty has not "Been Petty" for a very long time :(
5) The TIFF, which has of late become my raison d'etre will be over on Saturday. Whatever shall become of me?
JK-----------> hand sign
Petty
I guess I should say a big hello to those of you who are actually checking back now and again to see if I have been updating. And of course I haven't been. It's been ages and I am sorry. I promise to be a little more diligent from now on although.... I think I already promised that once already and nothing really came of it. I would hate to be known as someone who breaks promises so maybe I will just say that I will try to be more diligent from now on. But, yet, at the same time, I make a point of following the wise advice of the Jedi Master, which is to do or do not, there is no try. OK, how about this. I will update this whenever I can/feel like it/have something to say/am bored/all of the above. Does that sound satisfactory? I thought so.
Now, what the heck has been going on with Toronto me? The following should give you a general picture of what my life has been like over the past month... give or take. These are in no particular order.
1) Started a job with the Canadian Olympic Committee. Pretty cool
2) Co-wrote an novel from start to finish in 3 days and entered it into a contest to get it published... I think that is wicked cool!
3) Started a production company with my friend Dee: Shadow Play Productions. Check it out.
4) Had my cat Oreo flown out. A wee bit of a challenge to get two cats to get along.
5) Volunteered/ am volunteering with the Toronto International Film Festival. Pretty much the most fun I have had... ever... and I worked for Club Med, people!
6) Got to see Orlando Bloom... In person. That's right, in the flesh. And... got to meet the director of his movie. And..... his rep. Is he as cute as he is in his photos and movies... yep. (I also saw Ben Mulroney the other day but in no way do I actually count that as a celeb sighting.)
7) Met the head producer of a big production company here in Toronto who has agreed to look at some of my stuff. Yippee!
8) Watched the Olympics--one of the best comedies I have seen in a long time. Someone should sign that Canadian team to a sitcom deal. I am thinking something like Friends, but with more flips. Oh, and also co-composed an alternative version of our national anthem: No Canada, We really, really suck, Can't win a medal, Who knows why the ......." etc, etc.
8) A bunch of other stuff that I can't remember right now because I am so tired from being uber volunteer and having a cat who doesn't let me get any sleep at night!
But before you start saying out loud... "Wow, that Petty sure has a great life in the Big Smoke", there are still some things that have yet to sort themselves out. Here they are, once again, in no particular order.
1) Psycho landlord had a huge freakout on my head for NO reason whatsoever. He is fucking nuts! And I don't mean that in the "KS, gun-loving, devil-voice doing, over-smoking" kind of way-- I mean certifiable like "you really belong in Eric Martin on some heavy meds for the rest of your life" kind of crazy. He is not allowed back into our loft and...
2) While that is a good thing on so many levels, it means that our construction has now come to a grinding halt because Dee and I have just been too busy to get someone else in here to finish it off. Poo.
3) Love life? We don't need no stinking love life?
4) Petty has not "Been Petty" for a very long time :(
5) The TIFF, which has of late become my raison d'etre will be over on Saturday. Whatever shall become of me?
JK-----------> hand sign
Petty
Friday
Helloski Friends,
Just a few things on my mind today folks. With that in mind, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce a new segemt on Be Petty called: "What's up with the World?!?!?!?!?!"
So WUWTW? Plenty O' crazy things. For one, that crazy beeyatch Linndie England? Have you been following this? She is the US Army chick who was photographed with the naked Iraqi POWs??? Well apparently, at her court martial hearing, she claimed she was "just following orders". OK, is it just me or have we heard THAT particular excuse before? Say, at the Nuremburg Trials? From all those Nazi and Einszatgruppen mo fo's? And her superiors calling her a rogue soldier? Is NO ONE going to take responsibility for the fact they they sexually abused people, regardless of who they are and what they may or may not have done? And does anyone have faith that the Bush administration will get to the bottom of the whole affairs(s)? I think not. Anyway, be assured that I will have more to say on this whole disgusting turn of events. POO.
And..............................on a happier note, the Olympics are just a weekish away. Are you all as excited as I am? I think not. Oh, FYI, I'll soon be working for the Canadian Olympic Committee. Questions? Call me. Anyway, I LOVE THE OLYMPICS! If it is Prime Time in the Big Smoke... don't call me. Why? I'll be watching the olympics...duh!
Buh-Bye
Just a few things on my mind today folks. With that in mind, I would like to take this opportunity to introduce a new segemt on Be Petty called: "What's up with the World?!?!?!?!?!"
So WUWTW? Plenty O' crazy things. For one, that crazy beeyatch Linndie England? Have you been following this? She is the US Army chick who was photographed with the naked Iraqi POWs??? Well apparently, at her court martial hearing, she claimed she was "just following orders". OK, is it just me or have we heard THAT particular excuse before? Say, at the Nuremburg Trials? From all those Nazi and Einszatgruppen mo fo's? And her superiors calling her a rogue soldier? Is NO ONE going to take responsibility for the fact they they sexually abused people, regardless of who they are and what they may or may not have done? And does anyone have faith that the Bush administration will get to the bottom of the whole affairs(s)? I think not. Anyway, be assured that I will have more to say on this whole disgusting turn of events. POO.
And..............................on a happier note, the Olympics are just a weekish away. Are you all as excited as I am? I think not. Oh, FYI, I'll soon be working for the Canadian Olympic Committee. Questions? Call me. Anyway, I LOVE THE OLYMPICS! If it is Prime Time in the Big Smoke... don't call me. Why? I'll be watching the olympics...duh!
Buh-Bye
Tuesday
Well Hello!
Once again, 1000 apologies for neglecting ye olde blog. There is no excuse really... it's not like I have any money and can gallivant around the big city to my hearts' content. Nope, this chickee-poo is stupid broke... thanks to... anyone know the Canuck version of "Uncle Sam"? Yes, thanks to the incompetence of our public servants at HRDC, I find myself without an income for the past month and a half. POO IN THE GARDEN!
Other than that, things are wonderful. What of the loft, you ask? Well, like the ostrich who buries his head in the sand to avoid dealing with the reality of it's precarious situation, so too have I decided to disassociate myself with the whole affair. Will it ever be finished? Who cares, let's have another beer!
So, I've started working at an advertising company on a contract basis... mostly working on some year end projects. What have I learned you may be asking yourselves? Well, I have the privilege to tell all of you out there that despite all the rumours that you may have heard, 9 out of 10 Ontario DO women prefer to buy premium brand milk. I know, I know, hard to believe, but if Ipsos Reid says it's true then it must be! I also found out that I was accepted as an Industry Relations rep for the Toronto International Film Festival. Yep, that's right, in a little over a month, yours truly will be hobnobbing (fingers crossed) with the greatest talents of our time. Stay tuned for more details.
Cheerio mes amis, keep on keepin' on and all such nonsense. I haven't heard from many people lately so I hope y'all are doing well. I shall leave you all with an ode to the DNC. How much did you love Teresa Heinz Kerry (and her sons... yum)
dncKu
more, MORE, MORE BALLOONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What are those fuckers doing!?!
Shit, the mike is on.
LOL,
Be
Once again, 1000 apologies for neglecting ye olde blog. There is no excuse really... it's not like I have any money and can gallivant around the big city to my hearts' content. Nope, this chickee-poo is stupid broke... thanks to... anyone know the Canuck version of "Uncle Sam"? Yes, thanks to the incompetence of our public servants at HRDC, I find myself without an income for the past month and a half. POO IN THE GARDEN!
Other than that, things are wonderful. What of the loft, you ask? Well, like the ostrich who buries his head in the sand to avoid dealing with the reality of it's precarious situation, so too have I decided to disassociate myself with the whole affair. Will it ever be finished? Who cares, let's have another beer!
So, I've started working at an advertising company on a contract basis... mostly working on some year end projects. What have I learned you may be asking yourselves? Well, I have the privilege to tell all of you out there that despite all the rumours that you may have heard, 9 out of 10 Ontario DO women prefer to buy premium brand milk. I know, I know, hard to believe, but if Ipsos Reid says it's true then it must be! I also found out that I was accepted as an Industry Relations rep for the Toronto International Film Festival. Yep, that's right, in a little over a month, yours truly will be hobnobbing (fingers crossed) with the greatest talents of our time. Stay tuned for more details.
Cheerio mes amis, keep on keepin' on and all such nonsense. I haven't heard from many people lately so I hope y'all are doing well. I shall leave you all with an ode to the DNC. How much did you love Teresa Heinz Kerry (and her sons... yum)
dncKu
more, MORE, MORE BALLOONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What are those fuckers doing!?!
Shit, the mike is on.
LOL,
Be
Thursday
Just a short poem today for all you wonderful people out there........ A "constructionKu" if you will. I call it... "Welcome to Hell"
Welcome to Hell
You lazy MoFo!
don't care if you ARE crazy!
Build, you monkey, build!
Yes, it seems that any progress on the loft lately has been initiated by yours truly... and believe me, what very little patience that I ever possessed has now run out. It is a shame that most of you will not be around to meet the new superhero character that I am poised to become..........................
I call her UberBeeyatch and she will get her powers from the build up of all the little frustrations experienced in daily life. For example, you be petty and go to the movies and ask for a bar of ice cream and the jerkwad at the register tells you that they don't have ice cream when you can CLEARLY see at least 2 fridges filled with ice cream bars behind him (yes I have another movie clerk enemy). That particular incident had a happy ending though, with the fortunate last minute arrival of the ice cream man later in the evening... but you get the picture. God help the creatures that cause her distress--they will not know what hit them! And yes, she speaks with an Austrian accent not unlike Awnold. I think I'll trade mark it!
So what's going on with all of you? Haven't heard from some people in a while. Are you all alive?
TTFN,
P
ps. congrats to the Twaddle-Booths on their recent nuptials. love you both. mwa.
Welcome to Hell
You lazy MoFo!
don't care if you ARE crazy!
Build, you monkey, build!
Yes, it seems that any progress on the loft lately has been initiated by yours truly... and believe me, what very little patience that I ever possessed has now run out. It is a shame that most of you will not be around to meet the new superhero character that I am poised to become..........................
I call her UberBeeyatch and she will get her powers from the build up of all the little frustrations experienced in daily life. For example, you be petty and go to the movies and ask for a bar of ice cream and the jerkwad at the register tells you that they don't have ice cream when you can CLEARLY see at least 2 fridges filled with ice cream bars behind him (yes I have another movie clerk enemy). That particular incident had a happy ending though, with the fortunate last minute arrival of the ice cream man later in the evening... but you get the picture. God help the creatures that cause her distress--they will not know what hit them! And yes, she speaks with an Austrian accent not unlike Awnold. I think I'll trade mark it!
So what's going on with all of you? Haven't heard from some people in a while. Are you all alive?
TTFN,
P
ps. congrats to the Twaddle-Booths on their recent nuptials. love you both. mwa.
Tuesday
What can I say except I am reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally, truly sorry that I have not updated this in like a month. Without going into too much detail, life was a teensy bit hectic this last little while. What, with living in a crack house for a week and then moving into the new loft... and said loft not being finished when it was supposed to... and still not. Well let's just say some things have been put on the back burner. But enough about that. I live with it and deal with it everyday so let this blog entry NOT be about that! Any questions and/or comments about the loft and our crazy jailbird, rotting teeth 40 year old superintendant with a crush on my 23 year old roomate can be directed to onecleanshotthroughthetemple@whitepaddedroom.com.
And how the hell are all of you? I promise that I will update this more. But until then, I must go. My glass of red wine calls. And perhaps, Uncle Herb will show up later and hang out with ole' Petty this evening. Stay tuned for further updates.
Cheerio
And how the hell are all of you? I promise that I will update this more. But until then, I must go. My glass of red wine calls. And perhaps, Uncle Herb will show up later and hang out with ole' Petty this evening. Stay tuned for further updates.
Cheerio
Thursday
Good day!
Well, I just went to my very first Blue Jays game ever... How exciting is that? Pretty exciting. Would have been better if the Jays hadn't gotten their butts kicked!!! At the bottom of the 9th the score was 19 to 7... 19 to 7??? What the hell is that all about? Anyway, somehow or other, they did manage to scrape a few runs out of their asses and te final score ended up being 19 to 13... I guess it could have been worse... not.
And some good news is that I get to move into "super-loft" this coming Monday as the people in there now are moving out this weekend. Yippee. Now I don't have to spend a moment longer in the place that I have affectionately come to call "House of the Rising Crack"... there is, a house, in Toe-rawn-toe, where people all do crack... and it's been the ruin of many a cute girl... and god, I know, I'm one. Alright, it isn't really that bad... just having a little fun.
Let's see, what else. Oh, had a meeting with a casting agent this week and I go Monday to get my picture taken professionally. You may be coming to a theatre near you very soon. I'm hoping to get cast in the part of "Girl with Big Ass". And I am also thinking of picking up a stage name... How does Beatrice Petty... get it... Bee Petty... Be Petty. Ha Ha, I kill me!
Au revoir
Well, I just went to my very first Blue Jays game ever... How exciting is that? Pretty exciting. Would have been better if the Jays hadn't gotten their butts kicked!!! At the bottom of the 9th the score was 19 to 7... 19 to 7??? What the hell is that all about? Anyway, somehow or other, they did manage to scrape a few runs out of their asses and te final score ended up being 19 to 13... I guess it could have been worse... not.
And some good news is that I get to move into "super-loft" this coming Monday as the people in there now are moving out this weekend. Yippee. Now I don't have to spend a moment longer in the place that I have affectionately come to call "House of the Rising Crack"... there is, a house, in Toe-rawn-toe, where people all do crack... and it's been the ruin of many a cute girl... and god, I know, I'm one. Alright, it isn't really that bad... just having a little fun.
Let's see, what else. Oh, had a meeting with a casting agent this week and I go Monday to get my picture taken professionally. You may be coming to a theatre near you very soon. I'm hoping to get cast in the part of "Girl with Big Ass". And I am also thinking of picking up a stage name... How does Beatrice Petty... get it... Bee Petty... Be Petty. Ha Ha, I kill me!
Au revoir
Tuesday
Yo-Yo Ma!
Did you know that there is actually a Yo-Yo Ma street here? Right off of Queens Quay (kwaaayyyy ;). Very bizarre. Speaking of bizarre... so, right now, I am staying in a lovely little rooming house in Cracktown USA... very posh dawlings... but hey, it's cheap. I was going to say clean but I can't be sure of that. Luckily it's only for this week and then I get to move into "Super-Loft". Yay, I can't wait.
As I have been sitting here, in this internet cafe on Bloor, a guy sitting very near to me has been having a pleasant chat with his girlfriend... wait, that doesn't quite describe it. Actually, they have been fighting and just broke up... I heard the whole thing (blah, blah, blah stalking, blah, blah, blah don't call me ever again bitch). Now he is on his phone changing all his numbers, while doing whatever on the internet. Apparently he is quite the multi-tasker... we could all learn a lesson from this chap, I'm telling ya. I'm thinking that maybe this busy internet cafe is not the best place to have uber-personal conversations but hey... that's just one gals' opinion.
Speaking of opinions... tossing around production company names with my good friend Dee. We really like "Cold Spore Productions" but it was shot down by a couple of people. Whaddy'all think? Any other suggestions? I'm also toying around with "Petty Coat Productions" but that doesn't really work with Dee at all... Somehow, we need to combine "petty" with "czech"... if you can come up with something, let me know. "Petty Coat Czech"? Don't think so.
Alright, I'm outy people. RRDJ before I do though. Brigette Jones' Diary. Colin Firth and Hugh Grant... Enough said!
Byeee
Did you know that there is actually a Yo-Yo Ma street here? Right off of Queens Quay (kwaaayyyy ;). Very bizarre. Speaking of bizarre... so, right now, I am staying in a lovely little rooming house in Cracktown USA... very posh dawlings... but hey, it's cheap. I was going to say clean but I can't be sure of that. Luckily it's only for this week and then I get to move into "Super-Loft". Yay, I can't wait.
As I have been sitting here, in this internet cafe on Bloor, a guy sitting very near to me has been having a pleasant chat with his girlfriend... wait, that doesn't quite describe it. Actually, they have been fighting and just broke up... I heard the whole thing (blah, blah, blah stalking, blah, blah, blah don't call me ever again bitch). Now he is on his phone changing all his numbers, while doing whatever on the internet. Apparently he is quite the multi-tasker... we could all learn a lesson from this chap, I'm telling ya. I'm thinking that maybe this busy internet cafe is not the best place to have uber-personal conversations but hey... that's just one gals' opinion.
Speaking of opinions... tossing around production company names with my good friend Dee. We really like "Cold Spore Productions" but it was shot down by a couple of people. Whaddy'all think? Any other suggestions? I'm also toying around with "Petty Coat Productions" but that doesn't really work with Dee at all... Somehow, we need to combine "petty" with "czech"... if you can come up with something, let me know. "Petty Coat Czech"? Don't think so.
Alright, I'm outy people. RRDJ before I do though. Brigette Jones' Diary. Colin Firth and Hugh Grant... Enough said!
Byeee
Sunday
Sorry Peeps,
Been ages since I've had a moment to update this thing...
It's a beautiful Sunday here in the Big Smoke! A hello to all of you out on the west coast... I hear it is stinking hot out there this weekend. Tee Hee. Don't worry, I am sure I'll get my comeupance soon. We've already had some stupid humid days and I am told that it is nothing to what I will experience in the months to come. We'll see.
So, what have I been up to??? Lots and lots of things. There is so much to see and do here, I love it. Went to Canada's Wonderland last week and up to the top of the CN Tower. Both very cool places. Canada's Wonderland was fun but unfortunately 2 things happened that made the day not as fun as it could have been. The first was that there were 3 of us... not such a good idea going to an amusement park with 3 people as there is bound to be one person who always has to go on a ride by themselves. Luckily for me though, the third person (Dee's cuz) had absolutely no interest in actually doing anything fun!!! Kind of makes the visit less than it could be... always worrying about that other person. But that, I could have gotten over. The 2nd thing was the lightning. For some reason, the management at Canada's Wonderland feel that riding in big giant metal contraptions is hazardous during a thunderstorm??? I say, let us decide whether we want to risk our lives in the name of fun. And they call this a free country. Jesus! Oh, and perhaps for the next time, I will Be Petty... especially when I go on the Drop Zone. Never been so scared in my entire life!
And the CN Tower??? I guess I had no choice but to do it once but it was a little pricey for what you actually get. Petty's suggestion is that if you ever find yourself at the base of the tower wondering if you should pay a few dollars extra to see the glass floor... DO IT! Truly, that was the best part of the trip. Trust me, you'll pay your 25$, get up to the top and say "I just paid $25?!? For what?!? Yay, it's so smoggy that I can barely see anything, Yay!!!!"
But listen folks... I gotta run. Sorry, no WhateverKus today. All my creative energies have been going into my writing projects so I am all tapped out. That, and due to my most recent stint at my friend Raw Bees place, I am a little s.l.o.w... if you get my drift.
ciao
Been ages since I've had a moment to update this thing...
It's a beautiful Sunday here in the Big Smoke! A hello to all of you out on the west coast... I hear it is stinking hot out there this weekend. Tee Hee. Don't worry, I am sure I'll get my comeupance soon. We've already had some stupid humid days and I am told that it is nothing to what I will experience in the months to come. We'll see.
So, what have I been up to??? Lots and lots of things. There is so much to see and do here, I love it. Went to Canada's Wonderland last week and up to the top of the CN Tower. Both very cool places. Canada's Wonderland was fun but unfortunately 2 things happened that made the day not as fun as it could have been. The first was that there were 3 of us... not such a good idea going to an amusement park with 3 people as there is bound to be one person who always has to go on a ride by themselves. Luckily for me though, the third person (Dee's cuz) had absolutely no interest in actually doing anything fun!!! Kind of makes the visit less than it could be... always worrying about that other person. But that, I could have gotten over. The 2nd thing was the lightning. For some reason, the management at Canada's Wonderland feel that riding in big giant metal contraptions is hazardous during a thunderstorm??? I say, let us decide whether we want to risk our lives in the name of fun. And they call this a free country. Jesus! Oh, and perhaps for the next time, I will Be Petty... especially when I go on the Drop Zone. Never been so scared in my entire life!
And the CN Tower??? I guess I had no choice but to do it once but it was a little pricey for what you actually get. Petty's suggestion is that if you ever find yourself at the base of the tower wondering if you should pay a few dollars extra to see the glass floor... DO IT! Truly, that was the best part of the trip. Trust me, you'll pay your 25$, get up to the top and say "I just paid $25?!? For what?!? Yay, it's so smoggy that I can barely see anything, Yay!!!!"
But listen folks... I gotta run. Sorry, no WhateverKus today. All my creative energies have been going into my writing projects so I am all tapped out. That, and due to my most recent stint at my friend Raw Bees place, I am a little s.l.o.w... if you get my drift.
ciao
Wednesday
G'day!
How are you all doing today? Me? Excellent. I am starting to et used to the humidity. I have been told that it gets much, much worse than this.... I'll be ready for it. There are supposed to be some thunderstorms this evening. Yay!
And for those of you who I haven't been able to get a hold of for whatever reasons, allow me mention my future residence in this fine city. It's a loft. A wonderful, beautiful, glorious loft! I was hardly able to imagine what a loft was before I came out here, because I'm pretty sure that they don't exist in Victoria. Anyway... they are pretty damn cool. Oh, and did I mention it has a very lovely little patio?
In the meantime, I am learning my way around the city. Haven't made it too far east yet but that will come sometime in the next week or so. I am loving the TTC. I don't understand why other cities (ahem, victoria) don't follow their example. And so, I would like to honour one of my favorite modes of transit in Toronto and believe me, there are plenty to choose from...
ODE TO THE STREET CAR (aka. the trolley)
To board the small tram,
watch for oncoming traffic.
It runs on train tracks!
Stay tuned for the newest sub-category of the Honku... TransKu. The possibilities are endless folks!
How are you all doing today? Me? Excellent. I am starting to et used to the humidity. I have been told that it gets much, much worse than this.... I'll be ready for it. There are supposed to be some thunderstorms this evening. Yay!
And for those of you who I haven't been able to get a hold of for whatever reasons, allow me mention my future residence in this fine city. It's a loft. A wonderful, beautiful, glorious loft! I was hardly able to imagine what a loft was before I came out here, because I'm pretty sure that they don't exist in Victoria. Anyway... they are pretty damn cool. Oh, and did I mention it has a very lovely little patio?
In the meantime, I am learning my way around the city. Haven't made it too far east yet but that will come sometime in the next week or so. I am loving the TTC. I don't understand why other cities (ahem, victoria) don't follow their example. And so, I would like to honour one of my favorite modes of transit in Toronto and believe me, there are plenty to choose from...
ODE TO THE STREET CAR (aka. the trolley)
To board the small tram,
watch for oncoming traffic.
It runs on train tracks!
Stay tuned for the newest sub-category of the Honku... TransKu. The possibilities are endless folks!
Monday
humid and nasty,
that's the weather in toronto today. i will try not complain too much as I know that this is nothing--i'll leave that for july and august. at least i am out of the boonies and in downtown t.o. it is all very exciting.
speaking of exciting... anyone have a chance to check out prisoner of azkhaban yet? saw it opening day and before i can make an honest judgment, i need to see it again. is it different? holy crap! yes! wasn't expecting it to have been so different from the first 2. but it is great in it's own way. will write a better petty review when i see it again... in imax maybe. can you tell i am tired today?
petty out
that's the weather in toronto today. i will try not complain too much as I know that this is nothing--i'll leave that for july and august. at least i am out of the boonies and in downtown t.o. it is all very exciting.
speaking of exciting... anyone have a chance to check out prisoner of azkhaban yet? saw it opening day and before i can make an honest judgment, i need to see it again. is it different? holy crap! yes! wasn't expecting it to have been so different from the first 2. but it is great in it's own way. will write a better petty review when i see it again... in imax maybe. can you tell i am tired today?
petty out
Wednesday
Allo Allo,
So, just finished reading Dude, Where's My Country. Absolutely fantastic but at the same time, scary as hell. I stand by my belief that Michael Moore will one day a) be President of the United States, b) be assasinated by right-wing conservative wackos (aka the bush administration), c) seek poilical asylum in Canada or d) all of the above. I guess only time will tell. I am waiting impatiently to see Farenheit 9/11. Rest assured, when the time comes Petty will be there to give you the yay or nay. As I type I am a little teary eyed as I watch the end of Emma with Gwyneth Paltrow. Is there any writer as gifted as Jane Austen? I think not. I love happy endings.
Speaking of happy endings, it looks as though Dee and I will be taking this sweet-ass loft that we found downtown. It reminds of the the ones you see the cool people in movies living in. Best of all, it has this uber-great patio that is almost the size of the main floor of the loft. Oh, the plans we have for it! My good friend S.T-B will be proud once we get it all organized for growing veggies etc... And no, the etc... doesn't include anything that will allow Petty to Be Petty. Petty is not in Kansas, I mean BC anymore folks!
I will leave you for now, but before I do, I will present you with this StormKu, in honour of my first Ontario Thunderstom which occured last night.
White Stripes
White Stripes, striking down
Amid a clasp of thunder
Could it rain harder?
So, just finished reading Dude, Where's My Country. Absolutely fantastic but at the same time, scary as hell. I stand by my belief that Michael Moore will one day a) be President of the United States, b) be assasinated by right-wing conservative wackos (aka the bush administration), c) seek poilical asylum in Canada or d) all of the above. I guess only time will tell. I am waiting impatiently to see Farenheit 9/11. Rest assured, when the time comes Petty will be there to give you the yay or nay. As I type I am a little teary eyed as I watch the end of Emma with Gwyneth Paltrow. Is there any writer as gifted as Jane Austen? I think not. I love happy endings.
Speaking of happy endings, it looks as though Dee and I will be taking this sweet-ass loft that we found downtown. It reminds of the the ones you see the cool people in movies living in. Best of all, it has this uber-great patio that is almost the size of the main floor of the loft. Oh, the plans we have for it! My good friend S.T-B will be proud once we get it all organized for growing veggies etc... And no, the etc... doesn't include anything that will allow Petty to Be Petty. Petty is not in Kansas, I mean BC anymore folks!
I will leave you for now, but before I do, I will present you with this StormKu, in honour of my first Ontario Thunderstom which occured last night.
White Stripes
White Stripes, striking down
Amid a clasp of thunder
Could it rain harder?
Monday
Hey Diddly-Ho Neighbourinos,
Well, here I am, my first weekend passed in Onterrible--a horrible moniker but fitting today as the weather is absolute kakka. A huge difference from this past weekend which was spectacular. I wish I had some wonderful stories to tell from my first Toronto weekend but in truth, it was pretty quiet. I am actually not in Toronto proper but Mississauga staying at my friend Dee's parents house so I am a wee bit isolated. What am I doing right now you may be asking yourself? Well, obviously I am typing my blog but I am also on hold with Bell who was supposed to have put my # change through hours ago. It's been about 12 minutes now. Am I happy??? In a word, no.
Got to have a bite with my wonderful friend E today as he works by the big mall where I got my # changed (supposedly). It was great to see him and I look forward to seeing him a bit more often than I did whilst living on the rock. And let's see... what else did I do this weekend. Looked at an amazing loft on Saturday but not sure if Dee and I can swing it as it needs a little bit of reno put in before we could make it work.
Sunday was great... went to the ROM and checked out the Eternal Egypt exhibit. It'll be in Victoria on July 10th and I highly recommend it. Unless you plan on visiting the British Museum before you die you will be hard pressed to find a broader sweep of historical artefacts. If I may make some suggestions however... DO NOT GO: 1) on a weekend 2) when the exhibit first opens 3) a week before the exhibit closes. I did 2 out of 3 and found myself frustrated with the crowds. It's possible that I will head again before friday and get a better look.
That is all,
Me
Well, here I am, my first weekend passed in Onterrible--a horrible moniker but fitting today as the weather is absolute kakka. A huge difference from this past weekend which was spectacular. I wish I had some wonderful stories to tell from my first Toronto weekend but in truth, it was pretty quiet. I am actually not in Toronto proper but Mississauga staying at my friend Dee's parents house so I am a wee bit isolated. What am I doing right now you may be asking yourself? Well, obviously I am typing my blog but I am also on hold with Bell who was supposed to have put my # change through hours ago. It's been about 12 minutes now. Am I happy??? In a word, no.
Got to have a bite with my wonderful friend E today as he works by the big mall where I got my # changed (supposedly). It was great to see him and I look forward to seeing him a bit more often than I did whilst living on the rock. And let's see... what else did I do this weekend. Looked at an amazing loft on Saturday but not sure if Dee and I can swing it as it needs a little bit of reno put in before we could make it work.
Sunday was great... went to the ROM and checked out the Eternal Egypt exhibit. It'll be in Victoria on July 10th and I highly recommend it. Unless you plan on visiting the British Museum before you die you will be hard pressed to find a broader sweep of historical artefacts. If I may make some suggestions however... DO NOT GO: 1) on a weekend 2) when the exhibit first opens 3) a week before the exhibit closes. I did 2 out of 3 and found myself frustrated with the crowds. It's possible that I will head again before friday and get a better look.
That is all,
Me
Friday
Well people,
Here I am, my last night in BC for a while. I am way too tired to go into the gory details of the last couple of days... today in particular but please don't fret my pretties. As I type my mind is whirring away at all the MoveKu possibilities. Stay tuned.
Sorry, but that will have to do for now. I need to sleep.
Byeee,
Petty
Here I am, my last night in BC for a while. I am way too tired to go into the gory details of the last couple of days... today in particular but please don't fret my pretties. As I type my mind is whirring away at all the MoveKu possibilities. Stay tuned.
Sorry, but that will have to do for now. I need to sleep.
Byeee,
Petty
Tuesday
Friday
Hi!
A big thanks goes out to Wee, who luckily pointed out the "TDB" made no sense. She is absolutely right, although I do happen to think that "to de betermined" has a nice ring to it. Please sign my petition if you think so too. Also, I think "to ae bannounced" is also good.
With regards to the "TDB" from my previous post, my wrist has now turned a a gorgeous yellowy colour with just a titch of bright red for that extra flair. Luckily, the swelling hasn't gone down.
So, I was going to regale y'all with my new honku entitled "Fuckers from Alberta, go home!", but I decided that I would write my "OldNavyKu" because that is what I have been doing for most of today.
Lament to the 1 1/2 Line Up
Oh, cheap ass clothing...
Why do we all love you so?
Glad I don't work here!
Enough for now. I'mm off to shred and then to see Brad Pitt's ass. Yay!
NTFT
A big thanks goes out to Wee, who luckily pointed out the "TDB" made no sense. She is absolutely right, although I do happen to think that "to de betermined" has a nice ring to it. Please sign my petition if you think so too. Also, I think "to ae bannounced" is also good.
With regards to the "TDB" from my previous post, my wrist has now turned a a gorgeous yellowy colour with just a titch of bright red for that extra flair. Luckily, the swelling hasn't gone down.
So, I was going to regale y'all with my new honku entitled "Fuckers from Alberta, go home!", but I decided that I would write my "OldNavyKu" because that is what I have been doing for most of today.
Lament to the 1 1/2 Line Up
Oh, cheap ass clothing...
Why do we all love you so?
Glad I don't work here!
Enough for now. I'mm off to shred and then to see Brad Pitt's ass. Yay!
NTFT
Wednesday
Hello my lovelies!
Well, here I am once again, same as usual except for a remarkable party wound that I picked up on Saturday night/Sunday am. Let me just set up the scenario for y'all.
Date: Saturday, May 16th
Event: MG's Stagette
5pm-7pm: All aboard the SS Fantasea IV for some drinks and fun.
7pm-7:05pm: Stop at a wharf to pick up Carlos, the midget stripper (ok, he wasn't exactly a midget, but 5'2" is pretty darn close)
7:05pm-7:30pm: Converse with said stripper
7:30pm-7:50pm: Wait around for said stripper to wank himself off.
7:50pm-8pm: Watch stripper girate for MG. Relish in the look of disgust on MG's face as Minipeeler does his "Ice cream Man" number... so funny!
Jump ahead to....................
11pm-3am: Get progressivley wasted. At somepoint early on, lose purse with keys and phone.
3am: Unable to find purse, arrive home ready to break in through Oreo's window in the back.
3:10am: Weight of the 50lb old fashionned window comes crashing down on wrist.
Sunday, May 17th: BAD BAD DAY!!!!!
Monday through Tuesday: arm getting bluer and purplier and puffier by the minute
Wednesday- TDB
So, there you have it, not one of my most spectacular pw's... nothing broken or sprained at any rate. But I'm sure you all have some better stories than that. Feel free to share.
Other than that, just getting the old apt. ready for the move. Same old shite. Leave in one week and 3 days. Can't wait to see everyone in TO!
TTFN,
J
Well, here I am once again, same as usual except for a remarkable party wound that I picked up on Saturday night/Sunday am. Let me just set up the scenario for y'all.
Date: Saturday, May 16th
Event: MG's Stagette
5pm-7pm: All aboard the SS Fantasea IV for some drinks and fun.
7pm-7:05pm: Stop at a wharf to pick up Carlos, the midget stripper (ok, he wasn't exactly a midget, but 5'2" is pretty darn close)
7:05pm-7:30pm: Converse with said stripper
7:30pm-7:50pm: Wait around for said stripper to wank himself off.
7:50pm-8pm: Watch stripper girate for MG. Relish in the look of disgust on MG's face as Minipeeler does his "Ice cream Man" number... so funny!
Jump ahead to....................
11pm-3am: Get progressivley wasted. At somepoint early on, lose purse with keys and phone.
3am: Unable to find purse, arrive home ready to break in through Oreo's window in the back.
3:10am: Weight of the 50lb old fashionned window comes crashing down on wrist.
Sunday, May 17th: BAD BAD DAY!!!!!
Monday through Tuesday: arm getting bluer and purplier and puffier by the minute
Wednesday- TDB
So, there you have it, not one of my most spectacular pw's... nothing broken or sprained at any rate. But I'm sure you all have some better stories than that. Feel free to share.
Other than that, just getting the old apt. ready for the move. Same old shite. Leave in one week and 3 days. Can't wait to see everyone in TO!
TTFN,
J
Thursday
Wow,
It's been ages since I've done an update. I love the new version of blogger... so pretty.
Anyway folks, my sincerest apologies for the lack of activity on Be Petty this last month (my friend Art gave me kakka for not having written anything since April... I'll try not to mention that he didn't update his for 2 months...oops, I guess I just mentionned it). So sue me people... I've been busy. It takes a lot of work to up and move across the country by yourself!!!
Do I have a job yet? Nope. A place to live? Nyet. A clue about anything at all??? Absafuckinglutely not! But that's half the fun right? I'll just keep telling myself that. But seriously, despite some people telling me that I am making the wrong decision (actually just one person) everyone, including my parents are very excited for me. Yay. And of course I am excited for myself. Worried? Yes. Afterall, I may be SUPERCOOL in little old Victoria, but will I be so in Toronto? I guess I should be thankful that I no longer strive to be a full time party girl... I hear the TO nightclubs are a tad more formal than the ones out here ("Like, oh ma gawd Britney, did you see that girl? She's like, wearing jeans out to a club? let's shun her!). Yes, some people fear world war, crime and clowns but not me (I trust you will all figure out that I am joking... mostly... I don't like clowns).
As I type, my car is in for a wee bit of servicing so I can sell it before I leave. Anyone wanna buy a Mazda 626? Car 5-0 is a very nice little car. Been around the block a few times and slightly abused by his current owner, but he would make a nice student a good little car. Any takers? Going once, twice....
So, besides packing etc... not much else new to report. I do have a RRDJ to throw out though. For a nice little getaway from reality, check out Van Helsing (Dee, think Lucius Malfoy and you'll figure out how to pronounce it, hee hee.... Harry Potter comes out June 4th yay... sorry folks, a little bit of an aside). I went and saw it this week with my good friend SAM who happend to spy the 2 production mistakes made in the entire film. Maybe those with a prediliction for being nitpicky should avoid the film. Anyway, a nice little yarn... good effects, interesting story, some plot twists, Hugh Jackman. You know, the usual things that make a movie a good one. Mmmmmm, Hugh Jackman... Talk amongst yourselves while I fantasize for a few minutes.......................................... Ok, I'm back. So, yah, check out Van Helsing, the newest movie to carry the Be Petty seal of approval. What's on the [plate next--Troy, this sunday suposedly. I'll let y'all know what I think of that. But with little Legolas in it, how can it not be good? Mmmmm, Legolas....
It's been ages since I've done an update. I love the new version of blogger... so pretty.
Anyway folks, my sincerest apologies for the lack of activity on Be Petty this last month (my friend Art gave me kakka for not having written anything since April... I'll try not to mention that he didn't update his for 2 months...oops, I guess I just mentionned it). So sue me people... I've been busy. It takes a lot of work to up and move across the country by yourself!!!
Do I have a job yet? Nope. A place to live? Nyet. A clue about anything at all??? Absafuckinglutely not! But that's half the fun right? I'll just keep telling myself that. But seriously, despite some people telling me that I am making the wrong decision (actually just one person) everyone, including my parents are very excited for me. Yay. And of course I am excited for myself. Worried? Yes. Afterall, I may be SUPERCOOL in little old Victoria, but will I be so in Toronto? I guess I should be thankful that I no longer strive to be a full time party girl... I hear the TO nightclubs are a tad more formal than the ones out here ("Like, oh ma gawd Britney, did you see that girl? She's like, wearing jeans out to a club? let's shun her!). Yes, some people fear world war, crime and clowns but not me (I trust you will all figure out that I am joking... mostly... I don't like clowns).
As I type, my car is in for a wee bit of servicing so I can sell it before I leave. Anyone wanna buy a Mazda 626? Car 5-0 is a very nice little car. Been around the block a few times and slightly abused by his current owner, but he would make a nice student a good little car. Any takers? Going once, twice....
So, besides packing etc... not much else new to report. I do have a RRDJ to throw out though. For a nice little getaway from reality, check out Van Helsing (Dee, think Lucius Malfoy and you'll figure out how to pronounce it, hee hee.... Harry Potter comes out June 4th yay... sorry folks, a little bit of an aside). I went and saw it this week with my good friend SAM who happend to spy the 2 production mistakes made in the entire film. Maybe those with a prediliction for being nitpicky should avoid the film. Anyway, a nice little yarn... good effects, interesting story, some plot twists, Hugh Jackman. You know, the usual things that make a movie a good one. Mmmmmm, Hugh Jackman... Talk amongst yourselves while I fantasize for a few minutes.......................................... Ok, I'm back. So, yah, check out Van Helsing, the newest movie to carry the Be Petty seal of approval. What's on the [plate next--Troy, this sunday suposedly. I'll let y'all know what I think of that. But with little Legolas in it, how can it not be good? Mmmmm, Legolas....
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